Ch 8: Walking Ray Of Sunshine

As I lay in bed, looking up at the old ceiling of our room with my hands tucked behind my head, my mind wandered.

After I had gotten done coughing my lungs up for the second time in a span of what felt like just a few seconds, Tano had kissed me again, locking me in place with her arms.

She had a curious strength about her at that moment, a kind of fire in her that kept trying to flow over me and burn me up from the inside out.

I hadn’t minded it, of course. It was actually rather nice.

Before Tano or I could take things any further, the door being kicked open by an astronomy class caused us both to separate at lightning speed, our lips parting giving the sonic crack of a bullet a run for its money.

Thankfully for the both of us, both the teacher and his students were hefting telescopes and other star-mapping gear, allowing the two of us several crucial seconds to fix our hair and make ourselves more presentable.

The whole thing still caught me off guard, now that I thought about it, but I suppose the Oni woman found me agreeable and wanted to shake off her cobwebs.

The rest of the night had been a bit of a blur, though Brody and Deckard clocked me as soon as they saw me.

“Again?” Brody had asked, while Deckard just chuckled and shook his head.

Deckard had remarked that he figured the Oni “Had better taste than that”, and they continued to rib me well into the night. It was only now, with them being asleep, that I could actually let my thoughts wander fully.

It was difficult to wrap the mind around, working through the processes that I had just been swapping spit and alcohol with a being that had existed well before the birth of my homeland. Despite the weirdness of it, there was an odd… mystique to it.

The more I thought about it, the more cool with it I became; She was older by a few hundred years, sure, but at what other time would I have the chance to make out with a woman like her? She was as fantasy as fantasy could be, with yellow skin, horns, and those purple eyes of hers.

As the wind hissed past the window to our room, I figured that it wouldn’t do much harm to have a little more fun on this odd little job. I was being paid to shoot at Trolls and other such shit, in a Japanese castle full of wizards, priestesses, and other odd magical folk learning their jobs and spells.

Why not embrace the weird just a little more.

I fell asleep easier that night, my head quieter than it usually was, and awoke with no odd crows coming to me to disturb my rest.

Instead they were waiting for me on the window sill, though it was thankfully just the one crow, likely coming to me with a progress report.

“Mornin’ boss.” The crow said, peering down at me with her black eyes. “I got a prog'ess repah’t for ya.”

I blinked at the crow, as I detested the bostonian accent, but nodded towards her. “Alright.”

“Nuthin' happened.” The crow said, scratching at her cheek with a claw with a bored air. “Wicked boring night. Have a good mornin'.”

Without further word, the crow flew out the window and off into the early morning, leaving me squinting into the early light of the sun that was chasing away the last remnants of the night.

“... Well, that beats the alternative.” I muttered, then got up to get ready for the day.

As I gathered a towel, I once again braced myself for another visit to the washing rooms.

Normally I would call them “the showers”, but the nearest thing to a shower in the damned castle was a garden hose with a spray nozzle. Instead, they all bathed with buckets of water or baths, something that rankled me something fierce.

I had taken to washing myself in the mornings to avoid all the students, as they viewed bathing as some kind of joint, community aspect, while I wanted my privacy. It didn’t help that the entire thing was open air with not a lick of walls or separation, but I soldiered on to make myself clean.

Sitting down on one of the odd, stupid little stools, I pulled on a lever and started a little waterfall of hot water. The spigots, long wooden pipes that had a tendency to spit on you if you moved them around too roughly, all came down from the ceiling and followed simple orders.

They all knew me, though, and knew that I wanted the water poured on me instead of going into a bucket.

The pipes angled themselves and gurgled with water, pouring the steaming waterfall onto my head and washing away the night.

As I washed my hair and worked my body scrubber around my skin, I glanced towards the “pools”.

Hewn from rock and formed with stacked stone, the pools were fed in via hot springs and were constantly pouring steam into the air, though I was still not keen to try them. The signs next to the pools were obvious, and there was no way I was getting nude and relaxing in a pool of near-boiling water like a poached fish.

I was already breaking a lot of rules bringing my sidearm into the bathing areas, but there was no way in hell I was getting caught naked in a castle without something to defend myself with.

Keeping it quick before any students or other staff came calling, I rinsed myself in the waterfall from the pipes, then clapped my hands.

“Thanks fellas, that’ll be it.” I called out to the pipes, wiping the water from my face as the wooden pipes curled away from me, creaking and groaning in their own little language.

While I was toweling myself off, a voice came in from the walled off doorway, and I saw the odd little drapings were parted.

