Chapter 1

Faint white flakes touch down on the dry grass in the schoolyard. It’s snowing, which would usually make Kenji happy, but he prefers it not to snow today.

The minute hand on his wrist-watch has nearly made its full rotation— the school day is almost over.

Although Writing is Kenji’s favorite class, it is also the last obstacle before he can see Haruko.

The moment the bells ring through the school, a firework that’s been ignited since last night’s messaging with Haruko has finally set off in his chest.

He’s usually the last to leave class to avoid the overflowing traffic in the hallways, but he can’t be a moment late from their designated meeting time.

Kenji bashes his knee against his desk as he heaves himself up, causing his messy stack of books to fall off the edge where it sat.

The sudden thunderous clatter against the marble floor startles his classmates. They turn to Kenji, some with a look of concern, others with annoyance.

His lips twitch into a smile, his jaw cramping from such an unfamiliar action. However, inside he is crying silently.

He snatches his books, nearly losing control of them as he rushes to see Haruko.

Meanwhile, Haruko is under a Prunus tree in the school garden, touching its aged bark in her small hand. The bark’s grooves fit her hand perfectly, as if they were one and the same.

So delighted with the fact, Haruko is unaware of Kenji peeking from a corner from afar.

Kenji observed his wrist-watch, and he’s fourteen seconds late. His tardiness had bored Haruko so much that she’d stare at a tree.

Kenji isn’t suitable for Haruko, so he must leave.

Kenji turns to leave, but he should see Haruko.

Kenji turns to see Haruko, but he isn’t suitable for Haruko, so he must leave.

Kenji turns to leave, but a dove flies into his head.

Alerted by a manly squeal, her attention snaps to the noise.

“Kenji!”

Haruko’s perfect smile makes Kenji’s heart bleed.

Despite the frigid air aching their joints, they sit shoulder to shoulder under the Prunus tree, its branches almost fully undressed.

Kenji has planned conversation-starters since Haruko asked to meet him in the school’s garden last night. Despite the countless mental rehearsals, they now fall flat in Haruko’s presence.

His conversation skills aren’t enough for someone like Haruko, so they remained seated until she broke the silence.

“This Prunus tree is my favorite tree!”

Why is it her favorite tree?

“Because it’s the prettiest!”

The Prunus tree isn’t as pretty as Haruko.

“Compared to other trees, these trees live for oh-so many years. Yet, even though this one’s an ornamental tree, it still produces prunes!”

Kenji finally turns to a Haruko gazing at the bony branches above their heads.

It’s not the only pretty plum tree in the area, but Haruko visits this tree whenever she can.

And it’s too old to fulfill its most redeeming qualities.

It’s far from beautiful for The Perfect Haruko.

“Even in its final moments, it strives to be pretty for others. That’s what makes it beautiful.”

It’s beautiful for The Perfect Haruko.

Despite its aging flaws, Haruko can still see its beauty.

“So it deserves to be seen by others until its very end.”

Because of her words, Kenji holds Haruko’s hands.

They never didn’t hold hands before, but this is Kenji’s first time reaching for hers first.

Her tired, pen-calloused fingers lock with his, and any chills Kenji had from the cold outdoors has dissipated from Haruko’s warmth— just from holding hands.

There’s so much grace in Haruko’s features, like the dimples that form on her soft cheeks when she smiles, or her long blonde hair falling over her eyes.

Haruko hates her small, red-tipped nose because her family always jokes about it at family reunions. But to Kenji— that’s his favorite feature about her.

He loves all the things that make her Haruko.

Kenji wants more moments like these.

Haruko has been studying really hard for university admissions exams to get into a very good school. She’s been at it every day for the past few months, so small moments like these are scarce commodities.

Meanwhile, Kenji isn’t smart or ambitious enough for university, so he spends his free time reading manga.

There’s nothing special about Kenji. He is flawed, far from Haruko’s perfection.

Kenji must change.

As Haruko stands, Kenji follows.

The little free time she had has been wasted on Kenji. She must return home to study.

Haruko begins to walk, not unleashing her hand from his until her arm can’t extend any longer.

If time could freeze, Kenji thought, he’d want it to be now.

It isn’t fair that Haruko can give Kenji happiness, but Kenji can’t give her happiness. He must become more worthwhile for her sake.

Kenji stops at a 7/11 on his way home, picking up magazines on male actors/models he found handsome.

He doesn’t like to go home until he’s tired enough to sleep immediately, even if it's freezing outside. But he needs to become more worthwhile for Haruko.

Kenji holes himself in his room, tucking the tablecloth around his body for any extra warmth as he flips through the pages of the magazines.

*fweck* *fweck* *fweck*

‘...the audience roars as ___ slicks his hair while standing on the red carpet. Handsome and arrogant!’

‘Latest: Hottest male lead star ___ from love-drama is trending on LaterGram after his sexy raging outburst— his character pushing female lead into a locker before making out after a dispute.’

‘HOTTEST! ___ surprises fandom on his latest LaterGram post with a massive bulge in his gray sweatpants after sweaty gym-sesh! His followers are crushing over his subtle yet abrasive confidence.’

Kenji couldn’t do these things in his fairest dreams. Haruko would be happier with these men.

He settles in front of a mirror.

The reflection of his uncovered sunken-chest and his thin arms cause him to cringe. A bleak contrast to the men’s physiques in the magazines.

Kenji rehearsed lines he saw on the papers that would make Haruko happy.

“To live without you would be torture.”

“I’d give up all ages of this world to spend a lifetime with you.”

“This world is crap, but I’m willing to go through some diapers for you.”

Kenji came up with the last one. He can picture it in the magazine– ‘hottest lines from men this week… bold and spicy.’

Kenji flinches at the sound of his father’s bedroom door slamming open and shut.

Kenji must calm his father down.

He pulls out his pocket-journal and writes his father’s name as the headliner, then begins writing the right words that describe his father.

Stinky

Mean

Dirty

Sick

Kenji rips the page off the pocket-journal’s spine and slides the note under his father’s bedroom door.

The slamming has ceased.

There is a long-moment of silence that follows that would only be interrupted when Kenji squeals.

He had forgotten to write the right words for Haruko.

Kenji shakes his pen before pressing it against a new page, headlined ‘Haruko,’ and he began writing.

Love

Warm

Excellency

Kind

Smart

Healthy

He closes his journal satisfied.

Kenji jumps into bed, curling himself to fit the entirety of his body underneath the tablecloth.

When he feels too cold, he thinks of Haruko because her name alone is enough to heat his frigid house.