Caleb - The Call

I balanced my laptop on the edge of my desk and angled the camera the way mama liked, so she wouldn’t complain that I was only showing her my forehead again.

Her face appeared a second later, slightly pixelated, hair pulled back, a cardigan thrown over what looked like new hospital scrubs. Behind her, the corner of a small kitchen. Some mugs. A microwave. The practical clutter of folks that saved people for a living.

She smiled the moment she saw me.

‘There he is,’ she said warmly.

I relaxed into my seat without meaning to. I hadn’t realized how tight I’d been holding myself all day until her voice made me feel like I was simply a son again.

‘Hello, Mama.’

‘You look tired,’ she said immediately. ‘But you’re smiling.’

I tried to hide it and failed. ‘Am I?’

‘Mm.’ She leaned closer to the screen like she could smell truth through a camera. ‘Tell me.’

I let out a small, reluctant laugh. ‘There’s… someone.’

Mama’s smile widened dramatically. Paired with a gasp for good measure.

‘Someone,’ she repeated gently. ‘I remember you telling me about the musically gifted girl and her cats.’

‘That friend I made in Izu,’ I said. ‘Yes…’

She nodded for me to continue.

‘She’s kind.’ I added.

Mama’s eyes softened. ‘Kindness is rare.’

‘I know.’ I hesitated, searching for language that didn’t feel like betrayal. ‘She’s been through something. I don’t know all of it, but I can see it in her. The way she flinches at certain sounds. The way she tries to make herself small when she thinks she’s taking up too much space.’

Mama’s gaze sharpened with understanding.

‘And you,’ she said, ‘are trying to make her feel safe.’

I swallowed. ‘Yes.’

Mama watched me quietly for a moment. She went still in the way people do when they’ve lived long enough to recognize a turning point.

‘Caleb,’ she said at last, ‘I’m happy you have someone who makes you talk like that.’

Heat rose to my face. ‘Talk like what?’

‘Like you’re holding something you want to protect,’ she said simply.

I just stared at the screen. I was speechless. Mama reached for her mug and took a slow sip like she needed to anchor herself before speaking.

Mama continued with a calm voice. ‘Have you prayed about it?’

I gave her a look. ‘You know I have.’

‘And?’

‘And I still feel it,’ I admitted. ‘Not like a passing thought. Not like temptation. It doesn’t feel like it wants to drag me away from God. It feels like it wants to bring me closer. It’s like I’ve been learning a new kind of devotion.’

Mama’s lips parted slightly in surprise. Then she smiled again. She looked proud.

‘That is how it felt for me, too,’ she admitted shyly.

I blinked. ‘Mama.’

‘Don’t make that face,’ she said, clearly amused by my reaction. ‘You think your father and I didn’t talk like saints while we were doing very un-saintly things?’

‘Mama!’ I spluttered. As much as I was trained to take confessions from all walks of life, it’s just normal to be horrified when it’s your own parent confessing their sins.

She laughed fully. Clearly delighted at her emotional damage.

‘Relax, my son,’ she said, still smiling. ‘I’m not telling you to do anything reckless. I’m telling you not to pretend you’re made of stone.’

The laughter faded from her eyes slowly.

‘Just… be careful,’ she added. ‘Not because love is wrong. Because the world is hungry.’

I nodded. ‘I know.’

‘Pray deeply,’ she said. ‘For wisdom. For patience. For purity in your intentions. And for her, too. She deserves gentleness.’

‘I’ve been trying,’ I murmured.

Mama nodded once. ‘And whatever you choose,’ she said firmly, ‘your father and I will support you. We know what it costs to be called. And we know what it costs to love.’

I was lost for words. I had to look away from the screen for a second.

‘Thank you,’ I eventually managed to say.

Mama smiled again, then frowned slightly. ‘You’re still smiling, though,’ she said. ‘You didn’t deny it. That means it’s serious.’

I exhaled. ‘Yes.’

‘Does she know?’

I hesitated. ‘I… tried to tell her something. The other day.’

Mama’s brows lifted. ‘And?’

I winced. ‘I didn’t finish talking. We hugged it out though?’

‘Caleb,’ she said gently in that tone that scolds without being harsh.

‘I know,’ I said quickly. ‘I know. She stopped me. Or maybe I stopped myself. I don’t know. I just—’ I rubbed a hand over my face. ‘I made vows. First and foremost. I very much don’t want to scare her. I don’t want to ruin her life by even standing too close.’

Mama was quiet for a moment.

‘Love is not what ruins people. Silence does.’

My heart gave a painful little twist. She was right. I remember Aika’s response to my-one-step-forward, two-steps-backward confession. I opened my mouth to respond and explain further, but my phone buzzed loudly on the desk.

A call from an unknown number?

I frowned. ‘Hold on.’

Mama waved a hand. ‘Take it. I’ll stay.’

I answered while still smiling from her words. ‘Hello?’

The voice on the other end was formal and cold.

‘Father Caleb Thatcher?’

‘Yes.’

‘Are you alone?’

