Chapter 20

Nina

Dear diary,

What shall I do now? Should I simply wait for Mel to text me back with the project details? I should have thought this through, but it’s too late now.

It was a mistake to agree, but I got lost in the idea that she is the first interesting person since the accident to want to stay in touch with me. It was an impulsive decision, and I know I shouldn’t trust even my well-thought-through ones. I believe this will prove to be no different, but it’s too late now. With some luck, maybe she only means a single project, and once I’m done, it will be over. I would hope that’s the case.

What now, though? Should I come up with a plan? I don’t know how she will react once we meet, or if there will be other people present. I need to prepare clothes, but none of what I have is fit for such an occasion. Oh, what have I done? I am in no state to go out shopping, and it will only lead to a disaster. I will simply have to do the best with what I have, and maybe that will speed up the inevitable end.

I would not tell this to anyone else but you, but despite it all, I cannot help but wonder what it would be like to be friends with her. It will not happen, of course, and I should not get too attached to it. But even so… I wonder what makes her able to paint her landscapes as she does and if she could be convinced to keep doing them. I’ve never seen anyone watching the world as she does, and I could only imagine what kind of person is behind it.

I need to rest, I will write more tomorrow.