Chapter 9: Not Enough

Taichi laid on the floor, staring blankly at the ceiling lights. His breath was shallow, and every trace of the fighting spirit he showed mere minutes ago had drained away. Team B won. Asumi and Meguri had made it through. He grabbed his pendant and tied it back on. It was over. They won, but from Taichi’s lifeless expression, nobody would’ve guessed it.

“I’m fine.”

That’s all Taichi would say when addressed about his spaciness. To the teachers who asked if he needed to go to the nurse’s office, to random acquaintances who were willing to help him out, to the random extraneous staff that he accidentally bumped into in the hall. Same way, every time. And Asumi, sitting beside him in every class, didn’t ask. If he was going to tell somebody what was wrong, he would’ve done it by that point. It wasn’t her place.

When lunch came around, Asumi sat with Taichi once again, silently eating. So did he. Taichi looked slightly better with food in his stomach, but she could tell his mood was still in the pits.

“Taichi…” Asumi whispered.

No response.

“Taichi,” she said a little louder.

Still no response.

“Taichi!” she snapped.

“Hm?” Taichi jolted. “What is it?”

Asumi reached into her bag and grabbed two chewable tablets.

“Eat these.”

Without a second thought, he took the tablets and tossed them into his mouth.

“Wow… you really have no survival instincts, huh?” Asumi muttered. “You should’ve at least asked what they are.”

“What are they?” Taichi asked, mid-chew.

“Mana supplements. When someone’s drained a large portion of mana, they help speed up generation a little. They won’t save your life if you actually hit zero, and they won’t let you fight again, but they’ll help recovery. Most sane people never push themselves hard enough to need them, but you apparently aren’t sane.”

“You’re calling me insane, but you’re the one who carries these around in your backpack,” Taichi remarked with a chuckle.

Asumi rolled her eyes. “Guess you’re feeling better already.”

“A bit…” he admitted, gaze dropping again.

“But your mana isn’t the only thing bothering you, is it?” Asumi asked.

“I’m fine,” Taichi said in the same tone.

“If you say so… you’re going back to our room though. You need to rest. Mana depletion is no joke. If you push yourself too much, you’ll die.”

“…Alright,” Taichi said before heading off alone.

Back in the dorm, Taichi collapsed onto his bed, fatigue finally slamming into him, feeling the strain of the battle catch up to him in full force. As he stared at the ceiling again, a realization crept through him – this isn’t the first time he’d been this drained.

When he dueled Natsu for the first time, he felt a similar drain on his stamina. He thought it was solely because of the lightning strike, which he also took damage from, but now that he’s felt this exhaustion once again, he was forced to recognize reality.

The aspect he believed to be all-powerful had the drawback – endurance – a trait he prided himself on prior to feeling its limits.

His mind circled back to Capture The Flag.

The final spurt of strength displayed by Natsu.

It kept replaying in his head – his sword being pushed away with a slash of lightning. His entire body becoming overwhelmed in a singular moment. The feeling of losing any chance of winning the battle.

It was the same feeling he’d had when fighting his father.

That hopeless, suffocating sense that no matter how hard he trained, how hard he pushed, he could never actually win. There was a fundamental barrier that couldn’t be overcome.

Regardless, Taichi believed that his father was an exception. As if he were beyond the standards of this world in his eyes. Somebody nobody else could match.

He was wrong.

Tears slipped down Taichi’s cheeks before he even realized.

“Are you bitter?” a voice asked quietly.

Taichi jerked. Asumi was standing beside his bed. He hadn’t even heard the door open.

“What?” Taichi asked, wiping his face quickly.

“You lost to Natsu. Again,” she said bluntly. “Are you bitter?”

“I don’t think bitter sums it up,” Taichi replied. “He’s stronger than me. It’s not his fault. There’s nothing to be angry at him about.”

“So you’re not mad at him…” Asumi said, sitting down at the edge of Taichi’s bed. “But are you bitter?”

“I already said–”

“You thought you understood your own strength. You thought you understood Natsu’s strength. You didn’t understand either,” Asumi interrupted. “You thought that you stood a chance this time. You thought there was hope under the field’s limitations. You thought you could beat Natsu, but you didn’t even get a single strike when fighting him 1 on 1.”

Taichi’s fist clenched.

“You’re bitter,” she finished.

After a moment of silence, he spoke.

“Of course I’m bitter,” Taichi said quietly. “Natsu understands more about my aspect than I do. He was adaptable enough to not only come up with one, not two, but three ways to use his aspect against mine! Meanwhile I’m standing like a statue, watching the world change around me, stuck in the moment of unlocking this power I didn’t understand one bit… and it’s only made me realize one thing.”

His voice became more firm than ever, sending shivers down Asumi’s spine.

“I’m never going to be able to beat Natsu.”

Asumi’s expression turned sour as she clenched her fist.

“Like hell you can’t!” Asumi yelled out. “What about becoming number 1? Speaking to the headmaster? Learning about your father? Are you just going to give up on all that just because Natsu is in your way?!”

“Do I really have a choice?” Taichi asked softly. “He’s as strong as my dad was, Asumi. I’ve never beaten my dad – not once. I don’t have any hope of beating Natsu… I have to give up.”

“I won’t let you,” Asumi muttered.

“What?”

“I said I won’t let you!” she screamed. “So what if Natsu is as strong as your dad? Hell, so what if he’s even stronger?! That doesn’t mean that you give up! Natsu never stops moving forward – that’s the reason you can’t catch up to him.”

He stood, fists trembling.

“He’s adaptable. He’s flexible. He can overcome things with his incredibly deep arsenal, but you… you have your own strengths too. You can’t give up…”

Taichi looked away.

“Why shouldn’t I?” he asked. “It feels like everybody else has. Asumi, tell me, is there anybody on this campus that believes they can surpass Natsu? Anybody at all? Not even you, the rank #2, feels like they can do it. What business do I have thinking I’m the exception?”

Asumi clenched her fist.

“...you’re right.” Asumi admitted quietly. “I gave up a long time ago. After I met you, I thought I saw a person capable of dethroning him. I hedged my bets on you and I believed you could do it… and I still do. But you’re right – nobody else is aiming for the top rank. Nobody else believes they can dethrone Natsu.”

“So…”

“That’s why… I’m going to become the Rank #1,” Asumi declared, her voice steel. “I’ll dethrone Natsu. He’s faster, stronger, and better than me. He has more mana, more skills, and stronger instincts. I have almost no advantages, but I’ll keep fighting until I win. Up to the last second. Victory isn’t gone until the last second. And you know what?”

“What?”

“I learnt that from you.”

Asumi’s head couldn’t stop replaying the way that their duel ended. Without any aspect, Taichi’s sheer tenacity was able to break through the power of her flames. From that moment, she saw his spirit as unbreakable. Seeing him this empty shattered her.

So she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him.

“You shouldn’t give up,” she whispered. “It doesn’t suit you. It’s not who you are.”

Taichi froze in place, utterly flustered. But the warmth of her hug slowly eased the tension in his shoulders.

“...I’m not as strong as I need to be,” he murmured.

“Neither am I,” she said softly. “So let’s get stronger.”

“I don’t believe I can beat Natsu.”

“I do, so let’s work toward it.”

Taichi closed his eyes.

“...I want to win,” Taichi finally breathed.

Asumi held him tighter.

“Then let’s do that.”