You Love Her / I Love Her

The Younger Stanillo did not know where to start, and so he began by telling him about the new campaign at Rostov. Stanillo admitted the campaign was not as easy as he thought, citing Rostov’s military to be superior compared to theirs. At the moment, Belomas’s forces were divided between himself and the Elder Illya, his father. Lately, he had heard from his father’s envoys that the campaign was going well, and it was only a matter of time before they conquered those people.

Currently, Stanillo admitted that he was struggling to close out the campaign against Rostov. He had his hands tied with managing the campaigns abroad, providing Bay and the Elder Illya with the resources and manpower to continue fighting. At the mention of Bay, Illya asked, “Bay, how is he doing? It has been so long since I have seen him.” The Younger Stanillo looked at him, surprised to see him interested in what he was talking about. “He is doing fine, but he has communicated to me about his struggles at Rostov.”

“Oh,” I muttered. On the topic of Rostov, Stanillo took the opportunity to persuade the Younger Illya to return and help him out. If they were to have his help at Rostov, they would be able to put an end to the campaign. The Younger Illya sat there silent, not giving a yes or no. Anyhow, the Younger Stanillo continued to inform him that his father had not learned yet of his disappearance, but it was only a matter of time before word came to him. Stanillo affirmed it would not be him who tells him, but he assures the boy that his father will learn of this one way or another.

“To be honest, I could not care less what my father thinks of me,” I said. “My father has taken away the only thing that I cared for. I have no reason to continue fighting, when I have nothing to fight for anymore. I truly do not feel the urge to fight anymore…” For a moment, the Younger Stanillo took the time to think about how to respond. “Oh, kid, you have no idea of what you are saying. Your father prohibited you from having relations with her, but what makes you think he will not act on what he said when he learns of what you had done? If anything, you are giving your father more of a reason to take action, and also, kid, you could have gone a different way of doing things. You left the village, isolated yourself, but did you not think to test your luck and run away with her?”

The kid went silent. The words of the Younger Stanillo stung, making him feel stupid and incompetent. Anyhow, Stanillo switched topics, taking the opportunity to inform him that his marriage with the Jarl of Stalavat was to continue. Stanillo admitted to pulling some strings with Stalavat, as he was struggling to get a hold of him for the marriage. He may not be the Illya that she wants to marry, but it was his duty to take her hand in marriage for the sake of the village’s future. If he did not want to do it for his father, village, or himself, then he could do it for his mother, who had not stopped asking about him.

The Younger Stanillo scolded the boy, for making his pregnant mother worry about him. If he did not want to return to fighting, he could at least return home for the sake of that woman, who had given him life. The news of his mother being pregnant surprised the boy. He asked,“ Is she with child? For how long has she been with child, Stanillo?” Stanillo was unsure, but he answered, “To be frank, I do not know, kid. I just learned of the news a few months ago.”

“You have done well, my friend,” I said, “You were wise for using my mother’s worry against me in such a manner. It is about time that I explain myself because clearly you have misunderstood me.”

“Misunderstood you, perhaps,” Stanillo replied, “A misunderstanding between people is easy to come by when the other party is unwilling to communicate…”

“Where do I start?” I said, “Perhaps it is best to admit that I am not fit for this lifestyle. I was never fit for this life, and I believe deep down that you and Yarik knew it.”

“I had my doubts, but you proved me wrong in your last battle,” said Stanillo.

“Did I prove you wrong? It is hard to say, friend,” I said, “If anything, it proved that I was capable of fighting for my life, like any other person.”

“Do not sell yourself short, kid,” Stanillo interjected, “You fought confidently and took on the challenge when it came to you. You are worthy of praise, and I will not allow you to tarnish your own name further.”

“To tell you the truth, friend,” I admitted, “I feared the possibility of losing my life, and not being there to protect my mother and brothers. I feared not being able to be there for my child. In battle, I realized that I had much more to lose than I thought. I am just not cut out for this life."

“Your fears are reasonable,” Stanillo added, “I cannot fault you for that.”

“I must also admit,” I said, “that I did not plan to lose myself like that. I believed it to be temporary, but before I knew it, hours turned to days. Days turned to weeks. Weeks turned to months. Being alone out here, may not have been the best way to relieve myself.”

“It was not,” Stanillo agreed, “You could have come to talk with me.”

“I know,” I said, “I just feel too embarrassed to face Coria. I feel ashamed of what I said to her, and I know an apology will not suffice. I turned blue when my father threatened to kill her and our child, if I did not comply with his wishes. I foolishly gave into fear, and sought to be selfish and face it alone."

