The Parents Have Entered the Chat

The classroom smelled faintly of chalk and desperation. After taking it “easy” for a week, Mutsuki must face the inevitable. Something he couldn’t delay anymore. The parents. Meetings, interschool waivers and whole shebang.

Mutsuki straightened the stack of attendance sheets for the fifth time in one minute. His hands were trembling. His glamour spell flickered at the edges. Youchan set a cup of warm tea beside him.

‘Deep breaths,’ she said calmly.

‘I haven’t done this before,’ he muttered. ‘Not as a student, not as a parent, let alone a teacher.’

Youchan sat beside him and listened patiently.

‘Cause I was homeschooled. If something wasn't working, teachers were replaced.’ Mutsuki frowned. ‘Remind me why it was mandatory for the parents to meet me again?’

‘Because you hypnotized a whole stadium,’ she said. ‘Parents want to talk about their children’s progress as well as get a feel of the current educator. In their words.’

‘Oh of course…’ He groaned.

Maria entered like a queen announcing the fall of a dynasty. Hair pinned perfectly, suit immaculate, clipboard glowing with magical seals.

‘Alright,’ she said sweetly. ‘Parents will be here in moments. Remember Mutsuki. Smile. And make it look like you love your job.’

Mutsuki’s smile trembled.

Maria leaned down to whisper. ‘This or going back to our family. I renounce my position as heir. You take your rightful throne.’

Mutsuki straightened up and donned his idol smile. ‘I love my job.’ 

‘Thought so. I will be sitting quietly in the corner…’ Maria warned. ‘… judging your suitability as a teacher.’

He cried internally like a champion.

The door slid open. And thus began the longest morning of his life.

A stunning kitsune woman glided in, wearing heels tall enough to qualify as a weapon. Her nine tails shimmered like polished silk. She sat down gracefully, smiled, then unleashed her feelings. 

‘My darling Gon is perfect. What exactly are you teaching him that he comes home saying the teacher is “resistant to flattery” and “immune to charm”. Are you traumatizing my baby?’

Mutsuki’s mouth was back to welcoming insects. Youchan hid a smile.

‘Ma’am, Gon is very bright—’

‘OF COURSE HE IS.’

Mutsuki waited a few seconds before he finished his sentence. I see where Gon gets the habit of raising his voice…

‘—but he has been using forbidden minor glamours to influence classmates during lessons.’

She gasped dramatically.

‘Impossible! My son is too pure to manipulate anyone!’

Mutsuki could only smile. He absolutely manipulated everyone. And will probably continue to do so in the future, being a Kitsune.

‘He also set off three emotional-pheromone charms last week.’ In an attempt to copy me, but still.

‘He calls that spreading joy.’

Mutsuki inhaled. ‘He also told Ki—’

‘If you are about to blame my foxling for something, please know that children lie.’

‘…He told me himself.’

‘And children exaggerate.’

She stood.

‘Fix your classroom environment so my angel can thrive.’

She bowed and spat at the same time while leaving the room.

Mutsuki sat frozen. Youchan patted his shoulder.

‘Don’t mind.’

Before Mutsuki could take a sip of his tea, a huge werewolf in half human form stomped in and bowed at a ninety-degree angle.

‘Sensei. Which ear should I yank? Right or left? The boy disrespected you, didn’t he? I can smell it.’

Mutsuki panicked. ‘N-no! Akashi is actually a great helper!’

The father cracked his knuckles. ‘Ha! But he misbehaved today, yes? Just tell me. I can have him doing 500 sit-ups in wolf form as penance.’

‘Sir, really, he’s fine. He just… gets competitive.’

Akashi had been clinging to Mutsuki’s sleeve all week, but that felt too personal to explain.

‘Competitive?!’ the father roared. ‘Unacceptable! He will meditate in cold water!’

‘Sir, his only issue is enthusiasm.’

‘THAT IS WORSE. HE MUST LEARN RESTRAINT!’

He slammed down a wrapped package, startling the couple in front, even Maria on the back.

‘For the teacher. Wolf jerky. Eat so you may gain strength to discipline my son. You are dressed as a woman but I can smell a real man deep inside you.’

Mutsuki stared at the preserved food while Akashi’s dad looked between Mutsuki and Youchan.

‘You, Miss Shrine maiden, must bring this man’s full potential out.’ He started. ‘Just give him a drink or—‘

Youchan took the jerky away as an excuse to step out.

Mutsuki spoke with Akashi’s dad, man to man, until he felt satisfied enough to let the next parent have a turn with Mutsuki.

A tired, soft-looking couple with gentle eyes shuffled in. They bowed politely. They haven’t even sat down completely when the father burst into tears.