“Amerikajin!” The voice called out, and I could tell purely from the accent it was one of the animal-faced castle staff.

“Yeah?” I called out, my earring appearing to be having trouble translating his voice either due to being wet, or the distance.

He prattled off something in Japanese, and I didn’t understand a lick of it, though he seemed either excited… or annoyed, it was hard to tell.

After shaking my hair clear of water and wrapping the towel around my waist, I stepped my way across the wet stone floor and then up onto the raised wooden platform, poking my head around the wooden barrier.

“You what now?” I asked the man, another one of the badger faced variety.

“The Rogue Priestess left you clothing!” He said, and I could now tell that he was irritated. “Said I have to help you learn how to wear it.”

I looked down at the haori and hakama, dark blue and gray in color, then back to the badger faced man. “I’m not wearing that shit.”

He looked taken back, looking down at the clothing neatly folded in his hands. “What… why not?!”

“I would look fucking ridiculous in that!” I laughed out, swiveling my towel so the split was towards the side of my leg. “Look at me, I would look like a weeaboo after his first day off the airport.”

The badger faced man narrowed his eyes at me, then held the clothing out towards me. “She said I have to make you wear it!”

“I’m not putting that on!” I said down to the man, planting my hands on my hips.

“You’re going to get me in trouble!”

“You’re going to make me look stupid!”

“You looking stupid is not nearly as bad as that Oni woman cursing me!”

“That sounds like a badger problem, not a me problem.”

“Ugh!” The badger faced man growled, shaking the set of clothing at me. “You can wear this stuff with your gear, it won’t be any different!”

I bent at the waist, leaning down towards him. “Like hell! I’m not going to be running around this castle wearing a skirt!”

“It’s not a skirt, they’re trousers!” He hissed, setting down the top and unfolding the hakama trousers. “Look, see? They’re pants.”

“What’s wrong with my pants?” I asked him, pointing at my pair of tactical khaki’s still on their hanger. “Those are made for war, you know. What am I going to do if a fight breaks out and I’m wearing these damn things?”

The badger faced man looked up at me through leveled eyelids, then sighed before holding up the pants again. “Can you at least wear the pants? If I can get you in the pants, she won’t be likely to curse me.”

“And why is that?” I asked him, walking over to my own clothing and pulling my shirt from the stack of folded clothing.

“Because she likes the pants, and would likely enjoy seeing you in them.” He said lowly, setting the other clothing down on a nearby table.

I slowly leaned up from my clothing, then turned my head to look over my shoulder at him.

He must have seen the look on my face, because he folded his arms.

“Uh huh.” He muttered, then snapped his fingers. “Come on, I’ll show you how to tie the belt.

I rolled my eyes, dipped out of sight for a moment to pull on my boxer briefs, then took the odd trousers from his hands. I slipped them on, fought with him for a bit over how high he was trying to put the damn things, and after a bit of fussing with the belt, had them in place.

“There.” He panted, placing his own hands on his waist as he looked me over. “You’re halfway to being civilized.”

I snorted, pulling on my t-shirt and tucking it into the waist of the trousers.

“Aaand it’s ruined.” The badger faced man sighed out, crossing his arms. “Can’t you just wear-”

“Nope.” I piped up, pulling on my baggy thermal and tucking it in as well, though I left the waist a little poofy just to annoy him. “Can I put on my boots now?”

The badger faced man snapped his fingers, and a pair of leather, split toed boots appeared in his hands, along with a long pair of split toe socks. “I assume you won’t be-”

“Fuck no.” I growled, snatching up my combat boots and my wool socks. “Take your ninja shoes and put them in the same place you got that tunic.”

“Barbarian.” The badger faced man muttered, then gathered the rest of the unused clothing and ducked out of the baths.

Feeling ridiculous, I pulled on my socks, fussing with the poofy trousers until I got everything tied into place. I knew I was in for it when Brody and Deckard saw me, but when I got back into the room, they looked nearly as cross as me.

And were also wearing the trouser bottoms.

Having their belts tied into place by a small gaggle of fox faced castle staff, they had the same, furrowed eyebrows that I had had down in the baths.

With a bark of a laugh I alerted them to my presence, and Brody jabbed her finger at me, her face livid.

“Did you put them up to this?!” Brody shouted, then hissed at a female castle staff member when she tried to offer her the tunic again. “They tried to make me wear ninja shoes. Ninja shoes!”

Deckard, more polite in his rebuke of the tunic, patted the tied belt at his waist. “Perhaps they are wanting us to look more in tune with the other staff?”

