Vol.4 Ch.68 - I Got a Pleasant Surprise

After finishing my chat with two of my ex-coworkers, I passed the borderbetween Tertis and Secundis. Finally, I thought, I made it back home for realthis time. I was over the moon when I thought about seeing my parents onceagain, but they’ll have to wait a bit before they get to see the new andimproved me.I didn’t really make any more stops in between the border and Springwood,it was more so a beeline in that regard. I guess I did stop by the river toreplenish my water supply and take a quick break from the motion sicknessinduced by the hellish wagon ride, but that’s it, really.Entering the gates of the city couldn’t have felt more nostalgic. It kind ofreminded me of Bilgam’s gates, which kind of makes me happy. Looks like Ihave a lot of places I consider home, eh? I got so lost in thought that I almostexited the wagon without paying (jeez, that would’ve been embarrassing!)I walked around the periphery of the town for a bit more before ultimatelydeciding to visit the plaza. It spread out in front of me in the exact same wayit did all those years ago, except something was different this time.“Pastries! Get your Trivis Numerica pastries!” A voice yelled outadvertisements into the crowded area, “Very affordable, just a single goldcoin for a hearty meal you won’t regret!”Man, to think we used to consider a gold coin to be way too expensive, howstupid we were I thought. Honestly, I could probably buy out this guy’sentire shop with the money I have now, but I’ll refrain for now, I’ve gotmore pressing matters than making some random guy’s day.I walked by the very same viewpoint where Grim pushed me off that day.Heh, he really did have some crazy ideas, didn’t he? But they’d always workfor some reason, how odd… Eh, I guess I should be thankful to him for givingme free healthcare. To think he was always looking out for my wellbeing,even when he himself was on the brink of starvation!“…” I looked out below me and basked in the beautiful visage of the townviewed from a highpoint, “I should go visit Arthur. I’m sure he’ll be thrilledto see me.”And just like that, I hopped down the very same viewpoint I once fell down.Thinking back, what I did just now was probably really weird for onlookers,but I didn’t care. I guess I just wanted to prove to the world how much I’vegrown. Something like Now that I’m big, I can jump off this height withoutany injuries! is the message I wanted to show.“WHOA!” A surprised voice jumped in surprise after seeing me fall fromabove, “Calm down there, kiddo. You don’t wanna sprain your ankles!”“A-Ah!” I immediately turned around to apologize to this fellow for scaringhim, “Apologies, I-It’s just I wanted to… HUH?!?”To my absolute surprise, I recognized this person. But that’s not all, I alsorecognized the person standing next to him and laughing audibly. They werenone other than Uncle Ridge and Graal Thurs (What on earth are they doinghere together?!)“Uncle Ridge!” I pointed to him, “And Mr. Thurs, too!?”“Well well well, if it isn’t my dear nephew!” The chipper Uncle came up togive me a hug, “Was the world too much for you after all?”“Wait, aren’t you the kid who passed the exam with that other one?” Theconfused Graal tried his best to remember, “Yeah, now that I get a good lookat you, there’s no mistaking it!”“Hold on, you two know each other?” I asked them outright.“Heck yeah we do!” Uncle Ridge got offended at my words, “We’ve beenbest friends since childhood! Our bond has a legendary status!”I can’t believe what I’m hearing. Graal Thurs, the guy whose connectionsallowed me and Grim to take the ITA entrance exam and get our passports allthe way in Leins, and my very Uncle, who’s been in his little village ofWheats for as long as I can remember, are best friends?!? Wow, the world istruly small, I wonder if Uncle knows Arthur then…“But wait, wasn’t there one other person with you back then?” Graal askedme, “If I recall correctly, wasn’t it Arthur’s granddaughter?”“Yeah.” I confirmed his claims, “And from what she told me in her letters,she’s apparently somewhere in Cardina helping spread the Arthur’srestaurant chain.”“Hold it!” Uncle Ridge suddenly joined the conversation, “That girl that wasfollowing you around was Old Man Arthur’s granddaughter!? But wait,wasn’t she like three the last time we saw her?” He said as he turned toGraal.“She obviously grew up, dumbass.” Graal gave him a slap on the back of thehead, “You’re just getting old.”This little slapstick comedy routine of theirs reminded me of Carter andGrim, in a way. They’d always hit each other when correcting themselves,and since they’re both pretty much brawns over brains, those correctionswhere all too frequent. Eventually it would escalate into a fight betweenthem, and they’d go at it for hours on end, before finally both collapsing ataround the same time due to exhaustion.Neither of them won a single duel, but I think that was their intention from thestart. I guess it was kind of like a friendly battle between fellow Generalsmeant to blow off some excess steam.I do remember one time when Cecily caught wind of this and stormed into thebattle grounds to beat both of them up. She surprisingly didn’t hold backagainst either of them, and was therefore promptly crowned the strongestperson in the entire gang immediately after finishing up her brutal beating ofboth her idiot boyfriend and dumbass brother.Ah, no time for flashbacks! Right now I need to catch up with these twoidiots in front of me!