Chapter 29: The Monster That Looks Like Me

The light outside hit her with a sharp brightness, slicing into her eyes, burning her skin, and rattling the cage of her skull. Every sound, every color, every motion on the street clawed at her senses until she felt flayed and alive by the simple act of stepping into daylight.

The yellow coat clung to her as if it were part of her body that was heavy, frayed and dragging with her limping leg.. She pulled it tighter, as if it could shield her from the blinding world, and forced herself down the corridor of the deposit. Each step echoed like judgment.

The card trembled in her hand. One beep, that sounded clinical and final, and the box unlocked with a mechanical sigh. Her gloved fingers closed around its contents.

Then she was back at home immediately, slamming the door shut behind her, and sealing out the light, the noise, and the chaos. One bolt, then another, as if each lock could keep her own thoughts from forcing their way in. The scarf came off, the blanket, and the endless layers of fabric she had wrapped around herself. She stripped them with urgency, as if her body might suffocate beneath the weight of protection.

In the hidden room, her hand found the ankle of Sue's skin which was delicate beneath the glove, and fragile as porcelain. Elisabeth dragged her into the open, into the unforgiving light of the window. Sue's body was limp, passive, an offering she both dreaded and demanded. Her head struck the hard floor on the way accompanied by a sound like a gunshot in Elisabeth's skull. She flinched but didn't stop.

Box 503 shattered in her hands. The note inside stared back at her with its cold apology:

We are sorry you didn't appreciate your experience with The Substance.

And beneath it, was the vial of black liquid. A word stamped across its glass: TERMINATION.

Her heart convulsed as she touched Sue's chest of the place where the needle would go. The syringe was suddenly immense in her hands like a promise and then she raised it above her with trembling hands.

Are you sure?

The voice wasn't in the room. It was inside her skull, coiling around her thoughts, digging sharp edges into her resolve.

Once you stop, you can't go back.

Her gaze fixed on Sue's chest that was still and peaceful, it felt so obscene. The temptation of that rhythm pulled at her, and mocked her.

You will simply remain on your own.

Her body shook. She tried to hold the syringe steady, but her vision blurred.

JUST ON YOUR OWN…

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" she screamed, her voice a crack of thunder in the empty apartment.

JUST ON YOUR OWN…

The scream dissolved into action. She drove the needle down into Sue's chest. The plunger moved beneath her fingers, terribly pressing poison into the heart.

Ba boom… ba boom… ba… boom…

Each heartbeat stretched into eternity. And then, Elisabeth froze.

Her eyes locked on something beside the roses. The note card. Its words burned into her as if written in fire:

THEY'RE GOING TO LOVE YOU.

Her throat closed. The syringe slipped from her grip. Tears spilled fast, unstoppable, while streaking her face. She crumbled to the floor beside Sue, her body convulsing with sobs, the years of grief and rage erupting at once. She pressed her hands to her face but it couldn't dam the flood. The sound of her own pain filled the apartment.

And still, through the blur of her tears, the card remained visible with a condemning presence.

Elisabeth's hands shook as if they belonged to someone else, someone out of control."I can't… I can't…" Her voice fractured, breaking apart like brittle glass. The words scraped her throat raw. "I hate myself… I need you."

Her fingers clutched at Sue's shoulders, desperate, while trembling. She shook her with a fevered urgency that bordered on violence. "I need you!"

Sue's body gave nothing back. No resistance. No breath. No warmth. Just stillness.

A sound like a child whimpering leaked from Elisabeth's chest as she bent close, her ear almost brushing Sue's lips, searching for the miracle of breath. She found nothing but silence.

Her heart raced, stuttering into panic. She pressed her mouth against Sue's, exhaling air with ragged rhythm, pounding her chest with both hands."One… two… three… four…" she counted, her voice cracking between each number. "Forgive me. I was out of my mind… one… two… three… four…"

The confession slipped out before she could stop it. "You're the only interesting part of me. You're the perfect one."

And then came blood. A single line at first, then more, sliding out of Sue's nose in a red thread, thickening into a trickle. Elisabeth recoiled with a choked cry.

"No. No, no, no, no…"

She stumbled to her feet, nearly colliding with the doorframe, and bolted into the bathroom. Her fingers fumbled clumsily at the counter, knocking bottles over until she clutched the switch pipe. Clutching it to her chest, she raced back and dropped to her knees beside Sue, frantic.

"We have to get you ready…" Her voice had taken on a manic brightness, like a performer preparing for stage. "This is our big night!"

She hooked the pipe, forcing the mechanism into place, watching the blood circulate mechanically through Sue's veins, red surging where there had been none. But Sue's chest remained still.

Elisabeth screamed through clenched teeth. "C'mon!!! They're gonna love you!!"

In fury, she yanked the needle from Sue's arm and, with a wild, decisive thrust, drove it straight into her chest. The scream tore itself from Elisabeth's body as she stabbed: "C'MON!"

For a split second, nothing. Then came a sudden movement. Sue's rib cage heaved violently, like something trapped inside her body had just fought its way out. Blood erupted from her mouth, spattering Elisabeth's face in warm, copper-scented drops.

Elisabeth froze. Her body recoiled backward on instinct, stumbling, leaving her crouched in the corner of the room like a startled animal as her pulse thundered in her ears.

Sue's eyes were open.

So were hers.

The silence that followed was heavier than any scream.

Sue sat upright with a convulsion, her breath ragged with an unfocused gaze. She didn't seem to know who or what she was in that moment. Elisabeth's lips parted, but no words would come.

