Tournament Day - David vs Goliath (If David Had a Murder Chicken)

I woke up to find my legendary armor had arrived.
Techsmith had delivered it personally at dawn, dropping a large box outside our guild hall with a note that read: "DON'T DIE. IT WOULD WASTE MY CRAFTSMANSHIP. - T"
Inside the box was the most beautiful equipment I'd ever seen.
**ADAPTIVE SURVIVOR'S SET (Legendary)**
**Chestplate:** Dark material that shimmered between textures, covered in code fragments that moved like living tattoos- Defense: 50 (+5 per death experienced)- Special: Learns from damage taken, gains resistance to repeated attacks- Current Bonus: +65 Defense (You've died 13 times, remember?)
**Gauntlets:** Fingerless gloves that crackled with debug energy- Attack Speed: +15%- Special: Attacks that "miss" have a chance to hit anyway (Reality Glitch)- Note: Your incompetence is now a feature
**Boots:** Lightweight, seemingly made of compressed glitch particles- Movement Speed: +20%- Special: Ignore terrain penalties, walk on walls for 3 seconds- Warning: Gravity is a suggestion
**Cloak Attachment:** Integrates with Debug Cloak- All Debug Cloak abilities enhanced by 50%- Special: Can now share debug vision with party members- Note: Everyone can see how broken the game is now
I equipped it all. The moment the armor settled onto my character, I felt... different. Stronger. More stable. Like the game recognized I was slightly less likely to die immediately.
My character sheet updated:
> **Kazuki Tanaka - Level 1**> Class: Bugged Survivor> > **STATS:**> Strength: 5 → 12 (Armor Bonus)> Dexterity: 7 → 15 (Armor Bonus)> Defense: 1 → 65 (You died a LOT)> Luck: -2 → -2 (Some things never change)>> **New Passive: Adaptive Learning**> Every time you die, you get slightly better at not dying> Current Death Count: 13> Current "Not Dying" Bonus: +13% to all survival-related activities
"Still level 1," PatchNotes observed.
"Still alive," I countered.
"Fair point."
---
The arena was packed.
Respawn City's combat arena was a massive circular structure that looked like someone had tried to build a Roman Colosseum but kept getting interrupted by glitches. Sections of the stands floated. Some seats were upside down. One entire section existed in black-and-white while everything else was in color.
But it was FULL. Every player in the city had come to watch.
The broadcast crystals were everywhere—NewsGoblin_Tom had apparently convinced the entire Town Crier network to cover this. It was the event of the month.
In one corner: **The Iron Vanguard**. Twenty members, all level 15-20, wearing matching red-and-gold armor, weapons that actually looked functional, and expressions of professional confidence.
Their leader, **IronLord_Magnus_Lv20**, stood at the front—massive, muscular, with a sword that crackled with enchantments.
In the other corner: **Debugged Destinies**. Ten humanoid members (levels 1-9), eighteen cookies, one slime princess, one murder chicken, and me in my fresh legendary armor that made me look way more competent than I was.
The crowd was... divided.
"IRON VANGUARD! IRON VANGUARD!" chanted half the arena.
"UNDERDOGS! UNDERDOGS!" chanted the other half (mostly the Naked Guild and our cult).
Marcus stood as the official referee, looking like he regretted every life choice that led to this moment.
"Tournament rules!" he announced. "Five rounds! Combat, Strategy, Survival, Team Battle, and Champion Duel! First to win three rounds takes the tournament and the prize!"
"Five hundred gold," I whispered to Haruka. "We NEED this."
"We'll get destroyed," she whispered back. "But we'll look good doing it."
"That's the spirit!"
---
**ROUND ONE: COMBAT TRIAL**
Five members from each guild. Arena combat. Last team standing wins.
Iron Vanguard sent their best: five level 18-20 fighters, coordinated, experienced.
We sent: Me (Lv1), Haruka (Lv9), Sarah (Lv9), Gary (Lv7), and BarrelBob (Lv6).
