Mormon Robot

      "Yall said that the Mormons wouldn't be here until tomorrow." Motifa said with a note of anger.

      John Paul seemed to laugh to himself a little before speaking. "That's Mormons for you. They have this little habit of showing up at your doorstep at the worst times. Because doorsteps weren't really an option here, they decided to take a more indirect approach. Besides, this is more James's fault than anyone else."

      "My fault? How do I have anything to do with this? Blame Dommy if you're going to blame anyone." James said.

      "Well remember your personal ability, plot armour? It seems that you're so bad at combat that it had to use the mormons to save you." John Paul turned around towards the old exit to the gym. “Welp, I'll let you two take care of these cultist wantabies, while I do something actually important. Have fun.” John Paul said as he disappeared into thin air

      “Was that a complement?” James asked, more to himself than anyone else. Just as he went to think about it in more detail, the mormons started to move.

      They lined up in a straight line facing Motifa and James. There were five in front while all the rest lined up behind them. THe mormons behind them started to climb onto the shoulders of the mormons in front of them, like cheerleaders making a pyramid. This continued until another line of five mormons was made next to the wall of mormons in front of them. The wall then curled into a cylinder, and the new wall next to it did the same once it was the same height.

      “Farmin rake, there building a human!” Motifa said next to James, and James quickly realized that he was right. Those tubes that the mormons had turned themselves into were not tubes, but legs.

      Mormons continued to climb up the legs, making a torso, and stretching out to the sides to create arms. The Mormons in the formation stood stock still during the whole process, showing no emotion on their face. They were like statues, not blinking or breathing. Moreover, the weight seemed to not affect them in the slightest, or the strength needed to form the arms.

      When the Mormons started to create the head, Elder Matt started to climb up the abomination in the same creepy way all the Mormons before him had, looking like a spider, or maybe a possessed demon. He then settled himself into the exact middle of the head as Mormons filled the space around him, completing the figure so there were no Mormons left. Overall the transformation took maybe twenty seconds.

      “Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you they can do that. If you want my advice, then just dont fail. Bye now.” John Paul’s voice rang through the gym as if he was talking through a loudspeaker. It rang hard enough that Motifa was covering his ears, as if the noise hurt him.

      The second that John Paul’s voice stopped, the Mormons went on the attack. It swing its fist to the ground where James was standing at a surprising speed for its size, making James jump back and loose his footing. The second that the fist hit the ground, the Mormons that made up the first flew off the body from the impact, flying like bowling pins as they hit different areas of the room.

      Despite the impact, they got up as fast as they could and ran back to the body, climbing up it and getting back to where they were. The fist was now created by bloody Mormons, some of which had broken bones and one even had a missing foot. They didn't seem to even notice their injuries and continued on being part of the structure. It was like they were robots.

      Motifa immediately sent a volley of earth at them, using the same spell that he had used on James before summoning the sinkhole. Speaking of the sinkhole, James thought it was weird that Motifa didn't have a panic attack when he created it. Normally, he would have curled into a ball and had an existential crisis when he saw it. Despite the fact that the sinkhole he had halfway created was still there, he seemed to be perfectly fine with it. “Maybe it's because the sinkhole isn't fully formed?” James thought as the earth Motifa created hit its target and Mormons flew either into the wall of the gym or through the hole the Mormons created into the wintery abyss of the North Pole.

      It only took around ten seconds for the Mormon giant to become fully formed again. It ran after them, looking angry. James and Motifa ran around the gym, trying to avoid all its attacks. James shot spears of darkness at the Mormons, but they had little impact. Some of them just sailed through the gaps in the Mormons into the wall, where they disappeared without a trace. The ones that did hit the Mormons caused some slight pushback, but did not knock them out of the giant, only slowing its pace a tiny bit.

      James then decided to create a wall of light behind him and Motifa. It was a risky move that took a lot of religious power to use, and it could not even work. If it did however, then they could get their bearings. Luckily, John Paul had refilled their religious powers when he spoke on the loudspeaker, or whatever that was, without telling them.

      James turned and sent the wall out. Immediately the Mormons stopped as they slammed into the wall of light, knocking them back. They fell like dominos as a pile of Mormons was created on the floor. John Paul had said that Light magic was very situational when using it on people, and was better used on non-living objects, but so far every time so far it had worked. “Maybe everyone is evil.” James thought, or at least Motifa and the Mormons, the only two groups he had tried it on.

