Uda - Possessed (2)

Uda’s body went limp. The Sky Stone barely touched the stump that had once been her tongue; even so, the pain vanished. She felt her tongue regrow rapidly and let out a soft, relieved moan. The wounds on her wrists and ankles filled with a soothing warmth that felt like home, calming her. She closed her eyes, clinging to that single instant of peace and familiarity. She thanked the Sky Stone, whatever it was, for its presence and its healing, comforting power.

Then the feeling disappeared.

A loud, agonized, furious scream filled Uda’s ears. She blinked and saw that Immesh had stumbled back. He stared first at the Sky Stone in his hand, then at her, his expression confused and half-mad as he gagged and convulsed. His throat worked violently, as if he were choking on something that wasn’t there.

“I… thank you, thank you… thank you for this peace,” Uda wept.

She couldn’t hold the words back. She knew what would happen to her for speaking without permission; she had endured it before and knew more punishment would follow soon. Even so, she didn’t care. She had felt something good again, even if only for the briefest moment. Hope, and the sense that she wasn’t alone. That something was guiding her.

She felt herself crying, and for the first time the tears were ones of relief.

Finally, something good, she thought, bracing herself for the terrible punishment she knew was coming.

It doesn’t matter. I’ve found courage and hope again… somehow I’ll find a way to save Nia. I am now sure, she thought, closing her eyes.

Immesh’s furious screams tore through the room, followed by a crash that broke her from her thoughts. She opened her eyes again and saw the Exorcist on the other side of the room. The Sky Stone had fallen from his hand, and he now looked as if he were about to reduce the entire ruin to rubble and ash. His face twisted with boundless rage and contempt. A vein pulsed violently at his temple. His lips trembled, and spittle frothed at the corners of his mouth. His face was flushed red, and he staggered in disbelief before suddenly exploding in fury.

“LERA… YOU STUPID, INSANE, USELESS… YOU INCOMPETENT WHORE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? IN THE NAME OF THE GODDESS, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? YOU DIDN’T FOLLOW THE RITES PROPERLY, YOU ARROGANT, FOOLISH BITCH!” Immesh roared.

He slammed his fist against the wall with such force that pieces of it broke away, leaving a large gaping hole beside him. Dust and debris scattered through the air, although Immesh seemed not to notice. His hands began to glow and tremble, and threads of light stretched toward Uda in thin, quivering lines, alive, reaching.

Hungry.

“No, please, no…” she shrieked.

It felt strange, almost unreal, to finally use her tongue again. She shut her eyes and waited for the pain.

Please, please, I can’t take it anymore…

Then she felt it: the cruel bindings that held her to the table were gone.

She looked down in confusion. The nausea faded, and she could move again. Slowly, shaking, she sat up. She was freezing, yet something inside her heart gave her a flicker of warmth: hope.

“What… what’s happening?” she stammered, still dazed.

She flinched again when Immesh looked at her.

“You… Lera never touched you with a Sky Stone, did she? DID SHE?” the Exorcist barked.

“No… no…” Uda answered, raising her arms defensively over her head.

Please, let it be over… please, let it end…

Then she heard a sob and jerked in shock. When she looked at Immesh, she saw him crouched on the floor, hands over his head. His shoulders shook violently, and for a moment he looked like a pitiful creature breaking apart from the inside.

“I never would have agreed… FUCK, FUCK! Lera… you’re… I’m sorry, I’m so sorry… I’m sorry for everything…”

He gathered himself and stood, his face pale and lifeless, only faded remnants of his harshness remaining. A tremor ran through his jaw. “I never thought Lera was so blinded by her hatred, by her thirst for glory. I never thought she’d do something like this to a… normal person, so lost in her ambition…”

He reached out a hand toward her in a gesture meant to calm; his face was still carved with shock and disbelief. His fingers shivered uncontrollably, the burn scars along his knuckles pulsing faintly with leftover Lucidity.

“What… what?” Uda stammered.

Immesh closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“She gave you the black crystal to touch. When she tested you. Not the Sky Stone. Am I correct?” he asked again.

“No, only the crystal,” Uda said.

Immesh let out another wild, disgusted scream and raised his hands. The ceiling split apart in a flash of light and burst into fragments. He ran his hands over his face and bald head, and he exhaled shakily, almost collapsing under his own breath.

“I can’t imagine what you must think of us. You came here and were… treated by us… in the worst possible way. I nearly… oh, Goddess. Everything has gone wrong…” Immesh sank into a chair and stared at her, his eyes wet. Something hollow lived behind them.

“What does that mean? What about the Sky Stone?” Uda asked quietly.

She began edging away from the Exorcist, trying not to be noticed.

Did the battle with that Deepest break him? Drive him mad? He is so different from what I heard. What happened to him?

