Falling

By the time Wendy is allowed back home, her back is hurting, feet soar from a day spent on them. The fitting had been a tiresome episode, she had to stand there, more mannequin than human. Had to look happy and pleased with her upcoming nuptials. All the while her heart had been racing, thinking about her secret meeting.

The moment shared with Peter replayed endlessly in her head, his embrace strong yet reassuring sending shivers down her spine. She was still grappling with these confounding feelings. How she could still be so angry with him and at the same time…

She was desperate to suppress this unforgiving turmoil, that threatened to break her resolve. And painfully failing at it. Her nuptials were becoming real, her choice loomed over her like a dark shadow.

As she was left alone in her rooms, she found Tink had disappeared. Maybe the fairy had gotten bored and fled to more exciting rooms in the house. She changed into a simple gown, finally free to tend to her bruised neck. They looked worse, even the slightest touch making her hiss in pain.

Night was setting on London and Wendy grows impatient. Her heart is beating loudly, she feels faint. Should she have accepted to meet him ? Was it wise to allow herself such indulgence ? She was after all sworn to. But there was the matter of the shadow that attacked her. Maybe she could still see him to solve this mystery, and do only this. She goes to her bookshelf, as organising it always helped her calm. Rummaging through her books, she comes to a decision. She would not act upon her feelings. She won’t let him get touchy. She most definitely won’t kiss him.

Huffing and puffing as she was, she didn’t notice snow twirling through the window. In fact she was busy muttering under her breath when the air shifted. Magic had a way of happening all of the sudden. Wind lifted silently and he appeared. He had to bend to pass the threshold of the window, making it look smaller. Wendy, caught of guard just stares at him, like he was a figment of her imagination. His tall frame and broad shoulders a stark contrast with what she remembers of him. He doesn’t break the silence either, letting her look at him. It’s like all this time she hadn’t seen him truly. Merging the Peter from her memory to this, grown version of him, into one person.

She approaches slowly, eyes never leaving his. Had she changed his features in her mind ? For his face looks more grave, missing his youthful smile. Before she can stop herself, her hand reaches for his face. Her fingertips graze his skin, tracing his cheek, brushing away a lost lock of unruly hair out of his eyes. She quickly dropped her hand, taking a step back.

" Sorry… I’m not yet used to you looking. " she pauses, his eyes capturing hers again. " Well, grown that is. "

Peter is subjugated. Ten long years he’d waited to see her, truly see her unbound by circumstances. He’d played this meeting in his mind for so long. Countless sleepless nights spent in anxious reverie. Would she be mad at him for abandoning her ? Did she still love him ? They weren’t children anymore, surely her heart had moved on. Yet hope subsided in his fickle heart.

"You can stare and touch all you like. " he mumbles. She jolts back to reality.

"That is not… I don’t want to touch you ! " she exclaims, her cheeks turning a bright red. As she turns her head in embarrassment, he catches a glimpse of her bruised neck.

"Wendy, your neck, can I take a look ? " he asks softly. Wendy backs slightly, the question taking her by surprise.

"If you must…" she answers.

As she exposes her abused neck, Peter’s breath catches in his throat. Tinkerbell’s description of the bruises had been aloof, probably to avoid Peter’s wrath. The imprint of hands resembled a necklace tightly enclosing the base of throat.

"Did anyone see it today ? " he asks, still so close, she feels his breath on her cheek.

" I don’t think so, I tried to hide them under my dress, but I did have to undress during the fittings " she blushes furiously, notions of propriety be damned.

" It’s not a normal bruise… "he continues, somewhat surprised to find the edges of it rippling with power. His fingertips brush against it, his own power pulsating in his hand. Wendy cries out, jumping far form his reach.

"What did you do ? It burns me… " she stumbles forward, the aftermath of the pain making her breath laboured. Before she can fall he catches her, steadying her against him.

" The bruise isn’t ordinary. It repelled my touch. " he frowns in concern. Wendy drops on a chair, still in the throws of pain.
As it eases out, a strange feeling persists like a vice tightly encircling her throat.

