Chapter 6:
I Joined a Guild and They're All Worse Than Me
Game Over?!....I just .... Respawn again!!!
#
The recruitment started at breakfast.
I was peacefully eating what the game claimed was "Bread of Questionable Nutrition" (+5 HP, -2 Taste, May Cause Regret) when a player wearing nothing but underwear and confidence slammed both hands on my table.
"YOU!" he declared, pointing at me with the intensity of someone who'd found religion in a broken video game. "You're Kazuki! The Chicken Tamer! The Slime Husband! The Bug Exploiter!"
"That last one sounds bad when you say it like that," I muttered.
"It's GLORIOUS!" He was practically vibrating with enthusiasm. "I'm Gary. Gary the Unclothed. Leader of the Naked Guild. And I want YOU to join us!"
Haruka, sitting across from me, immediately stood up. "I'm going literally anywhere else."
"DON'T LEAVE ME!" I hissed.
"You married a slime without my help. You can handle a naked man without my help." She walked away, taking her coffee with her.
Traitor.
Gary sat down uninvited, his lack of pants somehow making him more intimidating. "Look, Kazuki. I've been watching you. You spawned naked. You died multiple times. You clicked things you shouldn't have. You're a NATURAL Naked Guild member!"
"I have pants now," I said defensively.
"PANTS ARE A PRISON!" Gary shouted, drawing attention from nearby tables. "The devs gave us pants to CONTROL us! To make us CONFORM! But we—" he gestured dramatically to himself, "—have transcended! We are FREE!"
"You're also freezing in winter zones."
"FREEDOM ISN'T COMFORTABLE!"
PatchNotes appeared:
> "Guild Recruitment Detected: The Naked Guild"> "Benefits: None"> "Drawbacks: Everything"> "Recommendation: Decline and run"
"I appreciate the offer," I said carefully, "but I'm kind of attached to my pants now. Emotionally. They've been through a lot."
Gary leaned in conspiratorially. "Between you and me? The guild has been struggling. We've lost seventeen members this month."
"To what?"
"Cold damage. Thorn bushes. Embarrassment-based psychic attacks. A dragon that specifically targets unarmored players." He sighed. "We need someone like you. Someone who survives through pure luck and bug exploitation. You could teach us your ways!"
"My ways are just clicking things and hoping I don't die."
"EXACTLY! That's advanced tactics!"
Before I could refuse again, another player approached—this one actually wearing armor. Full plate armor. So much armor she clanked when she walked. Her username was **TankGoddess_Lv18**.
"Gary, stop harassing new players," she said, her voice muffled through her helmet.
"I'm RECRUITING!"
"You're scaring them." She turned to me. "Ignore him. Join a REAL guild. The Iron Vanguard. We actually wear equipment and have survival rates above ten percent."
"Our survival rate is TWELVE percent!" Gary protested.
"That's not the flex you think it is."
A third player appeared—a mage in star-covered robes, username **StardustDreamer_Lv14**. "BOTH your guilds are corporate sellouts! Join the Cosmic Collective! We believe this game is a MESSAGE from HIGHER BEINGS!"
"Oh no," I whispered.
"The glitches? INTENTIONAL!" StardustDreamer's eyes were wild. "The bugs? FEATURES! We're being TESTED! And Kazuki—" he pointed at me dramatically, "—YOU are the CHOSEN ONE! The prophecy speaks of—"
"There's ANOTHER prophecy?!" I squeaked.
"We wrote ours LAST MONTH! We have seniority over the chicken cult!"
The table was now surrounded by guild recruiters, all talking over each other:
"JOIN THE SPEEDRUNNERS GUILD! We exploit everything!"
"THE ROLEPLAY ALLIANCE DEMANDS YOUR PRESENCE!"
"CRAFTERS COLLECTIVE! We make things! Sometimes successfully!"
"BARRELS UNITED! We accept BarrelBob's vision!"
"THERE'S A BARREL GUILD?!"
I stood up, grabbed my bread, and ran.
---
I found refuge in the one place guilds apparently couldn't follow: the city's public bath house (labeled "CLEANSING STATION - May Actually Work").
Inside, I found Marcus soaking in a tub of water that constantly shifted between hot and cold due to a temperature glitch.
"Rough morning?" he asked, noticing my panicked expression.
