Science Genius Girl

Professor Kinboshi looked through the telescope. He clicked his teeth. No. No. No. This was bad. Bad. He looked again, double checked his calculations. Still bad.

He wasn't sure if he should tell the other scientists. What could they do anyway? He remembered something that Professor Baker had told him from his childhood, during the Cold War, a video reel that all students saw telling them that in the case of a nuclear attack, their best defense would be to Duck and Cover.

He thought of how well that would have worked for Hiroshima and Nagasaki. It would have done them no better, beyond making most of their final thoughts of them thinking they were doing the right thing to save themselves. The only thing ducking and covering did is make it easier to kiss your own posterior goodbye.

This wasn't a nuclear attack. This was worse. This was Chicxulub's older brother. This was a giant space rock that wouldn't be satisfied with just destroying a bunch of overgrown chickens. It was on track to completely destroy the overgrown monkeys that survived the first impact.

What could you do? Nothing. Duck and Cover. Get your affairs in order, make peace with whatever higher being you revered or feared, try to accomplish those last few things on your bucket list…

Kinboshi decided it was time for a drink.

He didn't know where the nearest bar was, so instead he went to the Gyokuto Cafe & Mochi. He was always one to drink green tea, but this time, he thought he'd try something different. The barista, whose nametag read GILLIAN served him. She was the bubbly sort, blond and smiling. Through the passthrough to the kitchen, he saw a flickering lightbulb dangling from the ceiling behind her. In many ways, it reminded him of her.

“Surprise me,” he said.

She nodded, then went to work. He watched as she mixed up a drink that looked far more complex than anything he'd seen the chemical boys mix up. She focused on her task like her life depended on it. In the end, she produced a drink with multiple layers, each separated by a physical property known as specific gravity. It looked like a rainbow in a glass. Kinboshi took it and sat in the corner and drank it. It was amazing. Each layer surprised him, and each complemented the next. It was a marvel of mixology. He set his empty cup down and returned to the counter. “Miss,” he said.

Gillian smiled, not recognizing him. “What can I get for you?” she said.

He pointed to the drink he had just finished. “You already got me something, and it was amazing. But tell me, did you make that up yourself?”

She looked at the empty cup, then nodded. “Yes,” she said. “I call it a Rainbow Unicorn.”

“Do you know the level of complex physics needed to perfect such a drink?” Kinboshi asked.

She shook her head. “No,” she said. “It just sort of came to me.”

“Can you come with me?” he said.

She looked back. “I'm here alone,” she said. “The other girl who works here is off. I think her boyfriend got hit by a truck or something. She's visiting him in the hospital.”

Kinboshi frowned.

“When Mr. Hanzo gets here, I can leave,” she said. “Do you need me to make more drinks?”

“No,” he said. “I need you to save the world.”

She nodded. “That sounds fun. I'll be able to help in about an hour.”

He handed her a business card. “Come here as soon as you can and ask for me.”

She took the card. “Oh, you work for the space people,” she said. “That's so exciting.” She tucked the card into her pocket. “I'll come by when Mr. Hanzo gets here.”

Kinboshi nodded, then hurried off. Back at his office, he paced and paced and paced until there was a noticeable wear on the carpet of his office. He was hopeful. Maybe her latent physics genius would apply to other things. Maybe she could save the planet.

After about an hour and half, the receptionist buzzed him. “A girl named Gillian From the Coffee Shop is here to see you.”

“Let her in,” Kinboshi said.

Moments later, Gillian stepped in. She carried a shopping bag from a nearby clothing store. “Sorry I'm a little late,” she said. “They were having a sale, and I just had to buy something.”

“That's fine,” said Kinboshi, though he wasn't sure if his voice did a good job of convincing her that he meant it. “What I'm about to show you is top secret. Currently, I'm the only one who knows about it. You can't tell anybody. Do you understand?”

She nodded.

He tapped some keys on his keyboard, bringing up several images and videos of the new asteroid. She looked at it intently. “Is that a potato?” she said.

“It's an asteroid,” he said. “It's headed toward us. It will almost certainly strike us, and will almost certainly kill us all, except for maybe the cockroaches.”

“Ew,” she said.

“What do you think we should do about it?” he asked, hopeful.

“We usually call the exterminator when we see them,” she said.

“Asteroids?” he said.

“No, silly,” she said. “Cockroaches.”

Kinboshi sighed. Maybe he was wrong about her. “But what should we do about the asteroid?” he said.

“Oh,” she said. Then she laughed. She pointed at a spot on the asteroid. “Hit the big space potato with a carbon spike right here, and it should just fall apart. Most of the pieces will burn up in the sky and make for a really exciting light show. If you can time it right, you can do it during a festival.”

Kinboshi let out a breath. He looked at her suggestion, crunched some numbers in his head. It looked like it might work. He tapped on some keys on the computer, ran a simulation. It did exactly what she had said with a 93.6% certainty.

“You just did that in your head?” he said.

She nodded.

He laughed.

“Did I say something funny?” she said.

The next few days were a rush. Kinboshi gave Gillian a white lab coat, and she stuck her barista nametag on it. People kept calling her Professor Gillian, and she never corrected them. All she did was supervise each step of the process, telling them what to do and how, and also giving them tips on how to make it spectacular.

Then, the moment of truth came. Kinboshi and Gillian stood by the big red button. “Would you like to do the honors?” he said to her. She nodded. After the countdown, she pressed the button, launching Project Rainbow Unicorn into space.

With bated breath, the world waited as the craft shot into space, deployed its carbon spike, and struck the oncoming asteroid precisely where Gillian had said it should go.

Satellite feeds broadcast it all over the world. The spike struck the giant space potato, and it shattered to bits. There was a week of celebration, and on the final day, when the chunks passed through the atmosphere, giving half the world the greatest fireworks show it had ever seen, everybody gave a rousing cheer for Professor Gillian.

Kinboshi, though, wondered if the smiley face pattern in the sky, looking much like a coffee foam pattern a creative barista might make, was just coincidental. Either way, he signed off on the statue of Gillian for the lobby of the museum.

When it was all over, she let out a sigh and patted Kinboshi on the back. “I need to get back to work,” she said. “Mr. Hanzo might fire me if I take too many more days off.” She stopped at the door. “Oh,” she said. She turned. She handed Kinboshi a little card with a hole punched in it. “I forgot to give you this before. Buy ten drinks and the next one is free.” Then she waved, picked up her shopping bag, and stepped out of Kinboshi's office.