Puttin' on the Ritz

Hey- Hey kid! Party finally got to ya huh?” Despite hazy vision and the ringing in his ears, Ferrari knew the old race manager's voice instantly, but what the hell had happened? He knew what had happened, he’d wound up shit-faced but why? He had a strong enough alcohol tolerance given his larger stature and never got wasted in public, so how did he black out so fast? The answer to this question he also probably knew, however it meant more trouble then his throbbing head felt like dealing with right now, so he pushed it aside. “Damn Kiss-the-bricks my ass” Ferrari sat up from his slump on the floor under the bar, pushing aside Streakman as he made his way into the hallway. “H-hey kid! Heh, yeah you go clean yourself up , ya got an image to keep up after all!” Before he could even finish, the stout little man was already off doing who knows what with his fo-posh peers, the main event distant from their minds. “Damnit, damnit Ferrari don't even think about it”, stumbling, leaning against the manilla walls of the narrow maze that made up the tracks inside offices, Ferrari consoled himself, trying to keep his anxiety from building beyond his current exhausted state. “Yeah it's all probably exactly what you’re thinkin’ it is, this is all absolute crap right now but it's cool”. Almost by instinct, he made his way into an empty bathroom, fluorescent buzz from the one working light replacing the now distant party music with the slow closing of the door behind him. This felt better, just being alone for a second was exactly what the doctor ordered, and some water would make a world of difference. “Just… Let it go Ferrari, let it go.” He was visibly shaken, he could see it all in his grey eyes through the bathroom mirror, slumping now over the marbled sink counter just like he had over the bar. It was the kind of shake you feel after narrowly avoiding an oncoming car, mixed with the shiver that came with midnight vomit, put simply- “ This crap sucks”. Groaning as he turned on the faucet, Ferrari bent over and splashed the cold metallic water over himself a few times, an absolute God-send at least for his jitters. Looking up once more into those storm grey eyes, the eyes that would forever greet him along with his soaked face that came with such expectation, Ferrari willed his mind to attain the calm he craved. A calm that desperately tried its best to ignore what it saw, only in the instant it took for him to look up and turn off the faucet, the glimpse of what very well could have been nothing. A slender movement in the dark side of the room, over near the stalls where one fluorescent light was out, one he very much wished could just be nothing at all. The nothing that was so much of a nothing that the shiver it sent up Ferrari’s spine didn't ever seem to cease. “Not what I need right now, not dealing with this tonight I-”, plowing through the bathroom door with only a mild panicked pace, a very much not-nothing presence was noticed as soon as he entered the musty yellow hall. Despite his mind's damndest efforts to will it not to be, his body and soul knew it was indeed not nothing, and Ferrari's nirvana went into hibernation. Finally the shivers and nerve racking stir in his mind ceased, grey eyes closed, and a thick sigh blew from Speedwagon's mouth. Eyes up, turned towards the gargantuan dark skinned bartender at the end of the hall, and what stood behind him.

It wasn’t a particularly terrifying Stand, but it definitely was the so-called “nothing” Ferrari had spied the subtlest of glimpses of in the darkness of the bathroom, and that was just eerie enough to send his shivers back for a second. The fantasm resembled a coat hanger with long slender bent legs and arms, whose branches sported all manner of fancy coats and grand accessories. It had no visible face, the only humanoid feature it appeared to sport was its gangly long wooden limbs, gripping a large black cane. “You know you could have just asked, I would have gladly left that old-head snoozefest to come deal with whatever this is”, Ferrari still needed to lean against the plaster wall to keep himself up, while his mind was clear and ready for whatever this encounter was, his body was still very much tanked, whatever was in his drink had been especially strong stuff. “You were careless Speedwagon, when dealing with those from the foundation I've always had to employ more subterfuge”. Ferrari cringed at the mention of the foundation, pushing himself off the wall into as upright a position he could muster, “The Speedwagon foundation huh? So that's what this’s all about, look buddy I'm sure ya got your grievances and I'll be sure to pass them along to the appropriate management, tippy top department”. “ Yeah right” He scoffed to himself, it was bad enough his sister's business leaked into his own life like this from time to time, the last thing he wanted was to go speak to her in person. Still, “Tell ya what though champ,” Ferrari steadied his balance in the center of the hallway, digging his boots firmly into the musty yellowing carpet and eyeing up his dimly illuminated adversary 20 or so feet across from him. “Since you came all this way to see some genuine action from Number 8 Ferrari, eldest heir to the Speedwagon name, who would I be to let down a fan?” The muscled Stand user's eyes lit up with a quiet anticipation as he began to perceive a bright yellow aura around Ferrari, an aura which quickly formed itself into something much more focused. “You’re in luck my friend, you’re getting an exclusive backstage pass to meet The Distance.”