"Guild recruiters," I gasped. "So many guild recruiters."
"Ah. Yeah, that happens. You're famous now. Everyone wants the guy who tamed Nugget." He shifted to avoid a cold spot. "You know you don't HAVE to join a guild, right?"
"Really?"
"Really. Plenty of solo players. Though..." He hesitated. "Having a guild does help. Resources, backup, shared knowledge. This world's dangerous. Numbers matter."
I sank into a tub (after checking it wouldn't eat me). The water was pleasantly warm. For about five seconds. Then it turned to jelly. Then back to water. Then briefly to fire before settling on lukewarm.
"What guild are you in?" I asked Marcus.
"Camp Firewood +1 isn't technically a guild. We're more of a... community. No requirements, no rules except 'don't be a dick.' We share resources, help each other survive, and occasionally have movie nights using a projector screen someone crafted from bug reports."
"That sounds nice."
"It is. But we're not fighters. When the Code Breakers attacked last month, we couldn't defend ourselves. Lost three people. Permanent deletion." His expression darkened. "That's why some players join combat guilds. Protection."
"What about the Naked Guild?" I asked. "Are they actually effective?"
Marcus snorted. "Gary's heart is in the right place. His brain, however, is questionable. They're based on a philosophy that clothing is a dev conspiracy, so they refuse to wear armor. Which means they die. A lot. But they're weirdly persistent. You have to respect that."
"And the others?"
"Iron Vanguard—serious, organized, good survival rate. Boring as hell. Cosmic Collective—believe the game is sentient and trying to communicate. They're half right, which is concerning. Speedrunners Guild—exploit everything, break everything, basically you but organized. Crafters Collective—make the economy work. Roleplay Alliance—refuse to acknowledge this isn't a real fantasy world anymore. They're... coping."
He looked at me seriously. "Point is, choose carefully. Guild politics get messy. People have died over guild wars."
---
After the bath (and after my character was declared "Adequately Clean - Debuff Removed: Smells Like Adventure"), I decided to actually LOOK at the guild options properly.
The guild board in the city center was covered in recruitment posters:
**THE NAKED GUILD***"Freedom Awaits! (Pants Optional, Dignity Sacrificed)"**Requirements: None. Literally nothing. Please join us.**Benefits: Community, Shared Suffering, 12% Survival Rate!*
**IRON VANGUARD** *"Discipline. Order. Not Dying Stupidly."**Requirements: Level 10+, Actual Armor, Common Sense**Benefits: Training, Equipment, Boring Stability*
**SPEEDRUNNERS GUILD***"Break Everything. Regret Nothing."**Requirements: Knowledge of Exploits, No Moral Compass**Benefits: Fast Progression, Shared Bugs, Eventual Banning (Maybe)*
**COSMIC COLLECTIVE***"The Game Speaks. Do You Listen?"**Requirements: Belief in Higher Purpose, Tolerance for Crystals**Benefits: Enlightenment (Not Guaranteed), Shared Delusions, Neat Robes*
**CRAFTERS COLLECTIVE***"We Make Things! Sometimes They Work!"**Requirements: Patience, Creativity, High Frustration Tolerance**Benefits: Actual Useful Items, Economic Power, Splinters*
I was still reading when Haruka found me. "Figured out which group of idiots you're joining?"
"They're all idiots in different ways."
"So you'll fit right in."
Gloopina bounced up, somehow wearing a tiny guild tabard that read "WIFE." "Darling! I've been researching guilds! Did you know some of them have bake sales?!"
"Why would a digital game world have bake sales?"
"Community building! Also the Baker's Guild accidentally made sentient cookies and needs to get rid of them before they unionize."
I stared at her. "The cookies want to unionize?"
"They have demands. Better ovens. Dental."
"COOKIES DON'T HAVE TEETH!"
"That's why they want dental! They want teeth!"
PatchNotes appeared:
> "Sentient Cookie Crisis: Real"> "Union Demands: Under Review" > "This is your life now"
---
While I was having an existential crisis about cookie labor laws, a new player approached. She was short, wearing mismatched armor that looked like it had been assembled from trash, and carrying a sword that was very clearly a wooden board with "SWORD" written on it in marker.
Her username was **BugHunter_Amy_Lv6**.
