The Pact

“You're a…what? A pocket cyber-pet?”

“No, that's a Tagamatchi.”

“Oh. You're someone with many partners, then!”

Yuck rolled his square eyes. “Jeez this kid. No, that's polygamy. Can't you see how I fold? Ori-”

“But you don't jiggle jiggle.”

“I'm not made of money, kid. Red cardboard. That's what us Origamis are made of. Folds in the space/time continuum. Look, I'll go 3D.”

Suddenly, Yuck turned into a blocky red 3D figure, like some sort of low budgety-knockoffy sandbox game for kids they’d try to covertly play on school computers whilst Miss was dealing with a student’s nosebleed.

“Are you freaked out, kid? Are you?”

“Semi. It's been a strange day.”

Yuck felt momentarily disappointed by Boyd’s palpable lack of emotion. The one human I can interract with, and he doesn’t give a damn? How…boring. “Tell me about it. Sorry for just jumping into your boudoir from nowhere. But outside there are loads of sailors, singing stuff like “What shall we do with the drunken cat groomer?” I find that odious. Don't want to be near them.”

Yuck munched down a banana, then looked at Boyd’s bed, sat on it and bounced a little. “My, it's well broken in. You've had good times here, haven't you!”

Boyd pointed towards the goat.

“Oh sorry…I did think that the hoof imprints were a bit…too much of a kink. So, that brings us to this entity here, your goat. He swallowed the sacred book of Zy.”

“So he is…Zy Goat.”

“Exactly. You see he is transformed and powerful. Yet he is deaf as a post.”

“That's almost sad. But that book…was meant for me!”

Yuck coughed. “Not really. I accidentally dropped it.”

“Ummm?”

“Yeh. I was up in the Kingdom of Folded Time aka the KOFT, where us Origami control life and death without meddling in human affairs. That's our sole purpose. It's boring. Well, I felt a seismic vibration and it came from this blonde girl…you really lucked out there, kid. She’s hot stuff.”

That’s debatable, Boyd lamented.

“Anyway, while looking down I got carried away and I accidentally dropped the book amid my…interest. Goat here eventually saw it, goat ate it and absorbed its powers. Goat saw you then, so you are its master. And its powers…are yours!”

“Powers?”

“Oh, the stupid stuff you were rambling on about. Life and death. Power, destiny and control. Yours.”

Boyd grew dizzy with heavy possibility. Everything he had thought of…all his…

“…Yours…yours…yours…hello, do you hear me?”

From outside came the shouts of drunken cat groomers, singing “I Wish I Was A Soviet Grandmaster,” amid a platoon of abandoned cats, mewling and hissing.

Zy trotted to the corner of the bedroom and emitted a huge goaty dump right then and there. Boyd turned to face Yuck.

“What do you think of this world, Yuck?”

“It's absolutely crazy. Watching it is entertaining at times, although I can’t interact with it at all apart from killing people. But I'm glad I don't have to live in it. However, it's so boring where I come from. All the other Origami sit around and play chess all the time. I hate chess.”

“I hate chess, too. Even more than cat grooming and torture. Battleships are passable. All I can look forward to is being a battleship attendant, one day.”

“A…sailor?”

“Oh. No, screw that. I'd never realised that before. I thought sailors sailed, not shipped. Taxi driver it is, then.”

Yuck scratched his boxy bonce. “I suggest you see a careers counselor. Urgently. However,” he smiled wickedly, “I do sense a kindred spirit in you, out of step with the order of things. Maybe you can entertain me, after all. Maybe I’ll stick around. And I'm sorry for perving over your girlfriend, from one guy to another. Maybe she's got hidden depths…”

“No, nothing hidden there.”

“I see. You seem…sad?”

“She's like modern life. All glitzy on the surface with big fake promises, what you aspire to having growing up, but underneath it all, so empty. One big yawn.”

Yuck spat out his banana. “Ha! You're so cynical. I like you. Okay. Firstly, why not hang out with a more deeper girl?”

“Nah, can't stand fuglies. Personality is the crutch of fuglies.”

Yuck slapped his head. “The double bind…Jeez. Okay. But remember what she said about not meddling with things. I thought that was quite bright…”

“More like totally lacking in ambition. Hey, you wanna date her or something, be my guest.”

“No no, sorry. There’s the age difference of, say, half a million years or so. Plus, I can only interact with you, anyway. But forget that. Let's not fall out. Tell you what, let's see if you can prove her wrong. Or right. You do you and let's see where it goes, huh?”

Yuck offered his folded red hand.

“Stop. Tell me how it all works.”

“There are lots of rules for the Zy. But mostly it's simple. You communicate with the deaf goat. He will do your bidding accordingly, usually killing people. Or bringing them back to life! I'll give you the instruction manual copy. When I find it.”

“Dropped that too, did you?”

“Haha. Yes.”

Boyd became distant again. Wow. I can really clean up this messy world. It’s a dirty job but someone’s got to do it.

“Can you think of someone you'd like to bring back to life, hmm?”

“Nope.”

“Huh? Clue: name rhymes with scarer.”

“Ummm…another clue, please?”