“So, Eddie,” Uncle Ridge put his arm over my shoulders, “You got the hotsfor the Old Man’s granddaughter?”“What!?” I was taken aback.“Oh come on, we’re family! No reason to be so reserved about this.” Hegave an understanding tone, “How far did you two go? Sending each otherletters regularly, traveling through half of Entropa together? Psssh, soundslike a pretty nice little romance is blooming, I tell ya.”“With all due respect, Uncle Dearest,” I removed his arm from my shoulders,“We’re not like that.”Thanks to his stupid little joke, I was once again reminded of the time I liedto Ms. Harper about Anna being my girlfriend. Worst part is, I said that infront of Arthur! Gahhh, I wanna curl up in a ball and die! Uuuuugh, why did Isay that!?!“Y’know, denying it is only gonna make you more conscious of her, no?” Hemisunderstood my aversion to the topic.“Just please shut up.” I begged him with a dejected tone, “I can’t take anymore embarrassment.”He looked at me with a face that screamed Ooh! I found your weak spot!, butGraal just silently shook his head at him and somehow singlehandedly madeUncle stop with his semantics. Guess that’s just how best friends are, I guess.“I-In any case, what are you two doing here?” I asked.“We’re fulfilling our childhood dream, of course!” Uncle Ridge said, “We’rebuilding a school, right here in Stringwood!”It actually took me a minute to register the incredible statement they justannounced. D-Did… Did I hear that right? A… school? IN ENTROPA?!?But schools and universities can only be found in the continent ofSimpleton! Wouldn’t that cause problems for the rest of the world if a smalllittle sub country like Secundis got a school of its very own?!“Now, now,” Graal added, “I can tell from your face that you’re unsure if thiswill work, but have faith in us. For too long has Simpleton been the onlyplace to get a proper education, and I really don’t want anyone else to haveto be sent all the way there just to learn something as essential as math,languages and art!”“I-I see.” I nodded with little to no vigor, “But Grim and I know quite a bit inall those subjects, safe from art I guess.”“Well, yeah.” Graal refuted, “But you two idiots ran away from home andbasically brute forced your way through the education system.”Well, when you put it like that…“O-Okay then.” I shakily replied, “But who, if I may ask, will teach thepeople who enroll in this school?”“We’ve gathered some of our ex-classmates who devoted themselves tobeing traveling professors to stay here and teach in a more stationary style.But we’ll be helping as well from time to time.” Uncle Ridge went on toexplain.“Procuring a building and convincing the local law enforcement was a realdrag, though.” Said Graal, “It took a lot of bribing to get to where we are, butwe persevered. But this is all for the sake of the future generation, as well asthe future of Secundis, nay, Trivis Numerica as a country!”His loud and passionate shouts garnered the attention of some bystanders, sothey went to check what was going on. Graal and Uncle quickly went into‘businessman mode’ and started advertising their new school that they’rebuilding.“I’m sure you’ve seen the construction site by now, but just in case youhaven’t,” Uncle said to the curious onlookers, “It’s just a block away, youcan even see it peeking out from beyond those buildings over there!”“And why should we send our children there?” A denier came to refute them,“How do we know you’ve got a quality curriculum?”“Well, just take a look at my dear nephew here!” Uncle used me as anexample, “He followed my teachings and look how well he turned out! He’smade all the money in the world as a traveling merchant!”I’m not really sure what he’s talking about, though. Maybe that’s what hethought I did while I was away from TN? Well, I guess it’s best not to tellhim I was actually involved in a gang then. Also, he’s treating me like I’msome mega genius scholar who he personally tutored (none of theaforementioned claims are true, by the way), so I don’t see what he stands togain from this.“Come on, Eddie, show ‘em how you got your fortune!” Uncle nudged me ashe suggested I sell a quill to someone from the crowd, “It’s a simple trick,but it’ll prove to these guys we can be trusted.”“(Besides,)” He whispered to me, “(If you do this one thing for me, I’llexcuse your sudden departure from my house all those years back, y’hear?)”