“Our weapons and plate carriers kinda ruin that look, don’t you think?” I asked as I stepped inside, my odd little trouser pleats swishing as I walked towards my gear.

Brody, at her breaking point at wearing something so skirt-like, grabbed the little fox-faced woman that was bugging her, lifting her up by the neat collar of her kimono. “I. Am. Not. Wearing. The. Tunic.”

“Put down the fox woman, Brody.” I murmured, sliding on my plate carrier and strapping it into place.

Brody growled into the terrified woman’s face, then dropped her with a flicking release of her fingers.

“Swishy.” Deckard mused, lifting a leg and wagging it back and forth. “I’m tempted to wear the shoes.”

While the faces of the castle staff brightened, they fell when I looked over my shoulder.

“Combat boots will suffice, no point in going fully native.” I said, though I regretted the wording as soon as I heard the necks of Brody and Deckard turn towards me. “Hold on, wait-”

“Not going fully native?” Brody guffawed, reaching down and throwing one of the split toed boots at me. “Not going native?! You are one to talk, Ronan!”

I turned around fully after the boot bounced off my shoulder, and I glared at Brody. “We talked about saying my name aloud!”

“I kind of like the shoes.” Deckard mused, holding up the pair in front of him. “They look kinda dashing, you know?”

“Put down the shoes!” I shouted at Deckard, then rounded on Brody. “And stop saying my fuckin’ name!”

Brody, eyes wide with outrage, took a few steps toward me as the castle staff watched in rapt attention, her voice low and impatient. “Why can’t you stop flirting with the locals?! Every job we go on, there’s always some little local honey-peach that gets in your head! The flower woman in South America, the green eyed woman in Afghanistan, that Latina mechanic on the boat, and now a fucking yellow skinned woman with horns!”

“I wasn’t flirting with her!” I spat. “She flirted with me first!”

Brody scoffed harshly at me, throwing her hands in the air before turning to Deckard. “Can you believe this shit?!”

“You can’t blame Ronan for being attractive, Brody.” Deckard said, and he had sneakily already pulled on both a sock and a split toed boot.

“You’re not wearing the fucking boots, Deckard!” I shouted, gesturing at him with a hand. “You don’t even know how to wear those things!”

“You don’t know how to keep your prickling pickle in your shorts!” Brody shouted, shoving me on the shoulder. “If you’re going to go macking on that old ass Fae creature, he can wear the shoes!”

I shoved Brody back, which caused a growl to furl out past her teeth as she stumbled back. “She is not a Fae, she’s just an old… Japan-that’s not the point! Deckard, take off those stupid shoes!”

“He’s wearing the shoes, Ronan!” Brody bellowed, her hair fraying out with outrage.

“Stop saying my name!” I shouted at Brody, then spit out past my lips as she attacked me with her classic power move.

The abyssal early morning-mouth wet willy.

“Get the fuck off of me, Brody!” I screamed as she spider monkeyed her way onto me, getting me in a headlock as she primed her finger in her disgusting ass mouth. “I will shoot you right now Brody, on God I will do it!”

“You are going to feel my wrath, you fucking horn dog!” Brody howled, and she got her legs wrapped around me in a way that made them rather hard to dislodge. She took a lot of judo, which was coming in clutch right about now for her plans. “It’s because you slapped tongues with that Oni woman that they are even making us wear this shit!”

Deckard let out a little chuckle as he wiggled his new boots back and forth from where he sat, while Brody and I warred across the futons. “Huh, these feel kinda cool. Are these better for climbing, you think?”

As I screamed out in rage at Brody’s finger entering my freshly cleaned ear canal, the fox faced castle staff shrugged.

“They’re better for climbing, but you have better ankle support in your big war boots.” A woman replied, pointing to Deckard’s combat boots while I roared and planted both myself and Brody into a futon to try and dislodge her. “These will be better for walking around the castle though.”

“Well alright.” Deckard replied happily, giving his big toes a wiggle while Brody and I did our best to kill each other in the background, blankets and pillows flying through the air like unfortunate, second-hand victims.

—

After I washed out my ear and Brody fixed her hair, we all went down for breakfast. Despite my demands, Deckard kept the damn Japanese boots on while Brody and I wore our usuals, and we made quite the splash during breakfast.

While we all wore the trousers, we still wore our normal upper torso garments and our combat gear. With the addition of our battle belts, we were quite the sight, judging by the faces of the students.

Tano looked pretty enthused as well, judging by the hooded-lid glances she was giving me over the top of her laced hands. She was sitting with the other teachers, and looking rather smug to see me in hakama trousers.

