Geesus! An Interrogation With Extra Muscles

“Damn it! Why can’t I live a single normal day in this world!?”

Maxwell ran fast, the wind brushing his face, the wheel following him closely – along with the geese. The chase had begun.

With their wings wide open, they helped themselves by flapping them to boost their speed, catching up to this poor man who asked for nothing and was still chosen as their prey.

The inn was wide and stretched far across this district – so much so that the street linking the garden to the main avenue was as long as a soccer field. It was an endurance race. Who would give up first? The geese, or Maxwell’s legs?

Despite Maxwell’s speed and his lead over the main flock, some quick geese were at his heels, extending their necks and striking with sharp beaks, tearing pieces of his pants and wounding his legs slightly.

The main avenue was close – just a few meters away. The main group had given up. The race was nearing its end, with only a handful of geese still in pursuit.

“If they burst onto the main street, it’ll be panic!” He searched the pockets of his coat but found nothing. “Ah fuck the coat, I’ll buy a new one.”

He removed his coat and threw it behind him without looking. The remaining geese didn’t see it coming and were all struck by it, tangled inside and unable to see. That gave Maxwell just enough time to dash into the inn, violently opening the door before slamming it shut just as hard.

No one was inside except the innkeeper, who stared at him in complete surprise – an understandable reaction when a man burst in covered in mud and shit.

“Everything alright, young man?” The innkeeper asked.

“Yeah… well, no. These... geese? They’re yours, right? Why did they... attack me?” Maxwell asked, out of breath.

“Attack? These peaceful geese that only eat and quack all day? Have you been smoking crack recently, young man? Or did you hit your head that badly when you fell into the mud?”

“I didn’t fall by myself! It was all because of those kids! And I remember their faces – they’ll pay when I find them. As for the geese, I swear they tried to kill–” Maxwell stopped, straining his ears as a squeaky sound came from behind the door. “Wait! Do you hear that? They found me! They’re here – your damn geese! Fuck, I need to run or they won’t leave me in peace!”

“Let me see that. They should be in the garden. I don’t know how they got here, but I’ll find the culprit later.”

The innkeeper stepped out from behind the counter, opened the door, then immediately closed it again as he disappeared outside, leaving Maxwell alone with nothing but the sound of geese to fueling his thoughts.

Minutes passed. The innkeeper’s voice echoed outside as he shouted at the geese – though it sounded like pure gibberish. They responded with louder cries. Chaos reigned outside, but Maxwell stayed inside, leaning against the wall by the door.

Then, suddenly, silence.

After a few more minutes, the innkeeper came back in, a wide smile on his face.

“Problem solved. I don’t know what happened – maybe mating season started early this year. But don’t worry, they’re back in the garden now.”

“Well… thanks… I wonder how you did that… but uh… where are your clothes?”

“My clothes?” The innkeeper looked down at himself, his body covered in scratches, feathers, and scraps of fabric. “Seems they tore everything up. At least I still have my underwear – didn’t shock anyone thanks to that. Maybe geese have a sense of decency. I wonder…” He joked, stroking his chin thoughtfully.

Maxwell watched him in disbelief as the innkeeper pulled a shirt and trousers from behind the counter and put them on.

“This counter is truly an Aladdin's cave... what else is behind it?” Maxwell wondered.

“Take these – yours are completely destroyed. Would be a shame to charge you for new ones.”

A pair of trousers flew toward Maxwell.

“Thanks… I guess. Also thanks for dealing with the geese. I can finally start my day now.”He said, putting the trousers on.

“No problem. I owe you one – you’re quite the phenomenon since yesterday. The hero of the day deserves a reward from me too. Oh, and about those kids you mentioned, I don’t know who they are or what they look like, but there’s a sheep hunt next week for all the children in town. Maybe you’ll spot them there. Better than nothing. I don’t like hurting kids – unless they deserve it. So use this occasion well if they hurt you first. Try hunting a sheep too. Your three friends will appreciate the gesture.”

Maxwell smiled as he looked through the window, spotting his comrades returning from the guild, hungover and staggering.

“Wait… The wheel!”

He looked around, but it was gone.

“That’s strange… maybe it’s because another outcome was chosen. Ah fuck, my brain’s too tired.”

The door opened gently, warm light flooding the inn.

“Maxwell. In the bedroom. Now.”

Inside, they sat facing each other – Maxwell on one bed, the three muscled men on the other. The atmosphere was tense, as were their muscles. They flexed at every opportunity, their biceps so massive you could bite into them and feel as full as if you’d eaten juice-filled buns.

“We won’t beat around the bush, Maxwell.” Jeremys said.

“Well, we don’t have a bush anymore – we trimmed it, so–”

“Shh! We don’t talk about that, Matos!” He refocused on Maxwell. “We told you we had questions. Since you’re part of our group now, we need complete transparency. Is that okay?”

“Yes, but I’m not sure I can answer everything.”

“And why’s that?” Krotos asked, his face dark from lack of sleep.

“Maybe I’m dumb.” Maxwell said, laughing. No one laughed. “...Or maybe I just don’t really understand what’s happening.”

“I see. Then explain what you can. First – those clothes you wore. I’ve never seen anything like them. They were strange.” Jeremys said.

“Well… and your shorts and dresses?” Maxwell replied. “It’s the first time I’ve seen those anywhere in town.”

“Touché!” Matos laughed.

“Shut up, Matos!” Krotos snapped. “Tell us what happened during the fight with the goblin.”

“The truth is… I don’t know. It just happened. Strange, huh?”

Maxwell lay back, taring at the beige ceiling as they muttered.

“That’s obviously a lie… but they wouldn’t believe me no matter what I said, even though this world is strange. I still have a shred of common sense – don't take me for a complete idiot. I've managed to live this long despite everything.”

He looked at them and saw them all nodding, then Matos and Krotos left the room, leaving Jeremys alone with him, anger drawn across his face.

“Ahhh… I may not understand everything yet… that’s right, it’s not my world after all… but I’ll be a part of it soon, and no one will be able to tell whether I’m from it or not. The Path of Muscles? I’ll gladly to follow it until I can have what I want. I’m a simple man – having a reputation, money, and a family would be enough to live in this strange world.”

“Maxwell. We’ll help you find answers. Even though this hurts our trust in you, we’ll keep our promise. And we’re sure you can become a full member of our group and fully embrace the Path of Muscles.”

“So why are you angry?” Maxwell teased.

“This?” Jeremys sighed. “I’m angry that I won’t be the one handling your training. I should just be content with being the one who opens your chakras and teaches you the story of our destiny. I don't like being a teacher.”

Jeremys pulled out a large bottle filled with a strange liquid inside from under the bed. Fear spread across Maxwell’s face.

“Oil!? Wait! Wait! Wait! What do you mean by opening my chakras!? Don’t tell me you’re implying something like last time!?”

Completely panicked, Maxwell tried to flee, but Jeremys grabbed him and threw him back onto the bed, tearing off his shirt.

“It’ll be over before you know it, and it won’t hurt. Be a good member of the group – and obey!”