Chapter 6:

Memories

Xorsis : Invasion\Lost


Two weeks later, when Nia and Aez entered Dottonex city through its gates, they both gasped in surprise. When they had left, there were buildings under fire, many houses were breaking down. People had tried to start fires and burn the undead when they couldn’t kill them, and that’s why so many houses were burnt down.

But now, it seemed as if the invasion was a long dream; the buildings and houses were almost restored to their original states. Aaron said that the Tokreians had helped them out; the invasion was shorter than they had expected it to be - it wasn’t like a primal attack of blood-thirst beasts, it was more like an arranged march of soldiers - except the soldiers weren’t human. And that frightened the government, whether they liked to admit it or not. What if there was some antisocial group, maybe a gang behind this? After all, they all knew of the gangs that had settled in Cridelford a few years back, when the third war had ended. No one wanted something like that in Dottonex.

But if that possibility was true - that an antisocial group was behind the invasion - they had to have high skills in science; after all, being able to control such an array of mindless soldiers required that proficiency in science, something even Tokrei couldn’t achieve yet.

There was an interesting observation on the invasion. The undead couldn’t cause major casualties in the inner areas of Dottonex. In fact, many of these undeads had fallen down in those areas, unable to harm anyone. The scientists had tried to test them to see what was special about them, but unfortunately, so far the tests revealed nothing extraordinary. Even Tokreians couldn’t find anything strange about them.

However, Aaron told them that the Dottonexan scientists had a theory on this matter. They believed that this group had to have something like a central command of power; that is, they could control these beasts around a definite area from the centre. The control on the beasts lessened the further they went from this power centre.

“You know what that sounds like?” Aez said, frowning, “It’s like an electric field due to a point charge. The effect of the field decreases as you go further from the point charge. But in this case…”

“There’s no proof. Just a hypothesis for now.” Aaron replied. “But if that antisocial group has technology like this - damn it.”

It was unsettling.

They didn’t even know where this group was located. And Tokreians said, where they lived, there weren’t any such nations who had control over ‘corpses’.

There were so many questions. How could such a powerful group exist somewhere without letting anyone know of their presence? The first two undeads killed off two Tokreians. Was it a mere coincidence or was it not? If they were aiming to kill Tokreians in the first place, why did they wait till they reached Dottonex?

But there weren’t any answers yet.

Upon arriving in Dottonex, Nia, Aez and Aaron headed to the headquarters.It was evening by the time they reached Dottonex gates, and so they’d have to stay the night in the headquarters until dawn arrived. There were security patrols all over in Dottonex city, and going outside after nine at night was strictly prohibited, in case they attacked again.

Nia and Aez sat down in two chairs around a table in Aaron’s office in the headquarters. Aaron always kept tea in his thermo flask (which he was awarded for being a reliable soldier shortly after joining the military - commodities like these were rare among the common people). He poured tea in three cups, pushed two towards two of them, and finally sat down in another chair.

Nia looked outside once more - even though she had been staring at everything all the time they were walking in the streets. Some burnt down houses were still there, but the majority were just fine. Except, the houses were vacant mostly. It was around eight there, and so, although the security measures were from nine, most remaining shops had shut down, and lights flickered in a few of the houses.

Everything about that scenery brought an awful hollowness and pain in her chest.

“Judging by how the affected area was in a circular pattern,” Aaron said, “The central point of control theory sounds accurate enough to me. The hypothetical control point would be in the forest - that’s all we know so far.”

“That could explain why the forest has no animals - maybe they have been killing them all,” said Aez thoughtfully.

“It would all have been simple if just by searching the forest we could have answers,” replied Aaron with a sigh. “After the invasion, our best search party was sent to the forest, equipped with all necessary weapons. They were told to eliminate any threats, if found.”

He paused. Picking up his cup of tea from the table, he sipped, and then said, “And. They found nothing.”

Aez frowned.