The crowd laughed. We were outleveled by an average of twelve levels per person.
"BEGIN!" Marcus shouted.
The Iron Vanguard charged in perfect formation—shield wall in front, mages behind, flankers on the sides. Textbook tactics.
We had no tactics. We had chaos.
"SCATTER!" I yelled, and everyone ran in different directions.
The Iron Vanguard's formation immediately broke trying to pursue multiple targets.
"What are they DOING?!" IronLord_Magnus shouted.
"SURVIVING!" I screamed back, dodge-rolling past a sword strike.
My new armor's abilities kicked in. The attack that should have hit me MISSED because reality glitched. The attacker stumbled, confused.
Haruka was casting fire spells from behind a pillar that kept teleporting to different locations. The Iron Vanguard mages couldn't get a clear shot.
Sarah fought defensively, using her experience to parry and counter, slowly wearing down her opponent.
Gary, true to his nature, had removed his shirt mid-combat. "CLOTHING IS A TACTICAL DISADVANTAGE!" he screamed while somehow dodging arrows.
"PUT YOUR SHIRT BACK ON!" the referee yelled.
"NEVER!"
BarrelBob discovered that being stuck in a barrel made him EXTREMELY good at rolling. He tucked himself into a ball and became a bowling ball of chaos, crashing into the Iron Vanguard's backline.
The crowd went wild.
We weren't winning through skill. We were winning through confusion.
The Iron Vanguard couldn't coordinate against an enemy with no coordination. They kept expecting tactics and getting randomness.
When the dust settled, we'd won. Somehow.
**DEBUGGED DESTINIES: 1 | IRON VANGUARD: 0**
The crowd erupted. The underdogs had drawn first blood.
IronLord_Magnus looked legitimately confused. "How did that... what just..."
"Chaos," I grinned. "It's our strategy."
"That's not a strategy!"
"And yet."
---
**ROUND TWO: STRATEGY PUZZLE**
Both guilds face a tactical challenge. Fastest solution wins.
The challenge: A maze filled with monsters, traps, and puzzles. Retrieve a flag at the center. Time limit: 10 minutes.
Iron Vanguard went first. They were EFFICIENT. Cleared monsters methodically, solved puzzles logically, retrieved the flag in 7 minutes, 34 seconds.
"Beat that," IronLord_Magnus said smugly.
Our turn.
Amy had been studying the maze while they ran it. "I found something," she whispered. "The maze has debug markers. Collision boundaries that aren't properly hidden. There's a PATH through the walls."
"Wait, we can CHEAT?" Gary asked.
"It's not cheating if it's using game mechanics," Amy corrected.
"That's absolutely cheating," Haruka said.
"But is it AGAINST the rules?"
We looked at Marcus. He checked his rulebook (a literal book that kept rewriting itself). "Rules say 'retrieve the flag by any means.' Nothing about staying in bounds."
"We're doing it," I decided.
We entered the maze. Immediately activated my Debug Cloak, shared the vision with the team. The walls became translucent, showing the debug boundaries, the holes in collision detection, the shortcuts.
We walked through walls.
The crowd gasped. The Iron Vanguard protested.
"THAT'S CHEATING!" IronLord_Magnus roared.
"It's EXPLOITING!" I called back. "There's a difference!"
"THERE ISN'T!"
We retrieved the flag in 2 minutes, 15 seconds.
Marcus checked his rulebook again. It was rewriting itself in real-time, trying to create a rule against what we'd done, but failing.
"Legal," he announced reluctantly. "Winner: Debugged Destinies."
**DEBUGGED DESTINIES: 2 | IRON VANGUARD: 0**
The crowd was split between cheering and booing. The broadcast crystals were having a field day.
"THIS IS UNPRECEDENTED!" NewsGoblin_Tom announced. "THE UNDERDOGS ARE WINNING THROUGH QUESTIONABLE TACTICS!"
"They're just BUGS!" I protested.
