Ch 6: Riflery And Reflections

Tano had liked shooting my rifle so much that she ended up blowing through every magazine I had brought down to the rifle range. This was despite me trying to hide the damned things in my backpack, as she seemed to be able to smell the magazines and knew I was holding out on her.

The students had peppered me with little questions the entire time Tano practiced, all while the yellow skinned Oni continued slamming the targets like they had said something nasty to her the day before.

For all I knew, they probably had, but she had gotten her revenge regardless.

Before packing away my now cripplingly empty magazines, Arihada had come to me with an idea; She believed she could make other targets that were more “lifelike” and able to move, something that I was mighty keen to see.

It would make good practice not only for me, but for my team as well. Hitting a still target was nothing particularly hard, and things got a little more interesting when the targets started to move.

Reminding Tano that she would be helping me reload the magazines, I set off to find the crow with the yellow ribbon.

Finding the crow was easier than finding the wizard who kept us well fed in ammunition, and frankly I had no idea what the guy even looked like.

There was an odd little place called the “croakery” where all the crows tended to relax when not on duty, and I made my way there first before depositing my weapons and gear in my room.

Instead of finding a bunch of crows happily snoozing or pecking at feed blocks, I instead found Onoue Enri sitting on a small stool with her head in her hands. Onoue was the lead linguistics professor in the castle, though she was only thirty in age and appeared to be having a time of dealing with her title’s responsibilities.

She was an odd one, bearing gray hair and gray eyes around a fair, handsome face, but the frustrated tears caught me off guard.

“You alright, Onoue?” I called out, stopping inside the door to the croakery.

Onoue looked up with a sniff, then gestured weakly around herself to the crows. “I messed up again.”

“Messed up?” I asked, stepping in and glancing around at the relatively normal looking crows.

Onoue nodded, sniffing again and wiping at her eyes with the edge of her thumb. “I tried to fix the weird accent, and I think all I did was make it worse!”

Before I could ask what she was talking about, a nearby crow cracked a sleepy eye and panned it towards Onoue.

“Ay’ teach’, I’m tryin’ ta’ sleep ovah’ heah’.” The crow muttered, and it took everything in my soul to not let out a loud cough of laughter.

Instead my shoulders just gave a single buck as I desperately tried to keep my bearings from falling through my fingers.

“Fuggit abou’dit.” Another nearby crow piped up, and I broke.

Before I could manage myself, a loud “Ha!” escaped my mouth, causing Onoue to start silently crying again as she looked skywards, wondering where it all went wrong.

A few fresh crows flew in, heading straight to me and landing near my right shoulder on a perch.

“Jack!” One called out, feathers slightly wet with little flecks of water. “School lady got the whole gang squawkin' with a brand new jive!”

A nearby crow, squinted eyes showing their apparent lack of sleep after being magically forced into a new English accent, slowly swung their head towards the jive crows. “Would it kill ya's ta’ shut ya' trap? She jus' shoved a whole lotta’ accent into oua' brains and been cryin' the whole friggin' time.”

“Where did it go wrong?” Onoue sobbed out, her hands pressed to her eyes as tears slowly bubbled through her fingers. “Why are crows so difficult?!”

A mumbled “fuggit abou’dit” from a nearby crow caused her to bare her teeth in a frustrated snarl as she cried harder, and the crows let out a collective, tired sigh.

“Tell the ammo dude I need a whole lotta lead, man.” I said to the jive crows, who nodded and took back off to find the crow with the golden ribbon. After they had flapped away, I walked over and laid a hand on Onoue’s back, giving it a little shake. “Hey, that’s enough of that. Come on, dinner is coming up and you must have been at this for a while.”

“I’ve been at it for hours!” Onoue whimpered, and it was only then that I noticed that her wand was faintly trailing vapor like a hot pistol. “Hours! I don’t understand why the crows are so hard to teach!”

I rolled my eyes with a flutter of eyelids, but slung my rifle and looped an arm under hers. “Alright killer, come on, let’s get some food in you.”

