Now Then

Today was Saturday. I didn’t know why I knew this, but my brain picked up on it, so I rolled over in my bed, knowing that I didn’t have to get up to work. The blanket wrapped around me felt so soft yet unfamiliar, shielding me from the ever increasing cold of each day gone by.

Yesterday I went to Oktoberfest with Rachel, we ate, we talked, we went on the ride; it was an enjoyable time for both of us, I think. After that, I got a little too drunk. Then I asked Rachel to go to her place. And when we got there, for some reason, I asked to sleep with her. And then...

I sprang up from the bed and looked around. Even though my vision was not clear, I could see that it was indeed not my bedroom. I fumbled around for my glasses and found them on the nightstand; I must’ve put them there before going to bed.

Last night I got so drunk that I fell asleep without even changing my clothes. And seeing that I woke up on what I assumed to be Rachel’s bed meant that Rachel and I might have slept together last night.

I couldn’t answer that question. The only one who knew that would be Rachel, and she was nowhere to be seen. So I got up from the bed and left the room.

And then I found Rachel after I walked down the stairs and through the hallway. She was in the living room, all dressed up, as she was sprinkling the fish food into the rectangular tank.

“Oh, you’re up! Good morning, Lena.” She twisted the bottle of fish food shut.

“Good morning, Rachel,” I replied. “Are you going out somewhere?”

“Yeah, I have a shoot today.”

No wonder she was all dressed up today. It was a shame since I wanted to see her in loungewear, but getting to see her would always be a pleasure, so I didn’t mind it at all.

“There are sandwiches I made in the kitchen. If you don’t want them, there’s a pub that serves breakfast nearby.”

Not only did she let me stay over, she even made me breakfast, even though she didn’t have to. How kind of her.

“Okay.”

Rachel left after she gave me directions to a street I was familiar with. I decided to have some sandwiches in the kitchen; it was her cooking after all, so I wanted to try.

I ate the sandwiches in silence as I took in the surrounding view. I thought that her place was weirdly decorated until I realized that she decorated it with souvenirs from the movies she starred in. This miniature train was modeled after Holiday Railroad’s train, this jacket was from the series Run, Emilia Run, and this commemorative plaque was from Star, Guitar and Me, one of my favorite movies!

Seeing them all in one place like this somehow evoked a sense of pride within me, even though I wasn’t the one who earned them. Maybe I could claim a part of that feeling since I was a long time supporter of hers.

Another fact that I was surprised to learn was that she kept fishes as pets. There were guppies; some were red, some were multicolored, and some were even transparent; all living in a rectangular tank well decorated with luscious plants and stones, and ceiling lights and an oxygen pump hooked up for those little creatures. It seemed like she put a lot of time and care into this little ecosystem; the fishies swimming around, eating food without a care, was the result of effort.

After I finished the sandwich and took a shower, I left Rachel’s place. I didn’t want to overstay my welcome because technically, I wasn’t invited.

Riding on a bus after I got on the street, my phone dinged, so I pulled it out to see who had texted me.

“How did last night go?”

It was a message from Kayle.

“It was fun.”

“Did anything interesting happen?”

“We slept together.”

Oh, right. Only now did I realize that I forgot to ask Rachel whether we slept together or not. So I added “I think...” to my message before I pressed send.

“What do you mean by I think?”

As I was typing out a response, my bus was arriving at my stop. I scrambled to type a message to let Kayle know that I was getting off.

“Sorry, getting off bus.”

Later this evening, we would be together on a call anyway. Ever since Kayle watched the first episode of Rune Hunters, she got so addicted to it that she could barely fight the temptation to read the novel. So now we would get on a call to talk about the show after the episode ended. I was excited to see Kayle’s reaction to the next episode because I knew that this one would be good.

***

The second episode of Rune Hunters began. It started off from a cliffhanger from the last episode, where the protagonist’s father was killed. The story continued as the distraught protagonist vowed to get revenge for his father, so he decided to learn about the magical runes.

