Chapter 8

“So you finally made that decision.”

“Yeah.”

It was a calm Friday evening. I stared at the numbers on my laptop screen. We had our midterms coming up. Today, Carol would be teaching me math. We had invited Nadia, but she had business, and she wasn’t sure when she would finish. She told us to go ahead.

After our session, we took a break. I decided to tell her about my drawing and my plans to take Nadia up on her offer.

“How much will you be asking?”

“I haven’t decided on a price yet…”

Carol snickered. “She’s rich, you know? You can name any price. Maybe ask for a house or two.”

“I’m not that crazy. Besides, I doubt she’s willing to pay that much.”

“Who knows?”

“Certainly not me.”

I let out a deep breath.

“Still… I’m worried.”

When we went out with the photography club last week, Nadia got recognized several times. She didn’t get swarmed with fans to the point that no one could move. Just a couple of fans who went up and greeted her, some asked to take a picture. I ended up being the one tasked to help with that.

“I’m… not sure if I’m ready to step back into the spotlight.”

If nothing happened, then that's good. But, most likely, working with Nadia would drag me back into the public eye. If any of us messed up, I doubt they would blame Nadia for it. If this manga flopped, then it would be my fault.

“How about you? How are you so calm?” I asked.

Carol may not be recognized as often as Nadia, but she is a popular voice actress. She had her run-in with fans several times. I also played the photographer when someone asked her for a picture.

“Me…? I don’t think I care that much about my public perception. All I know is to act.”

“Act…?”

“My voice is my weapon. That’s pretty much it, I guess. I don’t fight in wars I don’t need to.”

“I see…”

“Also, a lot of the hate I received is unreasonable. Like… some people hate me just because I keep popping up.”

The majority of people loved Carol’s voice; as a result, she was picked to voice characters more often than not. She has appeared in a lot of shows, dubbing in both Indonesian and English. I heard she even worked on an anime project one time, although only as a minor role in an OVA.

“They like to comment ‘it’s Carol again’ on every release.”

“Really?”

“Yes, and there’s really nothing I can do about it. Every job had its weaknesses. Although they’re different, they all have one thing in common. There’s always someone who will hate you. Jobs that have to deal with the public like this… they have a bit more haters.”

“I guess you’re right.”

No matter how deep I went behind the scenes, I would always need to interact with someone else, and some of those interactions wouldn’t be pretty.

“... I can help you, actually.”

“Huh?”

“I can edit. Or, if you want something for promotion, I can voice a scene and upload it as fanwork. I can’t do any official stuff without approval, though.”

“I think even that is more than enough. Can’t Nadia talk to your agency, though?”

“I’m sure she can discuss something. We’ve worked together, the people here know about her.”

With Nadia’s fame, I have no doubt that a lot of companies would be willing to support her project.

“How did you get close to her in the first place?” I asked. Carol went silent for a while.

“... We're not close.”

“... That took a long time.”

“Our relationship is no more than colleagues.”

“Nadia loves sticking with us, though.”

She would be close to us during club meetings. She also talked to her at school whenever she got the chance. We studied in different classes, however, so she didn't get that chance often.

“And you think I'm the reason?”

“Yeah?”

She only knew me from my drawings. What she wanted was my art, not me as a person.

“... You’re not?”

“Have you been thinking that this whole time?”

“I figured something must have happened when you worked together for you two to be close.”

“I didn’t know what I did, honestly.”

With how the two acted, I figured it was like one of those one-sided relationships, where one side would really like the other, but the other didn’t have a particular feeling. Although I guess in such scenarios, the side with no particular feeling wouldn’t know what they did to make the other like them so much.

“What did you do back then? I mean, when you last worked with Carol?”

“I was still relatively new… I think it was a minor role for a radio broadcast… Right, a promotional radio broadcast with Nadia. I was the host.”

“Maybe something during your conversation struck her.”

“It was an interview, not a fight.”

I chuckled.

“... Yeah, I can’t remember anything important. I don’t have the recording, so I can’t check.”

“It’s been so long. I wouldn’t be surprised if you forgot all about it.”

“... I remember something, actually.”

“What is it?” While I asked, I glanced at the clock.

We followed the famous study method that involved a five-minute rest. Our rest period would soon be over. Maybe she realized that as well, since it took her a while before she continued.

“... Some people are far harsher, far more evil than you’ll ever imagine.”

I shuddered at her words. It sounded cold, freezing. Nothing like the usual sweet and calm voice Carol usually had. Words filled with hatred, filled with disappointment, directed at no one in particular.

Yet, her voice softened immediately after.

“... Despite that, some people are far kinder, far more forgiving than you’ll ever imagine.”

“... You sound like you’re speaking from experience.”

“Because I am.”

I thought about asking for it, but our alarm went off. I figured she would tell me if she wanted to talk about it.

“Alright, let’s get back to studying.”

“Wa- wait, what does any of that have anything to do with Nadia-”

A notification from Nadia appeared on my phone.

“Hold on. Nadia sent something.”

“What is it?”

I opened the message.

“... She’s asking if we’re together.”

“... Is she asking about us dating?”

“Oh, my bad. I mean, if we’re still studying.”

“Oh.”

I replied to the message, confirming her question.

“... Nadia asking if she can join in.”

“I’m fine with that. We did invite her earlier.”

Her business must have wrapped up earlier than expected.

Carol and I decided to move the call to the photography group. We had several available audio channels that we could use. They were like small meeting rooms. We active members even have our own channel, and only the owner can join. If we wanted to discuss something private, we would then pull in the other participants from the public audio channel. It really did feel like a virtual office.

After joining the channel, I sent a message to Nadia, and it didn’t take long for her to join.

“Hello! Good night, everyone! I heard you’re studying.”

Despite the late hour, her energy hadn’t faded in the slightest.

“Mind if I join in?”

“You’re already here.”

“I guess you’re right.”

As if she felt something, Prez joined immediately after. We ended up having a study session, the four of us. Despite how she acted, Prez is actually a smart girl. We had a lot easier time understanding the material with her around.

•••

Six years ago, he saved my life. Yet, I couldn't even say thank you. I didn't have the courage back then. That was why I took my path. To be someone other than me. Someone as brave as he was.

So that the same way I called out to him back then, I could reach him once again.