Heads or Tails

Lailah swung her massive hand up, grasped the motorcycle by its frame, and hurled it into the wall. Before she did, the rider jumped free, and Azalea could see it was Chazz.

After all his bluster, all his insistence he'd go his own way, Yomi must have convinced him that this was the time to stop being difficult. He always did have a hard time saying no to angels with a more junior appearance.

If only he'd come five minutes earlier, Azalea thought, it might have mattered.

“Chazaqiel,” Lailah growled, “That's hardly a polite introduction.”

She stomped towards him, and Azalea practically willed him to at least dive for the fallen Regalia. To do something, anything, that would have some slim chance of getting them out of Lailah's grasp.

“Well,” Chazz said, “It got your attention, didn't it?”

“Have you come to surrender? If you ask very nicely, it may not be too late for you to be forgiven. Though you'll owe me an apology as well.”

She wiped her face with her human hand to rub the tread mark off of shattered porcelain and gold, and tensed to strike.

Chazz held out his hand, and Lailah hesitated.

“You like diplomatic solutions, don't you?” Chazz said.

“Who doesn't?” Lailah asked.

“So,” Chazz said, maneuvering in a way that said he was keenly aware of the fact that a single wrong word could make Lailah snap. There was a faint tremble in his voice, but he was trying very hard to hide it. “You'll hear me out.”

“Quickly,” Lailah insisted.

“Since neither of us wants a fight,” Chazz said, “how about a bet?”

“Gambling is a sin, Chazaqiel.”

“I could make this pretty hard for you,” Chazz said, “You know us Fallen are capable of a thing or two they don't teach you of up above. So you could deal with that, or you could take my terms – double or nothing.”

“Speak plainly, dear,” Lailah replied.

Chazz was already sweating.

“We'll settle this with a coin flip. Tails, I go quietly, you get me as well as Azalea. Heads, you let Azalea go, head back to Heaven empty handed and with your tail between your legs, and don't rejoin the hunt. That's reasonable, isn't it?”

At first, Lailah's visage was absolutely impassive, and Azalea was almost sure that she'd refuse. But then, that horrid smile returned to her face.

“Very well, Chazaqiel, dear, but I have a few conditions.”

In some ways, that frightened Azalea even more than the possibility of Chazz taking her place in the fight. He didn't know Lailah the way Azalea did. Very few others could. If she was accepting a bet, she would cheat, and she would justify it with that notion that gambling was a sin. And if she lost anyway, she'd probably attack while Chazz was still off guard. Azalea didn't know his miracle, he hadn't wanted to share, but she knew Lailah's infinite capacity for justifying her own actions.

“First,” Lailah said, “If I win, you also make a formal apology, and take off that dreadful leather jacket so that you can look presentable when I bring you to the Lord.”

“Deal,” Chazz said.

“Second,” Lailah said, “flip that coin of yours high.”

“Fine,” Chazz replied. He fished in his pocket and produced what looked to be a large, American coin, holding it outstretched on his thumb.

“I agree to the terms of the wager as we've discussed. How about you?”

“It's a bet,” Lailah said.

Her smile broke its impassive, cold nature, growing just a little wider, a little more genuine, and infinitely more aware of the cruelty she intended.

“Heads, I win,” Chazz said, “Tails, it's you.”

Chazz flipped the coin, obligingly launching it high in the air. It tumbled up, then started to come down.

Then, Lailah reared up and caught it out of the air in her human hand.

“Here we go,” he said, “That's fair enough, wouldn't you agree.”

“Fair.”

“Well,” she said, preening, “I saw you started on heads.”

She leaned low, looking Chazz in the eye as she brought up the back of her monstrous hand.

“And,” Lailah replied, “This little thing turned over exactly seven and a half times while it was flying. You have to have known, poor Chazaqiel, that your little game would never be random or unpredictable before the vision God grants us.”

“No,” Chazz said, “There was no chance. So, going to show us the answer?”

Lailah placed her palm firmly down on the back of her monstrous hand, balancing the coin on the framework.

“I think you should get on your knees,” she said as she slowly took her hands away, “be a good boy, and... heads?!”

Lailah recoiled in shock. The coil fell through her hand and she caught it pinched between her fingers. She turned the little thing over frantically.

“Heads... heads... both sides are heads? Chazaqiel, I'm disappointed, to think even a former angel would cheat-”

“It's still a deal,” Chazz said, “I never promised it would be a fair coin.”

All that just to spite Lailah? Azalea might have underestimated Chazz. Lailah reared back and swung her hand down at him.

But, as she did, her claw evaporated into golden smoke. The rest of her body began to sublimate as well.

“What is this?” Lailah demanded, “Why?”

“I told you, didn't I?” Chazz said, “We've got our own powers. And when you make a bet with me, nobody's going back on it.”

“Curse you!” Lailah shrieked, “You will never...”

But she was gone.

“Heh,” Chazz sneered, pretending he hadn't been scared out of his wits until Lailah had agreed to the coin flip. He bent down, and scooped up his two-faced coin.

“Too easy,” he said. He wiped the sweat from his brow, and Azalea didn't know if it was from the fear or from the strain his miracle placed him under. He walked over and picked up the fallen regalia, resting it on his shoulder in a theatrical manner.

“Mrmm mmfpm mm?!” Azalea tried to speak

(Translation: “What about me?!”)

Chazz turned.

“Got yourself in a bind, huh?” he asked.

“Mrmm mfmmr.”

(Translation: “Very funny.”)

Chazz shifted his grip and knelt low.

“Hold still,” he said, “you may be an annoying busybody, but I don't wanna hurt you.”

“Mrr, mrphm.”

(Translation: “Gee, thanks.”)

Chazz cut the strings binding Azalea's arms, then the ones on her legs. Then he turned away.

“Now,” he said, “where's the real action?”

“Mrmmr? Mm mrmph?”

(Translation: “Hello? My mouth?”)

“Well?” Chazz asked, “I don't think you all are going to be able to handle Munkar and his goons without me.”

Azalea gestured frantically in the direction of the stairs, and made upward motions to indicate the correct room, all the while mmring and mmphming in the vain hope that Chazz would get the idea that he had the only edge that it made any sense to use against the threads sealing her lips.

“I get it,” Chazz said, “You want to lead the way. Let's go! A proper entrance is in the nick of time, but it isn't late.”

“Mmr mrm mmph m mrmp!”

(Translation: “You are such a brat!”)