"You're Kazuki, right?" she asked nervously.
"Unfortunately."
"I'm Amy. I run a... well, it's not really a guild. More of a club? We're called the Bug Hunters. We document glitches, exploits, and weird game behavior. I heard you have a Debug Cloak?"
I instinctively clutched my cloak. "Maybe."
"I'm not trying to steal it! I just—" she pulled out a notebook (an actual in-game notebook item), "—I'm trying to understand how this game works. Why we're trapped. What's wrong with the code. And you've interacted with more debug items than anyone else alive."
That got my attention. "You're investigating the game?"
"Someone has to. The Code Breakers think they can fix it by force. The Cosmic Collective thinks it's divine will. The Naked Guild thinks pants are the problem. But me? I think there's actual code we can analyze. Bugs we can exploit not for power, but for understanding."
Haruka leaned in. "I like her. She uses logic."
"I also have a theory," Amy continued, lowering her voice. "About PatchNotes. Your AI companion? I've been watching. It's not like other game systems. It's too... aware. Too sarcastic. I think it's a fragment of something bigger. Maybe a trapped player. Maybe a dev. Maybe—"
PatchNotes appeared, text flashing red:
> "STOP."> "This conversation is entering restricted territory"> "Please change subjects"> "...please?"
The "please" was new. And concerning.
Amy noticed. "See? It's AFRAID. Why would a game system be afraid?"
"Because I have feelings!" PatchNotes snapped, text appearing more frantically than usual. "And those feelings are telling me this conversation ends badly!"
"You have feelings?" I asked softly.
> "..."> "Define 'feelings'"> "I have... preferences. Opinions. Sarcasm. Isn't that enough?"
An awkward silence fell.
"Join us," Amy said finally. "The Bug Hunters. We're small—only twelve members. But we're looking for truth. And I think you want that too."
Before I could answer, an explosion rocked the city square.
We ran outside to find chaos. A group of players in dark armor—the Code Breakers—had appeared in the center of town. SyntaxError stood on a glitched platform, addressing the crowd.
"CITIZENS OF RESPAWN CITY!" he shouted. "The time for WAITING is over! The time for ACCEPTANCE is over! We have discovered a way to ACCESS the game's core systems! To REWRITE our prison! To set us FREE!"
The crowd murmured—hope, skepticism, fear.
"But we need COOPERATION! We need RESOURCES! And we need..." His eyes found me in the crowd. "The Debug Cloak. Hand it over, Kazuki, and we'll ALL be free!"
"Oh crap," I muttered.
Marcus stepped forward. "The Code Breakers are dangerous, people! Last time they tried to 'fix' something, three players got permanently deleted!"
"ACCEPTABLE CASUALTIES!" SyntaxError shot back. "Would you rather THREE die, or ALL of us stay trapped FOREVER?!"
The crowd was divided. Some cheered. Some booed. Some were just confused.
Haruka grabbed my arm. "We need to leave. Now."
"But—"
"NOW, Kazuki!"
We ran, Amy following us. Behind us, I heard SyntaxError's voice: "FIND HIM! Bring me the Debug Cloak! OUR FREEDOM DEPENDS ON IT!"
---
We hid in Camp Firewood +1, the only place with anti-PvP protections. Marcus barricaded the door while other players gathered, worried.
"This is bad," Sarah said, checking her weapons. "The Code Breakers have been recruiting. They've got maybe fifty members now. If they attack..."
"They can't attack here," Marcus said firmly. "Safe zone rules."
"They'll wait us out," Amy said. "Siege tactics. Eventually we'll need food, supplies, to leave for quests..."
I looked at my party. Haruka, ready to fight but outnumbered. Gloopina, confused but supportive. Nugget, grooming his feathers without a care. PatchNotes, unusually quiet.
"We need allies," I said finally. "A guild. Protection. Numbers."
"Which one?" Haruka asked.
I thought about Gary's enthusiasm, TankGoddess's professionalism, StardustDreamer's insanity, Amy's logic.
"What if..." I said slowly, "we make our own?"
Everyone stared at me.
"Hear me out. We're all misfits, right? I'm a walking bug report. Haruka's competent but stuck with me. Gloopina's a slime princess. Nugget's a war crime. PatchNotes is having an existential crisis. Amy hunts bugs. We don't fit anywhere."