At the mention of Coria, Stanillo grew silent, but the Younger Illya continued, “I fear her disdain. I fear her disgust. I fear her hate. I hate the idea of running into her, and not being able to keep my head up. I hate the idea of yearning for her, and knowing she will never return my call again. The silence grew, yet the Younger Illya could not have noticed Stanillo's discomfort, as he continued to speak of his lover passionately: “I love her, Stanillo. I do not want to marry another woman, and leave behind the perfect women for me. How could she not be perfect? She will be the first and only woman to make me a father. The joy I feel knowing that she and I will share a child is immeasurable, but most importantly, that this child is an embodiment of our love.

“Oh, how I desire to feel those precious lips once more, and to feel the warmth of her body alongside my own. I dream of waking up every morning alongside her. How marvelous would that be? A dream come true, if I must say so myself. I do not deserve a woman like her, but perhaps if I were to tell her the truth, maybe just maybe she might forgive me,” I said, “To think, I will lose her, and she will find another, for a woman like her, is bound to find a man that will love and cherish her. It hurts me to imagine that my child will call another man his father, like I do. The story continues to repeat itself. I cannot fault my child for calling another man his father, when I can not acknowledge them before the world without facing the repercussions."

Finishing his speech, the Younger Stanillo alas broke silence, saying, he had something to get off his shoulders. “On that day, I witnessed what occurred between you two. She was in tears and I could not find a way to calm her down. I recall hugging her, trying to get her to settle down, in order for her to tell me what had occurred,” the Younger Stanillo said, “She told me of the hurtful things you said to her, and she told me that I would be able to confirm your words. At first, I had no idea what she meant, but she mentioned that you said you were to be married. I told her, it was not a lie. A mistake on my part, I admit. Afterward, she told me the disgusting lies you had said to her.

“I admit, I felt angry seeing her in such a state. It angered me to see you did not have the courage to face adversity, and it angered me further to see such a beautiful woman in tears, for a stupid child that was not worth crying over. I offered her my support out of pity at first, but with time I grew to love her too. I admit it, I enjoy her presence. I admit it, I enjoy her beauty. I admit it, I love her. As of late, I have become ready to take on the responsibility of not just her, but also the child that she bears. My love for her is so great that I am willing to accept everything that comes with her. I accept the adversity, the public outrage, and even your hate, Illya!”

“What I will also admit is that I hated the fact that her heart and mind were stuck thinking about you! He who said what he said, and he who had neither the courage nor the willingness to fight for what was right. I also admit to not wanting to find you, but I had no other choice! If it were up to me, I would have left you out here to rot! However, I could not, and it kills me to have to bring you back, just for you to ruin the effort I have made to win her heart...”

The two went silent for a couple of minutes, each not daring to make eye contact with the other. Eventually, the Younger Illya broke the tension, saying, “You had a lot to get off your chest.” The Younger Stanillo ignored him, trying to not further the conflict. The Younger Illya, on the other hand, continued, saying to him, “If you believe yourself to be worthy of her love, why not fight me for her?” Illya said, "Fine, if you will not start it, I will!" The two stood from where they were seating, each ready to fight the other.

The first to start the fight would be Illya, who sucker punched Stanillo, knocking a tooth out of his mouth. Quickly, the Younger Illya got back into position, taunting him to fight back. Angrily, the Younger Stanillo got back up, charging at the boy and tackling him onto the ground. Once he had him on the ground, he got on top of him and began to beat the breaks out of the kid.

His punches were strong, but not enough to keep the angry Illya on the defensive, as he headbutted the man, who fell onto his back. Dazed by his punches, the Younger Illya crawled over to his rival, who was struggling to get up. As he got to him, Illya got on top of him, grabbing him by his coat. He spat on Stanillo, disgusted at the idea of believing him to be a friend. The boy began to beat the ever living shit out of him, for daring to look in Coria's way. This time, Stanillo did not try to fight back, he laid there tearing up at what his love for Coria had done to him.

The Younger Illya noticed this, and he began to tear up at the glance of seeing Stanillo cry. His punches began to grow weaker, his tears began to blur his vision. He knew it was wrong to do this, but his anger continued to cloud his judgement. He prayed to be stopped, and almost as if his prayers were answered, Iziaslav, his younger brother, pushed him off the Younger Stanillo. The young Izialsav angrily berated his elder brother, saying he had no right to strike his superior like this. The Younger Illya did nothing, but snivel and cover his face, as he did not want his younger brother to see him like this.

The Younger Stanillo quit his crying as soon as he noticed the child had arrived, trying not to embarrass himself further before the child. This led to Iziaslav becoming confused about what was happening between them, but he was happy to see his brother was okay. However, he never thought that he would find the two greatest warriors of Belomas laying on the ground, sniveling like children. If he were to tell his father or mother, they would never believe him. Anyhow, the boy went on to say that he had come to tell Stanillo, that Stalavat had come to the village again, but this time they were accompanied by their Jarl. She was not taking no for an answer, and she demanded his presence at the village immediately. Laying there in defeat, the Younger Stanillo could not help but say, "Just my luck..."