“You are such a fucking schmuck.” Brody grumbled as she stood in line behind me, noticing Tano staring at me, and me smiling at Tano. “Every where we go, every fucking time.”

Deckard, behind the both of us, leaned forward and pointed down to his shoes. “These really are comfortable though.”

“Oh fuck off with your damn ninja shoes, Deckard.” I grumbled, then let out a hiss of pain as Brody jammed her knuckles into my spine.

I couldn’t retaliate since it was my turn at the porridge cauldron, and they didn’t serve this stuff at the tables.

With an eye twitch and a grimace, I took my bowl, slyly caught Brody with a swift stomach punch as I walked by her, and made my way to our usual sitting point.

Breakfast came and went, as it always did, though the rice porridge was a nice shaking up of the usual fish, rice, and egg.

Before we all parted for our rounds, Brody had managed to find a spare radio antenna and catch me on the hamstrings with it, then sprinted off into the castle. She left behind me breathing in through my teeth, knees on the old castle stone floor while Deckard giggled behind me.

“You two never get along do you?” He said, watching me struggle back up onto my feet.

I hissed as I turned, eyeing him hotly. “Not since the third boat trip along Somalia.”

“You threw her Switch overboard.” Deckard reminded me, holding up a finger.

“She bit me!” I said in outrage, remembering back to that very moment when Brody got pissed I beat her at Mario Kart.

Deckard just shook his head, and waved goodbye as he set off on his rounds.

Both smarting from catching a whipped antenna to the back of my legs and having to deal with pants that caught far more wind than I was used to, I began to make my rounds as well.

It was getting colder already, this far up into the mountains, and the chill would require more than a thermal during the day time. Wearing a thick sweater and a plate carrier was my favorite feeling though, so I actually looked forward to the times where I could be cozy, warm, and tactical without needing a thick jacket.

While making my way along the halls, there was a new classroom door open, and I stopped to peer inside.

It took me a moment to understand what was going on inside the room, but as I slowly took in what my earring was giving me, it was a class purely dedicated to future priests.

Wearing all white, or white trousers with differently colored tops, all the students were specializing in the more priestly ways of magic, and were currently taking turns banishing some minor demon of some sorts.

As I watched, nodding to the students and waving at those who waved at me, they wielded broader wands that looked like paddles, wands with multiple brass bells, or great rods of tired ribbons.

I had to fight to not laugh when one female priestess was having issues banishing the demon to the little target vial, and ended up beating the demon across the ground with her wand, forcing it to get into the vial with repeated whacks.

While not as smooth as the other students, I did approve of her moxie.

After watching them all do their attempts to banish the, likely taxed, minor demon, I made my way down the hallway to another classroom. The door was open, and I was a curious sort, so I poked my head inside.

All the students here wore bell shaped, straw hats with slots in the front to see through, and were painting letters with large brushes. When they would complete the letter, they would then send it flying towards a target dummy tied to the wall, observing the effects of their spell.

I found this rather interesting, watching the letters set the dummy ablaze, freeze it, or cause it to start attacking itself with its wooden arms.

When this, too, wore out my interest, I made my way down the hallway to the other classrooms.

A lot of them were the normal bookwork, studying, getting graded on general essays, potions results, wand wielding, enchanting, and the usual things one would expect from a school where wizards went to learn.

There was an outlier though in what was apparently magical fashion, and the classroom had the most female students out of the bunch. They appeared to be learning how to weave enchanted threads in certain ways to create fortifying clothing, or learning how to bewitch tools to craft a kimono shirt in a day.

This was not nearly as interesting to me, so I departed rather quickly.

An hour away from lunch, I popped outside to get some fresh air after inhaling the smoke from a classroom I had thought was on fire. The smoke had actually been coming from a little dragon creature that had been fed the wrong food, and was expelling smoke from its… well.

It was getting the smoke out the most efficient way possible.

Breathing in the fresh, chilly air cleared my mind, crossing my arms across the top of my rifle as I looked out along the mountains around the castle.

It never failed that places like this were made around mountains, in some ways I wondered if it was a requirement or something.

“There’s magic in them there hills…” I murmured to myself, but jumped when I heard Tano behind me.

“But there is magic in the hills.” Tano said with a smile as I turned around, she was wearing her usual checkered kimono… but was wearing a bright yellow “Love! Live! Sunshine!” shirt.

I raised my eyebrows to her, then pulled out the side of my pants. “This your doing?”

“What?” Tano asked me, walking towards me with even steps as she grinned at me. “You look good in them.”