Ferrari’s Stand lit up the hall like a flash of living lighting as it manifested itself behind him. Floating just above the ground, the figure's presence seemed to electrify the air around, amplified by a rising atmospheric buzz like the roaring of an engine inside his very soul. The man across from Ferrari now couldn't help but allow a grin to creep across his wide bronzed face, even in a drunken stupor the boy's energetic passion was tangible, and of course his Stand displayed the same drive. Not only did The Distance match Ferrari in fervent spirit, its yellow body strobing with illumination with every electric heartbeat, but it even seemed to somewhat match his appearance, sporting a body that resembled a white racing suit, red stripes speeding down its legs into a torn wraith-like lower body until they cut off into nothingness where its feet should have been. A Stand is the embodiment of its user’s Soul, their essence from the most surface level traits down to the deepest parts of the psyche that even they might not comprehend, and Ferrari and The Distance were a shining monument to this fact. “It's only fair you know the name of who you’re facing”, the man stood firmly across from Ferrari, posing in a strong but relaxed aura like that of an examiner watching for cheating students. “I think it would be a little more fair to know why I'm facing them in the first place, yeah?” Ferrari’s squinted eyes twitched slightly, instinctively taking in as much of his opponent as he could, observing any external factors that could be exploited in the inevitable fight to come. The only new information his eyes could pull was the man's soft chuckle, “ My name is Tako-He, my Stand is called Puttin’ On The Ritzz,” as he spoke he fished something out of his pocket and his stand stepped forward. With each step its gangly wooden legs took, with every click of its cane as it tapped against the floor Ferrari’s vision seemed to slur and bend more as he fought to keep his equilibrium in tune. “ Please do not mistake me for an underhanded adversary Mr.Speedwagon, I would not have gone through the trouble of inebriating you, had it not been necessary for my Stands ability to take effect”. “ So that's it-” Ferrari thought to himself, his teeth clicking together into a grimace as his vertigo steadily grew worse. Tako-He tilted his head down to look at the small wooded block he pulled from his pocket, the shadow of his hat brim casting between it and the half dead hall lights, and in a swift yet elegant motion, tossed the cube towards Ferrari. “What, is he just throwing crap at me? Even drunk off my ass I could block something like that”, The Distance positioned itself in front of him ready to knock the block away, except- “Wait- what the hell?!” At some point during the wooden blocks' flight towards its target, it had grown, quite drastically in fact, and indeed became a much bigger problem for Ferrari as well. Moving at speeds only supported by pure reflex, The Distance pressed both fists into the hulking hurdling shape, a metallic clang echoing through the hallway as the upper parts of its sleeves flipped around to its fists like a pair of brass knuckles. It was an effort that barely stopped the connection between Ferrari and the attack, however the force moving through The Distance was enough to knock him flat on his back into the rough low cut carpet, “When did- the block…” from the floor, he saw the block land next to him back to its pocket-sized statue. Ferrari wracked his brain trying to comprehend Tako-He’s attack, and having the wind knocked out of him certainly wasn't helping with his disorientation. “When did it get that big? I had eyes on it the whole time, and it seemed completely normal pretty much up until it made contact!”, with a forceful grunt, he turned himself on the ground to see gangly wooden feet slowly making their way towards him through blurry vision. “I gotta- figure this out before he..” Ferrari forced himself to sit up, every motion seeming to make his vertigo worse, Puttin’ on the Rizz steadily making its way closer to him as it began to raise up its cane. It seemed to loom over him like how a child would perceive a teacher, ready to physically chastise the poor lad, and its presence only seemed to grow more massive as it neared him. “Perceive, that's it!” it better have been, the enemy's Stand now stood right above him, and this close it might as well have been a colossus, its cane coming down with the force and size that even were he to try dodge or block it, there would be no escape. ‘COM'ON!” Ferrari clenched his fist and slammed his elbow into the floor beneath him, and The DIstance roared like an engine as his intentions reached it. The Daytona International Speedway was built in 1959, and would receive no major renovations until years after the supernatural scuffle between Ferrari and Taku-He, and as such the wooden supports between the floors of its dank halls had grown weak, weak enough for Ferrari's luck to crash through them and shatter the floor into a slide, straight to the level below. Gravity taking hold, the racer crossed his fingers that he was right about his opponents abilities, as there was no doubt now that the cane hurtling towards him had become truly colossal, defying the space around it and any hope of escape otherwise. Bingo, it wasn't much, but the space he’d put between them significantly reduced the size of the incoming weapon until its tip just missed Ferrari’s nose. Down he fell, through the rubble of the hallway floor into the next, and for just a moment, in the darkness of the dank crawlspace between the floors his body hurled through, there was the ace The Distance needed to win this.

