Chapter 20: The Wall of Glass

The next day, the tension in the training session is palpable. Minaki is struggling.

We are in a clearing in the woods above the village, near the burned ruins of the shrine. Hitane has decided we need to be closer to the source of our power.

"Block it out," Hitane commands. Her voice is sharp, frustrated.

Minaki is sitting on the ground, her hands over her ears, rocking back and forth. "It is too loud," she gasps. "Mrs. Tanaka... her arthritis is hurting... The grocer is worried about his debt... The children are fighting..."

"They are not your feelings!" Hitane snaps. "They are noise! Build the wall, Minaki! Glass! Stone! Anything!"

"I cannot!" Minaki cries, tears streaming down her face. "It hurts! They all hurt!"

"You are weak," Hitane says coldLy. "If the Cleaners come, they will use this against you. They will project pain until your mind shatters. You are a liability."

"Stop it!" I yell, stepping between them. "Hitane, that is enough. You are hurting her."

"I am trying to save her!" Hitane yells back, her composure cracking. "Do you think I enjoy this? Do you think I want to be the monster? She has to learn, Juiro! The world does not care if she is sensitive. The world will eat her alive!"

Minaki looks up, her eyes wide and violet and devastatingly sad. "I... I do not want to be unfeeling, Hitane. If I shut it all out... what is the point? If I cannot feel the world, am I even alive?"

"You are alive if you are breathing," Hitane counters. "Everything else is a luxury."

"No," I say. The word comes out with a force that surprises me. I feel the static around me spike, responding to my anger. "No, Hitane. You are wrong."

I kneel down beside Minaki. I take her hands. They are ice cold.

"Do not build a wall," I say to her. "Do not try to block it out. That is impossible for you. You are the Heart. A heart beats. It lets blood in, and it pushes it out."

I look at her eyes. "Let it flow, Minaki. Do not hold it. Feel Mrs. Tanaka's pain, acknowledge it, and then let it pass through you. You are not a dam. You are a riverbed. Let the water flow over you."

Minaki stares at me. She takes a shaky breath. She closes her eyes.

"A riverbed," she whispers.

"Yes," I say. "It washes over you. It is cold. It is heavy. But it does not stay. It goes downstream."

She breathes in. She breathes out. Her shoulders relax. The frantic rocking stops.

"I can feel it," she murmurs. "The worry. The pain. But... it is moving. It is passing."

She opens her eyes. They are clear. She looks at me, and then at Hitane.

"I am not weak, sister," she says softly. "I just feel differently than you do."

Hitane looks at us, her expression unreadable. She crosses her arms. "Fine. The riverbed. Whatever works. Just... keep it flowing. Do not drown."

She turns and walks away into the trees, but I see the stiffness in her shoulders. She is relieved. And she is lonely. She is the Mind, isolated in her logic, watching the Heart and the Anchor find a way she could not teach.

I help Minaki up. She squeezes my hand. "Thank you, Juiro. You are... you are a good Anchor."

"I am learning," I say.