The Language of Stillness And Suffering

Stillness became Miu’s insufferable reality.

In the days and weeks that followed her agreement to live and stay with the Arcans, all that greeted her was a slow, steady existence. Whereas she had been promised tutelage for her abilities and had promised to help the Arcans with their understanding of their imprisonment, all she received afterwards was silence and stifling tranquility.

Explosions had returned to their muted, nearly unnoticeable levels, leaving Miu in a glowing, pulsing, crystal tower with nothing but her own exhaustion and emotional degradation. Every second of isolation and quiet let the gnawing hatred in her heart sprout more roots to burrow further into her spirit and strangle any remaining glimmers of kindness she’d once had.

A gnawing, painful emptiness had settled into her stomach and limbs. Water was readily available, and the tower seemed to give her body energy and nutrients so that she was somehow never hungry or wasting. It was as though the very structure itself was keeping Miu alive. Within its pulsing, translucent caverns and angled walkways, she was nourished and provided for. But that didn’t stop the weight of rage from crushing her into a near comatose state. If she wasn’t cultivating some manner of hateful destruction, then she simply dissociated into a stupor of vacuous sadness.

That was how I’ah found her after two weeks of living within the walls of the Arcan lair. She had yet to accept any form of lightweave covering from them, so she was still exposed and pale as she lay balled on the stone floor. Even more color had left her skin and her eyes were turning grey once more. Every fiber of her being seemed on edge, yet she was still.

“Are you meditating?” I’ah dared to ask as it approached from behind.

The voice echoing in her head still caused Miu to flinch in fear, sending her legs against her chest and her hair over her face.

“Please get out of my head. I do not like that,” Miu croaked from the floor.

“That is how we communicate. To one another, and to your kind. What else would you have me do?” I’ah calmly asked.

A frustrated sigh escaped Miu’s nose as she measured her words and decision.

“I don’t care at this point. I thought you were going to train me if I agreed to help you,” Miu said softly.

“This is training. You are settling. Rock does not move at the whims of the winds or water. It is still, steady, and eternal. That is how we are, and how we were in our realm. If you are to understand us and truly understand your connection to your shard, you must also be still.”

Veins and tendons rose as Miu’s hands tensed at the continued voice in her mind as well as what it was saying. This was not what she envisioned, and now she was debating if it was worth it. She did not desire stillness, she desired oblivion and chaos. For herself, and for everyone else. In her heart, she knew she still craved death’s cold embrace, but not before she had inflicted some form of equal suffering onto anyone or anything that had led to the life she and Yuki had endured.

I’ah’s tendrils of light spooled beside her as it descended nearby.

“Is this crystal not cold or uncomfortable for you?” I’ah asked.

Miu’s shoulder shrugged.

“I’m used to being uncomfortable…”

“But your clothing… We can dress you. I promise you, it will not bind to you like the shard in your eye. That was… an unfortunate accident of pure circumstance.”

Miu’s cold fingertips raised to touch her invasive eye accessory, which was softly radiating an almost comforting hum as it lay inches from the floor. Embarrassment and chills made their way into Miu’s thoughts and she finally accepted that she was slightly humiliated laying there naked all these days, even if it was her choice. Though she had consistently denied the offers for lightweave and had never felt any obscene observations from her captors, it was still very strange to be fully physically vulnerable.

Arms folded to cross over her chest and knees folded over the other to hide her most sacred skin and she finally accepted.

A subtle nod told I’ah she was willing to be dressed.

“I will stop at any point if you change your mind,” it replied as it rose.

All Miu could do was ball up into as tight of a coil as possible so that she could shield and hold herself. Whatever was coming, she braced that it would trigger some manner of traumatic response or unintended agony after all of the hardship that had been wrought by her eye.

Shaking breaths spread moisture across the deep blue crystal flooring as Miu closed her eyes as tightly as possible and prepared herself.

“I… I’m ready…” she whispered.

“It is already done…” I’ah calmly responded.

Miu tensed and opened her eyes to see that I’ah was telling the truth. Instead of pale, vulnerable skin, Miu now looked at her body and saw thousands of tiny strands of soft, yellow-white light stitched across her chest, arms, hips, legs, and feet. It was warm, soft to the touch, sturdy yet pliable, and pulsing with ambient light.

A soft gasp left her lips as trembling fingers rubbed along the weaving.

“It.. it didn’t… it didn’t hurt me…” she whimpered as her tears broke through.

The familiar pain of the shard cutting into her eye sent a sneer and growl of frustration out as Miu’s hand raised to her face. I’ah silently observed her.

“In time, we can help you smooth over that abrasion. But for now, it is time to be still once more.”

With that, I’ah left Miu alone once more. As she held her face and allowed her tears of grief and confusion to flow, she found herself quietly appreciating the warm sensation now drifting across her wounded body and across her broken spirit.

In time, Miu left her confinement and dared to explore the strange place she now existed within.

As she walked through the alien space, she noticed that flames seemingly pulsed within all of the crystal. It was drastically more ‘alive’ than any of the shards in the regular world, and felt a physical pull to every facet and fissure.

Most of the Arcans didn’t seem to move. On her fourth day of exploring, Miu realized that several of them were still in the exact same spot as where she had originally seen them. Time did not seem to move with any haste within these walls, and Miu began to wonder if the eternality of her hosts would mean that her journey would take much longer than she expected.

Weeks passed, and Miu eventually found I’ah again, bobbing silently in a darkened corner as arcs of purple energy danced from the walls and onto its clear exterior.

“I want to do something. I’m tired of sitting around. I don’t care if that’s what eternal rocks do. I am an impermanent human and I want you to train me like we agreed!” Miu demanded as she approached.

I’ah remained silent. The only sign that it had even heard Miu was a single glowing tendril rising and beckoning her forth to join the massive being in the arcs.

Miu stepped to the spot beside I’ah and looked up in waiting.

“If you insist,” was all I’ah replied.

Arcs of light jumped from the wall and touched Miu’s eye. Something beyond pain or relief scorched every cell in her body as her mind was ripped from its earthly tether. Miu tried to scream but the sensation was over before her muscles could even force an audible reaction.

When Miu’s eyes opened, she was no longer in the sanctuary of the Arcan fortress. She stood in an ever-expanding void of light and formless weight. Clouds were above and below her. The glassy ground reflected all except her. Pale grey light shone from unseen suns that seemed to be stuck choosing between dusk and dawn.

I’ah was before her, glowing neon red as it extended to its full size.

“If you wish to begin your training without stillness, so be it. That will be your own burden to bear.”

“Where are we?” Miu asked as she steadied her legs.

“The Aether. The realm between yours and ours. Your scientists call it quantum. Here, time does not exist. There is neither eternity nor oblivion, only now. Here, you will truly awaken your connection to the shard. If you survive…”