"QUESTIONABLE BUGS!"
---
**ROUND THREE: SURVIVAL CHALLENGE**
Both guilds enter a hostile zone. Last guild with members standing wins.
The zone: **The Pit of Perpetual Problems**. A arena filled with spawning monsters, environmental hazards, and random debuffs.
This was Iron Vanguard's specialty. Survival. Endurance. They were built for this.
We lasted 90 seconds before things went wrong.
A random debuff hit me: "EXTREME CONFIDENCE - You believe you can fight anything."
"I CAN TAKE THEM ALL!" I screamed, charging at a level 25 boss monster.
"KAZUKI, NO!" Haruka yelled.
"KAZUKI, YES!"
I lasted three seconds before dying.
**Death #14**
I respawned at the edge of the pit, my Adaptive Armor immediately updating:
> Defense: 65 → 70 (+5 for new death)> New Resistance: Boss Monster Attacks (5%)> Your armor is learning!
But we were down a member.
Gary got hit by "HONESTY DEBUFF - You must speak only truth."
"I'M TERRIFIED!" he screamed while fighting. "THIS WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA! I MISS THE NAKED GUILD!"
"STAY FOCUSED!" Sarah shouted, protecting him.
"I CAN'T! THE DEBUFF WON'T LET ME LIE ABOUT MY FEELINGS!"
BarrelBob got stuck between two rocks. Again.
WhisperWillow was doing great—she was SO quiet and small that monsters kept forgetting she existed. She was basically invisible through stealth.
But the Iron Vanguard was systematic. Organized. They rotated positions, shared buffs, covered each other.
We were CHAOS, but they were PREPARED.
At 15 minutes, we had three members standing. They had seven.
We lost.
**DEBUGGED DESTINIES: 2 | IRON VANGUARD: 1**
"Finally," IronLord_Magnus breathed. "A FAIR competition."
"Hey, we lasted fifteen minutes against level 20s," I said. "That's impressive."
"You died in ninety SECONDS!"
"And then I ADAPTED! That's my whole thing!"
---
**ROUND FOUR: TEAM BATTLE**
Full guild versus guild combat. All members. Last team standing.
This was it. The real fight.
Both guilds assembled. Iron Vanguard: twenty disciplined warriors. Debugged Destinies: ten chaotic players and eighteen cookies.
"The cookies fight too?" IronLord_Magnus asked incredulously.
"They demanded representation!" I said.
"THEY'RE BAKED GOODS!"
"SENTIENT baked goods! There's a difference!"
"BEGIN!" Marcus shouted.
The battle was MADNESS.
The Iron Vanguard charged in formation. We responded with... everything.
Haruka and Sarah led our actual fighters, holding the line.
Amy had crafted glitch bombs—devices that caused localized reality errors. She threw one, and suddenly three Iron Vanguard members were experiencing reversed gravity.
The cookies swarmed the backline. Eighteen gingerbread warriors with tiny weapons, dealing 1-2 damage each but ANNOYING EVERYONE.
"GET THEM OFF ME!" an Iron Vanguard mage screamed, covered in cookies.
"THEY'RE STICKY!"
"THAT'S THE CARAMEL! IT'S A TACTICAL ADVANTAGE!"
Gary fought completely naked again. He'd given up on clothing. "THIS IS MY TRUE FORM!"
"PUT ON PANTS!" someone from the crowd yelled.
"PANTS ARE OPPRESSION!"
BarrelBob discovered his barrel could deflect magic. He became a mobile shield, protecting our squishier members.
Gloopina was healing everyone with her gelatinous hugs. "SUPPORTIVE TACKLE!" she'd shout while body-slamming allies to heal them.
"THAT'S NOT HEALING, THAT'S ASSAULT!" 
"LOVING ASSAULT!"
And Nugget... Nugget was TERRIFYING.