"It feels strange. You look concerned, what is it ? " she searches his face for answers. He crouches in front of her, eyes set on hers. Their green a refuge she’d let herself drown in.

"I can’t say for sure, but this isn’t a simple injury. It’s imbued in power. The shadow that did this, what colour were his eyes ? Did you see ? "

Remember it she did, the nightmare was forged deep in her memory. She could still feel the ice like water infiltrating her lungs. In the struggle she had clearly seen eyes as red as blood.

“His eyes were a deep shade of red, of that I am certain.” Her answer seems to cast a gloom on him. Mindlessly his clever hands untangle her hair.

"Something is coming, a darkness unlike any other, is menacing Neverland. That is partly why I had to see you again. " His voice lowers terribly so, making it hard for her to focus.

She scolds herself internally, trying and miserably failing to avert her eyes from his very tempting mouth. Some part of her rational brain understood the main idea.

"Partly ? How so ? " He stares her down, a look that implies she had to have known.

"Do you remember our final battle against Hook ? "

"Yes, I do. " She feels herself blush at the mention. She remembers very well indeed…

"I didn’t understand it at the time maybe because of what I was … I discovered the true nature of what happened later. Wendy, when you gave me your first kiss, you shared your power with me. You gave me victory over Hook. "

He has to brace himself for the next part. He owes her as much. Would words fail him ? Ten years of wondering, pondering on the right thing to do. With all the courage he could muster he continues.

"You didn’t just kiss me, you offered your secret kiss. You tied your powers to mine. You… attached yourself to Neverland. That is why you kept coming back in your dreams. After you left, I tried to distance myself but really I couldn’t forget you, it’s like you were stuck inside my head. And then I saw you. Sleeping in the fern house. So close and yet so far. You remained asleep. In this world, you forgot me. "

The words feel like daggers twisting Wendy’s insides. She can feel his pain searing through his words.

"I’m sorry Peter… " her voice shakes, searching for excuses, but there weren’t any.

"Wendy it’s not your fault. You had to grow. And I had to do the same. You see, for a very long time I forbade myself to evolve. Before becoming Pan, I had a painful life and thought that remaining a boy would grant me eternal happiness. It just brought me eternal emptiness. An abyss that haunted my existence. And you… you were the unexpected. You forced me out of it. "

He pauses, searching for words. Her heart is beating hard in her chest, a thundering rhythm she’s sure he can hear too. What he was saying, the way he was looking at her, it’s confusing her. She realises that all her anger could be drowsed out by a word of this clever man. A calm feeling overwhelms her, she knows what he is trying to say. How could she not know, when her own heart jumps at his every word. Surprising him, she reaches for his hands. Holding them to her, urging him silently to continue.

“Wendy… I’m the one apologising. I pushed you away, I was a selfish child. I wanted you and I hated that. But I’m here because I’m not a child anymore, because I grew up. I thought growing up would help me forget you, or dampen my obsession. But how I feel about you… it just kept growing. I came back every year, dreading to see you in the arms of another. But you never married…”

Peter is feeling sick, anxiety making him shake. How could it be so hard ? Somehow everything was coming out of turn.

“Peter, are you saying that you care for me ?” She tries to put him out of his misery, her eyes crinkled by a large smile.

“Wendy Darling, I love you. I loved you when I didn’t know what love was. Forgive me for saying it too late. But you have to know, there was only you. Even as a child I knew there was only one Wendy for me. ” His voice dies in his throat, he is watching her, trying to decipher her reactions. Surely this is big enough to make a lady faint. Well not this lady. Wendy closes the gap between them, her face impossibly close to his, almost too close. His confused look amuses her.

“You love me." She smirks. “Oh ! The cleverness of you.”

Before he can react her lips meet his, in a gentle touch. For a moment he stays unmoving against her, afraid she’d overstep she pulls away. Like lightening he brings her back to him. Like a wave meeting shore eagerly, his lips claim hers.