Childbirth Preparation Class

If anyone had told me a month ago that I would end up attending a childbirth preparation class with the pregnant neighbor next door…

…I would’ve assumed they were insane.

Nobody told me the 'feed the pregnant neighbor' side quest would lead me here...

A month ago, I didn’t even know this girl existed.

But now?

Now I was sitting in my car, staring blankly at the community health center building while Yuna fussed with her mask in the passenger seat. Of course, I wore a mask too. Don’t want to be recognized at a place like this. The rumors would go crazy.

“This is a bad idea.” I muttered for the 5th time.

“It’s not.” she insisted, shrinking further into her oversized hoodie. “The internet said it’s common for the father to come along. If I go alone, everyone will stare at me and pity me.”

“You know, I’m not–”

“I KNOW you’re not the father!” she huffed. “But THEY don’t know that.”

“...And we’re okay with that?”

“No… but I’d rather die than be the only woman there without a partner.”

Well. Hard to argue with that.

She looked nervous… not panicked like with the CEO, more like a ‘please just let the zombie apocalypse start out of nowhere’ kind of nervous.

“Do you even know what happens in these classes?” I asked.

“...Breathing?”

“And?”

“...More breathing?”

I pinched the bridge of my nose.

“Pretty sure there’s more to childbirth than breathing.”

“Well excuse me,” she muttered, “for not exactly being an expert at this.”

Before either of us could make excuses to drive away and pretend this never happened, Yuna unbuckled her seatbelt and slid out of the car.

“Let’s go.” she said.

“Oh god…”

—---------------------------------------

The waiting room was filled with couples.

Actual couples… smiling couples… married couples…

Couples where the guy had a hand on the woman’s back like he was the most supportive person in the universe.

And then there was us.

A masked girl in an oversized hoodie and sunglasses, together with a masked guy who looked like he’d taken a wrong turn on the way to the grocery store, also wearing sunglasses.

People... stared.

Yuna stiffened.

“Ren.” she whispered. “They’re all… together.”

“Yes… That is indeed how pregnancy works.” I whispered back, without realizing it could hurt her.

She elbowed me.

The instructor, a cheerful woman with a bun pulled so tight it looked like it followed military regulations, clapped her hands.

“Welcome, everyone!” she sang. “Please take a seat next to your partner!”

Yuna’s hand shot out and grabbed my sleeve.

Not gently. More like a panicked kitten clinging to a tree.

“Whatever happens, don’t leave!” she hissed.

“I wasn’t planning to.”

We sat.

Everyone looked normal.

We… did not.

“Let’s go around and introduce the lovely parents-to-be!” the instructor chimed.

Yuna made a sound like she was about to spontaneously combust.

“Don’t worry.” I whispered. “Just say your name.”

“That’s the WORST PART! I was never good at that!”

Couple after couple introduced themselves.

“We’re Aya and Kaito! Due on August 3rd.”

“We’re Satoshi and Megumi. It’s our first time here. Also, 1st child, very excited. Nice to meet you.”

Then:

“You two! The adorable pair in hoodies and… sunglasses.”

Yuna inhaled sharply.

I swear I heard a weird sound I’ve never heard before, maybe her soul leaving her body.

“I’m… Shoyo.” I said quickly. And this is…”

Yuna looked at me with wide, murderous eyes that said:

YOU SAY IT FOR ME!

Then… I answered too quickly, because of her sharp intimidating look… without thinking.

“This is… uh… Lulu.”

Her head snapped toward me.

Lulu? She’s going to kill me.

Her eyes screamed. But she didn’t correct me.

“Due date?” the instructor asked.

“Um…soon.” Yuna muttered.

The instructor laughed. “They grow up so fast in there, don’t they?”

“What does ‘Due date’ even mean?” Yuna whispered to me when the group moved on.

I wanted to facepalm… but then I remembered, I also just recently learned what it means. Because mom kept asking me about it… So I whispered back:

“No idea.”

—------------------------------

“Now! Let’s practice breathing together!”

Everyone sat back-to-back with their partners.

I looked at Yuna. She looked at me.

Both of us clearly thinking the same thing:

This is weird.

Still, she turned around and leaned her back gently against mine.

Her hair tickled my neck.

“Breathe in.” the instructor said.

Everyone inhaled loudly.

HAAAAAAA.

“Breathe out.”

SHHHHHHHHHH.

I couldn’t help it. A tiny laugh escaped.

Yuna elbowed me in the ribs. “Ren. Be serious.”