“The bush warbler, no issues!” Onoue whined, but she stood from her stool with the soft pulling of my arm under her shoulder. “The robins, my dear robins, they take to my magic like wind to grass! The thrush, like fingers on soft silk!”

As I led her towards the door, she snapped her head towards her shoulder and gave the crows a baleful, demonic glare. “But not you, you god damn crows!”

“Take it easy, lady, fahk’s sakes.” A nearby crow muttered, then let out a panicked squawk as Onoue went to lunge at the bird.

She was held in place by my arm, thankfully, and I ushered her out the door. “Alright, let’s not go wringing the necks of the castle’s scouts. Come on, Onoue.”

Still letting out little wails of angry, frustrated tears, I deposited Onoue at the teacher’s table in the dining hall, which was thankfully occupied by a few teachers grading papers.

As Onoue flopped into a chair and promptly thunked her head down to the polished wood table, the head magical arts teacher looked up from an essay and regarded me.

Yasuda Heiji was an older man that kept his head as bald as humanly possible, with gray eyebrows that had more foliage than any shrub could ask for. His face was a crag of world-marks and laugh lines, and he let out a light, raspy chuckle as he saw Onoue.

“The crows again, I take it?” Yasuda said quietly, looking back to his essay. “What accent did they take this time?”

“Bostonian.” I said, resettling my sling across my shoulder as I started walking back down the table.

Yasuda looked up, brows furrowed. “Bostonian?”

“Ayyy’ ah’m walkin’ heah’!” I called out, and Yasuda understood the reference with another gout of dry, raspy laughter.

Onoue let out a sob into the table, her back shuddering.

Seeking no part in whatever the hell was going to come next from that fiasco, I sought out my two compatriots to make sure they hadn’t been up to any trouble while I was teaching Tano.

I shouldn’t have been surprised to find Brody drinking with a bunch of the teachers in the teacher’s lounge, their sake bottles numerous by the time I had arrived. I knew Brody could hold her alcohol though, and they were all playing cards.

“Dinner is soon, Brody.” I said, leaning into the door to catch her eyes.

Brody fanned her cards at me with a non-chalant wave. “Yeah yeah, food and shit, we’ll head out in a minute here, boss.”

“Mmhmm.” I hummed, then set back off down the hallways.

Finding Deckard took a little more doing than I had thought it would, but I found the old veteran hanging out with a bunch of the animal-faced castle staff. They were all sitting in an apparent open air garden, the ground soft patches of manicured grass and ringed in large stones. The staff were all ringed around Deckard on the stones, while he sat in the middle on a stool that was just slightly too small for him.

From the sounds of it, Deckard was telling stories of his time in Afghanistan, a job the three of us had joined him on, and I didn’t find it as fond a memory as Deckard did.

Something I found rather curious is that a lot of the badger, raccoon, and fox-faced folk were smoking pipes… but more than a fair share had little bumps in their bottom lips, and were holding small cups filled with brackish fluid.

“Deckard, you shouldn't be giving the magical castle staff dip.” I called out, leaning against the edge of the wall as I regarded the huge man, and his little gathered audience of shorter, wizardy folk.

Deckard paused in his story and smiled at me, leaning back on his little stool. “What? They like it!”

A badger faced woman with bright yellow eyes glanced at me, then spat a fat wad of chew spit into her cup.

“Charming.” I replied, which made her laugh, then tapped at my wrist. “Dinner is coming up, let’s get chow.”

“Roger-o.” Deckard said, then clapped his hands together. “Story time over, until next time.”

The animal-faced people let their displeasure be known to me as they passed by the door, as Deckard had gotten to the “good part of the story”.

I cocked a brow at Deckard as he walked up next to me, and we both started walking down the hallway towards the innards of the castle.

“Regailing the local critters of our time in the desert?” I asked him, resting my crossed arms on my rifle.

Deckard grinned at me, spitting into his cup before he spoke because he knew I hated it. “It’s a pretty good story, you know, how our FOB got attacked.”