The thin carpet did little to soften the hard fall to the floor below, lit only by a half-powered exit sign and the light that poured in through the clasped floor above that The Distance had opened up. Taking advantage of the adrenaline rush before his vertigo took hold again, surely more aggressive than ever after such a fall, Ferrari looked up through the freshly formed crater to see the branched “Head “ of the enemy Stand looking down on him, heavy footsteps approaching close behind it. Fighting the headrush, he attempted to crawl forward through the dark halls beneath the in-human assailant whose ever silent gaze aimed downward, an eyeless yet fierce watch that grew dark under its user's approaching shadow. “I Just- gotta get a little further” Ferrari knew how to take a fall, but his inebriated state didn't exactly make optimal conditions for grace. His shins and elbows burned underneath his leather racing suit, but he pushed himself ever forward, drunkenly army crawling through the must-stained office carpet, “If I can just get- underneath that.. I'm golden!” Behind him, a heavy thud hit the floor, a huge shadow to match the sound, the hulking stand user pursued. Ferrari quickly flipped back onto his back, using all his strength to wrench himself into an upright sit, “Its perspective yeah?.” The comment formed a quickly growing smile across Tako-He’s face, yet it did nothing to soften the stone-cold aura of the giant. Not one to be outstyled, Ferrari flashed a smile of his own, though not enough to hide pain that grew as his adrenaline began to equalize. “Go on..” the grinning giant slowly approached, heavy steps sinking into the slightly moist carpet. His target backed himself slowly away from the pursuant, but he couldn't let himself be intimidated into backing up too far, he needed Tako-He in just the right spot. “Your ability, it's all about how ya look at things isn't it?” Perfect, right here, he had to hold his ground and pray the foe didn't have any more trick- though he doubted it. “That block you through at me, it got bigger as it got closer, and seeing as you haven't done the ol’ squish your friends head trick-” Ferrari winked up at Tako-He and pinched his fingers in front of his open eye, “ I assume it only plays on how I see things. The looming man closed his eyes, and his wide smile covered his dark toned face with a hearty chuckle, “Mr.Speedwagon, it seems your sister really was right again, in the world of Stand users, you truly are an invaluable asset”. His eyes shot open, and the once wise looking smile shot into a battle crazed cheshire grin, Puttin’ on the Ritz manifested behind him and grabbed the tall jet black hat off one of its branches, “ But you should know calling out someone's ability like that is the equivalent of pantsing the poor man, and I can't let that kind of Dishonor go unpunished!” Before he could even think to act, Tako-He slammed the hat over Ferrari's head, plunging him into thick and complete darkness.

“Damn it!” Ferrari floated in what was in every sense of the word a void. Cold pervaded every inch of his body, straight through his thick leather suit, but the fact he could not even draw a breath took only second place in the man's mind. “He mentioned Audi up there.. Hell this is some kinda freakin test isnt it?!” Outside of the void, Taku-He and Puttin ' on the Ritz only saw a gentlemanly hat, lying softly on the ground where Ferrari had been slumped over, using their cane to gently nudge it towards themselves. Inside the hat Ferrari cursed up a storm,”She did!! She absolutely did! Dammit Audi! “ The Distance began to manifest itself, its neon light illuminating the void and reflecting off the frost that began to crawl its way up the user's body. Tako-He placed two hands on his cane and raised it above his head, “My apologies Miss Speedwagon, but if Ferrari here isn't capable of handling such matters, he’s only worthy of the same fate as his brother!” Outside the hat, Tako-He prepared the cane to come down, inside the hat, Ferrari's fist came down first. The muffled roar of an engine gave pause to the cane wielding user for a moment, but a much louder crash of an air conditioner unit above forced the man to step back. “Wha-What?! From in there could he-?”The heavy unit grazed Tako-He’s face and, in the split-second that the hat began to shred under its immense weight, shrunk to a size small enough to crash through the roof of the hat itself. Inside the hat-void, the whimper of light the hallway offered was like the brilliant light of day, and in its beam the Air conditioner unit plummeted towards Ferrari. The was no close or far in this game of perspective, so he grabbed hold of the unit, The Distances arm overlapping his own in order to double his strength, and hurled himself onto it. “ Dammit Audi! If you wanted to get in touch you shoulda just freakin’ asked!” Ferrari leaped up off the void bound unit and up, up towards the pillar of light at the top of the hat-void, and out of it. Tako-He barely had a moment to appreciate the skill of the Eldest son of the Seedwagon family, who now was full size, flying up out of the hat and into the air in front of him, knees bent ready to land and The Distance floating ready behind him. “Well done Mr.speedwago-”, Ferrari flashed his finger into a point, and The distance obeyed his command of attack, “DURA! DURA DURA DURA DURAAA!