Rose Garden Heartache

Hayami was following Oto as they moved deeper into the rose garden. The same rosarium she had once become lost in while fleeing from the very boy who now led her along. From behind, she admired his tailored outfit of a burnt-orange blazer and dark, indigo jeans. As he turned to look back at her, he revealed the crème-coloured vest and crisp white button-down with coordinating orange buttons. He smiled softly in her direction, his teeth as bright as the white rose that adorned his lapel.

“I’m glad you chose that dress.” He spoke gently, eying the clothing that she had selected for the day. “It really complements your height and natural beauty.”

She, in turn, blushed in response to the compliments of her outfit’s designer. Glancing over herself next, Hayami admired the bohemian-style maxi dress and its romantic appeal. The flowy, tiered fabric had multiple ruffled layers that moved excitedly with every step, revealing more of the soft pink, green and orange floral prints that lent themselves to the crème of the dress. At the cinched waist, a subtle cutout exposed the soft skin of her sides and back, while on her shoulders, the short flutter sleeves and their ruffled edges freed her arms to the glow of the sun.

“Thanks.” She shyly replied to the boy she was beginning to love and the idol she had unknowingly admired for years. “You know, uh—”

Hayami was unaccustomed to being awkward. Usually being the one who dominated conversations, it was a strange feeling for her to stammer before the boy. It was as though the butterflies in her stomach tried to escape her lips with every word.

“I admire your ability to conceal your identity.” She attempted to flatter him in her own strange way. “It was—sort of—my inspiration for how I hid my physique and appearance.”

“Hayami,” Oto smiled, reaching back and taking her hand. “Someone as beautiful as you should never try to hide who you are.”

Leading her to his side as they rounded the final bend in the path, he looked into her eyes and smiled. His heart raced as fast as hers, their pulses competing with one another over their clasped hands.

“Now, come on.” He spoke softly. “Let me introduce you to ma-ma.”

Stepping into a small glade of well-maintained, waist-high rose bushes, Oto’s hand gently pulled Hayami along as she observed the space. At six points around the hallowed garden, fountains sprayed water up and out, splashing back to small ponds that rippled in the late morning light. Each statue was different from the other, representing men and women alike, each turned inward and in varying stages of reverence. And there, at the center of the area, a single statue of beautifully cut marble stood proudly, with loving arms outstretched as though reaching for the face of someone dear.

“Hi, ma-ma,” Oto’s sweet voice spoke as they neared the statue. “Sorry, I haven’t been around much to visit…”

Confused, Hayami looked at the statue and the tender expression that she saw on Oto’s face, mirroring his gaze. There was no question that the woman before her was the boy’s mother. And, while she had thought little about it and the conversation had never officially been had, it suddenly made sense to her that Oto had been alone for a long time. She remembered the times he had rarely spoken of his mother, the way he talked about her, not of who she currently was, but of her memory.

A sadness and pity filled Hayami’s chest. She knew the pain Oto felt and, inspecting the plaque at her feet, Hayami read the etched words closely.

Grace Eleanor Harding-Hildebrand.

Loving Mother. Supportive Wife. Honoured Sister.

‘Though you may be gone, the light you shone on the world will never be forgotten.’

July 1, 1984 – July 14, 2014

Hayami’s racing heart slowed to a stop as she looked at the words. At the date of her final days. Days that were almost the same as another that she herself was familiar with. Almost the same as when her mother died. July 17, 2014.

“Oto—?” Hayami began, only to be cut off by the boy.

“Ma-ma, I wanted to introduce you to my friend, Hayami.” He spoke, turning to the girl and gently pulling her closer to the statue. “Now, I know you must be thinking that she is awfully pretty to be just a friend. But I assure you that we are. Even though we have kissed...twice. Though, try not to worry, ma-ma, I’ve recently learned that friends kiss.”

“Gah! Oto, stop going around introducing me to people as someone you’ve kissed.”

The girl was unsure why she was flustered by the introduction to the statue, but the fact of the matter was that her attention was divided. As her mind swam with questions about the correlation between the deaths of hers and Oto’s mothers, she could also feel the nervous tremors in Oto’s hand as he spoke. He was also nervous to introduce her.

