Their Growing Bond

Another month passed and they had kept meeting every Wednesday, slowly learning a little bit more about each other, and gradually opening up about themselves. But there was a clear imbalance. While Mika had revealed a lot, Aoi was still locked behind walls of his own making, and Mika’s energy had been unable to break through.

“Hey,” said Mika, somewhat shyly. “You’ve never been to the local bakery, have you?”

“I have, quite a while ago, why?”

“Oh… uh nothing in particular,” said Mika, relieved that the bakery encounter was not memorable to him. She was about to hand him some food, but that day, Aoi brought dinner instead. He was trying to escape the coffee and pastries that Mika was slowly and painfully repaying her debt with.

“I brought a small meal for you today, so you can have the energy to sing even more,” said Aoi as he carefully unwrapped what seemed like a nicely boxed meal and handed it respectfully to Mika.

“I can’t accept this…” said Mika, trying to refuse the offer.

“If you don’t eat it it will go to waste.”

Aoi slightly opened his meal to show her a small glimpse of it. Mika quickly changed her expression, and while she really wanted to try the food inside the box, the only way she could excuse herself to have some was by not wanting anything to go to waste.

“Fine, but don’t make it a habit, I still owe you,” she said as she accepted the meal, pretending to be reluctant about it.

“I know,” said Aoi, hiding how painfully aware he was of her sense of debt and repayment.

Mika opened the small lunch box, and immediately the delicious scent of grilled eel over warm rice flowed out of it. The glaze on the eel slices glistened beautifully as Mika’s eyes lit up with excitement. She had mentioned sometime that she liked eel, and even though she didn’t remember saying it, Aoi didn't forget. She let go of all restraints and happily enjoyed the meal.

“It’s delicious!” said Mika, full of joy. “Thank you so much!” she said happily, before suddenly realizing she now had a new debt to pay.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said. “It… is the best eel bowl I’ve found, though.” Aoi didn’t really want Mika’s debt to increase, but after getting to know each other better, he did feel like teasing her a bit. Mika’s expression cracked; she was visibly embarrassed thinking about how she was going to pay it back. Aoi couldn’t avoid feeling some pleasure at the reaction that he had caused.

“Don’t worry about it. My childhood friend tours food places all the time, so I just had to order one as we walked by. It’s nothing special.” Aoi tried to calm her down, knowing that perhaps he had gone a little too far. They both enjoyed finishing their meal at the park, and cleaned up after themselves. In the end, food enjoyed together was a lot better than by themselves, even if their average meal was usually canned coffee and a slightly old chocolate croissant. The night went by as moments of silence, music and conversation weaved together, forming their now usual encounters.

“So a young girl called you an idol, an old man drove you to the train station when you were lost, and suddenly you want to give it your best?” Aoi seemed confused by Mika’s anecdote, which was the reason she went back to the park to practice. She left out the part where Aoi was the one who made her start doubting herself in the first place. “Is it that easy to flip a switch and be a completely different person?”

Mika, facing her innermost fears and feelings, had a hard time talking about them. “Of… of course not!” She stuttered, causing them both to remain silent and awkwardly look away for a few moments. “But…” she said as she tried to build courage for herself, “But you can’t underestimate the power of having a direction, a purpose.” She paused while looking at Aoi, “You know?” she asked, with her voice shaking. Even though Mika was nervously, desperately asking for some reassurance, those words affected Aoi unexpectedly, chipping at the wall he had been hiding behind since they had first met.

“Is that… how it is?” asked Aoi. Even if he was trying to hide his internal conflict, it still sounded like a slightly uncertain reply. The conversation paused for a few minutes, and Mika filled the silence with a little strumming and humming.

“I should leave, I’ve been taking too much of your practice time, I’m sorry,” said Aoi, trying to both give her space and escape the situation.

“Sure but, know this,” started Mika. “I know you felt bad for me that night when we first met, and that’s why you did what you did, and said what you said.” Mika’s eyes looked at Aoi fearlessly, even though Aoi was deep in his own worries. “But know that I won’t let you feel like that anymore.”

Mika’s determination moved Aoi. The girl with barely any time and resources was moving forward with an energy that he didn’t expect.

“I’ll be rooting for you,” said Aoi kindly, no longer worried about his own problems, or Mika’s.

“You better be,” said Mika, as she cheerfully smiled at him.

“Can I be your first fan?” Aoi asked. The words echoed in Mika’s mind.

“No!” said Mika, slightly startling Aoi with her sudden energy. “The first fan was that girl at the station, remember?” Mika then plunged into a little of her characteristic, occasional gloominess. “Besides, I don’t really deserve any fans.”

“I decide what I want to be a fan of. Not you. Your part is to not let your fans down.”

“Huh?! That sounds like a nasty relationship. Why would I want that?” Mika seemed genuinely annoyed at his explanation, but that was what fandom boiled down to in Aoi’s experience.

“I’m not sure, I didn’t make these rules. And I’d be fine not following them, if you want.” Aoi conceded to Mika’s wishes, but seemed unable to let the topic go entirely. “But, you really need to start thinking that you are deserving of fans.”

Mika’s expression remained somewhat melancholic, and silence took over, but not in a comfortable way. She knew Aoi was right, but she wasn’t strong enough to overcome her own lack of confidence. Mika was visibly shaken by his words. Most of the time their talks brought calm to otherwise troubled days, but this issue was just too difficult for one evening.

“I won’t be able to be here for the next two weeks, I’ll be out of town,” said Aoi, sensing a change of topic would be welcome.

“Out of town?” asked Mika, curious.

“Yeah. Work trip,” he said. Ordinarily he would stop there, but he knew an explanation would be more comforting. “So don’t think it’s related to anything you’ve said or done. In fact, I think you’ve improved so far. So keep it up.” Aoi, despite being emotionally distant, always kept his strong sense of empathy. He started getting ready to head back home, as they both remained silent under the moonlight.

“I’ll see you the week after, then,” said Mika.

“I’m looking forward to seeing your improvement. Don’t stop practicing,” he said, as he looked at her for the last time that night, “I’ll be able to tell.”

“Of course I will, don’t treat me like that.” Mika complained in a playful way. She managed to regain some of her spark, right before he left. She smiled as he walked away.

Soon after she became saddened thinking they’d be separated for a couple of weeks. Mika realized she had grown used to meeting him every Wednesday. It was a comfortable habit that pushed both of them forward in their daily lives. Those conversations gave them happy memories, and that happiness gave them energy when they were tired. With that energy, they powered themselves towards every new day.