Chapter 15

Several days had passed since I began drawing. I considered it a unique experience. The start of the story felt very similar to the fire I experienced six years ago.

Nadia isn’t that girl, is she?

Maybe this was a recount of her story? And that person she wanted to reach… Could it be me? No, I doubt it. It’s probably no more than a coincidence.

“Alright, I sent you the progress.”

I had been going back and forth with Nadia and Carol whenever they had time, asking them to check the result of my work.

“Sorry for burdening you with this, Carol. I know you're busy.”

“No, it's alright. I wanted to help.”

Carol was in the middle of working on her own project for the movie, so we basically doubled her work. She still gave us detailed feedback, though. She often pointed out things both me and Nadia missed. She really did feel like an editor. Maybe she could go professional one day.

“This part… I think the lines here should be fader, since she's just a part of the background.”

“Alright… Now that I thought about it, have you two ever felt like you're just in the background?”

Unlike me, both Nadia and Carol were popular. If we put them in a manga, they would be in the center of every panel, drawn with bold lines, making their presence significant. You couldn't look past them. They'll force you to look.

“I experienced that often,” Carol said. “Not everyone recognizes my face.”

“Background, huh…? I… don't know. It's just, people pay a lot of attention to me, so I can't remember the last time I'm in the background.”

I figured. Since Carol worked as a voice actress, a lot of people would recognize her voice but not her face. Nadia's face, on the other hand, was everywhere. She acted as the face of a massive kids' show after all.

“Sometimes I wonder if that change never happened…”

“That change?”

“Oh, I mean… Me being selected. Had they chosen someone else, things might be very different now.”

“Oh, you might be a regular person.”

“... I am a regular person.”

With how many times people stopped her to ask for a picture, I often forgot that she was indeed a regular human. She just seemed so different from me, someone actually normal. I wonder if I will ever become like her.

The memories from my past returned, and I shuddered. Am I… prepared for something like that? If I work with Nadia, I would certainly be in the center of some attention. Said attention might be positive, but also negative. Often a mix of both. Regardless of what happened, I most likely wouldn’t be able to continue acting like a nobody.

I had been disconnected from Carol’s and Nadia’s fame all this time…

Do I want it to change?

It wasn’t too late. When I uploaded that terrible manga, I made the mistake of not using a pen name. I could still write something under a different name. I already agreed to Nadia anyway, and I didn’t want to cancel it. Especially not considering how much effort both she and Carol had put into this project.

I can change my name… then people wouldn’t know that it’s me…

It would still technically be me. Just because I uploaded under a different name doesn’t make the one drawing this manga not Harto. Still…

But I like my name.

My parents told me that my name meant ‘prize possession’. I… I wanted to make them proud.

“Harto? Harto?” Nadia called out.

“Ah, right, sorry. What were you talking about?”

“Nadia’s asking what name we should give to this story…”

I flipped through the original document, looking at the front page. I thought I had seen a name there.

“... The One Surrounded by Fire?”

“That was a temporary name.”

“I see…”

It did have a ‘tentative’ written next to it. I think it sounded nice. I did a quick online search, and no other book had that name. It was a bit long, but I didn't think of it as a bad choice.

“What do you say we choose that as the title?”

“Are you sure?”

“We can still change it later.”

“But the fire isn’t the focus of the story?”

Nadia had a point.

“But that fire was the thing that started it all. Without it, she wouldn’t be searching, would she?”

“That’s a valid point. Alright, we’ll choose that for now.”

With that out of the way, we continued working together.

… The one surrounded by fire… I guess… being around these two…

A light so bright, I couldn’t see.

•••

That night, I sat alone in my room. The call with Carol and Nadia had ended half an hour ago. I looked up at the ceiling, staring at the bulb of light up there. The clock showed nine in the evening, but I didn’t feel like sleeping. I felt restless; I didn’t know why. I understand that worrying about how the manga would go is pointless. I couldn’t control what others perceived about me and my art.

I could try my best, and it might not even matter in the end.

Besides, who are you? Some arrogant jerk?

Why was I so confident that people would pay attention to my work? Just because someone as famous as Nadia told me that she liked my drawings? Maybe she simply liked my art style. She acted cheerfully and was friendly with everyone in school. She didn't do it just for me. I shouldn’t get ahead of myself.

I’m just someone who has failed.

A call appeared on my laptop screen. A private call from Nadia. I picked it up.

“Nadia? What’s up?”

“... Can I ask you something?”

She sounded serious, without her usual cheerful demeanor. Did something bad happen?

“What is it?”

“... I received a notification on my calendar. It was something I forgot I added.”

“Okay?”

“... It was added by mistake, but I didn’t remove it. I thought I would once I found you.”

“...” I don’t like where this was going.

“... It’s the competition announcement. I set a calendar for the announcement. And… you disappeared not long after that.”

“... And you want to know why?”

“Yes, if you don’t mind.”

As my manga partner and boss, I feel like Nadia deserved to know. I would be working with her going forward. Maybe, she would change her mind.

“... It’s a bit long.”

“I have time.”

“Alright.”

I began telling her my story.