“The test for the newly arrived is clearly planned out. First the lamp. Then the black crystal. Then a Sky Stone. That’s the order. The lamp tests Lucidity. The black crystal tests affinity with darkness. The Sky Stone tests the heart and conviction, something a Nightmare does not have like we do. I’ve heard that some of my brothers and sisters no longer perform the last part and call it unnecessary. After all, an affinity for darkness is already too risky, is it not? Perhaps some do not even know the purpose of the last part... But Lera should have known. She was a cleric once. A damn good one as well, or so I heard. Looks like after Eskia her whole world turned to shit. Maybe that is why she didn’t do it, because she wanted to make sure that no… a personal grudge, you see…”

Immesh shook his head in disbelief.

“But… I react to the chain. Isn’t that proof enough?” Uda asked, and immediately wished she could bite her tongue off again.

Why am I arguing with him about this? Have I lost my mind?

Immesh, however, seemed not to care at all. “The Light of the stones around your neck is a special kind. It’s created by members of the Order who are bound to the Holy Circle. Its radiance works wonders against the Nightmares. However, there’s another kind of Light. Pure Light, untouched by ideas. Like that of the Sky Stones. Like the Light clerics nurture and use to keep the barriers intact. It’s a Light that illuminates the world and our paths in the colors of the rainbow, Light that simply shows the way and isn’t corrupted by thought. Because every thought can corrupt, no matter how noble it may be. It is rare that people can even use it, as I said, though… Now, tell me, what do you feel when we use the chain around your neck?” the Exorcist asked absently.

Shaking, Uda flinched, braced for another wave of sickness, but nothing came.

“Nausea. Disgust…” Uda admitted, hesitant.

“Pain?” Immesh asked.

“No. No pain.”

Immesh winced as if stabbed by her answer. “I was afraid you would say that. You see, if you were truly possessed, it would be unbearable. It would feel as if knives were constantly being driven into your throat, sometimes duller, sometimes sharper. Still, that is what you would feel.” Immesh rubbed his scarred chin in confusion, avoiding her gaze. His hand shook again, a reminder of the Deepest’s damage. or... was it guilt?

“No, it is simply vile for me… repulsive…” Uda trembled.

Immesh turned toward the wall. “I’ve heard of that before from other Seekers, although I’ve never seen it myself. It’s rare. So rare that I can hardly even hold Lera responsible for her foolishness. Darkness isn’t the same as Nightmares, even though they’re born from it. And if, within the darkness, you can see something that drives you forward… something you might even think could be useful, for people, for us… it might be your path. Goddess help me, these words border on heresy. Yet in this war, we must consider every possible weapon. We must! To beat these shits…”

Uda took a deep breath and let the trembling ease. She swallowed and tried to stand upright.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

Once again, Immesh ignored her. He began pacing thoughtfully before finally turning to her. His posture was slightly hunched, his gaze still distant, but there was fear there too. Fear of what he was about to decide.

“If I take the chain off you, what will you do?” he asked.

Abruptly, he turned toward her.

Uda wanted to answer, to assure him she would do whatever he asked of her, but before she could move her lips, the Exorcist raised his hand—still covered in burn scars—and motioned for her to stop.

“I don’t want you to tell me what you think I want to hear. I want to know what you’ll really do! I’ll release you, no matter what you say; if you attack me, I’ll strike back and turn you to ashes. I’m far from recovered from my battle, yet I could still challenge you,” Immesh warned.

“I…” Uda began, then stopped again.

What should I do? Save Nia? That’s probably the most important thing. I’ll find her and… But can I defeat Lera? Maybe Kelwin. Lera…? Never.

“I want to save my friend, Nia. Though I know I can’t. I don’t know what to do now. I’m only here to protect her from the worst harm,” she finally said.

Immesh suddenly looked sad. He hesitated, his emotions like invaders in that terrible, scarred face. A tremor passed through him. it was not rage this time, but something more human, more painful. Then he slowly turned his raised hand, and a white, sparkling cloud rose from his fingers, drifting toward Uda. It wrapped itself gently around her neck.

The chain fell softly to the floor. When the small golden links and glowing stones hit the tiles and she heard their faint clatter, other sensations finally returned to her. She felt the warmth of darkness surrounding her, enveloping her, protecting her. As the sickness that had gripped her for so many days faded away, Uda began to cry uncontrollably while laughing at the same time, falling to the floor. She didn’t know how long she lay there, overcome with relief.

Is it over? Am I really free? Is this a trick…? This might be a trick… but he seems sincere. But I know his reputation, what…

Then she felt the Nightmares in the distance, wandering through the Shaded Lands, and even from them came warmth. A low, humming warmth that vibrated faintly in her bones. It felt vast and aware, neither cruel nor kind; simply present.

If Immesh was right, then it hadn’t been cruelty that had felt so strangely blissful during the Nightmare Tide—not the tearing hunger or the rage of the monsters—but the darkness itself. Could it be that it wasn’t as horrible as she had feared? Had she misunderstood it all along? Had others misunderstood it?

I have to find out…

“What is your name?” Immesh suddenly asked.