Good joke

Jesse planted his feet and swung his sword not unlike a batter. Muramasa easily anticipated the attack, and parried it with its own weapon. Both gods refused to move from their respective spots. A flurry of strikes ensued, with the only sound being the clang of metal smashing against metal.

Jesse leapt into the air and kicked against Muramasa’s sword. He found himself flying backward. The moon began to glow an unholy red, and a strange liquid started pouring out of the sky.

He tried to dash forwards, but found his feet slipping on the slick ground. Muramasa slowly advanced and made a stab at Jesse. He managed to dodge it, but found himself on the ground now. His hand clawed at the grass,

“It’s no surprise you’re weak after hiding for so long”

Jesse rolled out of the way and got on his feet.

“Father, grant your son this request…”

He dodged another attack, and gracefully stabbed back a few times. Muramasa made a mad rush at Jesse, swinging their sword back and forth.

“...that I may, if you will it, be temporarily freed of my mortal body”

All of their attacks were parried. He began to put more pressure on Muramasa, forcing them into a defensive stance. The red liquid was up to their heels now. It made a nauseating squelching noise every time they took a step.

Muramasa struck Jesse’s hand, throwing his sword out of his hands. There was not a second wasted before the second strike came.

Muramas’s sword stopped mid swing. It was lodged in Jesse’s hand.

“What are you even trying to do here, Mur?”

Muramasa tried to push the sword deeper, but to no avail.

“I’ll show them all I’m the greatest sword fighter there is. My name will grace their history books, like the demons and gods of old”

Jesse grasped the sword with his other hand and began to twist it.

“You left the sea so you could impress the minnows that reside in the tide pools. I wouldn’t call that much of an accomplishment”

He pushed the sword to the side and shot his hand out. Before Muramasa could process anything, Jesse’s fingers were tightly wrapped around their neck. There was a sickening snap, and then a splash as Muramasa’s lifeless body fell to the ground.

Jesse held their head up to his face and stared into their glowing red eyes.
“I’m not going to let you ruin my life, Mur”

A spinal cord began to sprout from the bottom of the head, but Jesse grabbed it and ripped it off. His fingers dug into the flesh, tearing the gray skin slowly.

“Wait, stop, I’ll help you-”

Their face tore in half. Some of the flesh made a feeble attempt to repair itself, but Jesse ripped it apart. Satisfied with his work, he dropped the bits of face onto the ground.

***

“When are Jack and Isaac gonna be done talking?”

Em placed both her feet on the dashboard and took another swig from her canteen.

“I don’t know”

Etsuko sat back in her seat and sighed. She took out a brush and handed it to her brother.

“Brush my hair”

Fuyu took the hairbrush and motioned for his sister to turn around.

“So I have to ask…what’s with the whole getup?”

“You mean Isaac?”

Etsuko nodded her head, getting her hair tangled again. Fuyu patiently began the process again, making sure not to cause any unnecessary pain.

“I don’t know, why do you wear your clothes?”

“Cause I want to?”

“Okay”

They were all silent for a while. Etsuko suddenly jolted forward and stuck her head in between the two front seats. She glared at Em.

“That’s a non-answer. Tell me the real reason”

“Don’t push it, sis”

She sat back in her seat and pouted for a while. It started to rain. Etsuko pressed her face against the car window.

“I hope they come back soon”

***

Jack made sure he was at least ten feet away from Isaac as they made their way through the nightmarish woods. If anything happened, he wanted a good head start.

“Um, should we really be doing this? I mean, you told Jesse we were stay back and-”

Isaac spun around, walking backwards now.

“It’s fine. He never said not to watch or anything”

“I don’t think we should get into semantical arguments with a god”

They could now see the dripping red moon. Jack shuddered and readjusted his mechanical fists. The sound of fighting caught their attention.

“Hurry up. I don’t wanna miss this”

Isaac flipped a switch on his legs and started dashing at inhuman speed. Jack tried to keep up, but found that without his grappling gear, his movement was heavily impaired by the weight of his equipment.

Isaac burst into the clearing, feet sloshing in the alien liquid that covered the ground. His feet slipped and he found himself falling on the ground.

Jesse stood in the center of the area alone. He looked listlessly at Isaac.

“Oh, I thought you’d all be staying at the car”

Jack finally caught up and stood behind Isaac, out of breath and covered in sweat. Isaac scratched the back of his neck and grinned.

“Sorry, I guess we got a little antsy”

He looked side to side.

“Where’s the god?”

Jesse began walking back towards the car. The sky began to clear, and some of the trees untwisted themselves.

“I killed it”

Isaac caught up to Jesse and fell in step. The god made a quick maneuver with his feet, throwing Isaac off and causing him to stumble.

“God, you’re petty. How did you manage to marry an angel like Scarlet?”

In an almost biblical moment, for the first time in history, a god made man considered taking the life of a human.

***

Jesse’s angel was still at home, ignorant to both the fighting going on at the mountain top and the horror in the clothing store. She and Yoshi were sitting on the kitchen floor, fingerpainting, when they heard a knock at the door.

Scarlet got up from the floor and wiped her fingers on an old rag. She opened the front door. An impossibly tall and lanky woman stood in the doorway.

“Been a while, huh?” she said, walking past Scarlet, who stood frozen in the doorway.

“Love the decor, very homey. I’ve gotta say, I noticed a lack of flowers. You’ve always loved those y’know?”

The woman’s face brightened when she saw Yoshi.

“That one yours?”

“Y-yes” Scarlet stammered, finally regaining her ability to move. She closed the door.

“She’s cute. Kind of surprised you didn’t end up with Cass, you know? Although I guess she died first. Sorry, was that insensitive? It’s been a while, but Iunno…”

Scarlet rubbed her forehead.

“I’m so sorry, do I know you?”

The woman laughed and held out her hand.

“Of course you do. I’m Zaza, remember? Ice skater, friends with Cass. We had a few drinks together”

“Right, sorry. Coffee?”

Zaza threw herself into a chair and sighed. She glanced at the shape on the wall, then at Scarlet, then back at the wall.

“No thanks, I’m not a fan”

Scarlet sat down, rubbed her hands together a bit, and coughed. She looked at Zaza with an air of expectancy.

“Do you want some coffee?”

Zaza giggled, and Scarlet joined in, because it was pretty funny how two random people had entered her house in the past 24 hours. She didn’t know much about how the world worked, or what you should say to a friend in distress, but she was certain that the situation she found herself in at the moment was not something the average person would experience. In a way, she was pretty lucky.

Scarlet started laughing along with Zaza, and asked if she wanted coffee again.