“Sharer. No? Jeez. Okay, let's move on. To communicate with Zy, you must mine to him, or draw pictures. And write on air. You and her alone - and not me - will see what you write in red. When you are done, clap your hands.”

“Okay. So. What is the catch?”

“Well…beyond your own moral compass and any shred of decency you might or might not have…if the goat kicks the bucket, I get the book back and you pay with your soul. Same if you die. And if somebody accidentally feeds your goat, they get to see him and control him until you feed him again.”

“Hahaha, that's so easy. Cheesy peasy easy.”

“You think? Goats are greedy, Boyd.”

“What's in it for you?”

“Sheer entertainment. Relief from millennia of boredom and chess. Did I tell you that I despise chess? One day you'll die anyway and an Origami will take your soul. Might as well be me. I think you’re getting the better part of the deal.”

Boyd stared at Yuck. He knew he was telling him the truth.

“Anything else you’d care to mention?”

“Not that I can think of right now. I'll definitely find that manual for you…I think I dropped it somewhere in Amsterdam. Or was it Nevada. I don't know.”

They shook hands. Zi bleated conspiratorially. The pact was signed.

Boyd’s phone vibrated in his pocket. A message buzzed through from a classmate, advising they were having a get-together in honour of the late Sarah.

Ah…yeah. Sarah.

Yuck read the message over his shoulder. “Try the Death Goat! Bring her back to life!”

Boyd held his head for a moment. “Let me try something, okay.”

Boyd approached the goat. He started whirling, drawing and writing in the air, using expressions and his body to convey meaning.

The goat actually laughed! Boyd appeared crestfallen.

“What was that, an autistic gymnastic performance?”

“That's a horrible thing to say!”

“Yeah, so was that. It takes about 42 seconds to see results, if you didn't set a time for Zi.”

A flash. And Sarah appeared, rubbing her back. “Ouch! Hey. I thought I was dead. What am I doing here…in your room?” Sarah turned to the corner.

“Remember, she can’t see or hear me or Zi, but she can obviously see you. And also, what Zi produced earlier…”

“Isn’t that a pile of goat crap in your room, Boyd?”

“You were dead Sarah…but I bought you back to life. Sarah, my dearest, my honey bunny.”

Yuck shook his head at Zi. “Get this kid.”

“Goat…”

“Sarah. Listen. You haven’t long. I am your God now. Obey me and your wildest dreams will come true. Don’t obey me and it’s death for you. Decide now.”

“What a charmer, eh, Zi.”

Sarah quickly gave her answer: “No.”

And she promptly dropped dead again.

Yuck looked quizzically at him.

“All part of the plan, dear Yuck, all part of the plan.”

“Oh yeah! Boyd my new-and-only bestie, I forgot to tell you. You can only revive someone once.”

“...Ah. Whoops.”

“But since it was my mistake not telling you, I’ll use my powers as compensation for that. Just this once. I don’t like stepping in.”

“Hmmm. Okay, but not just yet. Let her sweat a while.”

“But she’s dead. She can’t sweat.”

“I mean, figuratively. Can you give me a hand with her?”

“Sure, as she’s a corpse.” Boyd and Yuck carried her into the lounge, and dropped her on the couch. She flopped down, lifeless.

“I think I prefer her like this.”

“Boyd!”

“I’m kind of joking.”

“You really don’t like her at all, do you?”

“I’m just…disappointed in her.”

“Wow. I…okay, I’ll shut up. It’s not my job to interfere.”

“I’m glad we understand each other.”

Yuck collapsed into an armchair, and Boyd lay on the floor. “I’m just surprised that you seem to show so little emotion at times for a human being.”

“Well…I don’t know. I guess that’s the way I am lately. I’m kinda excited to have this power. But I haven’t thought as to what to do with it yet. What’s the best thing to do, what’s right. I think I need time. Serious thinking time.”

“You’re basically God now. Well, God with a few conditions.”

“Yeah. I can think of a few things off the bat.” Boyd pulled an apple out of his pocket and began munching it. "First, I don’t think I enjoy killing for the sake of it. Definitely not over petty things. If someone bumps into me, for instance, I think I’d be sick in the head to take divine retribution.”

“No comment. It’s your show.”

“I wanted this power to improve the world. Not just my lot. I think it would be much easier making my life as good as possible, and watching the rest of the world struggle on. But no, I’d just be disappointed in myself. If I was a citizen, I’d want someone with that power to fix the world. You know, really fix the world.”

“To the state you think it should be?”

“The state it obviously should be! Rapists, child molesters, thugs, mobs, chess players. Okay maybe not the chess players, but people like those others. And people driven solely by power and greed. They have to go. Then we will finally have the world we deserve!”

“And your place in it?”

“To lead, of course. To have the bravery and guts to see the vision come to life.”

“But what if. What if the people don’t want you to lead.”

“Why wouldn’t they? I’ll give them what they want.”

Yuck laughed a deep laugh.

“What? You know people so well when you’re not one of them?”

“I’m saying nothing, Boyd. Let’s find out what happens. It’ll be a riot.”

“Might as well. I’m damned if I will become a taxi driver after today.”