Between Truth

"It was a disorganized and poorly trained force that led to the defeat and death of many Japanese men. The self-inflicted tragedies the public saw made them turn away. The government was losing its support and world opinion of the machines was seen as a poor minority that was suffering oppression from the bullies of the world. Support from home collapsed in the end of the war and a change in administration that was more interested in peace and internal growth took over in Japan. Japan quickly pulled out of the war in the last days and began the decade-long process of allowing the military to atrophy.”

 Herbert Stein, Machine Historian - 

Asami's face cracked a little, but she looked at him quickly and tried to change the focus. "Satoru…you need to be looked at." The injury didn’t appear to be serious, but if it was enough to get Satoru moving that was all that mattered.

Satoru raised his hand up grabbing onto Asami's arm that was moving to lift Satoru up. He gripped her arm tightly trying to get her attention to what was more important. "Asami, please! Tell me, what is going on?" The wound to his shoulder wasn’t even hurting him anymore with his thoughts brought to something other than his mortality. He knew that it wasn’t enough to kill him; it was enough for now to allow his mind to forget the pain.

His hand was wrapped around her arm. She could feel the pressure that he was applying and the look in his eyes. Her mask shattered a little more as she blinked her eyes trying to recover her posture. The look that he was giving her was striking through her without any resistance. "I-I…Satoru, please let me take you out of here. You'll be safer." She tried to maintain her weakening resolve, but Satoru wasn’t being detoured.

"Asami!" Satoru pleaded with her not willing to let her arm go. He could see that she wanted to run away, but he couldn’t let that happen. There were too many unanswered questions he had for her. He had been searching for so long for her knowing that it was a futile effort. She was here now and he wasn’t going to let the moment leave without having some answers. If she ran away again he may never see her this time.

"I-I can't do this…don't make me, Satoru," Asami said with tears starting to form under her eyes. "Please, I beg of you." The torrent of emotions spinning around in her was slowly taking its toll on her. She was restraining herself back with what she had left, but it wasn’t going to last long.

"Asami…" He began to hesitate seeing the reaction that he was causing in Asami. Satoru didn’t know what would be causing her such pain, but he felt so clueless right now. She was keeping things from him that was making her act in a manner that was conflicting with him. He needed to know what secret that she had that meant they couldn’t be together. "…please, I need to know."

"I can't…it's too painful…" Asami fought between the vying thoughts and emotions inside her. She felt like her body was breaking down. The strength that she had was being sapped away from her leaving her helpless and weak. Each thought hammered on her heart more, cracking her piece by piece. ‘But he probably already knows,' her thoughts said, countering her drive to hold fast. She wanted to give in, but what would happen? 'I have to tell him. No, you can't tell him.' Asami fought against the thought believing, knowing, that this had to be the way. She couldn’t have it any other way. It wasn’t for her. 'He should know. But he already knows.' Her resolve was broken to dust along the street. "Let me take you out of here and I'll answer your questions."

"Alright…" Satoru was willing to compromise if it meant that he would finally understand what was going on. He let go of Asami's arm, quickly retracting it back to the ground feeling terrible that he had acted so rudely to her. The sudden change in emotions made him turn away for a moment even though he was fighting against it so as not to change Asami's mind.

Asami helped Satoru up off of the ground. She pulled his arm over the back of her shoulder helping him walk away. 'What do I say to him?' It felt a little strange for her to be carrying Satoru, almost, out of the area. 'How do I tell him?' They slowly put distance between the unconscious rabid people and themselves. 'If he already knows it's easier, but it's not easy.' The walk seemed to be drawn out as though each step required the lifting of the ground itself just to move another centimeter forward. 'How can I do this?' Asami paused for a moment to help Satoru back up and give her shoulder a moment of rest. 'I shouldn't be doing this.' The weight from Satoru had become part of her, but she still had something else that she was dragging chained to her ankles. 'If I do this there is no going back for me.'

Her mind flashed back in time. "What am I doing?" Asami walked through the halls of the office that she was working in as a temporary replacement secretary. The matter of Satoru continued to weigh in her mind. She couldn’t believe that she had just run away from him. Every night when she tried to think all she could hear was Satoru calling to her. 'Can I keep hiding from him? Why am I still feeling like this?' It didn’t matter how much she tried to get him out of her thoughts he would keep returning. She had never felt like that, it made her scared. The feelings that she was experiencing were making her doubt herself. The confusion played with her mind leaving her with the only option to run away. 'It won't leave me…I can't…'

"What are you doing?" a voice from behind said.

Asami had thought that there was no one else in the building at this hour. She was planning on leaving soon herself. "Huh!" She quickly turned her head to see who it was that came up behind her. "Oh, General Oshiro, sir! Excuse me, I didn't mean to be talking out loud." The General was the last person that she had expected to meet in the halls. She had thought she had seen him leaving hours ago.

"You didn't answer the question, Ichihana." The man's expression was unchanged from the serious business-only face that he was wearing. Asami stepped back, becoming off balanced in his presence.