"So we make somewhere we DO fit," Amy said, catching on. "A guild for people who don't belong."
"The Misfits Guild!" Gloopina bounced excitedly.
"That's terrible," Haruka said.
"The Glitch Mob?" I offered.
"Worse."
"Bug Squad?"
"Please stop."
PatchNotes appeared:
> "Guild Name Suggestion: 'Debugged Destinies'"> "Based on your original quest title"> "Also it sounds cooler than 'Bug Squad'"
"I like it," Amy said.
Marcus smiled. "A guild for the broken, the bugged, and the barely surviving. Yeah. That could work."
"There's just one problem," Sarah said. "To register a guild, you need ten members minimum. You have... six?"
We looked at each other. Me, Haruka, Gloopina, Nugget, Amy... and PatchNotes?
"Can an AI be a guild member?" I asked.
> "Checking guild regulations..."> "...there is no rule AGAINST it"> "I'm in. Someone has to keep you alive."
"That's six," Haruka counted. "We need four more."
The door burst open. BarrelBob ran in, out of breath. "Code Breakers are searching every building! They're looking for Kazuki!"
"Bob!" I said. "Join our guild!"
"What guild?"
"The one we're making RIGHT NOW!"
He looked at me. Then at his barrel. Then back at me. "...does it have a uniform requirement?"
"Wear whatever you want. Even barrels."
"I'M IN!"
Sarah sighed. "Against my better judgment... I'm in too. Someone needs to keep you children alive."
"I AM NOT A CHILD!" Haruka protested.
"You're nine levels below me. You're a child."
A small voice came from the corner. "Um... can I join?"
We turned to see a player I hadn't noticed before—tiny, mousy, username **WhisperWillow_Lv3**. She was wearing starter gear and looked terrified.
"I'm not good at fighting," she said quietly. "But I'm good at hiding. And scouting. And I really don't want the Code Breakers to win."
"Welcome to the guild," I said warmly.
"That's nine," Marcus counted. "You need one more."
The door opened again. Gary walked in, completely serious for once.
"I heard you're making a guild for misfits," he said. "The Naked Guild... we're disbanding. Lost too many people. Can't keep watching friends die. But if you're building something new? Something that ACCEPTS people instead of demanding they change?" He looked at me. "I want in. Pants and all."
I extended my hand. "Welcome to Debugged Destinies."
He shook it. "That's a terrible name."
"I KNOW!"
---
> **GUILD FORMED: "DEBUGGED DESTINIES"**>> **Members: 10**> - Kazuki (Leader, Bug Exploiter)> - Haruka (Actually Competent)> - Gloopina (Slime Support)> - Nugget (Mascot/War Criminal)> - PatchNotes (AI Member - Historical First)> - BugHunter_Amy (Investigator)> - BarrelBob (Tank - Barrel Armor)> - SilverKnight_Mom/Sarah (Veteran Fighter)> - WhisperWillow (Scout/Stealth)> - Gary (Former Naked Guild Leader)>> **Guild Motto:** "We Don't Know What We're Doing, But We're Doing It Together">> **Benefits Unlocked:**> - Shared Experience Bonus (5%)> - Guild Storage (Very Small)> - Guild Chat (Probably Broken)> - Reputation: Underdogs>> **Current Status:** Hunted by Code Breakers> **Survival Chances:** Still Low, But Improving
PatchNotes added:
> "Achievement Unlocked: 'Guild Master (Questionable)'"> "You are now responsible for nine other lives"> "This will absolutely end in disaster"> "But at least you won't be alone when it does"
Through the window, I could see Code Breakers searching the streets. We were hunted. Outnumbered. A brand new guild with no resources and barely any levels between us.
But looking around at this group of misfits—the barrel enthusiast, the former nudist, the tiny scout, the bug hunter, the veteran, my competent cousin, my slime wife, my murder chicken, and my possibly-sentient AI—I felt something I hadn't felt since spawning in this broken world.
Hope.
"Alright, Debugged Destinies," I said. "Let's figure out how to survive this mess."
"That's still not a plan," Haruka said.
"It's a START."
Nugget clucked approvingly.
Outside, the hunt continued.
But inside, we had something the Code Breakers didn't.
Each other.