‘Sensei! We’re trying our best… He hugs everything! He hugged a bus stop last week because it “looked lonely”…’

The mother dabbed her eyes with a paw-print handkerchief.

‘We… we don’t know how to discipline a child with power. We are normal humans ourselves. We never knew we were descendants of some powerful shogun with malicious bear spirit!’

The couple hugged each other as if the world around them was collapsing.

‘We are grateful for Maria-sensei for allowing our child to join this project. Er… class.’

Mutsuki glanced at Maria. Maria sipped her tea and looked away. No comment huh?

‘I-I understand,’ Mutsuki said gently. ‘Honey is very affectionate and very attuned to emotion. He just needs clear boundaries.’

‘W-we try,’ said the mother. ‘But he’s so cute!’

‘He’s too powerful too!!’ sobbed the father.

Mutsuki explained Honey’s progress and what he had in mind as a teacher. The couple hugged each other. They hugged Mutsuki. They offered to hug Youchan. Youchan politely declined.

Mutsuki took the deepest breath he can muster. I see why Honey is like that. It’s got nothing to do with his bloodline power…

‘We can see why Maria-sensei trusted you! We believe in you too, Sensei!’

Youchan eventually managed to assist the couple out, in time for the next parent. 

A tall, elegant tengu woman entered with her phone raised like a weapon.

‘Good morning, You.’

Youchan bowed to her.

‘Sensei,’ she said sternly as she approached Mutsuki directly, ‘are you familiar with the Rising Pine Discipline Method trending on Supergram?’

Mutsuki eyes blinked rapidly from the suddenness. ‘…No?’

‘It states children must be spoken to exclusively through haiku to unlock their obedience centers.’

Kojiro turned bright red behind her.

‘Please don’t!’ he begged.

His mother cleared her throat:

‘Little fledgling boy
Rules are wind beneath your wings
Clean your room or else.’

Kojiro shoved his face into his hands. Maria covered her mouth to hide her laughter. Youchan looked away politely. Mutsuki agape mouth was now ready for even birds to nest in on.

‘Please,’ Kojiro begged, ‘don’t let her talk to you in haiku!’

Too late. His mother handed Mutsuki magical papers and envelope. Only a tengu could open it, lest it bursts in flames.

‘Just leave these with You. She can deliver them to our temple when she comes around. I look forward to hearing your poetic evaluations.’

‘I… I am Mutsuki, Kojiro’s teacher. Don’t you want to speak directly? I am here now!’ Mutsuki raised his hand as he watched her walk off just as quickly as she arrived.

‘I am a busy woman. I do not have time to chatter.’

She left in a swirl of dramatic feathers. Kojiro mouthed “help me” and threw some hand signals behind him as he passed Youchan.

Kishin walked in with his dad. A stoic oni who clearly did not speak human Japanese well. The father bowed and spoke in deep oni dialect. 

Kishin gulped. ‘He says, “Hello, honored teacher. Please tell me how much trouble my son is in”.’

‘Trouble?’ Mutsuki said. ‘Kishin’s been very brave lately.’

His father replied in a rolling baritone.

Kishin translated. ‘He says, “Impossible. He cries when his rice is too soft”.’

‘Dad! Not in front of them!’

More deep oni speech. 

Kishin flushed red. ‘DAD!’

Kishin’s dad nodded and prodded him to translate.

‘He says, “Is he at least strong? Or is he like his mother’s side of the family?”’

The father continued. Kishin hid his face.

‘He says, “Tell me his sins so I may correct him”.’

‘Sir,’ Mutsuki said quickly, ‘Kishin has done wonderfully. He’s learning confidence. He’s controlling his strength. He hasn’t broken anything major lately.’

‘He broke my pencil!’ Mon yelled from the hallway.

Kishin hissed in despair. But his father’s shoulders softened. He placed a massive hand on Kishin’s head. Said something in a soft voice. Well, as soft as an oni could.

Kishin translated shyly. ‘He says… he’s proud of me.’ 

He tried to be nonchalant, but he couldn’t. He burst into tears as they were walking out. His father had to pick him up. Mutsuki and Youchan looked at each other with a sweet, appreciative smile.

Mon’s grandfather entered like a warlord avoiding retirement.

‘WHERE IS MY GRANDSON?!’

Mon jumped from behind a desk.

‘Grandpa… I’m right here…’

‘WHY DID YOU STEAL THE SHRINE’S TAPE DISPENSER AND PROTECTIVE TALISMAN?’

‘I DID NO—’he paused ‘well… Okay the talisman maybe…’

Mutsuki tried to intervene. ‘Sir, Mon is—’

‘DO YOU NEED ME TO DISCIPLINE HIM WITH TRADITIONAL TANUKI METHODS!?’

‘No!’ Mon screamed. ‘I like having bones intact!’