"I'm sorry, sir," she said, quickly bowing to him.

"What is bothering you, your mission?"

"W-well I, uh, no, but…" Asami pulled herself back up, holding a pause in her words. She had to be careful what she told the man knowing what it could mean. 'I can't tell him. I'd be punished for this or even worse…I don't want to lose him…but I can't go against them…' There had to be something said soon Asami knew, but the images of Satoru were making her falter.

"What are you hiding? Has something happened to the target?"

"W-well..." She wanted to collapse to the floor with the weight that she was feeling on top of her. There was nothing she could do to avoid it; she had already made herself suspicious. 'He suspects something already. He's not going to be satisfied until I tell him something. But what do I tell him?' Her mind worked quickly to come up with something that would try to rationally explain her actions and still be truthful without revealing the truth. "He's not going into work anymore. He might have quit or been fired."

"He was unstable to begin with, I suppose. Nothing left to be gained from him. There's no more reason for you to be seeing him anymore so terminate the relationship and clean up whatever loose ends remain. You know what to do."

"Y-yes, sir." The General walked away quietly dismissing her and leaving her with an increasingly heavy weight. Asami knew that she had to find Satoru quickly. The thought of seeing Satoru made her heart jump, forcing her to fight the rising excitement that she was feeling.

'Satoru…what am I supposed to do?' She had the orders from the General, but there were her own feelings. The obvious answer was in front of her, but she couldn’t simply follow orders. Asami hesitated in thought, stopping their walk.

Satoru looked over to Asami, uncertain why she had stopped. When he scanned the area he realized that they were back in a safer part of the city. He had wanted to stand on his own, but Asami was still holding his arm, though he didn’t mind the touch of her warmth. Satoru pulled himself back to focus on the answers that he needed. "We're here…Asami?"

"Oh…yeah…its time…" Asami's voice had trailed off, distracted as though she had forgotten the reason for Satoru stopping her. However, she could see that Satoru wanted to stand on his own and carefully released his arm. She helped Satoru back to standing on his own even though he had the look of it being embarrassing and unnecessary.

"Yeah…what's going on, Asami?" Satoru said pushing the subject quickly even though he knew that he shouldn’t be acting in such a forceful manner. His legs were still feeling a little shaky from the beating that he took, setting himself against the lamp pole for a brace. "What can't you tell me?"

"Satoru, I-I…" Asami tried to find somewhere to begin. She knew that even starting at the beginning wasn’t going to make the dilemma any easier on her. Each moment her legs had the compulsion to run away. She didn’t know what was keeping her from fleeing again. 'I can't do this…I can't tell him…it's too hard…' The conflicting views in her mind were spinning her in circles. This feeling she was having continued to grow stronger. '…you must…it'd just be easier to…' She wanted to agree with the voice knowing that was what she wanted, but doubt continued to tie her. '…no, you can't…'

The struggle that she was going through made Satoru pull back a little. If this was so hard for her he had to give her the room and time to prepare. "Asami, please…just take your time."

"What I have to tell you is not easy…Satoru, I-I'm a…" She was stalling and she knew it. There was no effort made to hide it anymore. Satoru knew too well how difficult she was trying to tell him. She had wanted to tell him since the first time they met, but couldn’t then. It was the right time she knew, but there was still that last chain holding her back.

"What?" Satoru said quickly to respond, but tried to keep from staying too long. He didn’t want to leave too much silence in the air for long. "You can tell me."

Asami tied her fingers together trying to find the right way to say what she wanted. The words were there, but she couldn’t pick them. She was straining against the chain so that she could be free of the burden. The last chain of fear was too strong for her to overcome as it bound her entire body. Everything retreated towards the void in a long silence. It was then that the cliff appeared before her inviting her to take the leap. Asami closed her eyes and prayed to whatever god was watching now at the pathetic scene before him. "I'm a machine, Satoru!" Asami shouted out, but not with anger or malice she was almost crying.

Satoru stepped back, not certain of what he had heard. He had to let the words repeat through his mind several times, the echo becoming all the more painful to hear. "What! A-a machine?" It was difficult for him to accept that the woman standing in front of him wasn’t human. However, the display with those rabid people made him question what was different about her. There were scenarios playing through his mind, but none of them seemed to add up. This didn’t add up anymore than the rest. 'Its true then…I can't believe it.' The revelation was leaving his head spinning around looking for what he should do next, but failing miserably. All he could do was stare at her in silence trying to find something that would make him certain. 'What does this mean? What do I do now?'

'Does he hate me now?' She felt him staring at her, examining her for proof. It was to be expected, she knew, but it didn’t make it any easier. She could feel her heart pounding and aching. 'He does…of course, he does. Why wouldn't he hate me? I'm a machine that's been killing and nearly killed him…' The urge to run had returned stronger than ever in her thoughts. She was barely holding it back not wanting to feel this pain that was covering her.