“I don’t remember it as a good time.” I said, though Deckard already knew I wasn’t going to say that.

“Because of the kid.” Deckard said, more as a statement than a question, and I frowned. Thankfully he kept going after that, pointing to the gunbag buckled to my backpack. “Took the ol’ Socom out for a spin while teaching the yella’ skinned lass?”

I nodded. “Used the magnifier to watch how she was shooting. She’s good, you know.”

“Good to hear.” Deckard said, spitting into his cup again before pulling the wad of chew from his bottom lip, plopping it into the cup. “One more rifle is better than just the three of us.”

I nodded in agreement. “Arihada, that bowmanship teacher, she was talking about making us a range with moving targets.”

“Is that right?” Deckard said with a laugh. “Enchanted targets?”

“They’re mouthy little cusses too.” I chuckled. “Did nothing but moan and bellyache the entire time Tano was drilling them.

Deckard raised an eyebrow. “Tano, is it?”

“Don’t.” I warned him, raising a finger at him.

“You always did learn the name of the pretty ones first.” Deckard said in a playfully wistful way. “It’s the poppy lady all over again…”

Annoyed, I turned my head and glared at Deckard, as I always knew that bastard had been spying on me. “She was an informant!”

“Informants don’t usually ki-” Deckard started to say, but I quickly licked my finger and stuck it into his ear. He let out a disgusted shout, shoving me away. “Eugh! You gross little bastard!”

“Serves you right!” I yelled at him, shoving him back as he laughed. “You fucking voyeur!”

Brody came around the edge of an adjoined hallway and slipped in between us seamlessly, and she was wearing a new, golden ring on her pinky. “Oh please, everyone knew you were sweet on that woman.”

“Does anyone mind their own fucking business anymore?!” I cried out, throwing my hands up in frustration. “Just mind your own business!”

Brody tilted her head towards Deckard, smirking. “He let the yellow, horned woman shoot his gun and was flirting with her the entire time, it’s all that archery teacher could talk about while I gambled a ring off one of the enchanting professors.”

“Classic Ronan.” Deckard murmured, and I stopped, turning and pressing a hand to his chest.

“We agreed not to say my name, Deckard.” I growled with warning, and Brody rolled her eyes in sync with Deckard. “The Japanese won’t hear Ronan, they’ll hear Ronin.”

Deckard let out an annoyed sigh, remembering back to our agreement, then held up his hands in mock apology. “My bad, boss.”

“You got it, boss.” Brody said lowly with a grin, and I knew that my name was going to be known by everyone by the end of the day.

I dragged a hand down my face with a grumble in my throat, then just turned and walked away from the two of them. “You both suck.”

“You got it boss.” Deckard piped up, setting back off with Brody at his side and just slightly behind me.

“Boss is always so moody.” Brody quipped, mining a belly laugh out of Deckard as the two continued to quietly poke fun at me.

The two of them henpecking at the back of my head made it a rather long walk to the dining hall, but there was a silver lining to the place; With their mouths full of food, they wouldn’t be able to talk.

While Deckard was disposing of his spit cup, Brody and I took our usual place at the same table we had been going to for the most part. Despite being the table for the Snake clan, they were a friendly sort who always poured our tea and made rice bowls for us.

Today’s dinner was a lot of egg and grilled chicken, which was fine for me, so I just loaded up on protein and ate it with my rice. I was getting kind of addicted to the pickled radishes though, and they were crunchy like regular pickles without the soft bits, or seeds. Some of the students were passing around these little sticks of grilled eel, and were eager to see me try some when I pointed at them.

I had always been a fan of grilled eel sushi back home, so they were surprised to see me start pulling meat from the sticks and plopping it onto my rice.

Brody was getting into eating the dried seaweed like they were potato chips, and the students were showing her how to load the wrappers with rice and chicken for a crunchy addition to the main meal.

Deckard just ate everything, which was very much a Deckard thing to do, though he sparred the students with his long chopsticks when it came to the last bits of stewed pumpkin.

