Happy Birthday to You

A few days before the new year, Hanabi started a group chat with Sun, Steve, me, and herself to discuss a mission she titled, “Seiji’s Happy Birthday” which would go into effect on January 2nd. She pretty much already had everything planned out; to prepare the food and buy simple decorations to surprise him, but needed help with setting up and distracting Seiji.

I was quick to volunteer with decorating and refused to do anything else. I swear she wanted me or Steve to serve as the distraction, thinking it would be amusing, but even with the threat of her anger, I wouldn’t budge. Sun and Steve were assigned as my supervisor, probably believing I’d mess up somehow, which left Hanabi as the distraction.

She wasn’t happy with these results, but settled on feeling satisfied she will be making the food. Hanabi was still sure to give us all strict instructions with everything. We couldn’t help feeling a little nervous.

January 2nd 2019

Seiji and Ryuuji are at home in the apartment doing their own thing. Often on their days off, it’s quiet like this. It has been nearly 3 months since Ryuuji moved in and there hasn’t been any problems thus far despite literally sharing one room. They have their own designated space and don’t interfere with each other. This is what they agreed on from the start and have both been able to follow through.

As it gets close to 10am, Seiji grabs his jacket to head out and meet Hanabi.

“See ya later.” Seiji says before leaving.

“Have fun on your date or whatever.” Ryuuji waves while still looking at his computer.

Once he hears the front door close, he glances up to see that he is indeed gone. Shortly after, Hanabi sends a message in the chat ‘Mission start!’

Ryuuji opens his school bag to remove the decorations Hanabi gave him. Despite her seeming very excited when he received them, there’s only a stringed happy birthday banner, a few streamers and balloons, a table mat, and confetti poppers.

“She didn’t trust I could do this myself?” Ryuuji complains.

He hears a knock on the door. Ryuuji opens it to see Steve and Sun both carrying food.

“You got here fast.” he says.

“Hana asked us to come over before she left since she was meeting Seiji anyway.” Sun points out.

“I think it was mostly to give us more instructions.” Steve says.

They figure Hanabi wants this to be perfect since Seiji hasn’t had a birthday party with friends before. Any of them were with her own family instead. Since even Seiji was kind enough to surprise Ryuuji on his own birthday, he wanted to return the favor.

The couple only plans to be out for maybe an hour or two, with Hanabi telling Seiji she wants to make him lunch, so the trio waste no time getting things ready.

Sun focuses on setting up the food on the table, trying to remember what Hanabi told her before leaving. Similar to their botched study session, she made bento boxes with rice, egg, chicken, sausage, and vegetables. The cake is also homemade, chocolate with honey buttercream icing. None of them heard of that before and are looking forward to it the most.

Ryuuji and Steve are hanging up the decorations, streamers and the banner. In the middle of doing so, Ryuuji comes to a realization,

“I’m going to have to clean all this up, aren’t I?”

“Maaayyyybee we will stay to help out.” Steve teases.

“You better.” Ryuuji says.

It takes them just over an hour to finish setting everything up. Sun checks the time to see it’s 11:18am. Now they can only wait for the star of the party to return. The trio takes a seat, with Ryuuji on the bed and Sun and Steve on the floor.

“I’m actually surprised you and Seiji haven’t had any issues living together. Especially with how small this place is.” Sun observes.

“Yeah, I remember how much you complained about him before.”

Ryuuji hums as he considers the best way to explain it,

“We actually aren’t home at the same time most days. There are a few dinners here and there, and him forcing me to study,” Ryuuji says with a grumble before continuing, “But I have my job, their ridiculous amount of dates, and keeping my promise with Steve’s dad. There’s a lot to keep me busy.”

Ryuuji would be lying if he said this troubling time was furthest from his mind, but the distractions make it easier to deal with. At least, that’s what he figured until he was proven wrong later that day.

Steve then changes the subject,

“Do you think Hana will mind if I do a little taste test?” he says as he reaches his hand toward the food.

“Yes.” Ryuuji and Sun bluntly say.

Disappointed, Steve pulls his hand back and hangs his head.

Earlier;

As part of the distraction date, the couple stops at a bookstore. Hanabi’s eyes are immediately drawn to a guidebook for Starfight. She heard about it weeks ago, but it was only released recently. Not only is this written and illustrated by a group of fans of the game, it's officially published by Komi Co. She feels both excited and jealous.

