Vol.5 Ch.94 - Sun & Moon

Galloping through the woods, not caring at all about if I’ll be heard or not, Iran back home as fast as I could. It was the middle of the night, mostprobably someone heard me, but I didn’t care. I didn’t have the time to care.I, Lune Grimheart, just killed two innocent people. And for what? This stupidaccursed piece of paper? Fucking hell, why did I have to make something ashorrible as a pistol in the first place?!“Hah, haah…”These ragged breaths only told me just how tired I really am from thismission. Each gasp for air left me with an endless feeling of despair andguilt, so I tried to not breathe as a form of repentance. Still, the body doesn’tlisten to the mind sometimes, so I eventually fell back into the habit ofraggedy breathing.“That poor kid…”Right, that kid mentioned something I just couldn’t get out of my head. Thekid was weak and frail, but Issei and I knocked him out twice in one night.That’s gotta leave some sort of trauma behind, surely. But that’s physicaltrauma, I’m sure he’ll recover soon enough, he’s a boy after all. I’ve gottenmyself hurt plenty of times before and I still made it out without any longterm complications. The issue is the mental trauma and the years ofnightmares I inflicted on that kid. He saw what I did to those guards. He sawsomeone horrible enter his abode and kill two innocent people.Speaking of, I wonder if he knew those guards on a personal level. Maybe,maybe not, since he never called them by name or anything. But then again,how could he, I blew their heads off to smithereens, so the poor thing mightnot have even had the chance to recognize them.“Ugh… Blergh!”Upon thinking up the possibility, my body suddenly had the urge to throw uponce again. It smelled disgusting, just like last time. So this is what is insideof me? If my insides are this disgusting, then everything makes sense. Howdid this happen? How did I become a m-murderer?“I’M NOT, THOUGH!”Screaming out, I denied my fate. I didn’t want to accept the title, it’s horrible!It’s not me! I’m a traveler, an adventurer, the leader of ARA who fought sideby-side with his men for a just cause, a friend, a husband… a father. I’m allthese things and more, but I was never meant to kill another innocent being!Upon finally finding my way home, I stumble into the empty inn. No one ishere yet. Marina is still working, and she said she’ll be home later tonight,and Issei, wait, Issei?“Fuck!” I punched the wall, “Where the fuck did you go?!”Turning back around to try and find him in a panic, I’m suddenly reminded bywhat he said the moment we took off our masks.“Think you’ll be fine until we get back home? If so, let’s split up, they’llhave a harder time finding us that way.”“That fucker, leaving me to fend for myself…”What a friend he is. I saved his life, committed a horrible act and exchangedhis life for the lives of two guards, and this is how he repays me? Ugh,everyone around me is useless! Useless, useless! I try to help everyone getthrough tough times, but who helps me?! No one! I’m Lune Grimheart, thehelpful guy who fixes everyone’s problems without issue! Everyone needs aLune, but where’s my Lune, huh?! Who helps me?!“FUCK!” I punch the wall again, but this time something interesting happens.The vibrations from me hitting the walls actually causes something to fall offof the shelf. It’s a bottle of alcohol native to Cardina. I’ve seen it aroundquite a lot, so I know just how famed it is for its taste. It’s quite pricey, soAdam probably gave it to Marina to try and coax her into getting drunk orsomething.“…I’m parched…” The idea sent chills down my spine, so without thinking Idecided to partake in a couple of glasses. I heard alcohol is good for helpingyou deal with stressful situations, and apart from that I’d like to wash awaythe taste of barf from my mouth, so it all but made sense to take a few swigs.***“Lune, I’m home!” Marina’s voice echoed through the halls, “Lune?”It’s been-hick! Who knows how long since I came back. Where has shebeen?! Pr-hick! Probably flirting a-around with Adam… N-No, let’s be rrational here. She was probably clea-ugh, cleaning up the mess I made…Even still, once she entered the room, she couldn’t find any traces of me inthe vicinity. That is, until she looked down.“Lune! Are you okay?! Wait, that bottle…!”“S’right!” I mumbled in a drunken anger, “I drank it all! Yer’ prized alcohol!All gone! HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH!”I decided to take a look at her face, hoping she’d feel bad for whateverreason. Instead, reality hit me when I noticed no signs of guilt, and insteadnothing but loathing and disgust. She knew better than to sugarcoat things tome, she was happy and joyful most of the time, but she always knew when toget serious around me.“Get up.”“Fuck no.”