The Pain of Loss - Part 2

Some time had already passed since Yu went off to face the Beast King on his own.

How much time had passed? I don’t know. As soon as he left, I wandered aimlessly through the facilities until exhaustion finally overcame me, and I sat down, leaning against one of the walls while hugging my knees.

It was just like that day at the academy. I was vulnerable, overwhelmed by the situation, but unlike back then, this time he would not come to help me.

I pushed away the only person who had genuinely cared about me since my older sister. I’m the worst.

“Touka, I finally found you,” someone said from a distance.

I didn’t even bother turning around. I just buried my face deeper into my knees, but from his voice I could immediately tell who it was. His calm tone, almost devoid of visible emotion, was unmistakably characteristic of Mr. Kuroki.

“Where is Yu? I’ve been looking for him. I need to talk to him.”

“He… left,” I replied in a barely audible voice. “He went to face the Beast King.”

“He went alone?!” he exclaimed in shock, but quickly returned to his usual tone. “No matter how strong he is, that thing is a monster. Facing it is madness, and doing so alone is practically a death sentence.”

He was right. The Beast King was capable of commanding an army of magical beasts of every existing rank, not to mention that his strength was such that not even a direct attack from Mr. Kuroki—one of the most powerful and important hunters in the country—had done much to him.

Yu… will die.

“But… in part, I understand him. Revenge is an overwhelming feeling that makes us irrational.”

Yes, it’s exactly as he says. I know that precisely because I, too, have fallen prey to it.

“And what about you? How are you?” Mr. Kuroki asked.

“…Horrible,” I replied with a broken voice. “This is all my fault. If I had trusted Yu… if I hadn’t accused him of being the Beast King… none of this would be happening. I ruined everything.”

I should have trusted him. I should have convinced Miss Usagi to talk to him first, like Daisuke said… I should have done so many things, but in the end I did nothing and chose the worst possible path.

I’m despicable.

“You’re being too hard on yourself. It’s true, there were loose ends, but it’s normal that you jumped to conclusions after seeing his face. It was identical, after all.”

“Yes, but…”

“Besides,” he interrupted, “Yu himself never talked about him, so not even the excuse of some brother would have been enough.”

No matter how much I tried to make him see that I was to blame, he always came up with excuses and loose threads that supported my decision. For a moment I thought he didn’t know anything, but as he continued to back me up, I realized that he actually already knew everything that had happened. He wasn’t speaking just to make me feel better—he knew full well what he was facing.

“Even so, the fact that you made a mistake is undeniable. No matter how many excuses there may be, the result will remain the same.”

“Yes… I know.”

“So, what will you do to fix it?”

“Fix it…? There’s no point. He… hates me.”

I doubt he would even want to see me in pictures. The cold gaze he gave me before leaving is still etched into my memories, so vivid that I can still feel it. The chill from that moment returned every time I remembered it. That look alone was enough to understand that, to him, I was already dead.

“So what? Even if that’s the case, one should always try to correct their mistakes, or at least make amends. Besides, it’s in moments like these that people need help the most, just like I needed it—when he took care of me and trained me to survive.”

I understood what he meant. I had been in the same situation. That constant desire for revenge that never faded, the urge to rush everything and put myself in danger because I was so impulsive… that was how I was. But then I met Yu, and I began to change.

I know… I knew that Mr. Kuroki was right… but I was afraid to face him. I didn’t want him to look at me with such coldness again.

“Yu won’t forgive you easily. Forgiveness is a slow and painful process for both sides, but if you choose to see it that way, then that will be your penance. Keep fighting by his side and help him. I’m sure that’s what his mother would have wanted most—that her son wouldn’t have to carry everything on his own.”

I was left speechless. Everything he said filled me with conflicting emotions—guilt, pain, regret… but also a bit of hope and warmth. The memories of what had happened overwhelmed me, but at the same time, the moments I spent with Yu remained vivid, replaying themselves one by one before my eyes.

I said nothing. I had nothing to say. I simply wiped away my tears and stood up, my gaze resolute and my determination renewed, which made Mr. Kuroki smile slightly.

“It’s time to get moving.”

“But we don’t know where the Beast King might be…”

“Actually, there’s been a lot of movement lately among the magical beasts in the Kyushu region. It’s likely that Yu and the Beast King are there, preparing to face each other.”

The Kyushu region… the place where my sister gave her life fighting against the Beast King’s monsters.

Who would have thought? It’s almost as if fate had played a cruel joke on me. But at the same time, I felt that it was the perfect opportunity to close a chapter of my life.

“We need to hurry if we want to catch up to them. You go get ready—I’ll go look for help.”

“Understood!”

After that final exchange, we both set off in opposite directions to make our preparations.

Yu, wait for me. I promise that this time I won’t let you down!

***

I liked the night. It was the perfect time to watch my favorite shows without the noise from outside or people coming to ask for help with something. I still remember feeling the cold night wind while enjoying junk food, the room lit only by the glow of the old television that had accompanied me for so long.

However, the wind now—something I would have loved before—only reminded me of the cold sensation of holding my mother’s lifeless body in my arms. The image was so vivid that it felt as if she were still there, in that same living room… or perhaps a part of me died and remained there.

Sigh…

Right now, I was at the edge of the Yamaguchi region, right where the border with Kyushu used to be.

From what I learned, the area had been bombed after the massive magical beast attack ten years ago, in order to prevent them from reaching the rest of the country, completely isolating what remained of Kyushu.

The sea separating the two territories was vast, but just as I was wondering how to get to the other side, the water in front of me began to move. Then, a magical marine beast emerged.

I thought about attacking it and drew my weapon, but I put it away again when I felt no hostility from the monster. Perhaps it was due to my condition as a clone created from a magical beast, but I could unconsciously understand what it wanted.

It wanted me to climb onto it. It seems the Beast King sent it to look for me.

I couldn’t trust anything that man tried to do, but since I didn’t have many other options to cross into Kyushu, I accepted the gesture and climbed onto the monster, which began to swim almost immediately. Fortunately, it was large enough for me to ride without getting soaked.

And so, at a somewhat slow but steady pace, I set off toward the desolate region of Kyushu.

The Beast King’s territory.