To jump on the wind’s back

Wendy was seated in front of her window. Moments ago she had agreed to becoming a wife. After her « yes », everything had happened in a rush. Aunt Millicent had spurred out of nowhere congratulating the happy couple. Sir Clifford had been so intimidated, he had almost ran away, to her aunt’s dismay. Wendy, under the pretense of a sudden and terrible headache, had taken refuge in her room. She could feel the household buzzing with excitement. Yet her body was rigid, tensed. The opened window was letting in the morning breeze.

As a child, Wendy had dreamed of adventure. Her mind was opening that secret drawer, the one that was tucked deep in her. The one that contained all her desires. Why was she opening it ? She would only suffer by doing so. She knew it. For years she had simply ignored that tiny voice, that begged her to do so. But in this very weird day she opened herself to memory. One wish she had entertained was becoming a famous writer. Well, it had been foolish and her family made it quite clear. Her ever so explicit aunt had crushed that thought as quickly as it had appeared.
With a heavy breath she pushed away the nasty memories. She let herself go.

Imagining being a bird, flying over rooftops, over the grime and fog of the city. She could almost feel the wing caressing her upper arms, feel cushion like clouds on her fingertips. Often she had wondered how the pure air would taste like. Right now at the window, a strange thought took form. Maybe if she got up on the railing, and took a leap of faith she would know. She would fly.

Her hands glazed over the railing, it felt so right. Raising up on the window, she had to hunch a bit. She wasn’t little anymore and the window frame felt very small. Her blue gown was swelling with the wind as she stood tall. The broach, that maintained her hair, caught in the window frame and fell silently . Her hair flew around her, heavy locks in front of her eyes. Hands on the frames, she looked up. Pure white clouds were waiting for her. Bending slightly more, tempting winds rose.

« Wendy !» a shout shattered her thoughts. Micheal’s scream pulled her brutally to reality. Breathless she stumbled back inside. « For God’s sake ! What were you doing ? » he said helping her to a seat. « Our dear aunt told me you’re engaged apparently. Thank God I entered just now… » he did look worried, she was still feeling numb. The cold finally seemed to hit her, shivering she gripped her brother’s arm. Micheal noticed her shivering, knelt in front of her. Getting her lock out of the way, he stared her down. She was awfully pale. « You’re freezing, let me get you a shawl. » he made to get up, but she remained anchored to him. « Don’t leave me » she whispered. « Why never old sister, you’re stuck with this one for life ! » He replied with a slight smirk that earned him a small smile. She seemed to comeback to herself slowly. « Are you ready to explain what you were doing at the window ? » Avoiding his gaze, she struggled to form a sentence. Would he judge her ? Think her completely mad ? She took a hard look at his face. Even now, looking all grown up, she could still see his younger self. The cute, tender toddler that had been her joy. No, she decided, Micheal would not judge her. « I was thinking of flying away. » she finally answered. Clearing her throat, she hugged herself tighter.

Micheal didn’t say anything for awhile. « Is it the engagement ? Wendy you don’t have to go through with it. I know you act as if it’s barely an inconvenience. But you don’t have to sacrifice yourself. I’m here, I’ll support you. »
She contemplated his hair, some locks looked like gold. Such a beautiful sun he was. Her brave Micheal. « I’ll go through with it, you know I have to… » She straightened once more. With a reassuring smile she got to her feet. « I bet mother and father will soon come to congratulate me, let us go meet them. » she said wrapping her shawl against herself. « If any of us could remember how to fly, it would be you. »

Her head snapped back to him. What was he saying ? « What do you mean ? » He somberly walked past her. « Nothing… I should not have said that, shouldn’t you close the window ? You’ll catch a cold. » he said gesturing to the wide open window. « Don’t close it, please. »

As brother and sister made their way to the sitting room, a small fairy flew out of the room. Tinkerbell had seen enough. Peter had sent her to « make sure Wendy was alright » the day before. Well the correct way to put it was that he had ordered her to do so. She had to put up with his every tantrum even more since their return to London. She didn’t resent Wendy really. She had made Peter go through this strange and perturbing ordeal of growing up. And that had been a trial like no other. Yes her Peter had always been unpredictable. But those last years had been the worst headache. Her quite small and cute head could take no more of it. Any other fairy would have abandoned his sorry behind. Her friends in Pixie hollow frequently asked her why, oh, why was she sticking around his sorry petunia. Well something she rarely disclosed was the reason of such loyalty. It did look unwarranted, especially while Peter was barking orders around. The stupid woman had put him in a frenzy.

