Forevermore Fades

Pink fabric slid over white garments and pale skin. Center seams ran down spines. Hems were adjusted then folded for height. Obi belts were tied. Not a word was said. Nervous, shaking breathing was the only thing to occasionally interrupt the stillness of the darkened room. Naoe and Hazuki were soon dressed. They turned to face once another, each slightly adjusting the opposite’s collar and cords. Naoe looked at him with a last beg of desperation as her resolve began to break on his behalf.

“You could run away. Run far away. The medicine let you forget me! You could forget me again. Please,” she begged as her hands shook.

His hands rested on hers.

“That was a very long time ago. We’ve been through so much more since then. And, I am never taking those meds again. I could never forget you. I could never leave you or condemn to such a cruel existence. It’s okay. It will be okay,” he answered.

His mind was set. She did not push any more. The love in her heart was matched by his, and she knew she would do the same thing.

“I will give you whatever strength I can. You won’t do this alone,” she said as her arms slid around his waist.

His scent was still the same. Deep breaths through her nose captured final memories of the hints of cedar. He was doing the same. Honey and plum.

“I love you. I am so grateful to have known you,” he whispered.

“I love you. Always and forever,” she replied.

Hazuki said farewell to his home and the two of them walked to the park hand-in-hand.

Orbs still dotted the park with soft yellow light. Pink was harder to see in the darkness, but occasionally the vibrancy was lit well enough to be visible even in the absence of the sun.

Down they went, moving through the familiar paths without a word, until Naoe’s tree was ahead. All of the others were already there waiting.

The festival decorations were gone. The park was as it usually was at this time of night: No other soul was there. The couple’s footsteps slowed unintentionally as their destination got closer and closer. Shinji approached them.

“We are ready for you,” he said quietly as he handed them magatama necklaces.

The curved stones felt weightless in their hands as they pulled the string over their necks. Hazuki’s mouth felt parched and metallic. An empty heaviness pulled at Naoe’s insides. They reached the tree and stood on opposite sides of its trunk.

Sayane, Arthur, and Matsumoto approached, holding a basin of water and a ladle. The couple purified themselves, then poured water onto the tree. Ritual prayers were spoken in near whispers as the two of them asked for purification. Around them, the rest began to chant the Harai Norito purification prayer.

“Do you have your cups or bowls?” asked Shinji, to which the couple held out their kintsugi bowls.

Sake was poured into each bowl, to which they poured into the other’s mouth. Naoe smiled and wiped a small drop from the corner of Hazuki’s mouth.

Their altar was set: Naoe’s Kyoto kimono robe. Their bowls. A piece of tarp from his tent. The broken branch Hazuki had used to take Naoe from the park. Her propagation vial. Her book of poems and the hentai. Their selected photos. A bottle that Hazuki had filled with seawater in Kamakura. A gashapon tree figure.

Incense smoke drifted around them. It was time.

“Naoe. Your heart is ready. You have made peace. I ask you to stay with us until Hazuki’s offering is complete, then you may depart and find rest. Thank you for all that you have done for these trees and this soil,” said Guji.

“Thank you. I want to be with Hazuki until the very end,” she answered.

“Hazuki. Your heart is calm and prepared. You are ready to absolve the burden of hate left on the plum tree’s caretaker that was cast on her by the villagers which slowly poisoned her own self-worth. Do you accept the sacrifice this entails?” asked Guji.

“I do. I want Naoe to know peace and rest. I accept oblivion, if it means I shall greet it with her,” said Hazuki.

“Very well. Prepare yourselves. We are about to begin.”

Their eyes locked. A glint of begging appeared for only a moment, then faded as Naoe looked at him with only love and gratitude. His eyes were dark yet welcoming and calm.

“Always and Forever,” she whispered.

“Goodnight, and goodbye,” he answered.

Tears ran down their faces. Sleeves were rolled to reveal the handwritten poems that adorned their arms. Hazuki looked at the others with a hint of fear in his face.

“I… I don’t want to let go of Naoe through this. Please, if I start to fall, please help me hold on to her,” he asked with a trembling bow.

Naoe’s whimper choked in her throat as her fingers wrapped in his.

“Keep your eyes on me. I’ll keep you safe,” she said.

A bell chimed from Guji’s ceremonial wand. Shinji began to chant.

The couple met eyes once more as fingers pressed into one another for dear life.

“It begins,” said Guji as he stepped forward.

