Jealousy and Insecurity hu

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June arrived with humid heat and the slow unraveling of certainty.
Finals were over. Summer had begun. Airi started her research position, working full-time in Professor Nakamura's lab. Ren was doing clinical rotations at various veterinary practices around Kyoto.
They were both exhausted. Both overwhelmed. Both stretched too thin.
And they were starting to feel it.
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## 📸 The Instagram Post
It started with something small. Insignificant, really.
Airi was scrolling through Instagram during her lunch break when she saw it—a photo posted by someone named Yamamoto Yuki. A girl Airi vaguely remembered Ren mentioning. His anatomy classmate.
The photo showed a group of veterinary students at a beach. And there, in the center, was Ren. Wet hair, bright smile, arm casually draped around Yuki's shoulders as they laughed at something off-camera.
The caption: *"Beach day with the best study group! 🌊☀️ @kurosawa.ren you're the worst at volleyball but we love you anyway 😂"*
Airi stared at the photo for a long time. Ren had mentioned going to the beach with classmates. But he hadn't mentioned it was a small group. Or that Yuki would be there. Or that they looked so... comfortable together.
She knew she was being irrational. They were just friends. Just classmates. The photo meant nothing.
But it had been two weeks since she'd seen Ren. Two weeks of short phone calls and exhausted "I love yous" and the constant ache of missing him.
And this girl got to spend a whole day with him. Got to see his smile in person. Got to exist in his world while Airi was stuck four hours away.
She called Ren that night, trying to keep her voice casual.
"How was the beach?"
"Good! Really needed the break. The clinical rotation is brutal." He yawned. "How was your day?"
"Fine. Busy." She paused. "I saw Yuki's Instagram post."
"Oh yeah? She takes a million photos. Surprised she actually posted one."
"You two looked close."
"Hm? Oh, the group photo? Yeah, we're all pretty close now. Study together constantly."
"She had her arm around you."
"Did she? I don't remember. There were like ten of us crammed together for the photo." He sounded genuinely confused. "Why? Is something wrong?"
"No. Nothing's wrong."
"Airi—"
"I'm just tired. Long day. I should go."
"Wait, are you upset about the photo?"
"No. I said I'm fine."
"You don't sound fine."
"Ren, I'm exhausted. Can we not do this right now?"
"Do what? I'm just trying to understand—"
"I'll talk to you tomorrow. Goodnight."
She hung up before he could respond. Then immediately felt guilty. But she was too tired and too irrationally jealous to deal with it tonight.
Her phone buzzed multiple times. She ignored it.
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## 💔 The Fight
The next day, Ren called during his lunch break. Airi was in the middle of data analysis and let it go to voicemail. He called again an hour later. She was in a meeting.
By the time she called him back that evening, he sounded frustrated.
"You've been avoiding me."
"I've been working."
"All day? You couldn't find five minutes to text?"
"You're one to talk. Last week you didn't call for two days."
"I was doing a 48-hour clinical rotation! I told you about that!"
"And I'm doing full-time research! We're both busy, Ren!"
"This isn't about being busy. This is about that photo. You're upset."
"I'm not—" She stopped, took a breath. "Fine. Yes. I'm upset. Happy?"
"No! I'm not happy! I'm confused! It was just a beach day with friends!"
"Friends that I don't know. That get to spend all day with you while I'm here, four hours away, barely getting ten minutes of your time!"
"That's not fair. I give you all the time I can."
"All the time you can isn't enough!" The words came out sharper than she intended. "It's never enough. I miss you constantly and you're off having beach days and study sessions and a whole life that I'm not part of!"
"What do you want me to do? Not have friends? Not have a life?"
"I want you to understand that it's hard watching you live your life without me! To see photos of you laughing and happy with other people when I can barely get you to stay on the phone for twenty minutes!"
"So I'm not allowed to be happy? I'm supposed to be miserable because we're apart?"
"That's not what I—" She stopped, feeling tears build. "I don't know what I want. I just know this is hard and I feel like I'm losing you."
Ren's voice softened. "You're not losing me."
"It feels like I am. You have this whole world there—friends, experiences, inside jokes I'm not part of. And I have my world here. And those worlds keep getting bigger and more separate and..." Her voice broke. "What if there's no room for us anymore?"
"Airi—"
"I have to go. I have a meeting."
"You don't have a meeting at 9 PM."
"I do. Research participants evening interviews."
"Airi, please don't run away from this conversation."
"I'm not running. I'm working. Like you're always working. Like we're both always working and never actually together."
"That's not fair—"
"Nothing about this is fair. I'll talk to you later."
She hung up. This time, when her phone buzzed with texts, she turned it off completely.
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## 🌧️ The Breaking Point
The next day, Airi threw herself into work, trying not to think about Ren, about the fight, about the growing distance between them.
But that afternoon, Saki confronted her in their dorm room.
"Okay, what's wrong? You look like you haven't slept in days."
"I'm fine."
"You're not fine. You've been crying. Your phone's been off all day. And you've been avoiding everyone." Saki sat beside her. "Talk to me."
So Airi told her everything. The photo. The jealousy. The fight. The fear that they were slowly becoming strangers.
"Do you think he's cheating?" Saki asked gently.
"No. He's not— that's not who he is."
"Then what are you afraid of?"
"I'm afraid that we're both so busy building our separate lives that we're forgetting how to build a life together. I'm afraid that the distance is winning." Tears streamed down her face. "I'm afraid that three years from now, when we're finally in the same city, we won't know each other anymore."
"Have you told him this?"
"I tried. We just fought."