“But am I wrong?” Oto replied quickly. “We have kissed—twice!”

“Yes, but—” Hayami rubbed at her face. With his attention focused on her, it was the best time for a question. “Oto, I wanted to ask, what happened to your mom?”

“Huh? Oh! I know what you must be thinking—”

Hayami prepared herself, knowing this to be a famous Oto phrase often followed by an equally ridiculous statement that she was in no way thinking.

“Uh-huh.” She grumbled quietly.

“And the answer is no. My ma-ma was not turned to stone.”

She exhaled, softly chuckling at his stupidity. “You don’t say.” Hayami humoured him as she assumed someone would do for a child. “Then how did she get like this?”

“It’s a memorial carved of marble. Pa-pa didn’t want it here, but I liked being able to visit ma-ma whenever I pleased. So, Giles helped me. You see, ma-ma died when I was seven. The last I saw of her was when she was pulling away in the family car. She had just dropped me off at that damned equine school for boys. And only after I returned did pa-pa let me know I would never be seeing her again.”

There’s a horse school for boys? Hayami became distracted before glancing back to Oto’s shifting gaze.

The boy had turned, looking at the statue with a teary smile. Reaching out, he touched her marble hands, gently wrapping his fingers around them as he exhaled a weak sigh.

“Ma-ma was so kind. She would always reach for my face like this and tell me to be kind and to put goodness and love back into the world. But she never told me how, and pa-pa hasn’t liked to speak of it or her in many years.”

Turning, Oto glanced at Hayami and smiled, “I think you would have liked ma-ma.”

Hayami opened her mouth to talk, but no words came. She choked on the sentence she attempted to speak, the sounds emerging as a gasp as tears formed in her eyes. The thoughts of Oto’s ma-ma being taken from him at such a young age reminded her of her own story. Of the fateful day when she was in the car with her own mother and father, driving away from their home. The yelling they exchanged as the rain poured and the sky flashed with lightning. She could still remember the other vehicle that appeared between one flash, followed by the sound of thunder and crumpling metal.

Then came the memories of training and her father screaming that she needed to be strong. The physical strain and trauma. Her shaking hand as she pointed the gun at a man who looked somewhat like her. A man who reminded her of herself. Of her lost mother and a twisted version of Oto. And then the smell of gunpowder.

Tears formed at the edges of her eyes as she turned from the boy.

“S-sorry,” She whimpered. “I-I need a minute.”

With a tug of her hand, Hayami rushed away, her hand slipping from Oto’s grasp before he could firmly take hold.

“Hayami!” He called after her, his voice trailing her flight, but she had already disappeared back into the maze.

Pausing, Oto stared back up at the statue of his mother before reaching both hands up to hers. His sad eyes fixated on the tender smile that had been eternally set into the stone before revealing his own.

“Sorry, ma-ma. Hayami is…” He paused, trying to look for the right words before continuing. “I like to think you would have liked her. She’s rough around the edges, but I know when she kicks me that they’re done out of love. And don’t worry, she treats me well, too. I-I can tell there is a kindness to her. A kindness like yours. The same patience that I remember you having.”

Oto released his mother’s hands and took a step away. He looked over his shoulder at the direction Hayami ran, preparing to pursue her before stopping.

“Ma-ma,” He returned his gaze to the statue. “I—I wish you were here. So, I could talk to you. I—I love Hayami, and I don’t know how to tell her. I-I love her so much that it hurts. When I think of her being injured saving me…for some reason, it hurts as bad as the day I lost you. So bad that I don’t know what to do if something happened to her. If I couldn’t save her. I-I just…ma-ma, I miss you, and I could really use your advice.”

He started to step away from the statue with a soft sigh. “And sorry, ma-ma, I promise I’ll come back again soon. I just—I just don’t want Hayami to get lost. If she comes back before me, promise me you won’t tell her what I said. Love you, ma-ma. Always.”

With that, Oto raced back into the maze in search of Hayami. But he wouldn’t find her, because she had tucked herself not far from the entrance, listening to everything he had said. And as he passed by without seeing Hayami, she watched him depart through tear-soaked eyes.

“I—” She quietly cried into her hands. “I love you too. Please, Oto…save me.”