Hazuki and Naoe closed their eyes to inhale and exhale. Deep breaths sounded in slow unison until they both opened their eyes once more. Guji approached them. Sweat from Hazuki’s hands ran down Naoe’s wrists as her fingers tightened on his for support. Guji’s hand reached out and met Hazuki’s back. The pain was instant. A fire unlike anything he ever knew began to roar beneath his skin and behind his eyes. His fingers dug into Naoe’s hands. The winds immediately began to swirl around them. A horrific scream of divine pain rang through the trees as Hazuki began his sacrifice.

The pain was different from a month ago. Whereas that had felt like his life force was being siphoned by a powerful drain, this felt like his skin was being sawed away while jagged boulders repeatedly crushed his lungs and bones.

“Hazuki! I’m here! I’m here!” Naoe cried out as his eyes widened in near hallucination.

He was looking through her now. His pupils were gone. Only the color of his irises was visible.

“Hazuki! I’m here! I’m with you! Keep your eyes on me!”

Naoe felt Hazuki’s energy being ripped from her until it was all but gone. Her strength immediately began to fail. His color started to fade. The screams were louder now. Guji’s voice trembled as he almost lost his place while chanting with Shinji.

“DON’T STOP! I CAN TAKE IT!!” Hazuki screamed in an echoing voice.

His leg began to buckle.

He was in her village now. Her fence was in the distance. All the world around him swirled in a dark smoky haze.

NAOEI’MHERE!

HAZUKII’MWITHYOU!

“Hazuki keep your eyes on me!”

He could see her. She was before him. She was her. She was a child. Then she was the young woman he loved. He was formless. Once he was a young boy, running to her with a heart racing with excitement. Those memories were torn from his mind.

He was back in her village. His essence was bleeding from his soul and down onto the tree and fence line. His spirit poured out like a tsunami wave that crashed into the fence and tore the posts away in a torrent.

Hazuki’s feet gave out and he fell to his knees. Arthur and Matsumoto were there immediately, bracing him. Sayane clasped her hands over his so that they could not release Naoe’s.

Naoe felt his spirit fading. All of her existence cried out for him and rushed from her being into his. Gluttonous, desperate, unseen claws tore into the walls of her veins as they were expelled from her soul. The pain sent a gurgling shriek of agony from her lungs as she forced herself to keep her eyes open and on Hazuki. Winds grew around them as the ground beneath them began to glow and pulsate.

“Hazuki! You’re not alone! I am here to help you!! I love you!!!” Naoe screamed out as her energy seeped into his.

HAZUKIIAMWITHYOU!NAOEI’MHERE!

Whispering shapes of figures with blackened eyes and soot-like skin hissed and watched him from the edge of the village as his waves of energy washed the fence away. The current of light swept away all of the fence beams and hut until only the plum tree and the little girl remained.

Naoe was with him now. The two of them drifted to the crying child and growing tree. The hissing grew. Dissonant symphonies of wind and rage grew in intensity. Naoe’s hand reached her child self and held her in a warm embrace as Hazuki embraced them both.

ITWASLIKEIWASSTILLINTHEDARK. INEVERESCAPED. ITRIPPEDMEAPART. IBECAMESOMETHINGTHATIHATE.

The child and tree vanished in a breeze of pink petals as the hisses grew to screeches.

ISWEARTHATTHEFEARLEFTMEBLIND

ANDCRIPPLEDINDOUBT

Naoe’s spirit turned to the glowing form that was Hazuki.

ICOULDN’THOLDITTOGETHER.

MY HEART TURNED COLD WITH THE WEATHER.

In my abyss, I resigned myself to the winter forever.

They were both repeating the thoughts to one another in words that only they could hear. Their winters were over. The cold was fading as the blossoms and color returned to their lives.

Now in the park, the trees began to glow as the ground’s pulsing light spread wider and wider across the entire grove.

“You’re almost there Naoe and Hazuki!” shouted Shinji.

Sayane, Arthur and Matsumoto braced them together against the tree.

The hissing roar was cascading down the hill towards the two spirits.

Forsaken by the timing and our circumstances, I wish so much of this had been different then. I wish we’d had more time. But this was enough.

The mass of roaring darkness rushed forward and was nearly on top of them. Hazuki’s spirit stepped forward.

These horrors are mineI’mOverTheTerror

They live in me nowI’mAtPeaceWithItNow

Her hands wrapped around his waist. Her face was against his back. The roaring wave of hate launched itself at her, but he was there to absorb them. The ground split beneath their feet as the black current rushed forth with fury and poured into his open arms.

Hazuki’s scream seemed to shake the very trees as his eyes glowed white and turned to the sky.