"Try again. But Airi?" Saki squeezed her hand. "You need to figure out what you want. Because you can't keep doing this—being miserable, picking fights, pushing him away. Either you trust him and commit to making this work, or you admit it's too hard and let go."
"I don't want to let go."
"Then stop acting like you do."
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## 📱 The Apology
That night, Airi turned on her phone. Seventeen missed calls. Thirty-two texts. The most recent from an hour ago:
**Ren**: *please talk to me. im worried about you*
**Ren**: *im sorry for whatever i did. just please let me know youre okay*
**Ren**: *i love you. even when were fighting. especially when were fighting*
She called him. He answered on the first ring.
"Airi. Thank god."
"I'm sorry. For hanging up. For picking a fight. For being irrational about a stupid photo."
"No, I'm sorry. I should have been more sensitive. Should have understood why that would bother you."
"It's not your fault I'm insecure."
"You're not insecure. You're lonely. There's a difference." His voice was gentle. "And I haven't been making it easier. I've been so focused on my work that I haven't been present for you."
"We're both doing that. Both so busy building our futures that we're neglecting our present."
"So what do we do?"
"I don't know." She took a shaky breath. "Ren, I need to ask you something. And I need you to be honest."
"Anything."
"Do you ever wonder if this is worth it? If we're sacrificing too much for a future that might not happen?"
Silence. Then: "Sometimes. Yeah. Sometimes I wonder."
The honesty hurt, but it was also a relief.
"Me too," she admitted. "Sometimes I think it would be easier to just... let go. To admit that distance is too hard and we tried our best."
"Is that what you want?"
"No. But Ren, I can't keep doing this. The jealousy, the fighting, the constant feeling like I'm losing you. It's breaking me."
"What do you need from me?"
"I need to feel like I'm still part of your life. Not just someone you call at night because you have to. I need to feel like I matter as much as your work, your friends, your new life there."
"You do matter. You matter more than anything."
"Then show me. Not just with words, but with actions."
"Okay. Tell me how."
They talked for three hours. Really talked. About their fears, their needs, their breaking points. About what was working and what wasn't. About how to adjust, how to do better, how to make this sustainable.
By the end, they had a new plan. Modifications to their original agreement:
1. One long video call per week (minimum two hours, no distractions)2. Monthly visits, no exceptions unless absolutely unavoidable3. Share photos daily—not just updates, but moments. Make each other feel included.4. When one person meets new friends, introduce them virtually. No more separate worlds.5. Annual "state of the relationship" check-in—honest assessment of whether this is still working.
"We're going to make it," Ren said. "I know we are."
"How can you be sure?"
"Because we're fighting for it. We're not giving up when it gets hard. We're adjusting, adapting, growing." He paused. "And because I can't imagine my life without you in it."
"I can't imagine mine without you either."
"Then we figure it out. Together."
"Together," she echoed.
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## 💕 The Reconciliation
Two days later, Ren showed up at Airi's dorm unannounced.
"What are you doing here?" she asked, shocked.
"Monthly visit. No exceptions, remember?" He pulled her into a hug. "I switched my clinical schedule around. I have the whole weekend."
"You didn't have to—"
"Yes, I did. You said you needed me to show you, not just tell you. So I'm showing you." He kissed her forehead. "You're more important than my schedule."
They spent the weekend reconnecting. Not just physically, but emotionally. Talking through everything they'd been holding back. Meeting Airi's lab colleagues, video calling Ren's study group so Airi could put faces to names.
On Sunday evening, as they sat on a bench in a small park near campus, Ren pulled out his phone.
"There's something I need to show you."
He opened Instagram and navigated to his messages. A conversation with Yuki.
**Yuki**: *hey, i know youre dating someone long distance. just wanted to be clear that im not interested in anything more than friendship. i know beach photos can look weird out of context*
**Ren**: *i appreciate that. airi and i are solid but distance is hard. thanks for being cool about it*
**Yuki**: *of course. bring her to the next beach day! id love to meet her*
Airi felt tears prick her eyes. "You talked to her about us?"
"Of course. After you mentioned the photo, I realized I hadn't been clear about boundaries. So I clarified them." He showed her more messages—conversations where he'd mentioned Airi, talked about their relationship, made it clear he wasn't available.
"You didn't have to do that."
"Yes, I did. You needed to feel secure. And I needed to make sure everyone in my life knows how much you mean to me." He took her hands. "Airi, you're not just my girlfriend. You're my partner. My future. The person I'm building everything for. And everyone in my life should know that."
"I love you so much."
"I love you too. And I'm sorry I made you doubt that."
"We both made mistakes."
"Then we both do better."
"Deal."
They kissed as the sun set, and for the first time in weeks, Airi felt the tightness in her chest ease. They weren't perfect. Their relationship wasn't perfect. But it was real, and it was worth fighting for.
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## 📔 Journal Entry
*Dear Future Me,*
*We almost broke.*
*Not from lack of love. From exhaustion and jealousy and the slow erosion of distance.*
*I picked a fight over a photo. He defended himself. We both said things we didn't mean and felt things we didn't want to feel.*
*But then we did something that changed everything: we stopped fighting against each other and started fighting together. Against the distance. Against the doubt. Against the fear.*
*We made new rules. Better boundaries. Clearer communication.*
*And Ren showed up. Literally showed up, rearranged his whole schedule, just to prove I matter.*
*That's love. Not the easy Instagram-perfect kind. But the hard, choose-you-every-day, fight-through-the-doubt kind.*
*Two years left. Twenty-four months. We can do twenty-four months.*
*Especially now that we know the enemy isn't each other. It's the distance. And we're fighting it together.*
*Love,**Present Airi (bruised but not broken)*

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