The Girl Behind The Wall

There’s a certain kind of sickness that spreads among people with empty wallets and heavy hearts.

A delusion that money will make you happy.

That fame will make you loved.

That success will make you whole.

People cling to this sickness the way someone drowning clings to driftwood, convinced that wealth will carry them to shore.

But the truth is.. money is not going to make you float.

The only thing it does… it makes the water feel warmer while you’re sinking.

By: Me - Ren Sukegawa aka. Renno. Biggest gaming streamer and biggest gaming JodyTuber in japan.

Am I normally that philosophical? Not really.

But being in the position I am.. I can say that I learned all of that the hard way.

Being famous and having loads of money drained almost every ounce of joy out of me. I spent years trying to figure out the algorithm on JodyTube. And when the views finally started to rise, I wanted even more. So I figured out new ways to boost engagement on my videos. I did that for years. Until one random day, where I finally had a realization out of nowhere.

I dont want to do this anymore.

I’m burnt out.

I’m.. not happy.

I sacrificed years of my life, so that people can watch dumb content. It almost felt like I was reacting to life itself. Reacting to me doing all these things. It went by so fast. I didn’t really live at all.

Some would say that I’m depressed.. which is funny, considering thousands of people watch me pretend to have fun every day. If I told my chat how I really feel, they would probably spam “skill issue”.. The youth these days is crazy. Still, they are my source of income.. so I can’t really complain.

I stopped daily-streaming. I tried doing 4 times a week since the moment of my realization.

I was hoping for this to cure me.. and it started to get a little better..

But then.. 2 months ago, the last drop of water fell.. and the already overflowing cup of depression finally spilled over.

My address got leaked.

Fans showed up at my door demanding selfies, reporters from random magazines popped up like NPCs in a bad open world game..

At first, I thought I could survive this situation without moving. I stopped streaming so they would forget. People forget crazy fast these days. In a few weeks, new topics will be all over the media. The only thing I have to do? Stay inside.. like I usually do. It wouldn’t have been that different. I swim in money and I’m socially awkward.. What did you expect? That I go shopping?

But then, the delivery guys started ringing the doorbell while fans were hiding in the hallway.. waiting for me to open the door. Every time I did, flashlights hit me like paparazzi at a red carpet. Some lunatic even posted a DingDong titled “Catching Renno in 4k” which got 2 million views.

So, yeah. I moved.

I left Tokyo behind and came to a smaller town. My old hometown. Of course, I could’ve bought a house. I could buy 10 or more actually.. But I decided to rent the apartment right next to my parents instead. When my streaming career took off, I thought I wanted distance from them.

Now?

I just want to hear my mom scolding me for not eating enough again.

After these two months off, I told my fans I’d return in a few weeks. I wanted to stream again after moving, but at a slower pace.

The move wasn’t what required waiting though.. it would take me two days, tops.

What I really needed was rest.

A chance to remember what silence sounds like…

after months of strangers treating my hallway like it was some kind of rare Pordy-Mon spawnpoint.

But..

Silence?

So I thought…

I’ve been in my new apartment for 2 days now, and I already have a new problem. At night.. my neighbor goes completely NUTS.

She yells, cries, laughs.. sometimes it sounds like all at once. Sounds I can’t even describe. But the walls are thick, I can’t really hear what she’s saying.

My guess? She’s probably gaming all night with her friends.

And honestly? I can’t even be mad. That used to be me. I remember yelling at random teammates at 3am like my life depended on that ranked match.

So instead of complaining, I just put on noise-cancelling headphones and let her be.

2 weeks passed. I never once saw her outside. Typical hardcore-gamer.

Then, one day, as I was heading out to have dinner with my family, I finally saw her. Or atleast, caught a glimpse.

She was trying way too hard not to look at me. Mask, sunglasses, hoodie, and even a cap. Basically the full “please dont perceive me” starter pack. Well, it actually made her stand out even more..

It was summer btw.. A Hoodie in summer. Peak fashion or pure paranoia.. couldn’t tell.

But what really stood out… was her belly.

She was pregnant.

A pregnant, mysterious gamer girl.

Now that’s something you dont see in your ranked lobbies.

—-----------------------------

I decided to start streaming again. I thought I’d lose all my viewers after being offline for almost 3 months, but apparently, getting doxxed boosts your popularity. The internet is wild.

80 thousand live viewers. A personal record.

Everything went perfectly.. until… KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

I froze mid-sentence. My chat didn’t notice, so I told them I was going to the bathroom and muted the mic. The knocking came again.

At first, I thought it was my parents bumping against the wall which connects our apartment.. maybe an emergency… but the sound was coming from my neighbors wall.

“She has to be kidding me.” I muttered. It was 3pm. I wasn’t even loud.

Sure, I talk a little louder during streams, but come on.

I ignored it and kept playing.

Two minutes later… KNOCK KNOCK

Again

Chat didn’t notice, so I kept going, pretending everything was fine.

Until…. DING DONG

She can’t be serious.

I sighed, paused the game, told chat my food is here, and went to the door.

And there she was.. the mysterious neighbor.

She wasn’t in full disguise this time, just a simple mask. No sunglasses and all that.

But even with half her face covered, she was beautiful.

If she hadn’t started speaking like a karen, I probably would’ve fallen in love instantly.

“Don’t you have any respect for your neighbors?” she said, voice trembling with anger.

“.........Pardon?”

“You’ve been talking loudly for hours! Some people are trying to sleep.”

“Uh.. it’s 3pm?” I raised an eyebrow. “You do realize that, right? Shouldn't you be gaming with your friends at this hour? Not screaming at 3am like you usually do?”

She froze. Even behind the mask, I could tell she was blushing.

Maybe she just realized what a hypocrite she sounded like.

“I… I’m sorry.” she stammered. “That was rude. I just…. need some rest, that’s all.”

“Rest, huh? Yeah, I bet. Maybe you should stop gaming all night.”

“Do you really hear that every night?”

“Sure do.”

“Why didn’t you say anything? I thought the place was soundproof. Before you moved in, it was empty for ages. I didn’t realize I was being this loud.. I'm so sorry!!”

She was red as a tomato now, bowing slightly.

She didn’t even seem to recognize me, which was refreshing honestly.

“It’s fine.” I said. “I’ll try to keep it down a bit today.”

She smiled.. or.. at least her eyes did.

“You’re really nice. I’m really sorry for snapping like that.. must be the hormones, you know?”

“You’re the first pregnant woman I’ve ever talked to, so no, I don’t know.” I said. “But I’ve seen enough dramas to assume you’re right.”

She chuckled. “Did you even go to school?”

Her laugh was contagious. I found myself smiling for the first time in weeks. Talking face to face felt.. weirdly nice.

It had been ages since I had a normal conversation with someone my age. Offline, I mean.

“Well,” I said “it was nice finally meeting my neighbor. Just, please.. no more wall-knocking, okay?”

“I promise! And I’ll try to keep it down at night, but…” She looked away, fidgeting with her hands. “No promises.”

Cute

That’s a real gamer girl for you. Self-awareness level: maxed out. She knows the gaming addiction is hard to overcome.

“Just make sure you take care of yourself… and the baby.” I said. “Sleeping occasionally might help, especially at night, you know.”

She made an awkward chuckle.

She didn’t reply, just bowed and headed back inside her apartment.

Guess I hit a nerve. Maybe the baby thing was a touchy subject.

Come to think of it.. it seems like she lives alone..

So what’s the deal with the father?