With our bellies full and the work day coming to an end, the three of us headed back up to our room to unwind. No crows or anything else came during the night, so sleep came easy for me that night as I lay under the window.

In the morning, the golden ribboned crow sat upon the windowsill with another crow, the two patiently waiting for me to wake before hopping down and finding a perch next to my futon.

“Mornin’.” I mumbled, sitting up and brushing back my hair with a tired hand.

“Your lead got pinched, daddy-o.” The golden ribbon crow said, bobbing his head apologetically.

The other crow scratched at his cheek, then pointed out the window with her wing. “Tha’ Oni came right through ya’ winda’ las' night 'n swiped all ya’ magazines, she's reloadin' 'em in her room right now. She took evah’ last one ya’ had, she did.”

I squinted at the two birds, the jive and bostonian accents slapping my brain around like it owed them money, and I looked to the window. “She came in through the fuckin’ window?”

The two crows nodded, though the female spoke up. “She's got magic in them dere horns of hers. When she uses it, she can climb walls an' be wicked quiet.”

“The deck or up and downs won't even squeak or make a sound if she ain't wantin' 'em to, man.” The golden ribbon wearing crow said, and managed to shrug his shoulders pretty efficiently. “Either way, she done skedaddled with your stash, man.”

The other crow nodded. “She jus' straight up yoinked ya’ stuff, didn' even ask, didn' say nothin' at all. She’s got some wicked cajones".

“Thank you, I’ll take it from here.” I said, allowing both of the crows to hop up on my hands so I could show them the window.

The lack of sun in the sky was rather bothersome as the bostonian crow took off with a rush of wings, while the jive crow with the golden ribbon fell backwards off my hand like a diver.

He did have style, I had to admit.

I pulled on some pants and a warmer thermal, some thick wool socks, and made my way through the castle towards where I knew Tano’s room was.

While putting on my socks, I did notice that all of the empty magazines were gone, as well as my easy loader.

The castle was bustling this early in the morning, though the bustle came from the castle staff finishing up their laundry, breakfast preparations, cleaning, and sorting the castle out for another day of study.

I found Tano’s room easily, more thanks to the animal-faced castle staff pointing the way as if they knew why I was up so early.

I knocked on the door to her room, one of those odd, old fashioned sliding ones, and she met me at the door with one of my damned magazines in hand. She was wearing some odd little anime shirt and a pair of pajama bottoms, all modern, and her being so short allowed me to look over her head into her room.

The entire room was modern, and she was obviously taking advantage of the electricity; A mini fridge hummed in one corner of the room, an air fryer sitting on a shelf above it. In front of her futon bed was a brand new flat screen television, on which an American action movie was playing on low volume.

Tano looked up at me with wide eyes, quickly shoving the partially loaded magazine into her pocket … despite the pile of loaded and unloaded magazines next to her futon.

“Err…” Tano murmured, looking behind her at the pile of magazines, then to me. “Good morning!”

I just stared at her with my tired eyes, then looked at my magazines.

“I was loading them!” Tano piped up, running over and gesturing to the magazines with her hands. “I was going to have them all loaded and put back in your room before you woke up! You’re not usually… awake this early…”

“Uh huh.” I murmured, stepping inside her room and sliding the door closed behind me. I gave the room another once over, then looked over at her. “Your room is awfully… modern.”

Tano pulled the magazine out of her pocket and tossed it down onto her messy futon, then scooted her still steaming plate of pizza rolls behind her pillow. “Well, these students get to go home and see their more modern rooms, and I had to live through this kind of stuff for thousands of years! I deserve a break!”

“How did you get an airfryer here?” I asked her, pointing to the extremely modern model that was still cooling down. “And a flat screen for that matter.”

Tano tapped the tips of her fingers together as she thought, looking around to make sure nothing odd was poking out. “Well, you guys coming here made the staff finally put in electricity, and all I had to do was make a few orders, you know?”