He'd entered what PatchNotes labeled "ABSOLUTE TERRITORY MODE"—treating the entire arena as HIS domain. Any Iron Vanguard member who got too close got PECKED with prejudicial prejudice.
"THAT CHICKEN IS LEVEL CAPPED!" IronLord_Magnus screamed. "HOW IS THAT FAIR?!"
"HE'S A GUILD MEMBER!" I yelled back. "NO RULES AGAINST IT!"
I was using my legendary armor's abilities to their fullest. Walking on walls, phasing through attacks, sharing debug vision so my team could see weak points in enemy formations.
The battle lasted twenty minutes.
It was close. SO close.
In the end, it came down to five vs. five. Then three vs. three. Then...
Me, Haruka, and Nugget versus IronLord_Magnus and two of his lieutenants.
We were exhausted. They were exhausted. The crowd was SCREAMING.
"Give up," Magnus said. "You've fought well. But we're TRAINED. You're just... lucky."
"Luck is a skill," I grinned, activating my cloak's final ability—mass debug vision for the entire team.
Suddenly Haruka and I could see EVERYTHING. Every hitbox. Every attack pattern. Every opening.
We moved in perfect synchronization. Haruka's spells hit weak points I called out. I dodged attacks before they fully formed. Nugget struck with surgical precision.
The Iron Vanguard fell.
**DEBUGGED DESTINIES: 3 | IRON VANGUARD: 1**
The arena EXPLODED with noise.
We'd WON. The underdogs. The misfits. The level 1 guild leader and his cookies.
We'd ACTUALLY won.
---
The prize ceremony was surreal.
Marcus presented us with 500 gold, a trophy (that immediately glitched and started playing music), and city-wide recognition.
"Debugged Destinies," he announced to the crowd, "your new CHAMPION GUILD of Respawn City!"
The cheering was deafening.
IronLord_Magnus approached me, extending his hand. "That was... I don't even know what that WAS. But you won fairly. Mostly. Questionably. But fairly."
I shook his hand. "You guys were amazing. We just got lucky."
"THIRTEEN times lucky, apparently," he said, eyeing my death counter. "How are you STILL level 1?"
"I don't know. The game hates me?"
"The game LOVES you. You're just too chaotic to fit its systems."
PatchNotes appeared:
> "ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: Tournament Champions"> "ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: Beat the Odds (Literally)"> "ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: Still Level 1 (This is getting embarrassing)"> > "Guild Status: FAMOUS"> "Treasury: 837 Gold (Rich!)"> "Reputation: Maximum Chaos"
That night, we celebrated at The Ooze Lounge. Don Bloberto bought us drinks (that we didn't trust but drank anyway).
"You kids did good," the Don said. "Beat the establishment. Showed that being DIFFERENT is an advantage. The Family is proud."
"We're part of the Family now?" I asked.
"You married the Princess. You were ALWAYS part of the Family." He leaned in. "But now? Now you're USEFUL. And useful people? We protect them."
It felt weirdly comforting.
---
Later, as the party wound down, I stood on the guild hall balcony, looking at Respawn City.
Haruka joined me. "We actually did it. Won the tournament. Got the money. Became famous."
"Yeah."
"And you're STILL level 1."
"I know."
"The game is broken."
"I know."
"But we're making it work anyway."
"Yeah. We are."
She smiled. "For a walking disaster, you're not completely terrible at this."
"That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me."
"Don't get used to it."
PatchNotes appeared one last time that night:
> "Daily Report: VICTORIOUS"> "Guild Status: Champions"> "Treasury: Comfortable"> "Fame: Rising"> "Code Breakers: Still hunting you"> "ERYN: Watching with interest"> "Tomorrow: Unknown"> > "But tonight? Tonight you won."> "That's enough."
I smiled and headed inside.
We'd won a tournament. Made a name for ourselves. Proved that chaos could beat order.
But in a broken game world where an AI was learning to feel, where players were trapped forever, where Code Breakers wanted to delete everything...
This was just the beginning.
---
> **End of Chapter 10 >