The smile from my face was erased immediately.

‘I’m… in my room,’ I said carefully. I looked at mama on the video who was also listening in.

‘You are to return to Izu immediately,’ the voice said. ‘Do you understand?’

The warmth in my chest drained immediately.

‘Why?’ I asked.

A pause from the other end before finally speaking. ‘There are images circulating. Of you.’

My mouth went dry. ‘Images of what?’

Mama’s eyes widened on the screen. She had already reached for her own phone. I watched her expression change as she typed quickly. Her fingers moved with the practiced speed.

The voice continued. ‘This matter is being escalated. Your judgment is being questioned. Your conduct is being reviewed.’

‘Reviewed?’ I repeated. ‘I haven’t—’

‘This is not a debate,’ the voice cut in. ‘You will return to Izu now.’

My gaze flicked to my mother. She held up her phone to the camera. 

On her screen was my face. My arms around someone. A rooftop. A cropped angle that turned protection into possession. Then another image.

My stomach dropped through the floor. Mama’s mouth formed a silent prayer. I couldn’t breathe.

The businesslike voice on the phone continued mercilessly. ‘Travel arrangements have been made. You are to present yourself for review immediately.’

‘My mother is on the call,’ I said with a rough voice. I didn’t know why I said it. Maybe because I needed someone to witness this. To remind me I wasn’t dreaming.

‘This is not a personal matter,’ the voice replied. ‘Return to Izu.’

The line went dead.

I remained motionless with the phone still pressed to my ear, listening to nothing. Mama leaned forward with her face close to the screen.

‘Caleb,’ she said quickly, ‘listen to me. Breathe. This will blow over.’

I laughed once, sharp and broken. ‘It won’t.’

‘Yes, it will,’ she insisted. ‘People forget. They move on to the next scandal. You did nothing wrong. You hear me?’

But I did. I didn’t get to tell her the full story. I did manage to confess my feelings… and we… Aika… she…

‘Caleb. It will be fine.’ 

I wanted to believe her. I wanted to crawl into her certainty like a child. But, something in me had already learned the truth. The world didn’t need proof. It only needed a picture.

I sat down slowly. My legs slowly forgot how to hold me up.

‘I didn’t even know,’ I whispered. ‘I didn’t even see anyone.’

‘They were waiting for a moment. They found one.’

I squeezed my eyes shut. I saw Aika’s face in my mind. Her eyes. Her shaking. Her prayer. And the sickening certainty that those photos would not destroy me alone.

They would find her. Or if they couldn’t, they would invent her.

‘Mama,’ I said, barely audible, ‘what do I do?’

She swallowed, then steadied herself like she was stepping into a triage room.

‘You go,’ she said firmly. ‘You do what they ask. You keep your head down. You speak the truth clearly. You pray. And you do not let shame make decisions for you.’

My chest hurt at the idea of Aika hurting, let alone because of me.

‘I want to call her,’ I whispered.

Mama’s eyes widened. ‘Do you have her number?’

I nodded once.

‘Then call her,’ Mama said immediately.

My phone buzzed again. A message this time, from the same unknown authority.

“Surrender your phone upon arrival”

My blood went cold.

‘They’re taking it,’ I whispered.

Mama’s hand flew to her mouth. I stared at the screen, then at her face.

‘I won’t be able to reach her,’ I said with shaking voice. ‘I can’t warn her.’

Mama frowned. ‘Caleb…’

I stood suddenly. I felt restless and trapped inside my own skin. I needed to move. To run. To pray. To do something that felt like control.

‘I should go,’ I said quickly.

Mama’s voice sharpened with fear. ‘No. Don’t end the call. Stay with me. I’ll stay with you.’

I swallowed hard, and for a moment, I almost agreed. I almost let myself be held. But this was my own cross to bear. My shame was already clawing up my throat, telling me to hide.

‘Mama,’ I said with a straight face that she knows to be a lie, ‘I just I need a minute.’

Her eyes softened. ‘Okay. Okay. But Caleb—’

‘I know,’ I whispered. ‘You love me.’

She nodded tearfully. ‘Always.’

I ended the call. The room went quiet.

I stood there for a long moment, staring at the wall like it might tell me how to undo an image already set loose in the world.

I bowed my head.

‘Lord,’ I prayed with shaking hands, ‘I don’t know what You want from me now.’

‘I wanted to serve You cleanly,’ I admitted. ‘I wanted to do this right. I didn’t think… I didn’t think I could hurt someone just by trying to hold them up.’

‘Teach me,’ I whispered. ‘Teach me what obedience looks like when it costs me something I love.’

My throat tightened around the last word. Love.

I packed my bag with hands that didn’t feel like mine.

Within a few minutes, just when I was dialling Aika’s number, I was already being fetched to return to Izu. My phone buzzed like a living thing in my pocket, as if it could sense it was about to be taken. 

Mama had probably informed my sister already… I didn’t even get to call Aika. I didn’t get to explain. I didn’t get to warn her.

All I could do was pray she wouldn’t think my silence meant I had chosen to abandon her.