“I said!” She dragged me by the arm, “Get… up!”She didn’t care about me not obliging, she dragged me across the entireapartment, even if it meant I would only get angry at her. Even still, shefinally let me go when we reached the bathroom.“Get up. Take a look at yourself in the mirror, you sick fuck.”I don’t know what made me listen to her in that moment, maybe it’s the factthat I loved her as a woman, so I wanted to listen to her orders. Or maybe itwas because I knew that whatever she saw most probably something Ineeded to see for myself.“What?” I gazed at my reflection, “Who’s that?!”Touching my reflection’s fingertip, I realized I wasn’t actually seeing thingsdue to my drunken state. The person on the mirror… was me. Short blackhair, pale unhealthy-looking skin, a slim-physique that showed just how muchweight I’ve lost since coming to Cardina… and amethyst purple eyes.“You’re disgusting, Sol.”Turning around to face the person who said that to me, I saw in her eyesnothing but animosity. Marina stared directly into my eyes, making sure Iknew for a fact just how horrible a Purple Iro is.If you don’t quite understand what’s happening, I’ll elaborate. As you’realready aware, all people born on this world are born with green coloredpupils. This is what is known as a Green Iro, and it signifies the exuberanceof life and the willingness to learn all sorts of new and wonderful thingsaround the world. This is common knowledge, and it has been widely-knownfor eons and eons.But one thing I haven’t yet explained is the fact that we humans have an ‘IroLife Cycle’ of sorts. Starting off at Green, we satiate our curiosity bylearning all sorts of new things. Then, after we’ve had our fill of novelty,gradually we will start to revise our previously accumulated knowledge ofthe world and either become a knowledge-hungry Blue Iro or a powerseeking Red or Grey Iro. Depending on your temper and the way you goabout things, your eyes will either become Red or Grey. No in-between.After that, you’ll most probably live your life with said color until you’reway into retirement. That’s when you start to realize just how little you’veleft to learn about this world, and becoming more and more disinterested inthe world around you, you convert to what is known as a ‘Final Conversion’.This is what a Purple Iro means.People with Purple Iros show signs of depression and a strong urge to offthemselves. If anyone ever saw a Purple Iro strolling about, said personwould mostly be met with condolences and pity. That is, if they’re old ofcourse. If the person in question is actually young, like me, then they’ll faceheavy scrutiny by the public. It’s basically like you’re saying ‘I’ve so muchleft to live for, but I’m still dissatisfied with the world!’“Had enough of the world, have you?” Marina asked with a standoffish tone,“Had your fill and now you’re gonna give up and be a good-for-nothing bum,huh?!”“Marina, I-”“Shut up!” She screamed, leaving me speechless, “…You’re not done yet.We’re young, not even 20 years old. We have our whole lives ahead of us, sowhy would you think of giving up so early?”“…It’s because…” I choked on my words, “It’s because I killed the guards,Marina.”“Didn’t you say you killed before? What makes them so different?”Her indifferent reaction to my pain really hit me in a sore spot, almostmaking me lash out, but I knew that someway, somehow, she was in the right,and I was in the wrong. So, I tackled the issue calmly after taking a deepbreath.“The people we killed before in ARA were irredeemable and ready to diefor their cause. The people here were probably just like you, working toprovide for themselves or their family. Once I killed them, I-I saw a bit ofyou in them… I, I…!”I tried to remain composed while I explained this to her, but it seems Icouldn’t take it anymore and started sobbing in an uncool way. After hearingout my side of the story, her face slowly morphed from one of anger anddisgust to something much more akin to a calm face, but her pity was stillpresent. Opting to give me a hug, she rustled my hair with an accepting sortof feeling.“Shh, shh, listen Lune. You didn’t kill anyone.”These words confused me, I was sure I blew their heads up with theFirestarter! There was no way their wounds would be survivable, but at thetime I couldn’t really think too much about it. All I could do was accept herforgiveness and softly weep in her embrace as I cried myself to sleep.***I woke up feeling a bit sluggish from last night. I remembered some bits andpieces about the night before, but all in all it could mostly be summed up as ablur. Well, this could also be because my head was in great pain. So this iswhat a hangover is like, I thought, I’m never drinking again!Going to grab a glass of water, I looked out the window. The day was sunnyand over all quite good. Turning around I went to look at the picture of Nellythat Lee saved for me I framed and put on the bedside table. Her face wascalm, her features cute, that’s my daughter alright! Well, she was sleepingthere, but I think that her sleeping face is actually enough to cure my headachein one fell swoop.Drinking away my morning hangover, I take notice of the chilly breeze I’mfeeling in my nether regions. Hmm, just what is this feeling of freedom rightnow? Eh, I’m in my underpants?! Well, that happens sometimes I guess,nothing you can do about it.Taking another swig of my glass of water, I then finally realize Marina lyingin bed in similar clothing to mine.