On The Hotel Floor

I couldn’t believe it.

My dad was in front of me, and he was smiling too.

“How are you, Ryoma?”

“I’m good. Great, even! How are you?!”

My voice was cracking, and my face had to be a mess. I thought for sure that I’d never see my dad like this again—as the cheery guy I’ve always seen him as.

I ran over to hug him but realized that I couldn’t do it.

I didn’t have a physical body. There was nothing that would manifest. I couldn’t see or feel my arms and legs, and yet I could hear and see just fine.

“Can I not hug you because I’m in a dream?” I asked Dad.

“That might be the case, but don’t worry—I can see you just fine.”

“Really?”

Dad nodded.

“Mhm,” he said. “And I appreciate the hug, even if I couldn’t feel it.”

I laughed. I don’t know why I did it. There were so many things I wanted to say, so many things that I wanted to do, but there was one thing—one question—that stirred in the back of my mind.

“Is this really you, Dad?”

My dad turned to me, ready to give his answer when I raised my hand, cutting his thoughts short.

“Actually, you don’t have to answer that. You’re real to me and that’s all that matters.”

My dad laughed, and in the motion he always did, bending backwards with his hand on his belly.

“Okay,” he laughed. “I’ll keep my answer to myself then.”

I wanted to keep the conversation going, but I didn’t want to bombard him with questions that would bring the mood down like the last one—or with questions like, “Do you miss me and Auntie?” or “What’s it like being a spirit?”

If I were going to talk to Dad, I wanted it to be fun, but I couldn’t think of anything.

What a bummer. For the past few weeks, I’ve been secretly wishing that I could speak to my dad one last time, and now that I’m here, I've got nothing.

Thankfully, my dad spoke before me.

“Ryoma, do you know what I won’t miss about being human?”

I shook my frustration away and gave Dad my undivided attention.

“I’m not gonna miss my back and knee pain. Man, I’ve been complaining to you about that almost every day before I passed on.”

My dad laughed.

I tried laughing as well, but my heart ached for him.

Inside my room, a ray of light shone towards the floor where my dad stood, making his feet barely visible. The light then started rising.

“Guess that’s enough small talk,” Dad said. “There’s not much time before you wake up.”

“Already?” I said. “But we’ve only been here for like a minute.”

“I know. I’m sad about it too, but there’s been something that I’ve been meaning to tell you.”

“What is it?”

I was all ears.

“I know what you and Satsuki have been up to. And I saw what happened to you when those spirits surrounded you. At that moment, I looked at you with anger, and I’m sorry for doing so.”

“It’s okay,” I said, quickly. “You were under the Leech’s command. I get it.”

“Thank you,” Dad smiled.

I couldn’t smile back though, no matter how hard I tried—though I wasn’t crying either.

My face must’ve been blank in Dad’s eyes, with maybe a slight frown.

I watched as the light continued rising, engulfing my dad’s legs and making its way up his torso.

Dad turned his back to me.

“There’s one more thing I need to tell you, though,” Dad said.

I raised my head.

“What is it?” I said for the last time.

Over his shoulder, Dad looked at me like ‌he always did whenever I had an upcoming exam. He wore a warm smile and raised his thumb as a way of telling me to do my best without having to say it outright.

“If I’m going to be slain as a spirit, I want you to be the one to do it, but if you can’t, I understand.”

With those final words, the light tore through my dad’s face. The singing and the chirping faded. All I could hear now was ringing silence.

“Wait!” I cried out. I wanted to run towards Dad and reach for him, but it was too late.

The light consumed him, and soon, it consumed my vision.

The next thing I knew, I woke up, not with any sweat or panic, but with pain flaring at the back of my head and body.

I was on the floor of the hotel room, and on the bed, I could hear Aunt Satsuki lightly breathing.

She really kicked me off the bed…

Auntie really was a woman that kept her promises. That was something to take firm notes on moving forward.

I sat up when a light passed over my face. Turning around, I saw the same yellow light that took my dad now on the floor, a few inches above where my head was.

Never had I been so irritated from seeing a bit of sunlight.

Though I got over it the moment I got up and leaned against the side of the mattress.

Brushing through my brown hair, I thought about my dad’s last words and tightened my resolve.

“Don’t worry, Dad. I’ll be the one who’ll help you pass on. I promise.”