      It was clear that light magic worked, so James had a lot more options at his disposal. Around the time the wall disappeared, James sent a ball of pure light at the giant that had just formed while Motifa locked its legs by sealing it in earth. The ball flew with the intensity of a miniature sun, lighting up the giant gym, and making the grey walls look like they had even the smallest shred of hope in them, unlike the usual feeling of being trapped in an evil, grey prison.

      The ball slammed right into the chest of the Mormon giant, sending it flying. Weirdly enough, it stayed together, like the individual Mormons had started to adapt and become one unit, a beeing of absolute Mormonism. It got up and then started to unleash magic of its own.

      A blade of wind flew out of its forehead and targeted Motifa. He dodged it just as several more followed the first, targeting both of them. As they dodged them, the blades curved like boomerangs back towards their targets. The green blades flew back and forth as they both put their full attention to the winds that circled around them.

      Taking advantage of the distraction that the blades caused, the Mormon giant charged at them again. Motifa created walls of earth like he used against James to temporarily stop the blades and jumped to avoid the kick that the Mormon giant aimed at him. Just as the blades broke through his walls of earth, the Mormon giant put its leg down, making the blades hit the leg, causing the giant to lose its footing.

      At the same time, James sent his chain of light to capture the other leg. Now that light magic was guaranteed, combined with the fact that his dark magic had little effect, made it so light magic would result in having a good chance of winning. The chain wrapped itself around the Mormons, making them fly into each other and making the leg a lot smaller as the Mormons were all back to back of each other. James tugged, making the Mormon giant’s other leg go out from under it.

      “I'm glad that these Catholic powers increase our physical abilities, otherwise I don't think we would have stood a chance.” James said as the Mormon giant fell to the floor.

      “Yall think?” Motifa responded as he created a hammer made of earth above him. The hammer slowly got bigger and bigger as he put a ton of magic into it, trying to deliver what would hopefully be the final blow.

      When he deemed it big enough, Motifa slammed the hammer into the stomach of the Mormon giant with a “wham.” The whole body shuddered from the blow as the bones of the Mormons cracked under the pressure. The giant stopped moving as it lay there, looking like it was completely out of energy.

      As James went to go talk to Motifa however, the giant started laughing. No, Elder Matt started laughing, making James’s hair stand on end. He had thought that all the Mormons had lost the ability to do something like laugh when they all combined, becoming something like a hive mind. “You’re truly putting up a great fight, but we have Mormon Jesus on our side! At this rate, no planet or celestial wife awaits you.”

      A pulse of water shot out from the Mormons, pushing Motifa and James back. They both tried to put up a barrier, or jump out of the way, but the dome of water was too fast, and had no easy way to dodge it. The Mormon giant got up, appearing unscathes. All the injuries that it had sustained since the beginning of the fight were healed, as if they had not even fought yet.

      Fireballs shot out of the forehead of the giant, making Motifa and James scatter even farther away from the Mormons than they already were until they were up against the wall. The shadow of the Mormon giant got larger and larger behind them until it consumed the space behind the two.

      Out of desperation, James fired a single spear of darkness at random. He didn't choose any trajectory or target for it, instead not even looking when he fired it. The spear glittered gold when he fired it. It sailed through the air right for the face of Elder Matt. When it hit him, the whole giant stumbled backwards and fell on its rear, Elder Matt looking dazed from the impact.

      Taking advantage of the situation, Motifa shot a bolder around the size of James’s head, hitting its leg. Mormons flew everywhere again when it hit. They had a variety of injuries, and did not immediately get up like they did before. The Mormon giant created a giant earth wall between them, buying itself a few seconds. “It's Elder Matt, he is the weakness!” James yelled to Motifa.

      “Yeah, I got that. Now let's finish these choir boys.” Motifa created another hammer and threw it at the wall of earth, knocking it down. Behind it, the Mormon giant stood with a giant ball of pitch darkness. It was like a black hole, neglecting all light and looking like a void in space. Its leg where Motifa hit it with the boulder looked injured, and the Mormon giant was favoring its other leg.

      Motifa and James ran off in opposite directions, Motifa running with his arms behind him as the giant threw the ball of darkness. When it hit the wall, it bounced off. There was not a scratch on the grey wall as it bounced off the grey ceiling. James knew that darkness magic like that would be devastating to him if it hit, despite how little it did to the building.

      James sent another chain as the darkness bounced towards Motifa. It wrapped again around the leg of the Mormon giant, and squeezed. When James pulled on the chain, the Mormons that were captured pulled out and got crushed into each other. It was like a sandwich, except a tiny bit more bloody. Their skulls eventually split, killing all of them.