“No.” I muttered, taking a few more steps into the room and slipping my hands into my pockets. “You could have knocked, you know, not spider-man through my window and Mary Jane my magazines.”

Tano didn’t seem to get the reference, though that didn’t stop her from leaning down and grabbing one of her pizza rolls.

“You could have asked.” I said again, and she held out her hands pleadingly as she chewed on her little snack.

“I was supposed to be done before you were awake! It was going to be a surprise…” Tano said, her eyes bashful and… well, I was struggling to be mad at her to begin with.

I stood there, prolonging the awkward silence until I was satisfied with it, then pointed towards her hidden plate. “Can I have one of those?”

Tano nodded, reaching down and pulling up the plate so I could grab one. I padded across the carpet, one of the only rooms in the place to have it, likely, and took one.

I popped the pizza roll into my mouth, then looked down at the magazines and scattered brass. A few of the boxes were still closed, and I gestured towards them with a greasy finger.

“I may as well help you load these things up, while I’m here.” I said groggily, then slowly sat down with a tired exhale.

Tano plopped right down onto her futon, tossing another pizza roll into her mouth as she grabbed the easy loader. I kept my eyes on a magazine as I started loading it, but my advanced peripheral vision caught her snatching glances at me as we both worked.

After I got the first magazine loaded, I set it down, arranging the loaded magazines into stacks as I spoke. “Do you like modern stuff, then?”

“Everyone thinks I should be traditional.” Tano replied, popping rounds into a magazine with the easy loader. “But, I’ve lived through all that. I’ve seen the advances of technology through time, but can’t really experience any of it because… well… because-”

“Because you can’t leave the castle.” I said evenly, looking up at her with a tilt to my head. “You stay here for your own safety.”

Tano looked down at her hands for a moment, paused mid-loading of a round, then nodded. “Yes.”

“I get it.” I replied, quickly loading another magazine with practiced speed. “I learned a little about you, you have good reason to hole up in here so he can’t get to you. I imagine it has gotten a bit much over the years.”

Tano looked towards her new flat screen, drawing in a deep breath as she nodded. “I looked at the world through books and magazines before, but with this little thing I can watch it move in vibrant color. I can try little foods from all over the world thanks to devices that keep things cold, then cook them crispy.”

“I’d eat pizza rolls too if I had to eat fish every morning for a thousand years.” I said with a smile, and Tano giggled out happily.

She kept giggling for a few more heart beats, and I set my magazine down onto the growing stack.

“I envy you.” Tano said quietly as she finished loading her magazine, setting it down onto her own little stack. “When the school year is over, you get to leave and go back to your world. All the kids get to leave as well, and the teachers, though some stay. When the school year is off, this place gets quiet… very quiet.”

I looked up at her, and I could see the crushing loneliness that she didn’t want to acknowledge in her eyes. Hundreds of years in this castle, generation after generation… I couldn’t imagine it myself, but I could understand it.

“You think they aren’t going to want us to stick around?” I asked her, the question a genuine curiosity.

Tano lifted her chin at me, blinking. “What do you mean?”

“Castle may need around the year watching, you know.” I said calmly, filling another magazine. “Ain’t just the students who need protection, the castle could still be destroyed with them all gone.”

Tano chuckled, though there was a sadness to it. “Yes, but it would not be the same kind of victory. Sacking the castle with all the students and teachers inside means more, and has more power, than taking the castle armed with a skeleton crew.”

“Hm.” I hummed, loading another magazine and setting it aside. “What would allow you to leave? Or at least not be cooped up in the castle all the time?”

Tano loaded her magazine in silence as she thought about it, eating a pizza roll as she mulled over the question. When her magazine was filled and set aside, she set her hands on her knees as she breathed in deeply.

“Prince Aozora flayed, beaten, and driven onto a spike outside the castle walls.” Tano said, the words sounding heavy coming from her mouth.

I lifted my head and took her purple eyes with mine, and smiled. “Is that all?”

She smiled back at me, then grabbed one of the few remaining magazines. “Well… it would be a good start…”