'Asami…a machine…' Satoru pulled back his gaze seeing how uncomfortable it was making her. He didn’t know what he should be doing, if she was a machine he should be running. However, she was Asami. He knew her, spent time with her. He couldn’t leave, but she was different now. '…but she's so real…but she's a machine.' His mind struggled with the polarity of dilemma. His heart knew it to be simple and his mind knew it to not be. 'They're trying to kill us…no they're…they can be more than that…no they can't…'

Asami struggled with her body not to leave Satoru again. The only thing holding her anymore was her feelings, her heart speaking to her. However, another voice entered her mind now. 'You know what to do.' It spoke to her loyalty, to her reason and sense.

'I can't do it!' She couldn’t look at Satoru anymore, the conflictions that he was creating inside her. Asami turned around facing away from him hoping that she could regain her composure, but knew that it was just delaying things.

The voice came again, stronger this time drowning out any other thoughts or feelings that she had. 'You must…you have to do it!' Her mind had clarity finally for once. Asami had forgotten how calming and warm it could be.

Satoru approached Asami uncertain why she had turned, but knew that he had to do something to stop her before she decided to flee. He reached out a hand placing it on her hand hoping that a connection would make her see. The questions he had seemed secondary as well as doubts, this was just instinct.

'B-but I…Satoru…' Satoru's hand interrupted the even flow, making her hesitate for a moment. Asami closed her eyes, wincing in the pain that was renewed in her heart before it was shut out. 'I-I must.' She knew what was required of her. Her feet turned and she pulled her hand away from Satoru. Asami stared at him blankly with no emotion in her face. "Satoru…" The next moment before Satoru was able to react she clutched her hands around his neck starting to drain his life away as her grip tightened.

Asami lifted Satoru off the ground from the empty street. His hands grabbed at her wrists trying to free him, but she was too strong. "A-as-asami…I-I can't…breathe…"

"Satoru…" Her hands closed fully around his neck making Satoru cough loudly. The soul drained away from her eyes leaving only order in her mind executing her directive. 'I must do it,' she thought as the last corner of her heart poured out to try to turn her.

'Finish it now! End it,' the voice said shouting at her. It was struggling to keep her in line from swaying. 'You're a machine and he is a man. You can't live in the same world. You're different than him.'

'I'm different…he's a man…I'm a machine…' The words tried to convince her, but the small corner was beginning to win. She was losing certainty in what she was doing. The clarity was disappearing from her mind spinning into chaos that she was being swept away in.

"Asami…" Satoru said struggling to speak as the last gasps of breath he had were evaporating his life. He couldn’t think straight about wanting to live another second longer. He didn’t care that it was Asami killing him or that she was a machine, just to reach her somehow. Satoru stretched out his hand touching the soft skin of her face. His mouth tried to move again, but nothing came out.

The caress of Satoru's hand made her hesitate. The last of her determination disappeared in the wind that blew against her, making her drop Satoru to the ground. "I can't…I can't kill him!" Tears began to stream down her cheeks. She knew what she was supposed to do, but she couldn’t do it adding to the confusion that was in her mind.

"Asami…" Satoru said slowly as he nursed his neck with his hand feeling the life returning back to him. He wanted to stand up, but all he could manage was to speak and barely that. The tortured expression across Asami's face was another missing piece to the puzzle added to the table for Satoru to sort out. He would have tried to understand what was going on, but he wasn’t thinking with his head anymore.

"I can't do it," Asami shouted to her side, backing away. She turned side to side as though there was someone else with them. "Don't make me! Please!"

"Asami! What's wrong?" Satoru threw his arm up reaching out with his hand trying to hold on to Asami. He was losing her again, he could feel it. There was something between him that was holding her back. He hoped that just holding her, to feel her warmth and her to feel his that she would return to him. She needed something simple, something human to attach to. His hand was out of reach growing more distant. She was falling out of his reach.

"Satoru, just forget about me please!" Asami took another step away from Satoru seeing him reach out to her. She wanted to go to him, but couldn’t allow herself. This wasn’t supposed to be for her. She wasn’t allowed to have this happiness. It would only hurt them both in the end. Asami turned away from Satoru. "We can't be together. I'm sorry." Streams of tears hung in Asami's wake as she ran away down the street leaving Satoru lying on the ground.

His muscles suddenly jumped into motion fueled only by emotions and fear of losing Asami. Satoru took two steps before collapsing on the ground feeling his injuries and shortness of breath still lingering holding him back. "Asami!" he shouted into the streets futilely knowing that she was not returning. 'No! Not again! She's run away…I can't stop her…' Satoru pulled himself up roughly against the wall of the building nearby looking down at the street that was empty now. A thought came to him that frightened him. '…do I go after her? I don't know, she's not even human…what have I been doing?'

There were no answers for him here and he was having doubts that he would ever find the answers he needed anymore. He started to move his legs slowly working his way back to his apartment to recover. 'What's left for me in this world now? It's all been lies and deceit. Is there any truth left in this fake world?'