How I Met Yui

A boy at my elementary school was frustrated.

I didn’t know his group well enough; it was only later, during our collective remediation, that I learned his crush rejected him because she liked me. It was because of my intellect rather than my looks.

I strongly doubted this was the reason behind the weight of his fists, but as I said, I never cared to know about my elementary school bully.

Little was I also unaware that my bark was fiercer than my fists. It was a rottweiler versus a chihuahua. I was reminded of this every week, at the neighborhood park.

There was a girl who frequented this same park, whom I could only assume was truant, homeschooled, or homeless. She smelled repulsive compared to other schoolgirls, but I didn’t mind. She was never near me anyway.

There was one day when things went too far.

I was so lame. But Yui still thanked me for backing her up, despite my cowering behind her back as she stood up for me.

Her stepping in to save me was significant. I would never forget it, the hits she took before I could react.

No gift was greater than meeting her.

It’s said that a single person could change you for life. That reigned as the perfect truth with the world that bloomed between us.

She was poor at the time, and I would cook meals for her. As we befriended each other, I would frequent her shack of an apartment.

The first thing I bought with my allowance from our family store was a ring. A cheap metal one that imitated gold. I didn’t know the significance behind them, but they were cool, and the girls around me liked jewelry. It didn’t fit her finger when I presented it to her.

Little did I know Yui had a ring for me too. It was bent from a straightened-out paper clip. It was adjustable. It was better.

First kisses were often the worst. That didn’t mean they weren’t the best.

Those dream-like days all came to an end at the start of middle school.

You could only see your crush for half the time starting today... No one in their right mind would accept that.

How about: You could never see your crush again? And that went both ways?

Closeness only hurt when something was lost. Like a puppy who lost its kitten best-friend, this was embedded in my mind when Yui moved away.

Even when turning down the other girls interested in me, I understood how much pain this distance could cause. Even if not seeing each other in school, that was more than half a day’s waking hours gone.

From here on, I would spend zero waking hours with Yui. For years.

My liveliness became closed in.

It was during this time that I began to allow myself to stare further into the abyss.

Being constructively critical. Even the food cooking videos I would later come to produce hinged on this as my brand. Being smartly selective in the cooking world was seen as a favored and renowned talent. It just so happened that I was also doing this to my own feelings.