“Like I said. If that’s all there was to it, it would have been simple. We wouldn’t need to form a pact - Dottonex’s soldiers are enough for that. But the fact is that it wasn’t so - that’s why we needed this TDC pact, between the current three major nations. Tokrei’s technologies will surely help us out, if any worse situations occur. And Cridelford could take in Dottonexan refugees if in case the worst happened to Dottonex, though it could be vice versa.”

“Cridelford accepted it?” Nia asked, surprised. “They were trying their best to prove that somehow everything that has happened was linked with us!”

“They wouldn’t, normally. But judging by the height of the problem, they had to. You see, that’s how Cridelford always had been. Giving a strike whenever there’s a chance.”

“What strike?” Aez asked.

“Blaming Dottonexan refugees,” Nia replied before Aaron could. “Cridelford’s government hasn’t been able to control the economy of their nation after these huge wars. The gangs weren’t the only trouble. Even after that ended, the common people suffered, they couldn’t cope with the poverty. Even now, the situation hasn’t changed,” she said in a dark tone, “Word is that rebels have been killing other people there - especially the government officials, because they aren’t doing anything to improve their lives. Though the rebels are few in numbers.”

“Right,” Aaron continued the rest, “In case there is some internal conflict in the future for which many of their officials die, they’ll easily put the blame on Dottonexan refugees, saying they were involved.”

“They can’t prove it,” Aez shook his head, “Why would any of the common people believe their words? It’s insane!”

“But that would be enough,” Aaron said, sighing, “Look. The majority of the common people of Cridelford, although impoverished, don’t trust the rebels. They still believe that their government can still change the situation for the better.”

“Despite it being thirteen years?”

“Despite it being thirteen years. Pushing the blame game on us - by representing the actual ‘enemy’, and executing them, they’d win the hearts of the foolish ‘patriots’ who trust the government, which is the majority of the common people, and it could help stabilize their internal conflicts.”

“But why would the people even want to believe it?” Aez asked, “I don’t understand! They’ve been seeing for years that it was their government at fault, haven’t they?”

Aaron sniggered. “Because if they believed so, there’d be no one left to depend on. The truth - that their nation is failing and if nothing improves for fifty more years, they’d pretty much disappear - if the people believed it, it would bring in a mass panic. And people, subconsciously, do not want that. They don’t want to believe that truth, because whatever rosy painted future they have in mind, that’d just be shattered.”

Aez gaped, not knowing what to say. Aaron took another sip from his cup and spoke.

“Well, it’s not our country. So, to be honest, I don’t care. And I don’t have too. I’m pretty sure the higher ups who came up with the plan of this pact have considered all these, and still found this was the only way to strike on the enemy when they arrive here. Your tea’s getting cold, Nia.”

The next morning, Nia and Aez could both go home, said Aaron. Though, Nia didn’t see the point of staying at that home anymore. She opened the lock on the door. The police had investigated the place, like they did everyone else’s house - to search for clues. Though, they found nothing of interest.

Nia entered through the door.

There was no one, nothing. Just a huge house, the same as before - except, the few items were misplaced here and there from that night, and there was dust all around, and there was a strange smell of isolation. Looking down, Nia noticed the dried trails of blood on the white floor.

Nia’s heart was racing. She didn’t want to look at that. Avoiding it, she ran upstairs.

There, her room was just the same. The door was left closed though. Opening it, she could see the same mythological book on fiends lying open in the bed; the fountain pen she had broken in the morning lying at a corner on the floor, her small indoor plant dried and dead, her bed a mess, as if someone had got up from there in a hurry, though that someone hadn’t returned in a long time.

Downstairs, the kitchen was just the same. Her grandmother on that day had left some curry to eat the next day, and that was now covered with fungus. The knives were scattered here and there. Leo’s furs were lying on the floor, he had tried to bite and kill the undead that was in their home.

After every sound she made, every time she opened a door or a cabinet, she expected someone to call her by her name - “Nia! Back already?” “Nia, how was today?” or “Nia, don’t open that cabinet, it’s almost breaking down.” Maybe there could be “You shouldn’t keep those things there,” “what do you want to eat today?”