I sneered at her, wiggling the pants back and forth. “What is there to hate about the pants I was wearing?! These don’t even have pockets!”

“Your vest has pockets.” Tano replied cooly, flicking at the flap of my information pouch. “Do you really need all those other pockets around your pants? Deckard seems to like the shoes though.”

I shook my head, sighing out ruefully. “He should be wearing his regular ass boots, but you have him running around like some kind of tactical ninja.”

“Ninja’s did not wear those.” Tano said with a smirk, though she did hook a finger in my vest molle-webbing. “Ninjas wore waraji.”

“Gesundhiet.” I murmured as Tano closed the distance between us, right up to her chest being an inch away from me.

Tano giggled, then gave my vest a light pull. “Schönheit.”

“Oh you’re funny.” I said, though a laugh did bubble up in my chest as I said it. “Since when did you know German?”

Tano shrugged, hooking two of her fingers into my webbing now. “We got all kinds coming here to study. Zauberers from Northern Germany, Hexenmeisters from Southern Germany, Shamans from the deep woods of the hidden lands in the Schwartzwald, all kinds.”

“I see.” I said, looking down at her as she kept looking up at me with those big ol’ purple eyes. “Is there a reason why you are hooking your fingers into my webbing there, Oni woman?”

Tano never stopped grinning up at me as she began to slowly pull on my plate carrier, and didn’t stop pulling down until her lips met mine.

We kissed for a long moment, and when we pulled away, a question was burning on my mind. At least one question was, there were a lot of things going through my mind but none of them were polite to discuss in the open.

“Why me?” I asked her quietly, reaching up with a hand to run the back of my finger along her cheek.

Tano hummed in her throat as she kept her eyes right on mine, her cheeks flushing with that odd, green tinge. When she spoke, her voice was quiet. “You know… I don’t know what it is. There is just something about you I just can’t explain.”

“Don’t ever let Brody hear you say that.” I chuckled quietly. “She’ll start telling you stories that you have no need to hear.”

Tano raised a chocolate brown eyebrow. “Is that right? Have you been running around the world sowing wild oats, Ronan?”

At the sound of her lips letting my name past them, I slowly let my head tilt backwards, and sighed out towards the sky.

“Interesting name.” Tano said, her voice aloof as she moved her hands and instead hooked a finger into a loop on my battle belt. “Gaelic, or Celtic, in nature, meaning ‘little seal’ and linked to the ancient beings known as the selkies. Shapeshifters known to take the form of seals, born aloft on tales of tragic romances and a longing for the sea.”

At this I rolled my eyes, and started slowly walking forward to continue my rounds around the outer castle walls. “I don’t like the ocean too much, and you may be sad to hear it, but I cannot, in fact, turn into a seal.”

“And how about tragic romances?” Tano asked me, keeping her finger hooked onto my battle belt as she walked beside me.

My lips twitched in response, and she giggled softly to herself.

“Ah.” Tano breathed out, her teeth bright in the corner of my vision. “I see.”

“There is nothing to see here.” I murmured, giving her a light bump with my hip. “These are not the tragic romances you are looking for.”

Tano laughed, the kind that makes men’s hearts melt and want to stay in that laugh for as long as they could. I smiled at her, and she placed the side of her head against my arm.

“I’m glad you came here.” Tano said with another laugh, pulling at my waist with her hooked finger. “Hundreds of years of boredom, and all it took was an odd man from a country younger than even I.”

“Hey, don’t age shame my nation.” I said, reaching over and pinching her nose.

She giggled, which turned into another laugh, in which she then stopped me and stood on my toes, giving my plate carrier a tug.

I rolled my eyes, but bent down, taking her lips with mine as she made a softer, more vulnerable noise in her throat.

Since I wanted to keep kissing her, but didn’t want to have my spine slightly bent forward the entire time, I picked her up, my arms cradling just under the seat of her pants. Tano laughed, a girlish giggle that did not fit her age but fit her flesh, and I carried her around the corner into a murder hole.

The position had a small bench a few inches off the ground, and I set Tano upon it, allowing us to see eye to eye.

Tano let out low, teasing chuckles as she slowly laced her arms around my neck, then let out a soft grunt as she went to lean forward.

“Could you put that somewhere else?” Tano asked with a half grin, nodding down towards the M110 that was trying to leave room for Jesus between us.

“Ah, right.” I said, switching my hold on the sling and moving the rifle behind me.

“There we go.” Tano said quietly, then repositioned herself in front of me with her arms around my neck.

I wrapped my arms around her waist, letting my hands rest somewhere interesting, and the two of us did not leave the murder hole for a curiously long while.