THE CHOICE I WANT TO MAKE

I am Amane Hikari.
A solo idol.
Because of my success, my agency allows me to take on any work I want—as long as I attend every concert they arrange. From the outside, it looks like freedom.
But freedom always comes with conditions.
Sometimes, when my schedule slows down, my thoughts drift back to memories I try not to revisit.
Memories of a boy I used to call Sato.
His real name was Souta Kageya. But back then, calling him Sato felt natural. Like it was the only name that fit.
---
“Hey, Sato, will you promise me that you will be my friend forever, even when we become adults?”
I remember how tightly I held his hands that day, afraid that if I let go, everything would disappear.
“I promise that I will be your friend forever, even if we become adults. But…”He hesitated, his voice wavering just slightly.“…will you be my bride when we become adults?”
“Yes!”
The answer came instantly.
“I will definitely be your bride and marry you when we become adults.”“And we’ll live happily together forever.”
“So it’s a promise?”
“YEAH.”
We smiled at each other, hands still clasped, unaware of how fragile promises could be.
---
I let out a quiet breath.
Those memories always surfaced when I least expected them.
“Hey, Hikari.”
A familiar voice pulled me back.
“What are you thinking about?”“Why are you zoning out?”
I turned.
Osawa Mei—my manager.
She was also my mother’s close friend. Someone who had been beside me longer than anyone else.
“No, Mei-san.”“I was just thinking about something from my childhood.”
“Oh?”She studied my face briefly. “You remember we have a meeting today, right?”
“At the office. With some clients.”“So don’t lose focus during the meeting.”
Sheesh…
“I’m not zoning out.”“I was just thinking.”“That’s all.”
Mei sighed.
“Alright.”“I just want you focused.”“This meeting is important.”
“OK.”
I nodded, but the unease didn’t fade.
“…What is the meeting about?” I asked.
Mei stopped walking.
“…Sorry.”“I haven’t told you yet.”
She hesitated.
“And honestly—”“I think you might get angry.”
My chest tightened.
“It was arranged by me and your mother.”“So I thought it would be better to explain during the meeting.”
“Wait.”
I stopped.
“I don’t know what Mom and you are planning…”“But this isn’t right.”
She turned toward me.
“You always ask me before assigning work.”“And as a solo idol, the company gives me that right.”
“I only have to attend the concerts they arrange.”
My hands clenched.
“So if you don’t tell me now…”“I won’t do it.”
I had been patient.
“I’ve asked you for days.”“And you avoided the question every time.”“And now you want to tell me today?”
“So answer me.”
My voice shook.
“Otherwise…”“I won’t sing.”“I won’t promote.”“I won’t do anything.”
“Hikari…”
“It’s for your own good.”“Please try to understand.”
Something snapped.
“What do *you* think is good for me?”
The words spilled out.
“Ever since I was a child…”“Decisions were made for me.”
“I never wanted to move from Kyoto to Tokyo.”“I was happy there.”“I had friends.”“I had memories.”
My throat tightened.
“I had Sato.”
Mei stayed silent.
“But you all said it was for my sake.”“When I said I wanted to be a solo idol…”“You opposed it.”
“And when I became famous…”“They placed you beside me.”
“So I could be watched.”“So I could be controlled.”
I forced myself to breathe.
“All I want…”“…is to choose.”
“Just once.”
Mei looked away.
“…Just today,” she said quietly.“Please.”“Give us one last chance.”
“I won’t disappoint you.”
Silence.
“…Fine.”
I closed my eyes.
“I’ll come to the meeting.”“But don’t think I’ll accept the work.”“I’ll reject it.”
“Just come,” Mei replied.“Think calmly before deciding.”
“…Whatever.”“I’ll be there.”
---
“Thank you for your time, Hikari-san.”
We sat across from several people in the meeting room.
“We’re here regarding the game music project discussed earlier.”
“Oh.”“A game project.”
“I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can accept this right now.”
“We apologize for the trouble.”
“Hikari…”“Please think about it once more.”“It’s a great opportunity.”
“You’ll gain more fame.”“And reach a new audience.”
“Hikari-san,” one of them added,“Please look through the project details.”
“…Alright.”
I flipped through the pages.
A real-life-based game…
Then—
“…Wait.”
My eyes stopped.
Manager name—
Kageya.Souta.
The room felt distant.
My ears rang.
“…Why am I…?”
Tears fell before I noticed them.
“Is something wrong?”“Why are you crying?”
“No.”
I wiped my eyes.
“The story is beautiful.”“It feels like this project was made for me.”
My voice steadied.
“…I will do it.”“I’ll happily accept.”
Mei smiled.
“Yes.”“I’ll make the arrangements.”
“I’ll schedule the meeting next week.”“Is that alright, Hikari-san?”
“Yes.”“Please do.”
---
Souta…
Are you still the same?
Will you remember me when you see my face?
Do you still remember our promise?
A soft giggle escaped my lips.
---

TO BE CONTINUED