There were so many words all around - all of that one voice. And now, there was nothing. Aaron said that it was best that Nia wasn’t around when the funeral happened. Or when they recovered her grandmother’s body. Nia could sense that it was probably a bloody mess, judging by the red on the floor.

But the echoes in her ears were growing stronger. She couldn’t stand or sit down at any one place. The second there were some natural noises, she’d almost jump; she was scared, she felt like she was being watched, or that someone was standing behind her all the time. And at the same time, the voices were there. The familiar faces were coming up and disappeared behind the staircase, or the pillar.

She couldn’t take it. The memories were growing on her, the guilt was eating her.

I left her behind.

I left Leo behind.

I abandoned them all.

I'm pathetic - I’m the most horrible person in the world.

How do I dare to show my face here? My parents - I couldn’t do anything about them; but I could have helped Granny - but I was still a coward, I didn’t stay by her side, how could I do this to her? What was I even thinking?

She couldn’t stare at anything in the house anymore. She clasped her hands around her face in fear. It was as if the blood on the floor was colouring everything into dark shades of red. The world was darkening. And in that darkness, it was as if she could see those two red eyes of the undead, glaring at her. If she had died at that moment, would that thing - that undead - have stopped looking for her grandmother?

The darkness was frightening her. Then she noticed - it was as if a person from that darkness was building up, standing before her. Nia looked at its face. Gasping, she staggered back - a bloody face of her grandmother had formed and she could hear the face calling her name, “Nia” - but it was no longer her beautiful voice - it was the voice of a tortured soul.

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.

Nia wanted to burst into tears.

I’m sorry.

But after a few moments, everything blacked out; Nia couldn’t see anything - she could only hear a voice inside her head which repeated certain words that Aaron had told them earlier. She couldn’t see who it was, but she knew this voice. Nia’s eyes widened in shock - it was still there? She knew that this voice existed in her head from a few years ago; but she didn’t know why. Nia never listened to it though, and over time, she thought that it would disappear. It was never clear. But now, the voice was taking control.

That voice was the only one who could understand what she felt now, because it had been there all the time. And without thinking it through, she accepted that voice.

And the next moment, Nia felt something strange. It felt as if she was weightless and she was floating; the room was still there, even she could see herself sitting in the room, clasping her hands about her head. It felt as if, Nia noted in fear, she was out of her own body. What was this feeling?

The voice was still there. And what it said was correct. Nia wasn’t powerless. She knew exactly what to do. There was a way to take revenge on those who had done it to them. But did Nia want to do it? Nia hesitated.

The voice inside her head interfered.

Are you okay with them dying for nothing?

You aren’t. You have to do something.

And Nia agreed to it.

I’ll never be at peace with this.

Never…

That floating feeling disappeared. But Nia felt zoned out; it was as if she was in a sort of trance. She could notice herself bringing out a bag. But she couldn’t think clearly.

She watched herself put some of the books, a few pieces of paper, fountain pen and ink, and some of her dresses inside the bag. A black and white photo of her, her grandmother and Leo’s was lying on the table. She took it too. Then closing the bag, she walked downstairs.

Nia had only one thought in her mind.

The voice was correct. And she’d do it.

She closed all the windows she had opened. Grabbing the lock, she wore her slippers and walked out, locking the building. Then she walked to Aez’s house.

He was as usual, sitting down at one corner of his room, though seeing Nia outside, he dashed out.

“What?” he was beginning to ask, then stopped, seeing the bag in her hand, “Where are you going?”

“The headquarters,” Nia said in a rush, “Your brother did mention that there was going to be an anti-undead army, right?”

“Uh, yeah, guess he did,” he replied, his face showing concern. “Nia-”

“Thank you. Then, I’ll head to the headquarters.”

“What?” he asked, and then the next moment he realised, “You can’t be serious!” Aez grabbed her shoulders. “You do realise that’s a suicide march? People who join them - they can’t return anymore, they are signing up for their entire lives. But you don’t have to do that! We need to wait a few days, and then, colleges -”

“Aez, did you ever know?”

