Chapter 8

Nina

Dear diary,

You will not believe what happened. It was Mel who knocked on the door, and I was so surprised to see her, I didn’t know what to say. She must have figured out where I lived after driving me here last time.

She’d brought back the jumper I’d left with her. I hadn’t noticed I’d forgotten it, so that was very kind of her, but then, just as she was about to leave, she asked me if I wanted to have lunch with her. I froze then, not knowing what to say. Did she say it only to be kind? Why would she want to have lunch with me after what had happened last time? But I don’t know why she needed to be kind when she could have just left.

I cannot tell you how much I wanted to say yes, but then I remembered everything that had happened last time. I really shouldn’t agree and instead follow my instinct, not make a fool of myself. But somehow, I heard myself say yes, and I followed her down the stairs.

I wondered if it had been a mistake, and the whole way there, I regretted my decision. Why would it be any different this time? I would simply embarrass myself, and she would quickly realise that it had been a mistake to invite me.

She took me to a bar I’d never been to, but there aren’t many restaurants that I’ve visited, so maybe that isn’t surprising. She asked me about my work and what I did, and I wish I could have told her something exciting, but my life isn’t very interesting, as you know. At least the food was good, but it didn’t feel right that she paid for it. I could have paid for myself, I have enough from the inheritance from mum and dad to live out the rest of my life. Graphic design only lets me have something to do, but you know that, of course.

I forget myself. My lunch with Mel. I only realised far into the meal that I hadn’t asked her any questions. But even then, I couldn’t come up with anything. What interesting things do I have to say? I only make a mess out of any interaction, and the only reason I could ask the question last time was because I had prepared it for weeks. Maybe I should do that, but I don’t think it will ever happen again. Although she did give me her number, in case ‘I needed something’, but I don’t think I will ever use it. I don’t want to bother her. But I did give her mine too, I guess that was the only polite thing I remembered during the whole lunch.