Monsters and Angels

Hayami was flabbergasted. Dumbfounded. Astonished and amazed by Oto’s response. She had been honest, sharing herself openly and laying herself bare before him by revealing that she was the daughter of a rival mob syndicate. The fact that she was a murderer. That she had been sent to kill him and had gunned his brother down in cold blood. Letting him know that she was undeserving of his love.

And yet, none of it mattered to him.

“What?” She replied, confusion setting in. “Did you hear me?”

“Yes,” Oto replied, a hand over his mouth in disbelief. “Your father is a harbourmaster, like pa-pa. But, I thought you were poor, Hayami?”

“I—”

“Hayami!” Oto scolded, cutting her off. “What's your excuse for not knowing what a yacht was?! A harbourmaster's daughter should know what a yacht is!”

A slack-jawed Hayami inspected Oto’s face and posture. She was positive that he was more upset about her not revealing her tax returns than the fact that she was a murderer. But, she wasn’t sure how it was possible.

Her entire life had been lived in the shadows. Away from the public eye, and people, and anyone who would ever dream of being close to her. It was because of her secret. That she was a murderer. A cold-blooded killer who had taken mothers and fathers, slaughtered entire families, all because one man told her to. And then, the first time she told someone, they didn’t flinch.

The boy she had begun to fall in love with didn’t so much as bat an eye at the idea of blood-soaked hands. A boy who panicked at the sight of holes in a suit jacket more than the carnage left in the streets of Capitana.

So she convinced herself that he was too stupid to understand her crimes and began to scream.

“Oto! I killed people! I’ve killed lots of people!”

“I know, Hayami!” He yelled in reply. “It’s not like the paparazzi you pointed your guns at suddenly decided to take a nap. I know what killing is. But how did you not know what a ball was? Your family is obviously rich! They must also have absolutely massive balls!”

Hayami looked away. She wanted to laugh at the idiot. To scream, and cry, and laugh some more. After waiting for so long, she dreamt of telling her secret to someone and having them run away. Or worse. She wanted them to be afraid of her. To confirm what her father told her so many times over so many years: that she was an unlovable monster.

But Oto refused.

“Enough talk about balls, Oto!” Hayami continued to scream. “The people of Capitana weren’t the only people I’ve killed. Women and children—”

“So you’re an equal opportunity killer! Good for you! But why do you only eat scrambled eggs in the morning? Why not an Eggs Benedict or the Brazilian tapioca pancakes with caramelized pineapple? Or a damn ham, cheese and egg buckwheat galette?!”

“Does my breakfast choice really matter more than the fact that I killed your brother, Oto?”

“It does, Hayami! It’s the most important meal of the day!”

Rubbing her hands over her face, Hayami crouched down and sat on her heels. She was so angry that she wanted to scream until her voice gave out. Cry until there wasn’t an ounce of moisture left in her body. Fade away until no one could remember who she or the White Tiger were. And, most of all, she wanted Oto to hate her.

Hayami wanted the loving boy to despise her. To want her dead and gone and buried at sea, where her body could be consumed by the fish and crushed by the depths. She wanted him to hate her for what she did to his brother—to their brother. Both of them were in no way related, yet still shared a single half-sibling. And she took him away from them both.

“I killed him, Oto! I killed our brother. You should hate me! I want you to hate me! Why won’t you just hate me! I'm a monster.”

She began to sob into her hands, no longer able to keep the emotions in. Her body shook aggressively as pained wails slipped between her lips.

And then, in her pain and anguish, she felt his soft embrace take her in. She wanted to flee. Escape. Run away from him. But she couldn’t move. Her body had given out, and instead she collapsed against his chest, sobbing deeply as she mourned a man she never knew.

“Hayami…” Oto eventually whispered to her, gently rubbing her soft hair with loving strokes. “I could never hate you. I love you.”

“But,” She tried to speak. “Y-your brother…”

“He was the monster.”

With a sniffle, Hayami’s sobbing lessened as she looked up at him. Her amber eyes were red with pain and suffering, swollen with tears that stuck to her long lashes like dew to a blade of grass.

“W-what?”

“Oh yes, Corbin was absolutely awful,” Oto explained softly as he rubbed the sadness from her cheeks. “Truly a dreadful human being. He used to torment me relentlessly as a boy. This one time, he took my chipugua, Cheeseman and—”

“I—what? Chipugua?”

“A dog breed. Chihuahua-pug mix.”

“And you named it Cheeseman?”

“Yes, Cheesy—the little scamp—once ate an entire wheel of cheese. I don’t know how he did it, but it stunk up the entire house for weeks!”

Hayami became silent as she watched Oto speak. Yet again, his stupidity was slowly disarming her. But she would let him continue this time, because she was learning something about him. And, allegedly, something about their half-brother.

“Anyways, one day, at this very villa, Corbin came up to me and ripped Cheeseman from my arms. He waltzed his way to the edge of the terrace where we have our breakfasts, and kicked him—right over the edge!”

The girl gasped at this, her eyes growing wide as she looked at Oto as he told his story. While she couldn’t believe someone would be so senselessly cruel, she couldn’t help but feel a sense of shame as she remembered the many more awful things she had done. So she remained quiet, listening as he went on.

“By the time I knew what was happening,” He continued. “My little Cheesy was gone—lost to the waves far below. And do you know what Corbin told me? He looked at me, his cold gaze meeting mine, and said ‘Listen here, you little pissant. I’m going away, and when I return, I’m sending you to join that mutt of yours. Say your prayers, useless idiot!’ And then walked away from me.”

“Oh my God, Oto, I’m—”

But Oto held a hand up, because he was not yet done with his tale.

“He left that afternoon, on a business trip to the city, and you know what I did, Hayami?” He looked up at her, watching as she shook her head and waited for him to continue. “I did something I had never done before. I prayed. I prayed that someone, anyone, would protect me. That they would take my brother far away, so that he would never do to me what he did to little Cheesy. And, you know what happened? The next morning, I awoke to an awful commotion. Corbin had returned, filled with bullet holes.”

Oto’s eyes began to tear as a weak smile crossed his lips. Lips that twitched, trying not to smile or frown, but remaining as neutral as they had been since he began talking. Then, as he looked at her, he couldn’t help but free them of their bindings to reveal a happy smirk.

“My prayers had been answered. An angel had protected me in the night. Before you even knew me, Hayami, you had already saved me...saved me from him. And then again on the train and the gas station, and Capitana, and the island—you’re not some monster, Hayami. You’re an angel. The one I prayed for. My angel.”

Tears began to roll down Oto’s cheeks as his smile trembled, holding back his own sobs. And though he cried, there was no pain in his eyes, but reverence, happiness, and joy.

“Do you understand now, Hayami? I could never hate you. Knowing this has done nothing but make me love you more. My sweet, beautiful guardian. My angel. My Hayami.”

Her heart raced as she looked up at him. Reaching a hand to his cheek, she cradled it in her palm, feeling the weight of his face as he rested it against her touch.

Hayami leaned up, tears flowing from her eyes, no longer sad, but happy. Happy that even with her demons, she could still be someone’s angel.

“I understand.” She whispered to him, her lips reaching for his. “And…I love you too, Oto.”

And then, locked in each other's tender embrace as the morning sun shone through the ballroom windows, they kissed.