The trance had disappeared, but Nia wouldn’t turn back now. The voice was correct all along.

Nia tried to smile at him. She wondered if it looked so pitiful, for Aez’s grip on her shoulders was tighter, and he tried to keep his face up and look strong, though he was failing; there were tears streaming down his cheeks.

“You- stupid, suicidal-” he spoke.

“I never was ambitious like you, you know,” Nia said, interrupting him, “All I ever wanted was to get out of college, get a job, and live in peace with them. But they aren’t there anymore. It’s not the same, you know? Even if you are here - they were my everything-”

“We could do it all over again - find another Leo together - live through the rest of the days, when college starts - we can walk through that field again-”

“But there won’t be my grandmother fetching us if we stayed late sitting there. But there won’t be anyone complaining about the dog, then liking its company more than us.”

“Nia-”

“The life we’ve lost, it’s not coming back anymore. I’ve realised that. And that’s why,” she smiled, pushing his hands away from her shoulders, “I too, should walk on. I want to be somewhat useful, you know, not just some pathetic existence who was always a burden to her best friend and family-”

Like the voice had suggested. It’s the only way I’ll ever feel okay, by avenging their deaths.

“You were never a burden to me!”

“Well then, see you later, Aez,” she smiled at Aez as she walked back, Aez’s form was growing smaller in her eyes. “Thank you for being by my side, all the time.”

Nia walked away, then suddenly, Aez’s voice came from behind.

“I’ll come.”

Nia couldn’t believe her ears.

“What got into you?” Nia yelled at him, “Don’t you want to become a researcher?”

“Letting you die like that?” he shouted back, “Do you still remember the promise we had made on that day?”

“That was-” she averted his gaze, “That’s irrelevant now.”

“To you, but not to me.” he said, “even if you don’t keep that promise, I will.”

“Don’t be stupid,” Nia said. She felt very angry, why was he always like this? “You have been working hard all these years, just so that you could become a scientist! You were thinking about your dream all the time in Cridelford, how can you refuse it just like that?”

“But that’s what you did too! You abandoned all of your dreams just because-”

“You don’t get it!” Nia snapped.

He’s a stupid boy, the voice was saying, he doesn’t know anything about how it feels!

But she was surprised at those words.

What am I doing? Nia tried to think, resisting the voice. The one who had lost more in childhood, it wasn’t her, it was Aez - growing up in the empty rooms, embracing the loneliness all around him, the hollowness of the absence of his parents being the only real thing he could feel. She gasped at her own stupidity.

But the voice inside kept speaking. Revenge. You can’t stop now that you have made the decision. The pain was growing. Nia didn’t want to think, she didn’t want to fight with the voice anymore.

And so, she gave in.

“It’s my personal reason,” she growled at Aez, “You have nothing to do with it!”

Aez was taken aback. They both remained silent for a few moments.

Then he spoke. “If that’s how you want to say it,” Aez’s voice was calm, cold and very distant. “Then it’s my personal decision too,” he said in quiet rage. “And you have nothing to do with it either.”

The two didn’t speak to each other until they arrived at the headquarters. They walked together, though they didn’t look at each other at all, and there weren’t any words exchanged. But their speed of walking, somehow still matched, maybe it was because they were used to walking together always.

Aaron’s brother was furious at both of them.

“Do you two even know what you are trying to do?”

“Of course I know,” said Nia calmly, “I’ve made up my mind. Please, I’m an adult, and I’m sure I have the ability to make my decisions.”

“Me too,” said Aez, “I wouldn’t just sit and watch her die like that.”

“Stop it, Aez,” said Nia finally, looking at his black eyes directly, “Your brother has worked hard, because you had a dream you wanted to pursue. And now, when the time’s finally here, you’re going to abandon that all? Only because I’m here?”

“I think we’ve already talked,” Aez replied in the same cold voice. Nia hated it. “We have our personal reasons, and none of us have to make it clear to the other.”

Aaron grimaced. “If a fight is the reason you two are here- go home already.”