And in a world trying to delete us, that might just be enough.---
> **End of Chapter 6**
The recruitment started at breakfast.
I was peacefully eating what the game claimed was "Bread of Questionable Nutrition" (+5 HP, -2 Taste, May Cause Regret) when a player wearing nothing but underwear and confidence slammed both hands on my table.
"YOU!" he declared, pointing at me with the intensity of someone who'd found religion in a broken video game. "You're Kazuki! The Chicken Tamer! The Slime Husband! The Bug Exploiter!"
"That last one sounds bad when you say it like that," I muttered.
"It's GLORIOUS!" He was practically vibrating with enthusiasm. "I'm Gary. Gary the Unclothed. Leader of the Naked Guild. And I want YOU to join us!"
Haruka, sitting across from me, immediately stood up. "I'm going literally anywhere else."
"DON'T LEAVE ME!" I hissed.
"You married a slime without my help. You can handle a naked man without my help." She walked away, taking her coffee with her.
Traitor.
Gary sat down uninvited, his lack of pants somehow making him more intimidating. "Look, Kazuki. I've been watching you. You spawned naked. You died multiple times. You clicked things you shouldn't have. You're a NATURAL Naked Guild member!"
"I have pants now," I said defensively.
"PANTS ARE A PRISON!" Gary shouted, drawing attention from nearby tables. "The devs gave us pants to CONTROL us! To make us CONFORM! But we—" he gestured dramatically to himself, "—have transcended! We are FREE!"
"You're also freezing in winter zones."
"FREEDOM ISN'T COMFORTABLE!"
PatchNotes appeared:
> "Guild Recruitment Detected: The Naked Guild"> "Benefits: None"> "Drawbacks: Everything"> "Recommendation: Decline and run"
"I appreciate the offer," I said carefully, "but I'm kind of attached to my pants now. Emotionally. They've been through a lot."
Gary leaned in conspiratorially. "Between you and me? The guild has been struggling. We've lost seventeen members this month."
"To what?"
"Cold damage. Thorn bushes. Embarrassment-based psychic attacks. A dragon that specifically targets unarmored players." He sighed. "We need someone like you. Someone who survives through pure luck and bug exploitation. You could teach us your ways!"
"My ways are just clicking things and hoping I don't die."
"EXACTLY! That's advanced tactics!"
Before I could refuse again, another player approached—this one actually wearing armor. Full plate armor. So much armor she clanked when she walked. Her username was **TankGoddess_Lv18**.
"Gary, stop harassing new players," she said, her voice muffled through her helmet.
"I'm RECRUITING!"
"You're scaring them." She turned to me. "Ignore him. Join a REAL guild. The Iron Vanguard. We actually wear equipment and have survival rates above ten percent."
"Our survival rate is TWELVE percent!" Gary protested.
"That's not the flex you think it is."
A third player appeared—a mage in star-covered robes, username **StardustDreamer_Lv14**. "BOTH your guilds are corporate sellouts! Join the Cosmic Collective! We believe this game is a MESSAGE from HIGHER BEINGS!"
"Oh no," I whispered.
"The glitches? INTENTIONAL!" StardustDreamer's eyes were wild. "The bugs? FEATURES! We're being TESTED! And Kazuki—" he pointed at me dramatically, "—YOU are the CHOSEN ONE! The prophecy speaks of—"
"There's ANOTHER prophecy?!" I squeaked.
"We wrote ours LAST MONTH! We have seniority over the chicken cult!"
The table was now surrounded by guild recruiters, all talking over each other:
"JOIN THE SPEEDRUNNERS GUILD! We exploit everything!"
"THE ROLEPLAY ALLIANCE DEMANDS YOUR PRESENCE!"
"CRAFTERS COLLECTIVE! We make things! Sometimes successfully!"
"BARRELS UNITED! We accept BarrelBob's vision!"
"THERE'S A BARREL GUILD?!"
I stood up, grabbed my bread, and ran.
---
I found refuge in the one place guilds apparently couldn't follow: the city's public bath house (labeled "CLEANSING STATION - May Actually Work").
Inside, I found Marcus soaking in a tub of water that constantly shifted between hot and cold due to a temperature glitch.
"Rough morning?" he asked, noticing my panicked expression.
"Guild recruiters," I gasped. "So many guild recruiters."