      “Motifa, they can be killed if we separate them as long as Elder Matt is dazed.” Said James.

      The Mormon giant was limping now. One leg was shorter than the other, and the other was bloody and barely standing up because of Motifa’s boulder. Unfortunately, Elder Matt shook his head and broke out of his dase. When he did, the Mormons started to heal, looking as good as new. Some of them left the longer leg and moved to the shorter one, pushing the whole giant up and balancing the legs again. They seemed to struggle with the weight for a second before returning to their normal robotic selves.

      “And that's why I'm not a bottom.” James heard Motifa mutter under his breath.

      The Mormon giant started to send out the green blades of wind again as It ran towards James. Its speed was massively decreased from where it was, but it was still faster than James was. Once the blades reached James, the Mormon giant set its fists on fire, igniting the Mormons who were positioned in the fists. Their flesh started to melt and hair caught on fire as their clothes were oddly intact. They still had no reaction as their flash slowly burned away, keeping the robotic face that they normally had.

      Once the bruning reached a certain point, the healing from Elder Matt started up, fixing their skin and making them look good as new for the fire to melt their skin away again.

      Motifa sent a volley of swords towards the giant as it went to punch with its fiery hands. The heat from the flames could be felt all over James as he weaved through the burning fire of the fist, trying to dodge it. When the fist hit the ground, flames scorched the wooden floor of the gym, but didn't catch it in fire. The Mormons in the fist got squished instead of scattering, their bodies looking like springs as the healing returned them to normal. The heat made them more squishable and less durable, or that was what James guessed.

       The swords slammed into the Mormons making up the back, but the giant didn't seem to notice. It kept throwing punches at James as the blades of wind harassed Motifa, keeping him from launching too many attacks

      “If only there were some way to pull Elder Matt out…” James thought to himself as the Mormon giant put out the flames in its hands, decadent that they were just a waste of energy and religious powers. He then thought of the chain. James could get Motifa to trap the Mormon giant with his earth for around a second, then James could use his chain of light to yank Elder Matt out of the giant. Hopefully that would make it collapse.

      He made his way over to where Motifa was jumping over the blades of wind that came at him from every other way, dodging the kicks and punches that the Mormon giant was throwing at him as often as he could. James was low on religious powers, but summoned a wall of light to buy himself a little time, which the Mormons slammed into.

       When he got over to Motifa and explained the plan, he nodded in understanding. Last time the blades of wind had disappeared after a certain time frame, so after that they would enact their plan. Less than a minute later, the baldes all disappeared right when they were supposed to.

       Motifa acted immediately, creating the strongest mounds of earth that he could with his remaining religious powers. If this failed, then Motifa could use no more magic, making this an all or nothing play. The Mormon giant stopped as it found itself unable to move due to the earth sticking to both its legs, looking as hard as iron.

      James wasted no time acting after that. When he summoned the chain of light, it gave a golden aura, as if golden particles were coming off it just like the spear of darkness he threw earlier. It sailed into the air like a whip and met its target right near the side of his stomach, wrapping around him. Motifa stopped what he was doing and ran over to James to grab the chain of light.

      Together, they yanked Elder Matt out of the giant, and the whole thing collapsed. It was like a tower of cards, where you take one of the bottom cards out and everything else comes falling down. None of the Mormons moved, other than the soft movements of their breathing, something they weren't doing before.

      Elder Matt looked at both of them with fury in his eyes. They had won versus an enemy that they had no right beating under normal circumstances. It was only because of James’s plot armour that they realized the weakness that the Mormon giant had.

      “Good job guys.” James heard someone slow clapping as John Paul appeared next to him, wearing a free flowing robe that made him look like some sort of aichent swordmaster.

       He walked over to where Elder Matt was laying on the floor and put his foot on Elder Matt’s stomach. “You know, you Mormons have always annoyed me. It's like your five year olds who wanted to be Heaven's Gate members for halloween, but mommy said no, so you did the next best thing. Such a waste of time.” He kicked Elder Matt in the stomach and created a giant portal on the ground, which all the Mormons fell through.

       “Now that that's out of the way, I have to congratulate you guys. Those Mormons were not exactly the toughest things in the world, you still did better than the average coke addict, which was about what I was expecting. As a reward, I have an idea.” John Paul said.

      “What's y'all's idea of a reward?” Asked Motifa, sounding worried.

      John Paul sprouted a wicked grin as he turned to look at Motifa. “Why, we start the beach episode of course.”