It was said amongst her peers that a fairy was born on a babe’s first laugh. That laughter defined a pixie. Never before had a fairy brought a human to their land. Tinkerbell did the unimaginable. She had taken a boy to Neverland. Her fate was tied to his. She suspected the star had pushed her towards him for a specific reason. Because his was the laughter that birthed her. Of course she would never voice it. The pompous idiot would take it as a compliment.

Many times she had asked him, why not just take Wendy back and be done with it. Every time he had a valid and sound reason to not do so. He would not kidnap her. She had to chose. Nonsense and poppycock to all. Now the damn woman was engaged, she would never hear the end of it ! It was too early in the day for moody Peter Pan. He surely was going to lose it, once she’d tell him about the engagement. One thing was puzzling. When Wendy had stood about the window, Tinkerbell had been sure she would fly. She had never seen an adult perform it without pixie dust. Even if Peter now qualified as an adult, he was a special case. His magic was partly linked to hers. He would always sore to the skies. Wendy had no such promise. And yet she had almost launched. Of that she was certain. She had stayed close, ready to lend her pixie dust.

But the tall Darling had stopped any flight to take place. Micheal Darling had changed drastically. Tink remembered a bright toddler, that barely needed any happy thoughts to levitate. Well he was no longer a toddler that one was clear. Although she would rather enjoy looking at those striking features, she had a pissed off Peter Pan to take care of.

Peter had taken residence inside of Big Ben clock tower. Which had been rather pretentious by Tink’s own assessment. Peter had opposed sound arguments again, saying that it had every great advantage. Perfect lookout and perfect departing point. High enough to not attract attention and it’s alcoves where abandoned and rarely any soul had wandered on top of it.

As she flew in the tower, she found him where he usually was, sat in the dark, against a pillar. His brooding spot as Tink called it. Alright, she prepared herself, start by the good news and then drop the other shoe.

Tinkering, she approached him, her own light reflected on his face. « Peter ! I have news of your Wendy » at this he got up promptly. He made her think of a puppy, brightening whenever the name of his mistress was brought up. Really love was a dreadful thing. With a word about his Wendy she could ruin him. « Tell quick Tink ! You’ve come rather late »

Taking a moment to better announce it, she took a deep breath. « Well, this morning she seemed rather emotional, overall she is fine. She did agree to marry the squeaky guy though. And then she tried to jump off her window. But Micheal stopped her. Did you know he has very blue eyes ? » She spilled it all and when she finished she realized all the words had come out so wrong. Peter was fuming « She did what ?! » He said between gritted teeth. « Well I think she got pressured by the old biddy. She looked very unhappy with the engagement. » at that Peter started walking back and forth. « You said something about jumping out ? Was she out of her mind ?! » Anger and concern were a dangerous mix for Peter. « Please stay calm, she didn’t want to jump really, she wanted to fly! I swear I felt the wind raising her up! In any case I would have gave her my pixie dust… » Tinkerbell got distracted catching her reflection on a piece of glass. My, oh my ! Wasn’t she pretty this morning. A bit of shadow under her eyes though. Really Peter was exhausting her. « I have to tell you Peter we do have to act, Wendy is very unhappy » she tingled in front of the glass rearranging her bun.
The one with the pungent unhappiness, was definitely the brooding Peter. « I heard the old bat say the engagement party would take place at the Savoy Hotel in a week » she let slip, side eyeing him.

The memory loss of Wendy had been a terrible set back. Peter had tried meeting her once, a few years back. He had dressed himself as a worker and had crossed her path on the streets. She did not recognize her. At that point, Tink had said that the dirty appearance was to blame for. But recent events had confirmed she had indeed forgotten. It shattered Peter.

Tink had mused a great deal about this. Why would Wendy Darling, one of the most magical children to ever set foot on Neverland, forget it? If anything, this morning’s little performance was proof that Wendy still got it. All magic comes at a price. An old rule, that every magical creature abided by. What price was Peter paying for his bending of them ?