It Wasn’t Supposed to Be Like This

The rain fell harder as Owen stepped out of the apartment building.

It was not a gentle rain, nor a light drizzle that merely dampened the streets. This rain fell with intent—as if the sky itself was pouring out every burden he could not put into words. Droplets struck the asphalt, bounced, then shattered into countless shimmering fragments beneath the city lights.

Owen stopped on the sidewalk, right beside his parked car.

The black hoodie he wore quickly absorbed the rain, clinging to his shoulders and back, weighing his body down with cold. He did not pull the hood over his head. He had no intention of protecting himself. He let the rain soak his hair and face freely, allowing the water to run down, to blur something that should never be seen.

As if he deserved it.
As if this was a fitting punishment for committing the cruelest act of his life—rejecting a woman who loved him sincerely.

Owen did not get into the car right away.

He stood still and looked up.

The apartment building towered before him. Too tall. The lights on the upper floors glowed neatly, warmly, and yet felt… unreachable. From below, the building looked like another world. A clean world. A safe world. A world that never truly allowed someone like him to stay for long.

Ailine’s world.

His hands clenched at his sides, then slowly loosened. His breath was held tight in his chest—heavy, restrained—as if something was desperate to break free, yet he himself forbade it.

He knew.
He had always known.

On one of those floors, there was a woman who might still be standing behind her apartment door. Waiting. Hoping. Or perhaps struggling with all her strength not to fall apart.

Owen looked up, trying to find her.
He did not know which window it was.

And somehow, that felt right.

Ailine had always existed in a place he could never reach. Always standing at a height that made his steps feel small, his arms feel too short, and his courage feel endlessly insufficient.

Just like before.
Yes… exactly like before.

The rain grew heavier. Water streamed from the edge of his hoodie, dripping onto the asphalt, mixing with the blurred reflections of city lights. Owen finally opened the car door—but his hand paused.

He did not get in.

He stopped once more.

And looked up one last time.

“I’m sorry…” he whispered, his voice almost completely swallowed by the rain.

It was not a plea.
He did not expect forgiveness.
It was merely an admission—that he was fully aware he had hurt someone who never deserved it.

Owen was not an insensitive man. He understood Ailine’s feelings toward him all too well—he had felt them in every small act of care, in every lingering gaze, in every silence that carried more meaning than words ever could. And he felt the same way.

He simply chose to pretend he did not.

So sorry was the only thing he could give.
Even if it hurt.
Even if it was not what Ailine wanted.

“What else can I do…?” he murmured bitterly.

So this was what despair felt like.
Calm on the outside. Ruined within.

“The goddess flies too high,” he whispered mockingly, almost sneering at himself. “A heart without wings can never reach her.”

Owen closed his eyes tightly, feeling rainwater—warm, perhaps from his own skin—trail down his cheeks. He let out a short breath, scoffing silently at himself.

Ah… as if he could cry.
He was not allowed such weakness.

At last, he got into the car. The door shut with a dull thud, severing his final connection to the towering building. The engine started, headlights cutting through the rain, slicing into the darkness of the night.

The car moved slowly, leaving the apartment behind—standing tall, cold, and growing farther away.

And Owen did not look back.

Because he knew—if he did, even once, if he let his heart win for a single second, he would turn back. And he could not allow that.

Truthfully, he was far too weak when it came to Ailine.

“Goodbye… my first love.”

Behind the rain and the fading city lights, the apartment grew smaller, more distant, more impossible.

And Owen chose to leave.
Alone.
Just as he always had.

---

Ailine stood behind the window of her apartment.

She did not know when her feet had carried her there. Her steps felt light, barely touching the floor. The sheer curtains remained open, allowing the city lights to spill in, blending with the endless rain falling outside.

From that height, the world below looked small.
Too small.
Too far away.

Streetlights blurred behind the rain. Cars moved like broken streaks of light, none of them drawing her attention—until one vehicle stopped briefly by the curb.

Ailine narrowed her eyes.

That car.

Her chest tightened suddenly, as if an invisible hand had clenched her heart too hard.

On the sidewalk, a man stood motionless beside the car. A black hoodie covered his body, his shoulders soaked by the rain. From that distance, his face was indistinguishable.

Yet Ailine knew.

She knew even before her mind could deny it.

It was Owen.

Her hand instinctively pressed against the glass. Cold. Slippery. Just like the feeling creeping into her chest—cold and aching.

She saw Owen look up.

Toward this apartment building.
Toward her—even though she knew he could not possibly see her from down there.

“What are you doing…?” she whispered faintly, barely audible. “If you rejected my feelings, why do you still look at me like that…?”

Owen stood there for a long time. Too long for someone who only intended to leave. The rain poured mercilessly, darkening the hoodie, making it heavier with every passing second.

And for reasons she could not explain, the sight made Ailine’s throat tighten painfully.

She wanted to knock on the glass.
To scream.
To say anything—anything that might stop him.

But her body refused to move.

She could only stand there, a silent witness.

At last, Owen opened the car door. He got in, closed it, then started the engine. The headlights flared, cutting through the rain.

The car moved.
Slowly.
Decisively.

And it did not look back.

Ailine followed the car with her eyes until only the red taillights remained, growing farther away, until they vanished completely around the corner.

Only then did her breath collapse.

“Oh…”

The sound escaped her without permission.

Her hand slid down from the glass. Her knees weakened, yet she remained standing. She did not sob—at least, not yet. Her chest simply felt hollow, as though something had been ripped out, leaving behind a silence too vast to fill.

She stared at her own reflection in the window.

Alone.

And for the first time that night, Ailine truly understood—

Owen had not merely left her apartment.
He had left her life.

And this time… no one was chasing after him.

“So this is the end of more than ten years of waiting…?”

Her gaze drifted toward the room Owen had just left. Silent. Too silent.

“All for nothing…?”

She bit her lower lip. Her chest constricted as tears fell uncontrollably.

“Why does it have to be like this…?”

Her sobs finally broke free—raw, undignified. That night, Ailine Su—the renowned superstar of Country Z—was nothing more than a woman with a shattered heart.

“This is more than just painful,” she cried. “It hurts so much… Owen, you are truly cruel.”

And that night, Ailine knew—she would be haunted by a long, endless nightmare.

---

Owen’s car continued forward, leaving everything behind. He had always known this day would come. He simply never imagined it would hurt this much.

Even if he could now only watch from afar, one thing was certain—he would always pray for Ailine.

“Listen to yourself,” he muttered bitterly. “You don’t deserve her. She deserves someone far better than you.”

Yes.
It had to be this way.
It must be this way.

In the middle of a journey that felt endless, his phone vibrated. Owen answered without thinking.

“Doctor Young,” the voice on the other end sounded formal. “We regret to inform you that… your mother has passed away.”

Time seemed to stop.

His mother… was gone.

Owen remained silent for a long moment, then let out a bitter, crooked smile.

“Tch,” he murmured softly. “Even now… I’m not allowed to cry.”