“Pfft-!” I spit out my drink, “M-Marina! Wawawawhat are you doing?! Putsome clothes on!”“Hm? Oh, mornin’. Did you sleep well last night?”Why were we sleeping in the same bed?! Why are we both undressed?! Ugh,my head feels like it’s gonna burst…!“Marina, what’s going on?!”“You don’t remember?” She chuckled, “After you calmed down a bit, youstarted grabbing me in funny places. Well, one thing lead to another, youconfessed your feelings to me, and we did it together.”Eh?! Hold on, wait a minute! I started touching Marina in weird places?!(Sorry about that…) B-But wait, don’t go skipping over the important parts! Iconfessed?! That was meant for later, when the time was right! Please tell meyou’re joking! But wait, you’re saying you accepted the feelings of a drunkPurple Iro like myself? Were you drunk as well perhaps, woman?!“M-Might I ask… what is…it exactly?” I hoped she was just playing a prankon me.“Sex, duh.” But she quickly shot down my assumption with an honest reply.O-Oh dear, now I’ve done it… Even though I wanted to marry Marina, I stillwanted my first time to be with Cecily. Ugh, come on, if I’m gonna have myfirst time, I’d at least like to remember it clearly. I can barely remember bitsfrom the heist last night, and now you’re telling me I did this and that aswell?“Well, thanks for uhh, helping me out last night. I showed an unsightly side toyou. You’re a real angel in that regard.”“Don’t worry about it. But if you remembered all the things I did to you lastnight, you’d hardly call me an angel. I think ‘Succubus’ would be way morefitting.”Okay, now I’m scared. Just what the hell happened last night? My little guyfeels burnt out, but satisfied, so I guess no harm no foul? Well, that’s what Iwould say, but right now the guilt of cheating on Cecily is still sort of eatingaway at me.“You doing alright?”“No, I mean, kinda? Ugh, I don’t even know anymore. I love you, Marina, butas I’ve said before, I’m a married man. I still feel a bit guilty about cheatingon my wife back home.”Hearing my complaints, Marina decided to tease me a bit, as per usual, “SoI’m no good, is that it?”“That’s not it! You’re amazing!”“Oh, amazing huh…” She said with a dissatisfied tone, suggesting that wasn’tthe correct word to use.“D-Did I say amazing? I meant lovely, kind, endearing, cute, and, and…!”Hearing me panic a bit, she finally burst into a fit of laugher, “Pfft!Hahahahah, alright alright, you’ve proven your point! But going back to thetopic, I don’t think you did anything wrong.”Hearing that, I suddenly recalled her vague words from last night, “You saidsomething similar before, but I don’t quite understand what you’re saying.”“You still don’t get where I’m going with this? Haa, you’re really hopeless,aren’t you? Listen, you didn’t kill those guards, and neither did you sleepwith me, but rather Sol did.”Her phrasing made it sound like Sol and Lune were two different people,which is an interesting notion, if factually wrong. I am Lune, and Sol is just apseudonym I came up with to avoid being recognized by someone in closeproximity to the ITA. I don’t think I’m following her on this.“But then if I’m Sol, who’s Lune?” I asked as if to entertain the idea.“Lune’s still there somewhere, but the Lune I know truly and wholeheartedlybelieves in the beauty of the world. He would never convert to a Purple Iro.You’re Sol, you’ve done some bad things, but that can be liberating too, in away. I see it as a blessing in disguise. Lune would never kill another person,Lune would never cheat on his wife, but Sol would, could and did.”Ooh...! I see! Yes, I finally understand now! It’s this way of thinking that justmight help me get over the guilt I’ve been feeling all this time! Right, Lunemight not have killed those guards, but Sol knew that it was either them or theentire world getting their hands on a Firestarter Pistol! And while Lune hasCecily, Sol has Marina! It’s a perfect ratio! Well, if we look at it like that, itseems to me like Marina kinda wants to monopolize ‘me’ that way, but nowat least I can focus on convincing her to join me and Cecily together a loteasier.Right, this is how it’s supposed to be. For now, Lune Grimheart can take abreak, right now I am Sol Pandora, Marina’s significant other, the famedinventor, and the person who cares not for insignificant worries! But wait,does that mean I need to address her as Mariabelle from now on? Ugh, I stilldon’t like that name…