They stared at each other, not just looking, but searching. Each face was a mirror to the other's disbelief, their horror, and their longing.

Time stretched. A long, unbearable beat in which the world seemed suspended and weightless. Both women were activated, alive and raw, held together in a gaze that threatened to break them apart.

And then Sue's eyes flickered downward. The "termination" vial gleamed faintly against the floor.

A suspended beat.

The living room felt too small, and too close, as Sue lunged forward. Elisabeth barely dodged, heart slamming against her ribs, and scrambled deeper into the apartment. Something, anything as her hand snatched a glass ornament from the table and she hurled it back without aiming. It shattered against Sue's cheekbone with a sharp crack. Elisabeth didn't stop to see if it had hurt her; she stumbled, breath tearing in ragged gasps, and forced her legs to move.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. The word hammered inside her skull as she scrambled upright. Sue's footsteps thundered after her, relentless.

Elisabeth's fingers closed around the nearest object of a heavy trophy that glittered dully in the dim light. She swung with every ounce of fear in her body. But Sue ducked, quick as a predator, and wrenched the weapon free with violent ease. The sharp edge scraped Elisabeth's knuckles as it was torn from her hand.

And then Sue was on her.

A savage thrust to her gut knocked the air from Elisabeth's lungs; pain exploded through her chest as she careened backward, her body slamming into the framed poster behind her. The glass shuddered in its frame but did not break.

The fight was no longer human, it was raw and primal. Creator versus creature. Hunter versus hunted. Survival stripped of reason.

Sue's fingers locked around Elisabeth's throat as her nails dug into the skin gripping her with an unyielding force. Elisabeth gagged as her body convulsed, the edges of her vision blurring to gray. Her free hand clawed at the air, desperate, frantic, until it struck the cold base of the lamp on the side table.

She seized it, lifted it and Crushed it down.

The bulb burst with a violent crack, and a flash of electricity seared the air. Sue screamed, her body jerking as the current surged through her. The strangling grip loosened. Elisabeth staggered free, coughing, throat raw, vision swimming.

Then she ran.

The corridor tilted beneath her feet, her body heavy with terror. Behind her, Sue's footsteps pounded the floor, steady, relentless, like death itself.

Elisabeth threw herself into the bathroom and slammed the door, twisting the lock with shaking hands as her chest heaved, her lungs clawing for air.

On the other side, Sue's boot smashed against the wood. Once. Twice. Then the frame shuddered and the lock rattled.

The door wouldn't last.

Elisabeth's eyes darted around the cramped bathroom, desperate for something to shield herself. Her palms slid clumsily across the cold ceramic and she found a weapon, something she could use to protect herself as her pulse hammered so loudly in her ears that it drowned out every rational thought. The heavy oak cabinet seemed like her last hope; then she shoved her shoulder against it, straining to force it against the door.

But she was too late.

The door exploded inward with a deafening crash, splinters snapping through the air. Sue's silhouette filled the frame, a storm in human form. Elisabeth barely had time to gasp before Sue's fist connected with her jaw.

The impact flung her backward and her skull cracked against the corner of the earthenware sink, white sparks flaring across her vision. Pain radiated down her spine as her body collapsed to the floor with useless limbs, and her breath knocked from her lungs.

She tried to gather herself, clutching at the floorboards for balance, but Sue was already upon her. Fingers tangled in her hair, yanking her upright like a broken doll.

The mirror loomed before them as their reflections stared back, two women bound together in violence, eyes locked in something far older than the moment. For a fleeting second, Elisabeth thought she saw herself not as she was, but as Sue was: consumed, merciless, and monstrous.

Then Sue smashed her face into the glass.

The mirror cracked, spiderwebs of fracture running outward. Blood spilled hot and sticky from Elisabeth's brow. Her breath caught, but before she could find words, BAM! Another blow. Her face collided again with the mirror.

Her lips trembled, blood mixing with spit as she tried to form words."Stop... we are o—"

CRASH. Another slam cut her plea short. Her mouth tore open further, words dissolving into meaningless sound.

Sue no longer resembled a woman at all, but a force of rage, blind and unrelenting. Her movements came in frenzied rhythm, a trance of destruction as Elisabeth tasted only blood and glass.

With a burst of instinct, Elisabeth wrenched herself free, staggering away from Sue's grip, running through the hallway to the living room.

She crawled, dragging her battered body forward. Her breath rattled in her chest, each inhale flecked with copper. The carpet burned against her raw skin as she inched toward escape.

Sue's shadow stretched across the walls, closing in. Then followed another impact. One final blow sent Elisabeth soaring, crashing into the coffee table. Glass erupted around her like a storm of knives.

She landed hard with a heaving chest as the shards bit into her flesh. She tried to rise, but her body betrayed her. Her arms trembled, and her legs refused to answer.

Sue stood over her, and the kicks began.

Each one jarred her spine, forced coughs of blood from her throat, painted the rug darker and darker. Elisabeth's body twisted under the punishment, every nerve screaming. But Sue's rage only grew, her movements mechanical, merciless, and animalistic.

Then came a sudden silence..

The pool beneath Elisabeth widened, spreading like ink, swallowing her. Her movements stilled. Her body slackened into unnatural silence, with the stillness of something that would not rise again.

Sue froze.

She looked down at the spreading blood as if hypnotized, her own chest heaving, and her pupils wide with terror. Slowly, as though waking from a dream, she realized what she had done.

And in that moment, the world seemed to wither.

A palm tree in the distance shed its leaves.

Everything was her. Everything was Elisabeth. And she had just killed it. She had killed herself.