In this scene, Lesley taught the protagonist about the runes by demonstration. She showed how they worked by chanting spells to activate them, and showed how each rune had different types of magic.

That scene came out way better than I could have imagined. Everything from the acting, the camera work, the visual effects, and the soundtrack, all blended together to make such a phenomenal scene. However, as I was watching the scene, I felt like my heart wasn’t sitting in the right place. A vague sensation that felt more akin to an emotion that I’d been feeling as of late.

I squeezed my thumb to suppress that vague feeling as I watched the people on the screen exchange playful banter as they practiced magic, imagining what it would be like if I was in that scene.

As I let the credits roll, I pulled out my phone and texted Rachel, sending praises and thoughts on the episode as usual.

After I sent all those messages to her, I was reminded of a question that’s been lingering in the back of my mind since the moment I woke up.

“Did we sleep together last night?” I wrote before I pressed send.

Ten minutes passed by, and she didn’t read. I was regretting my decision to send her that message, so I hovered my finger over the delete button, contemplating whether I should delete it or not. But I was interrupted by a message from Kayle asking if I was ready for a call. That message was the last push for my decision, so I quickly hopped on a call with her, leaving the message for Rachel and forgot about it until it came back to bite me.

“The second episode! Oh my God, the second episode!”

Skipping the greeting, Kayle went ahead and shared her thoughts about the episode. It was honestly hard to filter out spoilers for her since that episode contained a lot of information that was relevant even until the end.

“...You seem tired today, Lena.”

Her comment came out of nowhere. Today I didn’t do anything in particular that would make me tired; I only came home from Rachel’s place, played some game, and then watched Rune Hunters. So what would make her think that I was tired?

“Why would you say that?”

“I don’t know. You don’t look as excited as usual to talk about this show.”

She must’ve been mistaking me trying not to spoil her on the story for being tired. But then again, there was a weird sensation in my chest while I was watching the show, and that might’ve been the thing that made me tired without me realizing.

“I don’t know. I felt... weird while I was watching the show.”

“Did you eat something weird?”

“I don’t think so.” I shook my head.

“How did it feel?”

“It felt uncomfortable in my stomach, like, I was feeling anxious but not really... I don’t know...”

Kayle hummed as she nodded her head, a weird gesture to show that she was thinking.

“What scene were you watching?”

“The scene where Lesley’s teaching Merrick about runes, why?”

The moment I answered, Kayle snapped her finger.

“I knew it. You’re jealous!”

My brows raised. There was no sign pointing to that. Who would I be jealous of?

“Jealous of what?”

“Jealous that Merrick is flirting with Lesley!” Kayle smirked.

“Why would I be jealous of that?”

“It’s simple. I bet you saw Rachel as Rachel back then, so you get jealous when she’s flirting with some random guy!”

She might be right. For a moment there, I wasn’t able to see Rachel as Lesley, but why would I feel that way towards her?

“Man, I never thought I would ever get to see you like this. Things are getting good, huh? Oh, now that we’re talking about Rachel, you better tell me about your date with her!”

“It wasn’t a date.”

I retold our night out to Kayle.

“Hmm... Getting drunk on a date isn’t a good move, Lena. But overall, you’re doing well!”

“Like I said, it wasn’t a date.”

“Anyway, just keep me updated on whatever is going on with you and Rachel, okay?”

We talked about nothing in particular for a bit before we ended the call.

Kayle seemed to be interested in me and Rachel for some reason, not that it was a problem or anything. The real problem was, why did I feel that way towards Rachel? She was my friend, so why would I feel jealous that she was flirting with someone? Sure, I might’ve felt it sometimes when Kayle already had an appointment with her friends, but it was far stronger when it came to Rachel.

As I dug through my brain to find an answer, my phone dinged again. This time it was from Rachel. A smile appeared on my face as I readjusted my posture and read her message. All while trying to ignore that message I sent to her.