Mon had a few light taps here and there for taking the missing items. He explained he took the home protection talisman to protect himself from his grandpa today. It took Youchan a while to calm the old raccoon down with tea and stern eye contact. Mon was a sobbing mess by the time they left the room.

Enter a small old lady to contrast. She had cat ears and a short tail. She walked slowly then bowed gently. Her movement was peaceful. Mutsuki felt a sense of calm watching her.

She said, ‘Thank you for being kind to my unlucky grandchild.’

Mutsuki blinked in disbelief. It was Meow’s grandma.

‘She’s not unlucky in my class,’ he said warmly. ‘She’s very sweet and considerate of others.’

Meow purred loudly behind her. Her grandmother placed a hand over her heart.

‘Bless you, sensei.’

She handed Mutsuki a lucky coin.

‘I do not want to take too much of your time. Just seeing your aura in person is enough for me.’

It was the quietest, most healing 30 seconds of the entire meeting for Mutsuki.

After Meow tumbled her way out of the room while following her graceful grandma, Sumire enters with perfect posture and graceful bow. Her grandfather bows even lower, as if greeting a foreign ambassador.

‘Mutsuki-sensei,’ the elder kappa said in a deep and formal voice. ‘We thank you for shaping our princess.’

Mutsuki started to sweat profusely. Youchan serves tea. The servant places the cucumber box on the table as if offering tribute.

‘We have been informed Sumire has… splashed several classmates.’ The elder kappa started.

Sumire freezes. ‘Grandfather—’

‘We do not punish ambition,’ he declares proudly. ‘However, we do encourage… aim control.’

He then hands Mutsuki a scroll:

A full training schedule at the river, approved by the clan.

Mutsuki’s idol smile vanished. This is way too advanced… Also I am not a private tutor…

‘I trust you will guide our princess with grace,’ the elder says. ‘If she cries, we will hear it from the river. And if she shines… then the river will sing of your deeds.’

Sumire blushes at the praise. He finishes by gifting Mutsuki a cucumber wrapped in gold leaf, as a “token of respect”.

As they continue to discuss, next door, the parents began to argue. It started with Kojiro’s mother. The one who said she had to leave right away.

‘I believe Mutsuki-sensei should adopt the haiku discipline model.’

Akashi’s father snarled, ‘ARE YOU CRAZY? HE SHOULD BE USING FIRM WOLF-EAR PUNISHMENT.’

‘Haiku!’

‘Ear twisting!’

‘Emotional therapy hugs!’ Honey’s parents shouted.

‘My angel should NEVER be punished!’ cried Gon’s mother.

‘YOU ARE ALL WRONG,’ roared Mon’s grandpa. ‘TANUKI PUNISHMENT IS THE BEST—’

Maria went over to see the noise and decided she didn’t want to deal with it. She sat on the corner and watched the chaos with legs crossed, while sipping tea.

Youchan who followed her to see the commotion, whispered, ‘Are you going to stop this?’

Maria smiled. ‘No.’

They both watched as the arguing grew louder. Power auras flared. Paper charms rattled on the walls. Some kids held unto their parents, some hid.

Finally, Mutsuki excused himself from the kappa envoy to deal with the chaos personally. 

With a steady voice and light magic, he commanded, ‘Everyone… ENOUGH.’ 

Silence rippled outward like a spell. Parents and students alike froze.

‘Your children,’ Mutsuki said, ‘are extraordinary. They’re loud. They’re strange. They’re chaotic. But they’re good. And they’re learning. And I promise you, I will guide them. I won’t abandon them.’

He bowed deeply. ‘But I can’t do that unless you trust me.’

A hush fell over the room. The parents exchanged awkward glances. Honey’s father sniffled. Gon’s mother dabbed her eyes. Kishin’s father nodded solemnly. Even Mon’s grandpa settled down. Maria, in the corner, smiled proudly.

One by one, the parents apologized. Some awkwardly, some dramatically, some while crying. They bowed, thanked him, and left. Mutsuki slumped into a chair.

‘…I survived,’ he whispered.

Youchan placed her hand on his shoulder.

‘You did better than you think, sensei.’

Maria approached last.

‘Well,’ she said, clicking her pen. ‘You didn’t run away, faint, or accidentally hypnotize anyone. That’s progress.’

Mutsuki groaned. ‘Maria… why didn’t you interfere?’

Maria smirked. ‘Because I needed to see if you were serious about teaching this class. And you are.’

She tapped the papers in her hands. They were signed by the parents who approved of Mutsuki. Each one had a glowing recommendation at the bottom.

‘Seems like I’ll have to hold on to the Kuroyanagi family heir title for a while. Welcome to the Misfit Academy, Mutsuki-sensei. Officially.’