How To Live

Back at the onsen inn, Akari sat alone at the table by the window. She tapped the end of a pen against a fresh sheet of paper. The page seemed too white, too open, too empty - as if it expected more from her than she was able to give.

Something I like... Want to do in life...

She wrote a few words slowly.

A long pause.

Some more words.

Another pause.

She bit her lip, crossed things out, rewrote, crumbled the paper and started again.

And again.

And again.

By the time she was done, the moonlight poured in through the window over her and the wads of paper scattered across the floor.

She stared at the paper. It wasn't much. It wasn't grand. But it was something.

She took the paper and hesitantly made her way across the hall to Jun's room.

She knocked quietly. "Jun? Are you still up?"

"Yeah. Come in."

Akari slipped into the room. Jun was sitting at the edge of the room, back against the wall. Hair still damp from the bath, yukata loosely tied around him, book in his lap. 

He closed his book and looked up to her. "What is it?"

Akari knelt beside him and placed the paper between them. "It's not much... But I thought about what you said and I tried to come up with some things I want to do..."

Jun carefully took the page, eyes moving thoughtfully over her writing. He glanced between her and the paper; eyebrow raised after something caught his eye. "You want to learn to cook?"

"What?" Akari flushed. "Don't say it like that."

"I'm not saying anything." A faint grin tugged at the corner of his mouth. "It's just... I've seen you almost burn my kitchen down."

"It was my first time cooking." She whined. "That wasn't my fault."

"Out of your twenty-six years of living... You've never cooked before?" His voice wasn't mocking but genuinely curious.

Her eyes lowered. "I never got the chance to learn or have the time..."

"What do you eat?"

"The agency usually feeds me, or I get by with cup noodles..."

"So, your life goal is to surpass the cooking art of cup noodles?"

She narrowed her eyes. "Oh, why am I even showing you this?" She reached for the paper in his hand, but he pulled it further away.

Jun's face softened. "I'll teach you."

"What?"

"If you want to learn. I'll teach you."

Akari blinked, thrown off by the offer. "You will?"

"I will." The genuineness in his eyes tore through her, as if he wasn't just offering to teach her to cook but offering to stand by her in every uncertain step she wanted to take. "We'll start with something simple and work our way up." 

He looked back at the paper. "What else...? Have a garden?"

She nodded. "I've always liked plants. I'd like to have my own garden and then maybe cook with what I grow..."

Jun smiled softly. "That's cute. It suits you.."

"You think?"

Jun nodded. "I'll teach you to cook. In return, I expect a homemade meal from you someday."

She raised a brow. "You sound confident I won't poison you."

"Oh, I'm terrified." He chuckled lightly. "But I trust you."

He turned to the page again. "Get better at talking to people?" He turned back to Akari, eyebrow arched. "You talk plenty fine with me."

"You don't count." She said a bit too quickly.

"Ouch." He said, pressing a hand to his chest. "That hurts my heart."

She laughed despite herself. "You know what I mean."

"I don't think I do." He leaned in slightly, a teasing glint in his eyes. "Why don't I count?"

She looked away slightly. "You're different... Talking to you is simple..."

"Simple?"

"I don't feel like I have to pretend around you..."

Jun smiled to himself, his voice losing the playful tone it had been carrying. "I'm glad you don't pretend around me. I'm honored that I can see the real you, without your mask."

"You make it sound like the real me is special..."

"It is." He said simply. "You are."

Akari blinked, caught off guard by how casually he said it and how natural it sounded. "I'm really not..."

"You're special to me." Jun's head tilted slightly. "Doesn't that count?"

Her breath hitched. She didn't know how to respond. "Huh?"

Jun's smile softened. "I think the real you is pretty special."

Akari's chest welled at his words. She opened her mouth to say something but then froze.

Jun's hand drifted uncomfortably to his side, pressing lightly against where his wound was. His brows furrowed and his breath lost the steady rhythm it had.

"Jun...?" Akari's voice threaded with concern. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine..." Though his words slurred slightly compared to how he was talking before.

Akari's eyes traveled to the small darkening stain on Jun's yukata. "You're bleeding."

"It's fine. Really."

Akari moved closer to his side, gently moving his yukata to see his wound bleed through the bandages. "Your breathing is off. Your wound is bleeding. You're not healing like you should be. We need to get you help."

He shook his head. "I'll be fine. I just need to change the bandage."

"No. We need to get you to a hospital. Something might be wrong."

His eyes narrowed. "We can't leave here. It's too dangerous."

"It's dangerous if we leave it like this. Please Jun."

"I don't want to put you in danger over this."

"And I don't want you to get worse." She reached for his hand, giving it a squeeze. "Please Jun. Just this once, let me worry about the danger and let me help you."

For a long tense moment, Jun didn't respond. Then he exhaled sharply, partially in pain, partially in defeat. "Okay..."

-

Once they arrived at the hospital, the staff quickly took over. Jun's wound was properly cleaned and closed, and he received antibiotics to prevent infection.

After treatment, Jun lay back against the crisp white sheets of the private hospital room, the pain now dulled by medicine, but his restlessness didn't fade. "We need to leave. We shouldn't be out in the public for long."

Akari sat beside him. "The doctor wants you to stay for observation. Just for the night."

"It's too risky."

Akari nodded in understanding. She adjusted her hood and mask. "I'll talk to the doctor about getting you discharged."

She was gone no more than ten minutes when she returned to the room. 

But what welcomed her wasn't Jun. 

The bed was empty except for a bouquet of painfully familiar white chrysanthemums wrapped with a mocking black ribbon. 

Akari's stomach dropped. "Jun...?"

She slowly approached the bouquet that lay on the bed, it's very existent threatening her.

She reached for the note neatly tucked in between the flowers:

If you want him back alive. Give us what you owe us.

Her hands shook and her chest tightened as she read the note. What have I done...?