His Girlfriend

“Is that really the first question you are asking?” Natsumi was laughing for a moment.

“Well that's the knowledge I may use in many situations.” Kazuya pretended to be serious but regretted he could not talk to her face to face just to see her smile.

“Like?” The girl got curious and started waving her legs.

“You will find out. Why should I tell you about all my tricks right in the beginning. I am not that easy, we were only on one date.” The idol reprimanded her, hearing it seemed quite funny for her.

“It’s white and before you ask me why, it's because it's a perfect base. You can add anything to it to make something spectacular but it's barely possible to reverse it. What about you?”

“I thought you were not interested in getting to know each other.” Kazuya wanted to check how much he can let himself tease, and it would be definitely easier if they were together.

“I guess I am not so strong willed after all and let’s say I got curious if you have something more to offer than a pretty face.” She hit back, making the idol think she would be a fair opponent and demanding partner and even lack of experience in dating couldn’t discourage him.

“It's green since my grandma was into crocheting and the first thing she did for me was a weird green creature, which was supposed to be a teddy bear, but I was so touched by her efforts, so it stayed with me.”

A single teardrop was going down on Natsumi's cheek, she heard in Kazuya's voice something she knew too well herself. The longing, overwhelming and hidden for a really long time, because they had no right to show it, so no one would be worried.

“You are actually a human being,” she smiled, remembering how many times Kiki reminded her about this basic fact.

“That would be weird if I wasn't. Is that a problem? Would you prefer to date an android or something like that?”

Natsumi was missing friends her age too. The problem was not her, even though her character didn't belong to the easiest ones, but how fast she had to change her priorities and go forward into adulthood. She couldn't find time to enjoy university, go freely to cafe, cinema or shopping, when every yen had to be spent reasonably. Her younger sister was her friend too, but it was obvious both of them were hiding something from the other as a manifestation of care about each other.

Yet, she would love to have someone she could talk to anytime for hours and about anything. Natsumi didn't remember when she was having such a long conversation, if ever, when she looked at the watch, which cruelly pointed out that it was already middle of the night, and she should wake up in the next four hours. It felt like a dream that shouldn't come to an end, but there was no escaping from reality. She had to earn money, that meant doing her job properly and for this a proper doze off sleep was needed.

With their first meetings thinking it was the last time seemed so obvious and now saying simple good night almost brought pain. Natsumi already knew she was in trouble, but how could she not get into them if there was Kazuya stubbornly showing up on her way. Still there was something addictly reassuring in this feeling, making her wanting it more.

Meanwhile Kazuya couldn't sleep, going through their long conversation over and over in his mind. He was always thinking that falling in love is easy, but he won’t be the one who will surrender that fast and definitely not in circumstances like that, when he showed the worst version of himself. Why? No doubt, Natsumi’s beauty provided her a lot of admirers and Kazuya belonged to that group. But that wasn't the main reason, maybe more her directness and boldness or caring but only for the people who deserved it or just everything and nothing in particular.

He looked around, the place which was home for the last few years but never felt like this actually. There was no smell of something tasty being cooked or the noisy, old tv, which had to be turned on non-stop, especially for the time when the weather forecast was cablecasted. And his beloved grandma absolutely adored one of them who presented that part of the program, whatever he said she believed and made Kazuya take an umbrella even when there were no signs of rain coming. When someone else presented a forecast other than her favourite one, the old lady could get really suspicious and in a pretty bad mood. Kazuya’s grandma who raised him got her weird ways, but she was the most caring person he knew and missed her a lot. I need to make time to visit her, she will be so surprised when I tell her I got a girlfriend!, he thought proud of himself that it happened considering the life he was living. I bet she will start talking about getting married soon and that's ridiculous for now. We barely know each other, but I am sure grandma would love Natsumi.

“My girlfriend,” he whispered softly. The word itself still sounded quite abstractly but nice even in the plain room, he never had motivation to truly make his own. He tried but it reminded him of betraying grandma and the house he was growing up in. Anyway in his opinion for good, because it didn’t make him feel much connected with this place and not renewing contact under any conditions seemed like a moment he just needed to wait a bit longer to happen.

Two more years, nothing more, nothing less. He got suddenly stressed, that it’s actually a wrong time, when he would be really busy, under control and steady observation. Natsumi had her life, work and dreams too. Second thoughts got him, how it was supposed to work? They were a new couple, not like Tadao and Sakura, who already had their relationship somehow established long before going to the company. Was it possible for them to keep it a secret for so long, when everything that Kazuya could think of was when they would meet again and he already had problems with hiding his feelings? What if someone finds out, what if the group’s image gets destroyed, what if Natsumi gets hurt? Maybe she was right subconsciously, that dating him is a good idea? Too many “what ifs” made him so uncomfortable that he couldn’t help but send Natsumi a message asking for the next meeting to happen as fast as possible. When he did it, sudden pain overwhelmed his heart, but he rebelled against those bad hunches.