Sir Grobhand vs Numakawa

In Buckingham Palace, Scharlachrot let out a sigh as she listened to Bette's report. "So Iori got into the prison, yet none of the guards reported her coming in?"

"And when I stormed outside, the idiots on guard said they thought she had already cleared through the entryway guards, so they let them just walk on by! And there's more! They weren't even standing guard the whole time!"

"Why?"

"Melania requested backup after someone decided to break curfew."

"Who?"

"They said... Sir Grobhand."

Scharlachrot let out a heavy sigh. "And did the squad at least secure him?"

"No... I here he's still galloping around town."

"Contain him immediately! He's got a DESPER, so if he gets challenged, Mimoko and her friends could escape!" 

"Uh, Mimoko's getting dolled up at Sorcha's, right?"

"And if Sir Grobhand barges in and activates his DESPER, you think Mimoko would refuse? She'd kick his petty ass and be off in a minute. Then we're completely screwed!"

Click!

Scharlachrot shook her head and hoped Bette hanging up was a sign she was running out to stop Sir Grobhand, but knowing Bette, there was an even greater chance she just hung up out of frustration. 

...

Mimoko let out a muffle protest as she sat under a dryer with her hair wrapped up in curlers and her face covered in beauty cream.

"Ara, ara. You sound so embarrassed. Don't worry this is all part of the metamorphosis a girl must go through to look beautiful," Sorcha giggled as she turned off the dryer.

She then removed it along with the hairnet covering Mimoko's now orange hair before slowly removing all the rollers. Once that was done, Mimoko blushed in embarrassment as she stared at her now curly orange hair and eyebrows in the mirror. Sorcha then tied up her hair in twintails, making the look somewhat more bearable for Mimoko, but it was still embarrassing nonetheless.

"Ara, ara. And your face looks so shiny too," Sorcha giggled as she peeled the cream mask off Mimoko's face.

Mimoko would have loved to respond to her with an angry quip, but since her mouth was still sealed shut, she couldn't. She assumed the humiliation was at its end, but much to her horror, Sorcha picked up a pair of hair clippers and turned them on. Her makeover was far from over.

"Not so fast!" a voice boomed as the doors to the salon swung open.

To Mimoko's surprise, it was Numakawa.

"Ara, that uniform... Just like Iori's. Seems some of your friends really came to save you," Sorcha chuckled as she prepared to face Numakawa.

"Ah, you're the one in charge, yes? In the name of science, shave off all my hair!"

"Heh?"

Mimoko tried her best to protest, but Sorcha decided to take advantage of the situation and invited Numakawa in. Within 5 minutes, Numakawa was shaved and encased in hot wax.

"Ara, ara, listen to his muffled moans. Problem is men have never aroused me. But since more of your friends are here, I should phone a friend to help give me, more time with you," Sorcha giggled as she whipped out her phone.

Once her text was done, she unwaxed Numakawa, revealing his now hairless self.

"Flawless! Now I just need to find one of those devices so I can get a big brain," Numakawa huffed as Sorcha allowed him to leave without issue.

Mimoko let loose a series of muffled cries, trying to make him return, but Numakawa didn't recognize her.

"And that is what we call strategy. Seems he didn't recognize you. Now just to be safe, my friend should be confronting him, any second..."

...

As Numakawa proudly walked away from the salon, he soon encountered a man garbed head to toe in armor galloping atop a toy horse towards him.

"Oh I am great Sir Grobhand, knight of Grob who plays the Grob. I play the Grob and slay the mobs. Never stood a chance against my Grob. Great Sir Grobhand slays grandmasters. The Desperado's knight of Grob, he plays the Borg when stuck as black, and unable to play a Double Grob. Great Sir Grobhand, slays grandmasters. A chivalrous battle to death; man, woman, or child, it matters not, I'll fight to the death. Great Sir Grobhand, slays grandmasters. The unstoppable Grob cannot be stopped for it is chess' great killer move. Great Sir Grobhand slays grandmasters-"

"Hoh? You know of it too?" Numakawa asked.

"A hairless nerd? I've never seen one before!" Sir Grobhand gasped as he laid eyes on Numakawa.

"You can see my big brain much easier now, yes?" Numakawa smirked.

"A big brain? Never had one. They said they didn't want me gallivanting around, even though my domain lies hither. Yet the fools fail to realize... NO CURFEW CAN HOLD SIR GROBHAND OF GROB!" Sir Grobhand declared as he activated his DESPER.

A model castle sprung up as the area turned into a jousting ring.

"Now, should ye lose, ye shall be given death at the hands of the axe," Sir Grobhand stated.

"And should I win, my brain will naturally enlarge to "big brain" status," Numakawa smirked.