“This is so cool! I hope to make something like this one day.”

“Then why don’t you? Even a website similar to MaxwellPippin’s would be popular." Seiji asks.

Hanabi frowns, “I know I’ll have to put a lot of time into it, and with school and the game, I’m afraid it will interfere.”

Although Hanabi doesn’t say it, Seiji knows this has to do with their relationship as well and is surprised she would think that. It’s true they spend a lot of time together, and he always values every moment, but that shouldn’t stop her from doing what she wants. In general he can tell she has many aspirations and he would hate if he got in the way.

“The only things I have are getting good grades and accomplishing feats as Hargrave. I don’t have any big goals, but you’re different. Even if you don’t tell me everything, I can still tell. That’s why…”

Seiji grasps Hanabi’s hand, gently interlocking their fingers, and looks at her with a smile.

“I already decided to support you with whatever you want. Seeing your joy, I don’t need any more than that. So don’t be afraid. I’ll always be with you.”

Hearing that, Hanabi can’t help tearing up. She may feel slightly upset by the situation, but she’s more happy than anything. She wipes the tears with her other hand and complains,

“To say all that when it’s supposed to be your day…it’s not fair.”

“Sorry I didn’t mean to.” Seiji says with a chuckle, “Should we head back? I’m starting to get hungry.”

“Yeah, let’s go.”

During the short walk, Hanabi excitedly mentioned her initial plans for her own Starfight guide. She likes the idea of a website, but needs to make sure it’s distinctively different from others. She wants it to stand above the rest, just like Max’s guild does. Instead of just focusing on quests or player stats, Hanabi wants to put all of her knowledge to good use, inputting as much information as she can, as well as her personal tips from experience.

Seiji listened to her the whole way, only adding that he and Max may be able to help her get it out there,

“And who knows? Maybe this will push you to ‘Legendary Player’ status.” Seiji adds.

“Hmm, that’s not what I’m going for, but it would be a nice bonus.”

Flora Mae is currently only 15 levels away from reaching max. That’s another thing she plans to push forward on in the near future.

When they arrive at his apartment, Seiji is the first to enter and immediately bombarded by ‘Happy Birthday’ cheers and confetti flying from poppers. Steve is sure to create a bigger mess, spreading the confetti all over the table. Seiji doesn’t mind, though. Surprised at first, he smiles.

“So that’s what’s going on. Thanks guys.”

“Did something give it away?” Hanabi asks with slight panic.

“Not at all. I just knew you would put something together for me.” Seiji says.

Hanabi grumbles, “You’re teasing me a lot today. It must be Ryuuji’s fault.”

“Yeah, sure, it’s all my fault”. Ryuuji says with a sigh, “Let’s just eat already.”

Sitting around the table, they waste no time digging in. The meal immediately begins as a free for all, with everyone grabbing what they want from Hanabi’s bento boxes. She often makes the same food every time, but that has no effect on everyone’s interest. If anything, they always look forward to it.

Steve is the first to fill his plate. Staring at the food for hours, he already decided what he wanted most. He holds the plate close to his chest to make sure no one attempts to steal anything and proceeds to stuff his face. No one else has any plans on doing that, Steve is probably the only one who would.

While everyone continues to eat and chat, Ryuuji’s sight suddenly blurs. He blinks a few times and looks down, noticing it return to normal. What was that? He raises his eyes. Despite sitting right beside the table with everyone else, it now seems as if they are further away, chatting like he’s not even there. He opens his mouth, but is unable to speak. He then realizes, Ah, I get it.

He can smile and laugh all he wants, but can’t escape the feeling that he’s stuck in place. Stuck waiting for the moment he can return home rather than move back and forth between two places that belong to other people. None of it is his own, he’s forced to borrow instead.

Work, Starfight, school, weekly dinners or gatherings like this, he may say everything is fine, but it’s not enough to suppress his longing to return home. For the new year, he passed on visiting a shrine with the others, using his job as an excuse. In reality, he felt that praying would be a fruitless endeavor at this point. His hope was already crumbling.

At the start of the year, I had random moments when everything looked blurry as if I was disassociating myself with the world or something like that. Depression is probably the best term, but it felt like I was barely here so I preferred explaining it as such. If anything, I was surprised it didn’t happen before then. I didn’t tell anyone, figuring my joyful façade wasn’t fooling anyone. There was no point in adding more to it. I simply continued living day by day.