“Hazuki! Look at me! You’re still here with me! I’ll always be with you!!” Naoe screamed as she released his hands to grab his face and pull it back to her.

Her lips met his in a violent embrace and she gave the remainder of her existence to him.

The roaring wave had poured into Hazuki entirely. Veins across his body turned black then tore, covering his skin in bruises. His arms pulled into his chest and he almost broke. A glowing warmth flowed from her into him and he tensed as the cursed hate roiled within his spirit in preparation for its extinction. Her eyes darkened as all of her spirit was consumed in the task. His teeth gnashed into a mangled snarl as the curse was burned away. Naoe held his body until the very end as the two of them screamed out in excruciating release.

A pulse of pure energy exploded from them and covered the park in light.

It was done.

ILOVEYOU

UOYEVOLI

ALWAYSANDFOREVER

REVEROFDNASYAWLA

Everything was quiet now. Sayane and Arthur opened their eyes from the ground where they had fallen. Sayane let out a heartbroken gasp of joy and sorrow. The others could see why.

Hazuki and Naoe were before them, but they were neither spirit nor flesh. Bits of their bodies were drifting away in glowing shards of crystalline light. Burn-like wounds covered their eyes and hands. The skin on their arms where their poems were was now blackened and torn. Hazuki was slumped forward with a small stream of darkened fluid dripping from his mouth as he slowly inhaled the smallest breaths. Naoe was collapsed by his lap, with her hands padding the ground in search for her love. Above them, the tree was glowing with soft pulses that were already starting to fade.

Sayane rushed forward to help them, but her hands passed through their bodies as though they were smoke.

“Hazuki? Naoe?” Guji called out, but they didn’t answer.

A whimper was all that escaped Hazuki’s lips as his body twitched and his fingers reached out to nothing in search of Naoe. As he moved, pieces of his body fell away like charred bark before turning into glowing specks that shined then dissipated into the dark.

“Ha..ki…? Zu…ki…?” Naoe whimpered as her blinded eyes tried to find him.

A desperate groan escaped her lips as she tried but failed to pull herself up from the ground. Hazuki grimaced and let out a sound not unlike that of a deer that had been struck by a vehicle.

“Hazuki! Naoe! You’re free. You did it!” Sayane cried as she reached out to them and stopped herself.

“You both did it,” Arthur whispered.

Matsumoto wept and Shinji turned away. Guji blinked his eyes cleared then began to mutter a new prayer. The tree’s glow was already nearly extinguished. The ground was returning to moonlit grass. Tremors shook the young couple as their vanishing forms begged for the other.

Broken, mangled hands clawed through the dark in desperate search. Naoe heard Hazuki crying and her head rose without guidance. Then she found him. Lost fingers touched annihilated faces. Their lips met and the two of them shook in sobs of release as they burned into a single flame. Their bodies faded in the wind as the sounds of weeping friends told them goodbye.

All was white and warm. Hazuki opened his eyes. He was a young boy once more, just as he had been when he first met her. He was in the crystalline grove, but it was slowly shattering and falling away in silence. A small young girl was in the distance. It was Naoe. She was a child just like she was when she was locked away behind that fence. She was far away. The tree was between them, glowing full and bright.

“Naoe!!!” Hazuki cried out.

She turned to him with a cry of joy. Now they were grown once more. Her scars were gone. His body was healed. His legs were moving with full strength. His cane was gone. It was as though the hurts of the world had never happened to them.

“Hazuki!!!” Naoe shouted as she rushed towards him amid the collapsing dreamscape.

Hazuki was sprinting now, just as he had done all those years ago when he would rush to her after school. The ground around them began to snap and fade. They met at the tree and jumped into one another’s arms.

Hazuki held her in full embrace and lifted her from the ground. They spun around in incandescent happiness and he did not let her go as the two of them laughed and cheered unfiltered cries of joy. The tree glowed pink then shattered and its gift of floating petals adorned them in glowing warmth. Almost all of the crystal grove was gone now.

Hazuki caught a handful of petals and looked at the tree.

“Thank you for allowing me to meet her,” he said to the tree as it began to fade.

“Thank you for everything,” said Naoe as she touched the bark.

With that, her crystalline tree vanished. They began to fade. Naoe touched Hazuki’s hair one last time. Hazuki closed his eyes and leaned his head into her chest. Naoe whispered a sacred secret into his ear as he smiled a full, kind-hearted smile. Their lips met ever so softly as they embraced one another and vanished.

They were free.