"So be it. Now- Ugh, you are to make the first move."

"Behold! The unmatched power of my intellect!" Numakawa declared as he moved his pawn to g4.

Sir Grobhand laughed and countered by moving his pawn to g5. "So ye are a worthy opponent, but now the duel truly begins."

"You've fallen for it! Now you will fall before the unstoppable Coca-Cola Gambit!" Numakawa declared as he moved his pawn to f4.

"No, I counter it!" Sir Grobhand exclaimed as he moved his pawn to f5.

"A common blunder, now I take," Numakawa smirked as he captured the pawn on f5 with his g-pawn.

"Likewise," Sir Grobhand chuckled as he captured the pawn on f4 with his g-pawn.

"And now I achieve dominance," Numakawa declared as he moved his pawn to e4.

Sir Grobhand began to shake his head. "I just en passant. Nothing you can do," he scoffed as he performed en passant and captured the pawn on e4.

Numakawa immediately burst in to confident laughter. "The en passant was a common trap of the Coca-Cola Gambit, and you fell for it! Checkmate!" he declared as he moved his queen to h5, winning the game.

Sir Grobhand immediately went pale with horror, though his knight helmet made it difficult to notice. "NO! I'm the master of the Grob! I can't lose like this!"

"Oh, but you did, for you lost to a Grob," Numakawa boasted as his head suddenly began to enlarge.

Within seconds, Numakawa now looked like a spitting image of the "big brain" meme. The only catch was that it was just looks. He hadn't gained a single brain cell from this transformation. 

"Of course, only a Grob can beat a Grob. You are a worthy adversary," Sir Grobhand smiled.

"Well that was cringe," Medeucesa snarled as she suddenly appeared before the two.

"Nay! It was battle!"

"No, it was stupid. You have a DESPER, but instead of using it to warp away to your domain, you used it to just summon a pocket dimension for the match. And you, "big brain", why didn't you make the prize for winning going back home to Japan, or putting some hair on that fleshy scalp of yours? Idiots."

Numakawa and Sir Grobhand stood in silence. Perhaps as a coping mechanism, both stopped thinking and entered a hibernated state. 

"Anyway, I'll make this quick," Medeucesa snarled as she hogtied Sir Grobhand before he could react. "As for you, nerd, how about we play 3-check?" she grumbled as the arbiter squad appeared. 

3-check was a chess variant where all it took to win was to either deliver a check 3 times to the enemy king, or checkmate before that could happen.

"Just 3 checks? You're underestimating me," Numakawa smirked as Medeucesa opened by moving her pawn to e4.

"Save it until AFTER the mate."

Numakawa smirked and adjusted his glasses as he moved his pawn to e5, prompting Medeucesa to move her knight to f3.

Next, Medeucesa captured the pawn at e5 with her knight while Numakawa captured the pawn at e4 with his knight. With a gleeful grin, Medeucesa captured the pawn at f7 with her knight, and most shocking of all, Numakwa responded perfectly, moving his queen to e7.

"How do you like that? I calculate this position is completely dominating for me."

"Yeah, if this was normal chess that is. Check," Medeucesa snickered as she moved her knight to d6.

While Numakawa had forgotten this was 3-check, he actually did have a huge advantage. For if he captured the knight at d6 with his knight, he could also deliver a check, and have a better position to boot. But instead, he went full Numakawa and captured the knight at d6 with his c-pawn instead.

This allowed another check in the form of queen h5. Now there were only three possible moves Numakawa could make, though none mattered as he would lose anyway. He didn't know this and moved his pawn to g6, and was delighted that Medeucesa gleefully captured it with her queen. Until...

"Checkmate. That's three checks. Off to prison, egghead."

Medeucesa won the game.

"I- Impossible."

And with that, Numakawa and Sir Grobhand were hauled off to prison by the arbiter squad. 

Medeucesa shook her head and turned in the direction of the salon. "And Sorcha let that guy in. If he recognized Mimoko in there, everyone will swarm the place once he tells them the fact. Better do the prisoner transport- Hmm?" Medeucesa paused as she noticed two girls peering into one of the salon's windows. "Those two! What are they- Wait, are they filming!? Uh, maybe I should just wait for them to finish up," she thought as she nervously began shuffling towards them. 

The full games:

White: Syouma Numakawa (400) Black: Sir Grobhand (1975)

1. g4 g5

2. f4 f5

3. gxf5 gxf4

4. e4 fxe3

5. Qh5#

White: Medeucesa Indikó (2406) Black: Syouma Numakawa (400)

1. e4 e5

2. Nf3 Nf6

3. Nxe5 Nxe4

4. Nxf7 Qe7

5. Nd6+ cxd6

6. Qh5+ g6

7. Qxg6#