“W-Well folks!” I immediately sprang into action, “Anyone here in need of awriting utensil such as a quill? Y’know what they say, one skilled quillquells any and all ill will!”They seemed to like my little tongue twister, but one fact still remained, allthese people are illiterate, ergo they’ve no need for a quill in their lives.Looks like Uncle really wanted to test me, that or he just wanted to get backat me for running away from him back at Wheats.“A-Alright then!” I decided to change my game plan, “I should probablymention why having this quill with you is the right choice to make! Eventhough it may not seem like it, I’ve been around the world. And in that time Imanaged to find a harpy, which I’ve since killed.”“A harpy?” Everyone got excited at the word, “They exist? Where? Youreally killed a harpy? Did you eat it? Was it tasty?”The crowds questions suddenly started to go off topic, so I quickly steeredthem in the right direction, “That isn’t the point. Point is, I killed the harpyand used its feathers to make this special quill with magical properties!”“Bullshit!” One member of the crowd suddenly yelled out, “I just saw thatguy hand you that quill. It’s not special at all!”“That’s cause I lent it to him, okay?!” I screamed back to shut him up, “Nowlisten, thanks to this quill, I can command any and all animals! This isbecause a Harpy is considered to be every animal’s apex predator, and thewords written with its feathers instill fear into the hearts of said animals,leading to them listening to the commands I write on them!”They seemed to buy the explanation I made up, hell yeah! Now all that’s leftis to prove it to them! I asked Graal to hand me a scrap piece of paper andsome ink, and I asked Uncle Ridge to find me an animal I could borrow.The paper and ink were procured without any issues, the animal on the otherhand…“Yo, Eddie!” Uncle rushed in with a chicken squirming about in his hands,“Will this do?”Goddammit, you idiot. You gave me the one animal that has barely anycognitive thoughts in its head. Nice going, you get a slow clap. Bravo.“Y-Yep!” I tried to hide my disappointment, “I-It’ll do…!”I wrote on the piece of paper “Fetch me the coin I’m about to toss.” and madesure everyone saw what I wrote. After that I slid the scrap of paper over tothe chicken, and while no one was looking murmured in Animal Tongue.“(Da mihi…)” I noticed I don’t know the word for ‘Coin’, “(Uhh, damihi…)”Just then, I got a flash of inspiration. I pulled out the coin from my pocket andshoved it in its face as I once again chanted the very same phrase. It finallyunderstood my intentions, and nodded accordingly (actually, it might’ve justnodded randomly. I’ve never actually tried talking to chickens before, justdogs, cats and rabbits, so this is in all actuality nothing more than a gamble).I tossed the coin and started praying to Lord Prylos. Everyone’s heartsskipped a beat the moment I threw the coin into the crowd, and patientlywaited for the chicken to make its move. It stood there for what felt like aneternity, and that eternity only made me more and more anxious.I once again muttered under my breath, as a last ditch effort, this one magicword.“(Quaeso…)”“Bene.” The chicken’s thoughts materialized in front of me.In that moment, the chicken immediately made a mad dash to the coin,pecking it off the ground almost immediately. This was then followed by itclucking its way back to me and plopping the coin in the palm of my hand.I fell back on my butt in relief, murmuring “Gratias… Gratias tibi…” overand over again. Needless to say, the crowd was ecstatic, and were nowbidding crazy amounts for the quill. Right as I was about to pick one randomperson from the crowd to give it to, though, Uncle Ridge took the quill frommy hand and pocketed it himself.“Now now,” He calmed down the over excited group, “This was only a littledemonstration, the quill has nothing to do with the school (although I must sayI’m beyond impressed). So what do you say, guys? If you send your kids tomy school, they too will be able to sell any and all things with ease and makea fortune for you as merchants!”“We’ll send them to you as soon as you open!” The crowd cheered in unison.“Hahah, glad to hear it!” Graal ushered me away while keeping the crowd atbay, ”Eddie, we’ll talk to you later about how you managed all this, but fornow you should probably hide somewhere before these guys overwhelmyou.”“I’ll do just that.” I said with a chuckle, ”Well, as long as you’ve goteverything under control over here, things should be fine. Good luck with…these guys!”“Thanks, kiddo!”After that, I got a really painful headache and really wanted to unwind a bit,so I headed straight to Arthur’s restaurant. Looks like the fatigue from thistrip is finally setting in, I need to lay down somewhere as soon as possible.Let’s just hope Arthur’s not planning anything crazy like these guys are…I’m not talking to a chicken ever again!