What You Are

“You… you can talk?” I asked, startled.

“Are you really surprised by that? Weren’t you the first to assume something was wrong with me?”

“Well…” I coughed after swallowing my saliva the wrong way. “I would never have expected you to talk – just to be a scary, strange doll…”

“Sit in front of me.”

I obeyed, staring at the doll sitting on top of the desk. Despite the sound coming from it, nothing was moving. The voice seemed to come out from nowhere.

I sat on the chair, keeping my distance. No one could tell what might happen – any precaution was worth taking. The front door was on my right, nothing to block my path. At the first strange sign, I would run.

“What did you mean by ‘it’ll soon be your turn’? My turn for what? And most importantly… why? Or what are you? Give me answers! What do you want?” My words spilled out at a ferocious speed, stress rising inside me.

“You really are impatient. Everything comes to those who wait – you must know that saying, right?” The doll laughed, a sickening sound.

“Don’t joke with me! I don’t have time for this! You know it… you heard me… and I’m sure you know things I don’t. So tell me everything! I don’t have a second to lose. I have to find Hayate, I have to find and save Atsuko, and I have to stop Leo. If I don’t act right now, everything will be lost!” Anger replaced stress, impatience sharpening my voice.

“And yet, here you are, talking to me instead of searching for them. Quite contradictory, don’t you think?”

I looked down at my feet, struck by the truth of its words.

“I’ll give you three answers. First: I don’t know everything, as you think – only what you and Atsuko know, and a few other things, but those aren’t important. Second: I’m stuck inside this doll’s body. Finally, my third answer: Atsuko is alive.” Its tone was monotonous, as if the semblance of life it had shown earlier had vanished.

“Wait!” I lifted my head and stared at it intently, clenching my fists as a half-smile spread across my face. “Thank God, she’s alive! That’s a weight off my chest – and a lead to find her.”

I could have sworn I heard the doll laugh, but my euphoria drowned out everything else.

“Stuck inside a doll… I’m sure Hayate told me something about this kind of thing once, but I can’t remember… What I do know is that I have to trust this thing. I feel like if I don’t, I’ll regret it.” I calmed myself, regaining my seriousness, and cleared my throat.

“I have one request – or rather, one order: take me with you. I won't speak when people are around, but I need to be transported.” The doll said.

I nodded and grabbed a backpack. I couldn’t do much more than obey – maybe I’d get more information this way.

“Will this be good enough for you?” I showed it the backpack, waiting for approval.

“Perfect. Now let’s go.” A small snicker escaped its porcelain mouth as I placed it inside.

With the backpack on, I was ready to leave. Where to? I didn’t really know – but I had to go somewhere.

I walked toward the door when, without me touching anything, the lights began to flicker – off and on, faster and faster. I assumed a defensive stance, ready for anything. This wasn’t a simple electrical fault. The atmosphere grew heavy, the relentless flashing accelerating my heartbeat, my breathing turning ragged as my lungs struggled for air. My eyes darted everywhere – up, down, behind me – frozen halfway between the door and the desk.

The clicking of the light switch was the only sound left, drilling into my mind. Everything spun, and I felt as though I were constantly fainting and waking up.

A pile of papers burst into the air from the desk, whirling violently before my terrified eyes.

What was happening? The papers circled me, everything unfolding too fast to grasp. Seconds or minutes – I couldn’t tell. I was loosing all sense of reality.

Screams erupted from the backpack – not just the doll’s voice, but many others. Their shrill, chaotic cries pierced my eardrums. I covered my ears, but the sound wouldn’t stop. I couldn’t move. The chaos kept growing.

“Disappear… Cease… Stop… Stop… Why… AHHHH!”

I tore the backpack off my shoulders and threw it onto the bed before fleeing the room, leaving the door wide open. I ran through the corridors until I found the stairs, taking them two at a time.

As the bottom, I stopped, gasping for air, nearly vomiting.

A chilling wind struck my back. I turned just in time to see a blue light rush toward me, passing straight through my body. Every muscle tensed as it exited the other side, vanishing with a horrific laugh.

I couldn’t breath. I couldn’t speak. I shook my head, forcing myself to move, and sprinted toward the hotel reception.

I ran as fast as I could, my hamstrings burning, my entire body screaming in pain.

“How can I help you, sir? You seem to be in quite a rush.” The receptionist said, her voice steady despite the shock on her face.

“Please – have you seen my wife leave the hotel today? Short blonde hair, white shirt, gray sweatpants.” I asked breathlessly.

“No woman left the building today, sir. In fact, almost no one has. Do you want me to call –”

I didn’t let her finish, I ran outside. I felt a presence closing in – I couldn’t stay there.

“Fuck… my notebooks! I forgot them. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! I’ll have to rely on my memory.”

Out in the street, I dodged people staring at me – the strange man running from something unseen, something that terrified me down to my bones.

I was scared. Even under the streetlights, I could feel it approaching, stretching itself farther and farther, trying to reach me.

“Run! Run! Run! Can I even escape this thing? What is it? Should I hide until daylight and try to figure something out? Think – think, Ryota!”

Without realizing it, I found myself back on Hayate’s street. My steps had led me there unconsciously. I slid down the wall opposite the hangar, curling in on myself.

I buried my head in my hands, pulling my knees close – a fragile cocoon, the only defense I could think of.

The minutes dragged on. Water dripped from a broken pipe. Cats fought somewhere nearby. Junkies laughed in delirious ecstasy. Every sound echoed through the night. Slowly, the pressure in my chest eased, my breathing and heartbeat returning to normal.

I peeked through my fingers, searching for movement… or for a presence – for the one that had terrified me earlier. I was still scared. My eyes couldn’t linger on any object for long before darting to the next one, as if failing to scan everything fast enough might let something hidden in this dark street escape my notice.

“There’s… nothing. At least for now.”

I sighed in relief, my mind still agitated, my head and legs aching from all the running. They were trembling so badly that if I tried to stand, I would only collapse back onto the ground.

“Damn doll… I wonder what you truly are. How am I supposed to deal with all these supernatural things? I’m no hero. I’m no alien…”

I laughed nervously, desperation creeping in.

“I’m just… a man. What can a man do against something beyond his understanding? If only this curse had never existed…”

I vomited.

My stomach, my esophagus, my throat – everything burned.

I wiped my mouth with my sleeve, staring at a stray cat, barely aware of my surroundings, the nausea still clouding my senses.

A cold wind brushed my neck. My instincts screamed. Something was behind me.

“Next time,” a voice whispered, “don’t forget the backpack while I’m still inside.”