“I can’t. That was way louder than necessary.”

She elbowed me again.

But she was smiling behind her mask. I could tell.

—----------------------------------

“Now… It’s time to practice holding and supporting the newborn!”

The instructor pulled out a large, eerily realistic baby doll.

Yuna stiffened.

The instructor handed it… to me. FIRST.

“Dad first!” she chirped.

Yuna looked like she wanted to disappear on the spot.

My brain stalled the moment she called me a ‘dad’.

A second later, the baby doll’s head drooped in my hands.

“Uh.. is its head supposed to do that?”

The instructor gasped. “NO! You must support the head! Like this!”

She demonstrated lovingly.

I tried to mimic it, but the doll's head flopped backward again.

“No! Gently!”

“I am being gentle!”

“You’re holding it like a pineapple!” the instructor insisted.

“HOW DO YOU EVEN HOLD A PINEAPPLE!?”

Meanwhile, Yuna sat beside me, muffling hysterical laughter behind her mask.

—--------------------------

Next came ‘labor support role-playing’.

“Partners, you must encourage the mother during contractions. Positive energy is vital!” the instructor announced.

The men positioned themselves beside their partners.

Including me, beside Yuna…

“Now!” the instructor clapped. “When I say ‘contraction’, you encourage her!”

She pointed at a random couple.

“Contraction!”

“You can do it, sweetheart!” the husband said, holding his wife’s hand.

Another.

“Contraction!”

“I’m right here, baby… breathe with me!”

Then:

“Contraction!” she called, looking directly at us.

I panicked.

I grabbed Yuna’s hands.

“You’re doing great… LULU!”

She stared at me with that murderous gaze again.

“LULU?” Why do you have to bring that up again?” she whispered.

“...It slipped.” I whispered back.

“You made me sound like an anime magical girl.”

“You want me to use your REAL name after our weird introduction?”

“...no!”

The instructor beamed at us.

“What a supportive partner! Even going in for the whispering. Now that’s what I want to see!”

Kill me. Just kill me.

—-------------------------

It was time for the Q&A.

A nervous guy raised his hand. “Um… what if she faints during birth?”

The instructor smiled politely. “Then the medical staff will take care of her. It happens more often than you think.”

A woman raised her hand. “And what if the dad faints?”

“We’ll tell him to stop being dramatic.”

Yuna leaned toward me. “Ren… would you faint?”

I stared at her.

“Yuna… I faint when I get a splinter.”

She blinked. “...You’re joking.”

“I wish.”

“Oh.”

She patted my arm very gently. “There, there.”

“...Don’t patronize me.”

“I’m not.”

“You totally are!”

“Next question!” the instructor chirped loudly.

—------------------------------

After 2 hours of breathing, fake babies, and emotional trauma, class finally ended.

Everyone shuffled toward the exit.

Yuna stayed beside me, walking quietly until we reached the parking lot.

Then she exhaled loudly through her mask.

“That was the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever done. And this is going to be weekly now? How do I survive this?”

“Same…”

“Except the doll part. That was hilarious.” she burst out laughing, the kind she didn’t even try to stop this time.

“HEY. You try holding a wobbly plastic gremlin next week and we’ll see who laughs.”

She giggled softly, the smile lingered as she slipped off her mask.

“Thank you for coming with me.” she said. “And… for thinking about next week already.”

“Of course.”

“It would’ve been scary alone.”

“I know. But you could’ve done it. You’re stronger than you think.”

“Honestly? If I had to do this alone, I’d panic, cry, and then implode, in that order... And you… you’re good company.”

My chest warmed a little.

“Sure.” I said softly. “Don’t worry, next week I’ll be there again. I’ll come with you.”

She looked away. But I already saw it before she could hide it. The most beautiful smile a human can have.

We got into the car.

As I started the engine, she looked out the window.

“Hey, Ren?” she said.

“Yeah?”

I grabbed my bottle to take a sip.

“Thanks for being the dad.”

I choked.

“THE WHAT?--”

“For the CLASS!” she squeaked. “For the CLASS, Ren!.... Breathe!”

“Oh.”

A pause.

“...Still sounded weird.” I said.

“Don’t make this weird!”

“I’m not making it weird!”

“You’re TOTALLY making it weird!

“YOU’RE the one who said it!”

We bickered the entire drive home.

But when I walked her to her door and she turned around, she looked peaceful. Truly peaceful.

And that alone made this whole absurd day worth it.