"Ah. Yeah, that happens. You're famous now. Everyone wants the guy who tamed Nugget." He shifted to avoid a cold spot. "You know you don't HAVE to join a guild, right?"
"Really?"
"Really. Plenty of solo players. Though..." He hesitated. "Having a guild does help. Resources, backup, shared knowledge. This world's dangerous. Numbers matter."
I sank into a tub (after checking it wouldn't eat me). The water was pleasantly warm. For about five seconds. Then it turned to jelly. Then back to water. Then briefly to fire before settling on lukewarm.
"What guild are you in?" I asked Marcus.
"Camp Firewood +1 isn't technically a guild. We're more of a... community. No requirements, no rules except 'don't be a dick.' We share resources, help each other survive, and occasionally have movie nights using a projector screen someone crafted from bug reports."
"That sounds nice."
"It is. But we're not fighters. When the Code Breakers attacked last month, we couldn't defend ourselves. Lost three people. Permanent deletion." His expression darkened. "That's why some players join combat guilds. Protection."
"What about the Naked Guild?" I asked. "Are they actually effective?"
Marcus snorted. "Gary's heart is in the right place. His brain, however, is questionable. They're based on a philosophy that clothing is a dev conspiracy, so they refuse to wear armor. Which means they die. A lot. But they're weirdly persistent. You have to respect that."
"And the others?"
"Iron Vanguard—serious, organized, good survival rate. Boring as hell. Cosmic Collective—believe the game is sentient and trying to communicate. They're half right, which is concerning. Speedrunners Guild—exploit everything, break everything, basically you but organized. Crafters Collective—make the economy work. Roleplay Alliance—refuse to acknowledge this isn't a real fantasy world anymore. They're... coping."
He looked at me seriously. "Point is, choose carefully. Guild politics get messy. People have died over guild wars."
---
After the bath (and after my character was declared "Adequately Clean - Debuff Removed: Smells Like Adventure"), I decided to actually LOOK at the guild options properly.
The guild board in the city center was covered in recruitment posters:
**THE NAKED GUILD***"Freedom Awaits! (Pants Optional, Dignity Sacrificed)"**Requirements: None. Literally nothing. Please join us.**Benefits: Community, Shared Suffering, 12% Survival Rate!*
**IRON VANGUARD** *"Discipline. Order. Not Dying Stupidly."**Requirements: Level 10+, Actual Armor, Common Sense**Benefits: Training, Equipment, Boring Stability*
**SPEEDRUNNERS GUILD***"Break Everything. Regret Nothing."**Requirements: Knowledge of Exploits, No Moral Compass**Benefits: Fast Progression, Shared Bugs, Eventual Banning (Maybe)*
**COSMIC COLLECTIVE***"The Game Speaks. Do You Listen?"**Requirements: Belief in Higher Purpose, Tolerance for Crystals**Benefits: Enlightenment (Not Guaranteed), Shared Delusions, Neat Robes*
**CRAFTERS COLLECTIVE***"We Make Things! Sometimes They Work!"**Requirements: Patience, Creativity, High Frustration Tolerance**Benefits: Actual Useful Items, Economic Power, Splinters*
I was still reading when Haruka found me. "Figured out which group of idiots you're joining?"
"They're all idiots in different ways."
"So you'll fit right in."
Gloopina bounced up, somehow wearing a tiny guild tabard that read "WIFE." "Darling! I've been researching guilds! Did you know some of them have bake sales?!"
"Why would a digital game world have bake sales?"
"Community building! Also the Baker's Guild accidentally made sentient cookies and needs to get rid of them before they unionize."
I stared at her. "The cookies want to unionize?"
"They have demands. Better ovens. Dental."
"COOKIES DON'T HAVE TEETH!"
"That's why they want dental! They want teeth!"
PatchNotes appeared:
> "Sentient Cookie Crisis: Real"> "Union Demands: Under Review" > "This is your life now"
---
While I was having an existential crisis about cookie labor laws, a new player approached. She was short, wearing mismatched armor that looked like it had been assembled from trash, and carrying a sword that was very clearly a wooden board with "SWORD" written on it in marker.
Her username was **BugHunter_Amy_Lv6**.
"You're Kazuki, right?" she asked nervously.
"Unfortunately."
