The Delivery

"Got something for you." The clap of Yoana's envelope nearly sent me flying through the roof. "How'd the date go?"

"Geez!" I pushed the headphones onto my neck. "You're gonna give me a heart attack."

"I'll do better next time. How'd the date go?"

Doesn't the universe have a more interesting topic for the day? I glanced at the envelope as I focused on calming my beating heart. My name featured prominently on the front, but the lack of a return address was odd. "What date?"

"One with... what's his name again? Brant? Bent?"

"Brent." Yoana's toothy grin appeared as the word died from my mouth. Damn it...

"I'd have settled for Butthead, but each to their own."

"That's mean."

"That's how he looks when he's trying to kiss you."

"Please don't get that image stuck in my head," I replied with a sigh. "You and Summi need better things to talk about."

"My mind has a mind of its own, and you're delaying an answer," she said as she leaned against the cubicle wall. "That means the date was a complete waste of time, or you can barely walk straight."

"It was okay. We ate dinner, made some small talk, got a kiss on the cheek, and he took off."

"Waste of time."

"Bit harsh."

"He could have gone for the lips."

"You people are too fascinated with my love life." I shook my head as I spoke.

"You're the interesting one around here," she replied with a shrug. "Steph swore off dating when her last one ran off to Bali, and Ramona's gone through half the town. You're innocent, so interesting."

"Uh-huh. And what about you?"

"You should see the one-eighty turns guys do when you talk about night-time walks through cemeteries as a favorite hobby."

That elicited a laugh. "I can imagine. Never thought of settling down yourself?"

"Only with a guy that brings a picnic basket."

I raised my hands in defeat. "Fine, I'll stop prying if you do."

"Already did." She nudged her head towards the envelope. "That landed on my desk by accident. I don't know who delivers stuff via post anymore, but there you go."

"Thanks. Any idea what it's about? It looks confidential, but I can't think of anyone who would send me one."

"Not a clue." She shrugged again. "No return address, no tracking number. Nothing. Probably spam. Or a letter bomb."

"A letter bomb..." I shot her a dubious glance.

"Which reminds me. Please open this thing close to Dickhead's office. Maybe the blast will take him out as well."

"You do know I'd die as well."

"It's a sacrifice I'm willing to make."

"Har har." I glanced at the computer screen as I rolled my eyes. "Anything else? I'm knee-deep trying to debug something here."

"Don't let me keep you." I inspected the latter as she walked off. That would have to wait. I pushed the letter away before returning my attention to my computer with a flick of my headphones.