“Oh, let them sign up,” said a woman officer, who was enlisting the names. Nia looked at her. She was tall and slim, and had very short brown straight hair. “You two really think that just by signing up, you get a rifle and boom, action and killing?” she laughed softly, “Aren’t you two still children?”

“I’m eighteen actually,” said Nia in an angry voice, “Of course I don’t think that way, I’m not stupid. I’m prepared-”

“There’ll be a lot of training,” the woman replied curtly now, “And you only get to become a soldier if you make the cut there. And judging by how short-tempered you are, I doubt it. The boy though, Aez, was it? Maybe if you can keep that emotionless mask up for hours, you could be fine.”

“Oh, don’t be silly,” said Nia, sniggering, “Aez was the worst in sports. He definitely isn’t the sort of person to be in the military. If you really want someone to not be here, tell him.”

“And are you the winning sports girl in your school?” the woman laughed.

“You are actually right about that, I am.”

“Well, we’ll see,” the woman turned to Aaron, “Dear, shall I write both their names?”

Aaron scowled at them. “You two aren’t turning back, are you?”

Neither Nia nor Aez replied.

“Well, write them down then,” Aaron spoke to the woman, and then turned to them, “Just know, it is nothing like how you expect it. If you are here for glory and such - forget it. There’s only one truth - that’s cruelty. The jobs we do make us heroes to everyone, but in the end, it’s a perspective. And when you see from our side, there’s nothing like that.”

“This world is cruel,” Nia smiled, and felt Aez’s gaze on her, though she didn’t turn her head. “And I’ve seen it enough by now. It’s okay, I’m ready to accept it all.”

I’ve already given in to the voice. There’s no turning back now.

“If you understand that truly,” Aaron spoke in a cold voice, “and still you want it, there’s nothing I can do to stop you. But as a brother, I’ll keep telling you. Don’t. There’s no future here.”

At that moment, someone burst inside through the door. Nia turned and noticed it was a boy. His dark skin was scratched at many places, his hair was messy. His clothes were dusty and ragged, and he looked like he hadn’t eaten for days.

“Who are you, and do you realise that this is the headquarters-”

But Aaron was interrupted. “Of course I do,” he said. His voice was deep and gravelly. “I’m here to sign up as an anti-undead personnel.”

Nia noticed his eyes were stern, but there was a fire burning in them.

“Seventy five recruits in a day?” the woman said enthusiastically, “I can’t believe it. And there they were, thinking there would be no one willing to sign up. Dottonex is a strange nation, isn’t it?”

“Believe me, even I get surprised,” Aaron said, sighing, “Maybe people here don’t understand the value of life because they didn’t participate in those cruel wars in the middle ages. No one lost anything in decades long pointless wars.”

“That makes sense,” the woman replied, and her voice was missing the earlier liveliness now, “When I think about it - it really sounds so stupid. So many deaths because of a mythological scroll. The first war happened just because Crilania wanted to expand their empire. But the other two wars? They are pointless, like you said.”

Sighing, she continued, “The second war happened because apparently Nevidilandi was told to fight - and the scroll told them so? That’s ridiculous, no matter how many times I think about that.”

“And the third war, because Cridelford, back then known as Crilania, wanted that power. It’s all a bunch of nonsense - and that’s all we call ‘history’,” Aez replied, sighing. “Look what that did. A full nation - Nevidilandi - was wiped out. Of course, Cridelford doesn’t accept it - but who else did that, if it wasn’t them?”

“Nevidilandi got back what it did,” replied the woman sternly, “After all, both of those countries - they together divided Pensylan and Estoyca among them, as if it was a fruit. Such cruelty…”

Nia knew all these things already. She had read the history books so many times that it was all memorised now. Truly, there were some horrifying times before. Nia, Aez, they both had hoped to put those stuff behind and move on with their lives, and maybe if it happened, many years later, the truth of their parents’ deaths would only seem like a fever dream.

We believed we were lucky. Somehow - those times when we thought so - all that remained of them… were only memories.

Arrhythmia
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