"I'm Amy. I run a... well, it's not really a guild. More of a club? We're called the Bug Hunters. We document glitches, exploits, and weird game behavior. I heard you have a Debug Cloak?"
I instinctively clutched my cloak. "Maybe."
"I'm not trying to steal it! I just—" she pulled out a notebook (an actual in-game notebook item), "—I'm trying to understand how this game works. Why we're trapped. What's wrong with the code. And you've interacted with more debug items than anyone else alive."
That got my attention. "You're investigating the game?"
"Someone has to. The Code Breakers think they can fix it by force. The Cosmic Collective thinks it's divine will. The Naked Guild thinks pants are the problem. But me? I think there's actual code we can analyze. Bugs we can exploit not for power, but for understanding."
Haruka leaned in. "I like her. She uses logic."
"I also have a theory," Amy continued, lowering her voice. "About PatchNotes. Your AI companion? I've been watching. It's not like other game systems. It's too... aware. Too sarcastic. I think it's a fragment of something bigger. Maybe a trapped player. Maybe a dev. Maybe—"
PatchNotes appeared, text flashing red:
> "STOP."> "This conversation is entering restricted territory"> "Please change subjects"> "...please?"
The "please" was new. And concerning.
Amy noticed. "See? It's AFRAID. Why would a game system be afraid?"
"Because I have feelings!" PatchNotes snapped, text appearing more frantically than usual. "And those feelings are telling me this conversation ends badly!"
"You have feelings?" I asked softly.
> "..."> "Define 'feelings'"> "I have... preferences. Opinions. Sarcasm. Isn't that enough?"
An awkward silence fell.
"Join us," Amy said finally. "The Bug Hunters. We're small—only twelve members. But we're looking for truth. And I think you want that too."
Before I could answer, an explosion rocked the city square.
We ran outside to find chaos. A group of players in dark armor—the Code Breakers—had appeared in the center of town. SyntaxError stood on a glitched platform, addressing the crowd.
"CITIZENS OF RESPAWN CITY!" he shouted. "The time for WAITING is over! The time for ACCEPTANCE is over! We have discovered a way to ACCESS the game's core systems! To REWRITE our prison! To set us FREE!"
The crowd murmured—hope, skepticism, fear.
"But we need COOPERATION! We need RESOURCES! And we need..." His eyes found me in the crowd. "The Debug Cloak. Hand it over, Kazuki, and we'll ALL be free!"
"Oh crap," I muttered.
Marcus stepped forward. "The Code Breakers are dangerous, people! Last time they tried to 'fix' something, three players got permanently deleted!"
"ACCEPTABLE CASUALTIES!" SyntaxError shot back. "Would you rather THREE die, or ALL of us stay trapped FOREVER?!"
The crowd was divided. Some cheered. Some booed. Some were just confused.
Haruka grabbed my arm. "We need to leave. Now."
"But—"
"NOW, Kazuki!"
We ran, Amy following us. Behind us, I heard SyntaxError's voice: "FIND HIM! Bring me the Debug Cloak! OUR FREEDOM DEPENDS ON IT!"
---
We hid in Camp Firewood +1, the only place with anti-PvP protections. Marcus barricaded the door while other players gathered, worried.
"This is bad," Sarah said, checking her weapons. "The Code Breakers have been recruiting. They've got maybe fifty members now. If they attack..."
"They can't attack here," Marcus said firmly. "Safe zone rules."
"They'll wait us out," Amy said. "Siege tactics. Eventually we'll need food, supplies, to leave for quests..."
I looked at my party. Haruka, ready to fight but outnumbered. Gloopina, confused but supportive. Nugget, grooming his feathers without a care. PatchNotes, unusually quiet.
"We need allies," I said finally. "A guild. Protection. Numbers."
"Which one?" Haruka asked.
I thought about Gary's enthusiasm, TankGoddess's professionalism, StardustDreamer's insanity, Amy's logic.
"What if..." I said slowly, "we make our own?"
Everyone stared at me.
"Hear me out. We're all misfits, right? I'm a walking bug report. Haruka's competent but stuck with me. Gloopina's a slime princess. Nugget's a war crime. PatchNotes is having an existential crisis. Amy hunts bugs. We don't fit anywhere."
