Motive for Charity III

"Good evening, Lena."

"Good evening, Carol. I heard you were sick, so you couldn't visit. Are you doin' better now?"

"Yes, I'm doing much better. Can I assume that the other children have recovered as well?"

"Assume? Oh, that's right. They're all up and about mostly. Bryan is bringing back ingredients for dinner with the little ones."

"That's great news."

Carolyn had already heard about the children's recovery through Lavender, but she still felt happy after hearing it in person. However, Mike's suffering made it hard to smile. Unlike her and the other children, Mike had taken Anthony's drug over a long period, so the withdrawal symptoms he faced were of a similar degree to the addicts lying around the slums. With Anthony's capture, and no other way to gain access to the drug anymore, there was only one end for those people. It might be different if they had a group of loved ones willing to take care of them, but if they had such a loving network, they wouldn't have become addicts in the slums to begin with. Mike was luckier than them, but whether he could survive or not would depend on his willpower.

As she looked at Mike's pained face, Carolyn recalled Benedict's words and the reason why she was unsure about how to interact with the children. Now speaking with Lena, Carolyn could feel a strong empathy for her. She almost felt like she could sense what Lena was feeling. Of course, she didn't believe this to be true, but it was clear proof of her issues.

"Is the Priest in?"

"Yes, he's in his office like usual. Are you gonna see him?"

"Um, yes. Just not yet."

"Okay."

Lena didn't pressure Carolyn with any questions and went back to caring for Mike. She showed little concern for him, but she wasn't careless with his treatment either. Carolyn knew she could trust Lena with him, so she then searched for Lety. She looked towards Lety's usual resting spot and found Lety waving at her, so she waved back and went to her side.

"I'm glad to see that you're doing well. Is Derrick out?"

"Yeah, I asked him to look for something for me. He should be back before the sun sets."

"I see. Then, shall we catch up?"

According to Lety, Mike fell ill near the end of Evilday, while most of the children, including herself, recovered on Altaday. Lety kept up with her intelligence-gathering project, so she was also aware of the current rumours being passed around the city.

"I'm surprised you could keep it going while you were sick."

"Well, all I have to do is give instructions. Though I did have a hard time staying clearheaded. And if it wasn't for Mr Priest, I wouldn't be able to pay anyone, so I would be forced to stop. It's nice to have everyone's help, but it really reminds me of how little I can do by myself."

"I'm sure that's true for everyone to an extent. We all rely on those around us in one way or another. And I'm sure Derrick would be disappointed if you didn't ask him for help."

"You're probably right. I just wish I could help him too, that's all."

"I see."

From the moment they first met, Lety's driving force had always been her brother, and Carolyn was happy to aid her so that both of them could have their wishes granted. Carolyn envied her really. Unlike herself, Lety had a clear desire that served as her motivation.

"What about you?"

"Me?"

"I heard you were sick. Have you gotten better?"

"Oh, yes. I'm fine now. I'm sorry for worrying you."

"You don't need to apologise. I'm well aware of how it feels to be the one stuck in bed. But if you're not sick, then what's bothering you?"

"...Was it that obvious?"

"Yes. You catch me off guard sometimes, but you tend to show it on your face when something's bothering you. If it's something you can talk about, could I hear what it is?"

This wasn't the first time she was told that she showed her worries on her face, so Carolyn wondered if she should do something about it as she thought of what to say to Lety.

"Lety, when we first met, why did you decide to accept my help? Was it just because I offered?"

"Hmm, let me think. You being on good terms with Mr. Priest was a big part of it, and after talking to you, I got the feeling that you wouldn't dismiss my ideas because I'm a kid. I would say it was mainly those two reasons."

"But, would you have asked for my help if I wasn't as selfless?"

"You, selfless?"

As Lety showed an expression of sincere confusion, Carolyn was similarly shocked.

"I suppose I can't really say I'm completely unselfish, but how did I seem to you?"

"Well, yeah, you're so kind and nosy that I can hardly believe it, but I've never once thought of you as selfless."

"I'm kind but not selfless?"

"Yes. Thinking back to when we first met, you were eager to offer your help, but it was obvious that you weren't really doing it for our sakes. After all, you barely knew anything about us, so no matter what you believed you couldn't know what we wanted or needed, all you knew was what you wanted us to have. And despite that, you came to our doorstep, sat on the dirty floor and promised to help me even though I didn't tell you my plan. You could only do that because by helping us you could get something that you wanted, something worth at least as much as what you had to give. You might put others first, but you're not selfless; your eyes have always been rich with desire, just nicer desires than most."

Lety's words completely shattered Carolyn's assumptions. It was a little embarrassing to admit, but she imagined herself as somewhat of an altruist around the children, but with her first point, Lety demolished that idea. She was right; that was Carolyn's first time meeting them, and she had never lived in a slum before, so she couldn't have acted purely for their sakes. Her motivation had to be personal as well. Yes, she wanted to help them, not for them, but for herself.

"So, I've always been selfish?"

"That's right. I bet even Brother would laugh at you for calling yourself selfless."

"Yeah, you're right."

Even before Carolyn realised it, Lety could tell that Carolyn had ulterior motives for helping her, yet she still took her hand.

"So, you think I'm fine like this? Even if I might be using you?"

"Mhmm, at least I don't have a problem with it. We're using each other, aren't we? And what's wrong with being a little selfish? I actually find someone selfless far more suspicious. If I wasn't able to see any desires in your eyes when we first met, I wouldn't have accepted your help no matter what you said."

"I see. Then, I suppose this is a good thing."

As the one closest to her among the children of the slums, Lety's words quickly freed Carolyn's heart from the burdens it had carried. She wasn't sure if her heart was in the right place, but if Lety thought that she was fine this way, then she was willing to squash her concern and continue living the way she saw fit.

"Now that I think about it, this is the second time."

"Hmm?"

"It's nothing."

'First Atla, now Lety. Are these girls special, or is my mental age lower than a child's?'

While thinking about her fate with the little girls, Carolyn looked at Benedict's office door.

"Thank you for your advice, Lety. I'm going to talk to the Priest now."

"Okay."

As she approached Benedict's office, Carolyn felt much better compared to when she entered the church. She was still nervous, but this time she knew what she wanted to say. Soon after she knocked on the door, she received permission to enter and stepped inside. As always, she found Benedict calmly drinking tea; only this time there wasn't a cup for herself.

"So? Do you have something to say to me, Ms. Carol?"