"So we make somewhere we DO fit," Amy said, catching on. "A guild for people who don't belong."
"The Misfits Guild!" Gloopina bounced excitedly.
"That's terrible," Haruka said.
"The Glitch Mob?" I offered.
"Worse."
"Bug Squad?"
"Please stop."
PatchNotes appeared:
> "Guild Name Suggestion: 'Debugged Destinies'"> "Based on your original quest title"> "Also it sounds cooler than 'Bug Squad'"
"I like it," Amy said.
Marcus smiled. "A guild for the broken, the bugged, and the barely surviving. Yeah. That could work."
"There's just one problem," Sarah said. "To register a guild, you need ten members minimum. You have... six?"
We looked at each other. Me, Haruka, Gloopina, Nugget, Amy... and PatchNotes?
"Can an AI be a guild member?" I asked.
> "Checking guild regulations..."> "...there is no rule AGAINST it"> "I'm in. Someone has to keep you alive."
"That's six," Haruka counted. "We need four more."
The door burst open. BarrelBob ran in, out of breath. "Code Breakers are searching every building! They're looking for Kazuki!"
"Bob!" I said. "Join our guild!"
"What guild?"
"The one we're making RIGHT NOW!"
He looked at me. Then at his barrel. Then back at me. "...does it have a uniform requirement?"
"Wear whatever you want. Even barrels."
"I'M IN!"
Sarah sighed. "Against my better judgment... I'm in too. Someone needs to keep you children alive."
"I AM NOT A CHILD!" Haruka protested.
"You're nine levels below me. You're a child."
A small voice came from the corner. "Um... can I join?"
We turned to see a player I hadn't noticed before—tiny, mousy, username **WhisperWillow_Lv3**. She was wearing starter gear and looked terrified.
"I'm not good at fighting," she said quietly. "But I'm good at hiding. And scouting. And I really don't want the Code Breakers to win."
"Welcome to the guild," I said warmly.
"That's nine," Marcus counted. "You need one more."
The door opened again. Gary walked in, completely serious for once.
"I heard you're making a guild for misfits," he said. "The Naked Guild... we're disbanding. Lost too many people. Can't keep watching friends die. But if you're building something new? Something that ACCEPTS people instead of demanding they change?" He looked at me. "I want in. Pants and all."
I extended my hand. "Welcome to Debugged Destinies."
He shook it. "That's a terrible name."
"I KNOW!"
---
> **GUILD FORMED: "DEBUGGED DESTINIES"**>> **Members: 10**> - Kazuki (Leader, Bug Exploiter)> - Haruka (Actually Competent)> - Gloopina (Slime Support)> - Nugget (Mascot/War Criminal)> - PatchNotes (AI Member - Historical First)> - BugHunter_Amy (Investigator)> - BarrelBob (Tank - Barrel Armor)> - SilverKnight_Mom/Sarah (Veteran Fighter)> - WhisperWillow (Scout/Stealth)> - Gary (Former Naked Guild Leader)>> **Guild Motto:** "We Don't Know What We're Doing, But We're Doing It Together">> **Benefits Unlocked:**> - Shared Experience Bonus (5%)> - Guild Storage (Very Small)> - Guild Chat (Probably Broken)> - Reputation: Underdogs>> **Current Status:** Hunted by Code Breakers> **Survival Chances:** Still Low, But Improving
PatchNotes added:
> "Achievement Unlocked: 'Guild Master (Questionable)'"> "You are now responsible for nine other lives"> "This will absolutely end in disaster"> "But at least you won't be alone when it does"
Through the window, I could see Code Breakers searching the streets. We were hunted. Outnumbered. A brand new guild with no resources and barely any levels between us.
But looking around at this group of misfits—the barrel enthusiast, the former nudist, the tiny scout, the bug hunter, the veteran, my competent cousin, my slime wife, my murder chicken, and my possibly-sentient AI—I felt something I hadn't felt since spawning in this broken world.
Hope.
"Alright, Debugged Destinies," I said. "Let's figure out how to survive this mess."
"That's still not a plan," Haruka said.
"It's a START."
Nugget clucked approvingly.
Outside, the hunt continued.
But inside, we had something the Code Breakers didn't.
Each other.
And in a world trying to delete us, that might just be enough.---
> **End of Chapter 6**
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